Phillip raised an eyebrow and closed his eyes. He wasn't helping me on this one. I was supposed to date this boy, so I would get no help from him. Or maybe he considered ignoring me as helping, since him sitting with me and me agreeing to go to the dance with him would kill our plan.
Speaking of killing, I wish that boy was here. I could go for strangling someone right now. I threw Phillip one last dirty look, which he couldn't see, and swore at him as I took my seat. He even had the nerve to smile for a second.
I leaned against the window and hoped Nick would not harass me when he returned to his seat. I closed my eyes and slowed my breathing. I would just pretend to be asleep, for the next five hours or so.
Nick returned and was silent. Wow, maybe I really had destroyed all chances of this working. A part of me said good riddance. Another part remembered that day when he left, and the news of my death reaching him. It had cut him hard.
I had kept track of him since starting to work for Jane. That’s the only contact with the past I was allowed. I didn’t know if I could kill him, if his friend told him I was Celeste. I was sure I was no longer in love with him. But how do you kill the only boy you ever dated? The only man you ever loved? I had loved him. Maybe a part of me still did. The dead part, because I wasn't Celeste anymore.
He had left me there even with the forewarning of the attack. I couldn't forgive him for that. Yet, when I lay dying, I had been so glad he wasn't there so he didn’t have to see what happened to the women and girls on the planet. I saw men watch their wives go through what I did. Their screams were worse than those being raped. I was so glad he wasn't there to die for trying to break loose and stop them from hurting me. When I recovered, that’s when the anger came.
After the attack, the military assumed everyone was dead. They didn’t go to the planet to search for survivors. They didn’t go to the planet until three months later, in fact. I kept track of him the whole time. He didn’t return to see if I was alive or to search for my body so he could grieve for me. He stayed in his school, safe, and continued his studies. Jane and the firm had looked for survivors. But not the military, not my love.
I sighed. If it had been me, I would have shot anyone who got in the way of me returning to look for him. The military were the first to hear about the attack. The members who had family or loved ones were told even before it went on TV. Nothing would have stood in my way of going to him. But he didn’t even try.
I shook my head. I had to stop thinking about this. It wouldn’t help any. I couldn't forgive him for our fight last night, nor date him if I dragged up old grudges that I was supposed to have let go of months ago. Hell, they should have been gone years ago.
“Helen.”
“Don’t. Not now.”
I didn’t know what he had planned on saying but I didn’t really care. I couldn't be civil right now.
Jane had always said that I was the perfect killing machine because I didn’t have emotion. Well, she was wrong. I was the perfect killing machine because I knew how to use my negative emotions to reach perfection. I was a perfect killer because I held onto my grudges and wanted revenge for every wrong done to me. I was just better at hiding it than most. But, no matter how good I was, I was sure I wasn't good enough to deal with this right now.
Chapter Seven (Helen)
We arrived in Paris right on time, had to love that commercial planes had light speed now days. Taxi vans awaited us and I climbed into the nearest one. I didn’t really care if we had assigned taxis or not. Phillip and Missy climbed in the back seat with me and all I could think was ‘give me a break’. But I sat, stared out the window and said nothing. Across from me was Nick and, go figure, his two buddies John and Bill.
Bill kept staring at me like he wanted to shout at me. I wanted to say, ‘yeah, I lied, get over it’. I didn’t. John paid me no attention, which told me Bill hadn’t told anyone else the secret he knew. Good. I wanted this done and over with, and the more people that knew, the longer it’d take me to kill them all. I’d have to give it time in between each person so no one got suspicious. This mission sucked.
We all were assigned rooms and roommates upon entering the hotel lobby. Phillip was with Nick, great. I, lucky person that I am, got Missy. Could my life be any worse? We all slunk off to our rooms. We had an hour to clean up and change. Anyone wanting to leave the premises would meet downstairs in one hour or be stuck in the hotel until tonight’s dinner.
I hurried up, wanting to take a shower and leave as soon as possible. I got to the room first, threw my stuff on the bed closest to the window, and ran into the bathroom. I jumped into the shower and let the hot water rinse away the stress. I scrubbed as hard as possible - I hate the smell that being on a plane for hours gives you – then jumped out to dry off and get dressed. I knew Missy was in the room because I could hear her moving around, talking on her cell phone.
I hadn’t brought clothes in with me – due to being in a rush to use the shower first, to get warm water - so I walked out in a towel. I walked over to my luggage on my bed and opened it, looking for something to wear. Someone knocked on the door. Missy, upon seeing me not move to get it, got off her cell and opened the door.
I swear her entire body perked up when she saw who it was.
“Oh Nick, are you bringing me flowers?”
I almost fainted. I didn’t want to listen to this junk right now.
“Umm, is Helen in here?”
Missy turned and frowned at me, then opened the door wider. He walked in. I was a bit embarrassed. I didn’t usually have a complex about being naked but circumstances were different this time around. At least I still had my towel on.
He carried three roses. They were each a different color. I was a sucker for roses.
“What are you doing here?”
He looked almost as embarrassed as I did. Well, as embarrassed as I imagined I looked.
“I don’t know much about girls but I do know that roses are what you give them when you need to apologize for something.”
He was trying not to look at me.
“Is this some kind of joke?”
That did make him turn his head and look at me.
“No, why?”
He frowned.
“You won't even look at me while you say sorry.”
He blushed and looked down from my face. I followed his eyes and remembered I was only in a towel. I got it now. He was trying not to stare.
I laughed at both of our being uncomfortable. “I guess since you made the effort and are trying to not stare like most guys would, I’ll forgive you.”
He breathed a sigh of relief and gave me the roses. Then he ran out of the room as fast as he could. I shook my head and laughed to myself again. I grabbed some jeans and a tank top. Then I began to dress, as Missy slammed the bathroom door and took what I hoped was a cold shower.
I headed down the stairs, taking them two at a time. I wanted to get out of here. After being caged in that plane - commercial flying is nothing like flying a jet - I needed room to move about. I hadn’t slept much last night but what little I did get was enough to keep me awake while I went shopping. I had done more strenuous activity with less sleep.
I got to the meeting place a half an hour early and found a couple of people there. I guess they had the same idea as I did, get here early so I wouldn’t miss my ticket out of here. I saw no one I wanted to talk to so I sat to wait for the clock to free us from this hotel. Even if I didn’t want to leave, I didn’t want to stay with Missy.
My face wrinkled in disgust. Uck. I didn’t like the girl, at all. She just rubbed me the wrong way. I had met hundreds of girls just like her and tolerated them just fine. But I couldn't deal with her without thinking about ripping her tongue out. Phillip would say it was her interest in Nick. But I didn’t want to think that. That would be bad news for me.
Jane would kill me. I would kill myself on principal. I was a mercenary. I had no room for romance and whatever else came with
that territory. I couldn't get married and have a home. I mean, what am I going to do, come home and be like ‘hi honey killed another one today, sorry I can't share the details, you’ll hear about it on the news’? I don’t think so.
I leaned my head onto the back of the chair. “Uhhh. I am losing my mind.”
I closed my eyes breathing deeply. That’s it, no more late nights for me.
(Phillip)
“So, you gave her roses, huh? That’s a hefty gift for someone not interested in her.”
“It’s none of your business.”
I smiled. Putty in my hands.
“Come on, Nick. Just admit that you like her. It will save you so much energy to just admit it.”
He turned to look at me.
“Go to hell, Phillip.
He pulled off his shirt and walked into the bathroom, turning on the water. I had already taken my shower while he had visited Helen. I smiled in his direction. Helen and I were masters. He would never leave France thinking anything other than that he is in love with her.
I frowned for just a second. Hopefully Helen would take this just like any other job. I returned to my sarcastic smile as he came back out from the bathroom.
“I don’t know why you asked to room with me. It’s obvious you don’t exactly like me. To be honest, I don’t really know why. But I really don’t care. I just want to know why you seem so inclined to harass me about giving her some flowers. I was just apologizing for ruining the truce we had agreed on. What's the big deal?”
“The big deal is that you like her.”
I could play the jealous guy. It wasn't me, in truth. I wasn't the jealous type. I didn’t have time for jealousy. But now I had to make time. I briefly wondered what it would be like to be just another soldier boy. They lived such normal lives. But my life wasn't meant to be that way.
“You can think whatever you want, man.”
He turned to walk to the bathroom but turned back around when he reached the door.
“Why would it be such a big deal if I do?”
“Because…”
“Because you like her. Well, obviously she doesn't feel that way about you, so get over it. If I did like her it wouldn’t be any of your business anyway. Why does it matter to you?”
He glowered at me. I almost smiled in amusement. This was turning out to be more fun than I had thought it would be. I so enjoyed undercover work. I wasn’t sure why Helen shied away from it so.
“It wouldn’t… normally. However, I have recently discovered some information that leads me to believe that it would be better to keep the two of you apart.”
If looks could kill, his would have killed me. I smiled in return. I was being vague. Maybe too vague. But no, human curiosity won in the end.
“What is that? I can't think of anything that would give you reason to stop us from being friends.”
“Well, it’s just that she is a killer and romance has no place in her life, and…”
“I have heard that line before. You still tried to be romantic with her. What's the difference between you and another guy?”
I sighed, not entirely pretending my annoyance. He was dense, maybe that’s why he and Celeste had been together. She couldn’t even tell he liked her now; it was obvious to everyone but the two of them.
“Well, I know it can never be permanent. Other guys might not understand that.”
He let out a frustrated growl; at least that was what it sounded like.
“Don’t you think that that would be between her and the guy? What if he can handle her job and the fact that she won't always be around? If some guy wants to try, who are you to judge?”
I shook my head. “If she cared about someone and they cared for her, she would not be totally focused on her job. It could get her killed.”
“She has more skill than that.”
It was true, she did. She could separate her emotions from her job, making her the perfect killing machine. At the end of the job she would return to normal life and leave work out of it. I knew her well enough to know she was capable of doing it. However, he didn’t.
“Maybe, but her handler won't allow her to be with just anyone.”
“Phillip, why are you trying so hard to convince me not to have a relationship with her, when I have said before I don’t want one that goes beyond friendship?”
Time to play coy. “Are you sure? I mean you aren't lying just to get me off your back, are you? Would you really tell me if you were interested?”
“Now you are just creeping me out. Look, I don’t know what your deal is but I would appreciate it if you left me out of your little psycho party.”
“I just want to make sure that she isn't going to change her mind about her life. If the guy she likes liked her back, things could change… and Jane, well, she wouldn’t like that. It could put Helen in danger.”
Now the worried friend. Boy, I was on a roll. I deserved an Oscar or something.
“I still don’t see what that has to do with me liking her. So what if I do? It’s not like she likes me back.”
I turned my head, pretending ignorance or innocence. I wasn't really sure which, but I hoped he would take it for the hint he was supposed to think it was.
“Phillip. Phillip, answer me. What does that have to do with me?”
I got up off my bed and went to the chair by the window. I purposely ignored him. Let him make what assumption he would, I just hoped he made the right one. The one we wanted him to make.
He mumbled a ‘whatever’ and went into the bathroom to shower. I got up and decided to visit Helen. Maybe if he caught us arguing when he went downstairs to find her, and I knew he would, he might get the hint more thoroughly. He didn’t seem stupid, but if we could make it obvious without being obvious ourselves, this would go by faster.
(Helen)
“Helen, you look refreshed.”
I secretly groaned on the inside. But out loud I said nothing as I opened my eyes to look at Phillip.
“Your boyfriend and I just had a nice chat.”
I nodded my head “And?”
“Aren't you supposed to be excited that this is finally on the move? You are supposed to play the excited girl. You like him, he likes you, and his friend gets no chance to interfere with your life.”
“Hurray for me, now let me pretend to nap while I wait for the damn chaperon.”
Phillip smiled at me. He reminded me of a cat.
“You don’t seem all that excited.”
“I’m not. I hate this crap. I wish I could just kill the kid and get back to my life. I don’t want to waste my time on this.”
“Ahh, you sound like the old Helen again. I think this has been good for you. For awhile Jane and I worried that you didn’t care anymore.”
I smiled and closed my eyes. “Of course I care. Maybe not about you two, but I do enjoy my life.”
I leaned my head back against the chair again and counted down the minutes until he would leave me alone, or until it would be time to go. Whichever came first was fine with me.
Phillip was not dumb; he sensed my want to be alone, so he turned to leave. But something he said had bothered me.
“Phillip.”
I picked my head up and opened my eyes.
“Yes?”
“Do you think he really likes me or is he just falling into our trap?”
He cocked his head to the side, as if thinking about it. Or maybe he was thinking about what this question could mean for me.
“Oh, Phillip, you know me. I don’t really want to date him and so after this is done I want it to be just as easy to break up as it was to get him to date me.”
He nodded.
“If it isn't, and he does really fall for you… well we’ll take care of that when the time comes. How does that work for you?”
“Thanks, I feel so much better now. A wait and see answer. I have lots of patience Phillip, but not about these things.”
“Sorry, that’s the be
st I can do now. Because honestly, I don’t know if it is so easy to play on suggestion since you look like Celeste, or if he really is falling for you. It’s hard to tell.”
I let my head fall back again.
“Thanks Phillip, you are a great help. You are supposed to be my inside man and you have no idea what is going on.”
He shrugged his shoulders and walked away. Men were so not helpful. I sighed and waited for the chaperon to arrive. I loved Paris, I did not, however, like sitting inside a hotel in Paris when I could be out and about. I closed my eyes and attempted to fake sleeping, hoping no one would bother me. I was not so lucky.
“I know who you are. Who you really are.”
I sighed and opened my eyes, not really wanting to deal with this right now. Where the hell was Phillip?
I sat up straight and looked into Bill’s eyes. He knew, and he was going to tell. There was no way to broker a deal with him. Too bad, it would have saved his life.
“So, you cracked my file and know that I’m a bounty hunter with a lot of classified information, and now you can, what, tell the government the jobs I have done for my private organization and vice versa? Who cares? They pretty much always coincide anyway.” I leaned back into my chair and waited. The next move was up to him. He could take it and leave, or he could die.
He smiled and I knew it was option number two.
“I mean the secret you have been keeping from the government. The one you have kept from Nick. How pissed do you think he would be to learn that his dead fiancée was not so dead, but actually alive and playing him like a fiddle while lying about who she is?”
I shrugged like I didn’t care. “So, what do you want? A promotion? It is in my power to give you one as long as we do a mission together first, so I can say you earned it.”
His smile widened and I didn’t think a promotion would do it.
“Like I would go anywhere alone with you. I wouldn’t come back. So I guess the promotion is out.”
I shrugged. I wouldn’t lie. I would kill him. In fact, I had every intention of doing so when we did get placed on a mission together, but no need to tell him that.
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