No Life, Only Death

by Francheska Fifield

  “You think you can hit them when they are that far away and going that fast?”

  “No, I’m going to draw them near and blow up our plane.”

  “That seems like a dumb idea to me.”

  I laughed and shrugged my shoulders. Phillip looked worried. No faith in my plan. “It’s not dumb, it’s great, and they won’t ever expect it.”

  “Plan C first. Start this fucker.”

  “I can’t, I brought you instead of a mechanic. In addition, there are ground forces. They will be here soon, and I want to be dealing with only them. Not them and ships.”

  Phillip sighed.

  “Cover me. Friend and I can deal with ground forces if you can save our plane, then deal with the flying forces.”

  “I’ll have to save your ass. We do not know how many there are and I do not know how to fix this plane. It is a newer model and I have not learned anything more than how to fly it. I have not had time for mechanic lessons.”

  I tried the override button and grabbed Friend. I plugged him in and the firing began. They were bombing us. This material was stronger than tank armor, but too much and it would cave. Their bullets were stronger than tank armor could handle. It was starting to get hot.

  “What are you doing?”

  “Patience is a virtue.” I needed just a bit more time.

  “Not right now it isn’t.”

  I pushed the override button and it started up. “Yes. Way to go, Friend.”

  I gave the computer back to Phillip and got us in the air, all the while trying to control the plane. The fire had overheated the engine. In all likelihood, flying would blow us up eventually. I wondered if Phillip would rather know, or die without previous knowledge.

  “Off we go.”

  She was not as nimble as before. She was damaged and the missiles were sticking instead of firing. I used the guns attached to the plane until the missiles unstuck. They went off three at a time. Luckily, we were near the camp, so it was destroyed in the blast.

  “We’ll need a sweeper team in here to check for escapees.”

  “We can do it.”

  I looked at our pressure gauge. “Not likely. Call it in now; we will be done when they get here. Tell them to come heavily armed.”

  Phillip sighed and called it in. We had five minutes before they arrived. Likely we wouldn’t last that long, but we could pray. The remaining planes followed us around. I flew as high as I could until the plane started to make noises, noises that were not a good sign. A red alert light went off and I sighed. Damn, this was so not going well. I pushed it higher and then dropped towards the ground in a nose dive.

  “Get ready to jump, Phillip.”

  “Jump?”

  He did not sound very confident. “Yeah, hold Friend tight and be ready to roll. I’m ejecting us.”

  “Ejecting?”

  He sounded worse now. “Before we crash and die.”

  “Oh, great. So we aren’t going to live, are we?”

  “Of course we are. You called in the rescue team - I mean sweeper team - and they will get here and save our asses just in time.”

  One, two and three. I ejected us and unbuckled myself from my seat. Phillip did the same and we rolled out of the way. The plane crashed and the others did not have time to evade the explosion. The rest of the enemy planes went down and burned with ours. Phillip stood and brushed himself off. I sat up and brushed my hair back out of my face. That had been too close for comfort.

  “Look.”

  Phillip pointed up. I shaded my eyes and looked up. Our rescue squad. There was one plane that went past us to find if anybody had escaped the explosion of the camp that Phillip and I had destroyed. The other one landed. It was a passenger plane. It was small but it could hold four or five people.

  I hoped one had already made it to the rookies. One of the medics from our fleet, if a two battle ships could be called a fleet, got out of the carrier and came over to us. He looked Phillip up and down. But as he was standing whereas I was sitting, he assumed I needed help and Phillip did not.

  “I’m fine.”

  “Let me be the judge of that.”

  “Seriously, I am fine.”

  The medic glared at me and tried to shine a light in my eye. I turned away and looked to see who else had come. Phillip was walking to the plane. Nick and the general were walking towards me.

  “So, I thought there weren’t any major alien camps on this planet, General.”

  “Now soldier, things don’t always go as planned.”

  “You are right. Now we have one plane less for tomorrow.” That would hurt us when it came time to attack the alien fleet.

  “Yes. How did that happen?”

  “I blew it up.” If he had a problem with that, screw him. I was not taking any shit. It was his damn fault for not sending us with the appropriate information and weaponry.

  “That’s coming out of your paycheck soldier.”

  I snorted and got up. Nick was at my side, obviously waiting for me to fall back down. I did not even sway. I really was fine. Why did everyone assume I was down? I was always ready for more; that did happen to be my job. Well, was my job. Nick grabbed my hand and squeezed. I let him for a quick second. He was worried and needed to reassure himself that I was okay. When did men become such sensitive pansies?

  “Are you all right?”

  I nodded and pulled my hand out of his, then walked over to the plane that was waiting on standby. “I’m fine. Let’s just get back so we can find out what went wrong.”

  Someone had not done their job and they wouldn’t have it when I was done with them.

  It turned out that the whole planet hadn’t gotten a thorough look over. I yelled, the general yelled, but in the end no one was punished. We couldn’t afford to punish anyone and lose more people or equipment. Instead, we all got ready for launch.

  I was lying in my room, waiting for something to do, when a knock sounded. Nick walked in before I could answer. Too bad, because I would have said come back later. Now it was too late.

  “Are you okay?”

  He had asked me only a million times since lift off. One more and I was jumping off the ship and into space, just to avoid him.

  “Ask me again and one of us will be floating around in space soon.”

  He sighed and leaned down to kiss me. I did the smart thing; I sat up and moved away from him. The first time had been a moment of weakness. I had been worried about dying, reaching the end of my rope. Today had reminded me that I didn’t fear death. I was never as sure of it as when I faced it.

  “Nick, I meant what I said. I'm not still in love with you and I don’t want a relationship with you. Last night was fine, but it was more me fearing I would die before we got to the aliens’ home world. We all lived and are on our way. I faced death again today and I’m not afraid. I’m getting my chance to pay them back, and that’s that. There’s nothing else to say.”

  He sighed and stood, but didn’t leave.

  “You really are going to keep trying to convince yourself that you don’t still love me.”

  I stood and stared at him. The thing was I had realized something today. I didn’t love him. I had always wondered if, given a second chance, we could make it work. Or what we would have done differently if we could. He wouldn’t do anything differently, and I didn’t want or need this second chance.

  “When I said it before, I admit I wasn’t sure. It seemed almost biblical. A second chance. I guess I always wondered what we would do with one.”

  “Now?”

  “You wouldn’t change your decision to leave…”

  “So, you are punishing me?”

  I shook my head at him, not breaking eye contact. “I wasn’t finished. You have accepted your life and I'm glad, really I am. I want you to be happy. But it’s not going to be with me. You wouldn’t change your decision to leave and I wouldn’t either. My rape, my near death experience, it made me stronger. Strong enough to survive on my own
if I have to. When I'm with you, I'm needy; I need you by my side. When I don’t have you, I'm strong. I can survive anything. I'm no longer the girl that needs a man and I don’t want to be again. You make me one of those. Not on purpose, we just aren’t good for one another.

  “I think everything happened this way because it was supposed to. We don’t need a second chance; we made the right decisions with the first one. We had a good thing once, but we were so young and foolish. It never would have lasted, even if things had ended up different. One or both of us would have ended up bitter and angry.

  “You haven’t had time to accept it yet, but down the road, if we survive, you will realize I'm right and be relieved. If that does happen, and you want to be friends, I would be more than willing to help you with your career, or anything you need. Until then, I'm sorry, Nick. All I can say is I hope you realize the truth sooner rather than later. I don’t want you to suffer.”

  He turned and walked out the door, pushing past someone. Phillip walked in, looking at me in awe, or shock, maybe a bit of both.

  “When did you get so wise?”

  I shrugged. “I don’t know. It just sort of hit me, I guess. I think I needed last night. To make sure I didn’t still love him. To see what it would be like. I'm glad it happened for my sake, but not for the same reason he is glad it happened. I hope he gets over it fast.”

  “I don’t think you are easy to get over, Helen. I don’t think he ever truly will let you go.”

  I sighed and hugged Phillip around the waist. “I hope you’re wrong.”

  “So, how about some dinner? Or we could spar?”

  The great thing about the battle cruisers is they have so much room. Sparing rooms, workout rooms, cafeterias, meeting rooms, and lots of accommodations.

  “Let’s get something to eat. I’m so bored, I’m hungry.”

  He laughed and we walked down the hall to the nearest food, arms around each other.

  “You know, that kind of eating leads to weight gain.”

  I shrugged. “We are all either going to die or we are going retire after this. I can afford five more pounds. I think I’ve lost that much or more this past week.”

  “Not enough R&R.”

  I nodded. “You owe me a trip to Paris.”

  “As soon as the mission is done, we can visit my home there.”

  I leaned my head on his shoulder and sighed. “Good. I need a vacation, and a weeklong nap. You don’t mind if I hire you for bodyguard duties while there, do you?”

  He shook his head.

  “I’ll do it for free.”

  “What a gentleman.”

  He laughed and pulled out a chair, grabbing food, and sitting down next to me, telling me how beautiful the French countryside was this time of year. It occurred to me halfway through the meal that he thought it was beautiful anytime of the year, so his opinion was moot. Still, I smiled and listened, actually relishing in the thought of some relaxing once this was finally over.

  Phillip was walking me back to my room when I took a turn.

  “Let’s explore.”

  He raised his eyebrows but smiled, so he couldn’t think I was insanely nuts, just the regular kind of Helen-crazy.

  “We’ve been on these ships before.”

  I shrugged. “I bet this one has a secret room. Or we could break into the general’s room. How about it?”

  “Sounds fun.”

  I skipped once and grabbed his hand, running quietly through the halls, not letting go and not stopping for breath. When we got outside his room, Phillip cracked the door code and turned off the alarm. We snuck in. The general had taken the commanding officer’s room. It had not just a bedroom and bathroom, but an office too. We heard voices and snuck back to the office to snoop.

  “So, the plan is a success?”

  Who was the general talking to?

  “Yes, sir, but not because of anything we did. She did it all on her own.”

  Was that Missy? Phillip and I looked at each other quickly, before leaning a bit closer. Who were they talking about?

  “Nick?”

  Nick? What about him?

  “He wants off at the nearest planet, sir. I talked him out of it, but it wasn’t easy, sir. He’s staying, but I wouldn’t pair them together, sir.”

  “So, if it wasn’t you that broke them up, what happened?”

  “No idea, sir. All I know is he spent the night in her room the other night and now it’s over, sir.”

  “Do you think this is a trap? That she set this up to happen?”

  “No, sir. Everyone says she’s been emotional, putting her all into this. Making an effort, sir. If she knew the alien fleet was headed to Earth as we speak, I have a feeling we would be headed there instead of the alien home world, sir.”

  Phillip’s hand covered my mouth in time to stop me from screaming a ‘holy shit’. I nodded once and he removed it.

  “So, what are you going to do, sir?”

  “We are going to blow up their planet. Even if they destroy Earth, we will have the fleet on standby; they are at the colonies and can protect them. The aliens can’t get reinforcements if we destroy the planet. The galaxy general approves of the mission either way. I intend to make good on my promise to make sure no more of them leave home ever again.”

  “Yes, sir.”

  We heard walking and prepared to get up and leave.

  “Oh, and Missy.”

  The walking stopped and we listened again, but stayed ready to move when she did.

  “Yes, sir?”

  “If you still wish to pursue him, I will accept your decision. It wasn’t right before, you would have just ended up broken-hearted, and I don’t want that for you. He’s free now and I know how you feel about him.”

  “Sir…”

  “Don’t lie to me. We haven’t spent as much time together as most fathers and daughters, but I do care about you. I don’t want you hurt. I know you well enough to know you care for him. He’s free now, but take into consideration that it may take him awhile to come to grips with that. The best thing you can do is be honest. Let him know he has other options.”

  “Yes, father.”

  She started walking again; we booked ass out of there and ran all the way back to my room, locking ourselves in.

  “Holy shit!”

  I nodded at Phillip. “You can say that again. Missy is the general's daughter… I never saw that coming. And I didn’t know she really had a thing for Nick. Or that the general didn’t want Nick and me together. And I'm completely at a loss as to what to do about this big fat lie he has going on! The planet from which we all originate is about to go up in smoke and we are heading to the alien home world? What do we do?”

  “Well, I thought I covered it all with the holy shit, but thanks for the recap.”

  I rolled my eyes at him and snarled. “Seriously, we now know everyone on Earth is going to die! What about my vacation in Paris?”

  “Postponed?”

  “Phillip!”

  He shrugged. “What can we do? When we come out of super-fast flying, we will be there and be getting shot at by aliens. We don’t have much choice at this point.”

  “Phillip, how can you be so unfeeling!”

  “Because we are killers, Helen, it’s what we do.”

  I crossed my arms and gave him the evil eye. “You always say there’s no place for emotions! You always tell me not to let it get to me! That doing the good things I do to atone for the evils I do is pointless! Yet here you are, here you’ve always been, saying you are fighting to win my heart! What is the truth, Phillip? How do you expect me to give you mine when you don’t have one at all? Can you just this once be honest with me? No joking, no messing around, just the truth!”

  He stood and headed for the door. I quickly moved in front of him and blocked his path.

  “Get out of my way, Helen.”

  “No.”

  “You don’t want to know what I will do if you don’t.”
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br />   “I don’t care. I want the truth. We have always had the rule no asking for information that wasn’t offered. I’m dissolving that rule. We could all die in a few days and I want to know that I got the truth from at least one person on this ship.”

  “So, go find Nick and ask him how he feels about you.”

  Nice try Phillip. “He doesn’t know, so it’s not like he can honestly tell me. He’s more confused than anyone I have ever met. You aren’t confused, you just don’t want to be honest with me.”

  “There's no point, Helen. We are going to die anyway.”

  Uggg! “There is a point, you stupid, egotistical male!”

  “Please! You know that’s not true! No matter what I say, you won’t feel…”

  I cut him off with a kiss. I was a bit shocked myself that I had done it, so Phillip was more than shocked. He didn’t let that stop him from grabbing me and returning the kiss though. He walked backwards to the bed and I refused to let us fall down. I wasn’t sleeping with him just because he was horny and we were going to die. I had already made that mistake and I wasn’t going to again.

  “What? Why are you stopping?”

  “Phillip I want the truth, that’s all.”

  He brushed my loose bangs out of my face and smiled. Apparently burnt bangs weren’t a turn off for him.

  “I’ve loved you since the day I met you, Helen. You walked up to that shooting range full of attitude, told me off and beat my record. I haven’t gotten you out of my mind since that day and I don’t want to.”

  That was all I needed. I kissed him again and let myself be pulled down onto the bed this time. It was a long night. I expected us to be interrupted. The general knew we had spied on him or Missy looking for Nick. Luckily, neither happened. It was, according to my clock, morning before we finally fell asleep.

  Chapter Fourteen (Helen)

  “Do you think anyone noticed I didn’t stay in my room last night?”

  I shrugged as Phillip brushed and braided my hair after our midmorning shower; morning in the loosest interpretation because we weren’t near anything with a sun or gravity, so time ceased to matter. To keep things simple, like scheduling meetings, we had clocks set to the battle academy time.