by L. C. Davis
Of course, it was all a moot point I I went on a killing spree at the grocery store. I wanted his blood so much my fangs ached.
“Oh,” Prentice said, shifting his basket to his left arm so he could shake their hands. “Well, it's nice to meet you both.” He paused, his finger hovering over his lips for a moment before it pointed inquisitively at Sebastian. “Sorry, but have we met?”
“I don't think so,” he said. “I don't hang around the college much.”
Prentice glanced between us. He was acting strangely, even for him, but that was all secondary to the fact that his scent was a mystery begging to be unraveled with teeth. I was clinging to Brendan by that point. At least I could get away with being affectionate with my “brother.”
“You okay, little bro?” asked Brendan. Unlike Sebastian, he hadn't missed my cry for help. “You're looking kind of pale, you want something to drink?”
I nodded in response to his veiled question. “Yeah, that's a good idea.”
“Are you sick?” Prentice frowned. I could see the wheels turning in his eyes. Another few minutes and my charade would be undone, if he even had that long.
“No, it's just my blood sugar. It drops suddenly,” I said. It was only partially a lie and one he was familiar with. Thirst really did make me sick if it was bad enough.
“I should let you go then. I'd love to speak with you alone sometime if you ever want to stop by my office,” he said. “I feel like we never really got closure on your time in my class.”
“That'd be great,” I said, my nails digging into Brendan's arm. I felt awful once the smell of his blood hit the air and I realized what I was doing, but the scent made it easier not to fixate on Prentice's. True thirst was like a notch sliding into a groove. Once I was in that space, I wasn't coming out, and it would be so absurdly easy to let my focus drift for just one second…
“Come on.” Brendan's arm grasped me tighter and he whisked me away from the conversation. To my relief, we were heading towards the doors.
“Your groceries,” I said in a hoarse, surprisingly menacing voice.
“Forget that, Sebastian can take care of it,” said Brendan, all but pushing me out into the parking lot. Once the fresh air hit me it took the edge off Prentice's scent, but it didn't disappear. Not even close. I had never been able to catch a scent so strongly from so far away, not even Victor's.
“Something is wrong,” I said, trembling.
“I know.” He lifted me into his arms and put me in Sebastian's truck. He got in the driver's side after shutting me in. “Alright, tell me what the hell happened in there. You were fine until we met that guy.”
“I don't know,” I said, holding my head in my hands, desperate to find something else to focus on except the scent that threatened to consume all else. “It's everywhere, Brendan.”
He frowned in confusion. “What is?”
“His blood. I can't even breathe without tasting it,” I said, feeling my face contort into an involuntary snarl. “I want it.”
“Whoa, easy. Your nails,” he said, pulling my hands away from my legs. I only realized then that my nails had been digging into my own flesh.
“Please,” I said, turning to him in desperation. “You have to get me out of here.”
He hesitated, glancing back at the store. “I could leave my keys in the car for Sebastian, I guess, but I don't want you flipping out on the road.” He watched me closely and his look of concern intensified. “You need to bite me.”
“What?”
“Yeah, come on,” he said, pushing my seat back. It dropped swiftly and all the blood rushed to my head as I fell back with it.
“We're in a grocery store parking lot.”
“The windows are black,” he said, reaching into Sebastian's glove compartment. “Anyway, we're practically in the woods.” He pulled out a big foil sun visor and stretched it across the windshield until the cabin became dark.
“I can't bite you,” I said, starting to come to my senses at least somewhat. It was still a second-by-second struggle not to go after Prentice, but the urgency had ebbed away just a bit.
“You have to bite one of us or you're gonna go after that guy. Once the bloodlust has set in it doesn't matter if we're here or at the Lodge, you'll find him,” he said with unsettling certainty. “The only question is, would you rather bite me or Sebastian?”
It wasn't even a question. “You.”
“Alright then,” he said, climbing on top of me. “Just to make sure anyone who might break in gets the wrong idea,” he smirked.
I leaned up and hesitated at his neck. His pulse was so steady and his blood had a delightfully smoky aroma, like a bonfire. It didn't have the same allure as Victor's, but it was enough to momentarily distract me from the overwhelming desire to rip Prentice's throat out.
“Good boy,” he said, petting my hair affectionately if not romantically. He was keeping his body separate from mine, even if it was only by an inch. “That's it, focus on me. You're not gonna hurt me.”
I wasted no time debating his invitation. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and sank my fangs into his neck. Rich blood flowed over my tongue and down my throat as thick and heady as a pile of woodsmoke. I was breathing it in more than drinking it. The thought of Prentice never once left my mind, but Brendan's blood took the forefront, at least temporarily. It was enough to restore my sanity.
The moment I bit him, Brendan's entire body went stiff and he jolted a little. He stifled a groan and I felt him gripping the seat on either side of me. Even Victor had a hard time not responding physically when I bit him. A vampire's bite was like a siren call to a werewolf, so it said something for his self-control. With that much willpower, I was beginning to see why Brendan was the most highly sought-after doms at the Lodge, second only to Victor and Sebastian themselves.
“Fuck,” he groaned. He shuddered mildly, betraying his struggle. The door swung open and while my mind screamed to abort the mission, my body clung to Brendan, not ready to release the source of my sustenance just yet.
“What the fuck, Brendan?” Sebastian's growl came as a strange relief. It gave me the strength to pull away. Brendan and I stared at each other for a moment, panting and searching for what to do with the moment we had just shared. He quickly climbed off me and returned to Sebastian's seat.
“It was, uh, an emergency,” he said, clearly dazed. He swept his hair away from his forehead and took a slow breath. It took him only a minute to fill Sebastian in on what had happened.
Sebastian looked between us, equal parts furious and confused. I sat up, wiping the last traces of Brendan's blood from the corner of my mouth. “I needed blood. It was either this or a crime scene.”
“Are you okay now?” Brendan asked, starting to come around.
I hesitated. “I still smell him. Can we please get out of here and talk about this at the Lodge?”
“Fine,” muttered Sebastian. He grabbed Brendan's shirt and pulled him out of the car like it was nothing. “I'm taking him.”
Brendan eyed me worriedly. “That alright with you?”
Brendan's blood was still taking the edge off my craving for Prentice's, but the effect was fading fast. “I don't care who takes me, I just need to leave,” I said, leaning forward with my head in my hands. I stared at a receipt on the floor mat as if it were the most interesting object in all the world. It was one of Victor's tricks, finding a focal point to project all the energy and thoughts and thirst onto. Anything to keep the target out of my mind. “Preferably now.”
“I'll go ahead,” said Brendan. “Want me to get one of the holding rooms prepared?”
“No,” said Sebastian.
“Yes,” I said at the same time. “Please.”
“I'll figure something out.” Brendan's voice was further away. Sebastian tossed the windshield cover in the back and pulled out of the parking spot. It seemed like it took us forever to make it out of the lot.
“Can you go any faster?” I asked d
esperately, afraid to look up and break my focus.
“If we get pulled over because I blow through a stop sign, you're gonna be even worse off,” he said, followed by a heavy pause. “Is it really that bad?”
“You have no idea,” I moaned, leaning against the door. I pressed my cheek against the cool glass for some small relief from the burning flush that had crept behind my eyes. Normally I was too cold. Now it felt like I was on fire and the only way to truly cool off was to quench my thirst in the forbidden river flowing underneath my former teacher's skin.
“I don't get it, you were fine before,” he said warily. “You weren't even remotely aggressive and then you got all weird with that Apprentice guy.
“Prentice,” I said, slammed with a fresh wave of desperation triggered by the sound of his name. My fangs burned as they sank into my bottom lip. “Please talk about something else?” I begged.
“Uh, okay. The clerk told me we have like a million gas points that haven't been redeemed,” he said. “So there's that. Or we could talk about how you're fucking my brother.”
Anger broiled in me at his mention of Victor. It edged out the desperation to kill Prentice, if only slightly. “Yes, that,” I said enthusiastically. “Talk about that.”
I could feel his disapproving scowl without looking up. “I'm serious. Being mad at you is helping.”
“Great,” he said dryly. “Fine. What the hell do you want me to say?”
“I don't know, just say whatever you've wanted to get off your chest. Don't hold back.”
He sighed. “Okay, at first I wanted to tell you I thought you were being a heartless whore. I mean, you jumped in bed with him before we could even announce to the pack that we'd broken up.”
“Good,” I said, feeding on the irritation that was building with every word. As my anger towards Sebastian came into focus, Prentice was getting blurrier. “That's perfect. Say more stupid shit like that.”
“I'm glad you think this is funny,” he muttered.
I looked up since I had found a new focal point. “I don't think it's funny. It's just that ever since I became a vampire I've had a hard time feeling anything besides thirst. What I feel when I'm with Victor is strong enough to outweigh it. Same with you, except --”
“Except you love him and you hate me so much that it's enough to overpower the bloodlust,” he said sullenly. “Great. That's what every guy wants to hear.”
“I wouldn't say it's hate exactly, but that's the gist of it,” I admitted. “Sorry.”
“Whatever,” he muttered. “I'd be lying if I said I didn't think about you and Victor for rage fuel when I need to shift.”
“You're being too understanding. Try being more like you were the other night when you convinced me I killed one of my best friends.” The thought alone was sparking anger in my heightened emotional state. It was like everything I hadn't felt was coming out now, all of it directed towards one sinister purpose.
He winced. “I know that was shitty a shitty thing to do, but you walk around acting like some zombie without feelings. I was just trying to figure out if there was any part of the old you left. I had no idea you'd break down like that.”
If I wasn't mistaken, there was a hint of guilt in his voice.
“Neither did I,” I admitted, staring out the window as we passed a serene pasture full of grazing cattle. They seemed blissfully unaware that the metal beasts that passed them everyday housed their greatest predators.
“If I'd had any idea you could still feel like that --”
“Less apologizing, more rage inducing, please.”
“I don't see how this is supposed to help,” he muttered.
“I don't think vampires are completely emotionless. I think we're just usually empty because it makes us better predators,” I admitted, able to feel the tension emanating off of him. “I can feel things, I just don't need to most of the time, so if I can bring those emotions to the surface...”
“You can drown out the thirst,” he said in a low, somber tone. “I get it. I'm just trying to wrap my head around the fact that Victor brings out the good emotions and all I do is piss you off.”
“Sebastian, you've put me through the full range of emotions ever since you marked me, some of which I didn't even know existed,” I said, tapping my nails on the arm rest. “Even if I were human again, anger is the only thing it's safe to feel around you. Victor is safe, dependable.”
“I get it. I fucked up and now he's taken my place.”
I laughed sharply. “You act like he's just a substitute for you. We might have consummated the relationship at the hotel, but I've had feelings for Victor before you and I even met. I just didn't remember.”
He took his eyes off the road and stared me down. “The hotel?”
I froze, realizing my mistake. I had just assumed Victor had told him in one of the many arguments that led up to him avoiding us both entirely. “That --”
“Don't bother making up a lie,” he said sourly. “Guess I shouldn't be surprised it started that soon.” The fact that his knuckles were white around the steering wheel suggested otherwise.
“I'm sorry,” I murmured. “I'm not sorry it happened, but I'm sorry it happened then. And I'm definitely sorry you found out like this. I'm not running on optimal here.”
“There isn't really a good time to find out something like that, is there?”
“Guess not,” I admitted.
He slammed the steering wheel so hard with his fist that I was worried it would break and send us off the road, but he maintained control. “Whatever. Not like it matters now.”
“Why?” I asked warily.
He glanced down at my hand. I stopped tapping, assuming it was the noise that had drawn his attention. “The mark has worn off.”
“What?” I asked, staring down at my hand. It looked as blank as usual, but I knew that meant nothing. Usually only the one who had placed the mark could see it. “That can't be. Ulric said it was permanent.”
“I guess it's only permanent as long as you're in love with the person,” he said hoarsely, clearing his throat as he pulled into the Lodge parking lot. “Obviously you're not.”
I fell silent as we came to a stop, unsure of what to say to that. As much as I hated to admit it, I wasn't even sure if he was right. I unbuckled and reached for the door as it swung open. Sebastian stared down at me with puppy dog eyes I thought I had seen the last of. It was a good thing I didn't have to feel guilt anymore, because that look would have been my undoing.
“I know your heart belongs to my brother now, but at least humor my chivalry,” he said, offering his hand. I hesitated only a moment before taking it, overcome by a rush of nostalgia as his hand closed completely around mine, rough and warm. He put his other hand around my waist and put me gently on the ground.
I was grateful for the shield Brendan's sunglasses provided as I looked up at him and he stared back at me. The déjà vu was overwhelming as I stood pressed between Sebastian and his old truck, conjuring up memories of the very first time he picked me up in it. It seemed bizarre that our relationship had gone from him stalking me on my shifts at the library and all but begging me for a date to us living in the same house and acting like strangers.
No, not strangers. Strangers were at least civil and indifferent. The ride home had made one thing very clear to me. No matter how cold and atrophied my heart became as a vampire, I would never be capable of feeling indifference towards Sebastian. The love between us might have turned to hatred, but it was as strong as ever.
4
“Ahem,” said Brendan. He wasn't even trying to make it sound like a convincing cough. “I'm gonna assume the feeding frenzy has passed since we're gazing forlornly at each other in the parking lot.”
“No one is forlorn, Brendan,” I muttered, shoving past him on my way towards the door.
He laughed and ruffled my hair, easily falling into step with me as I tried to walk ahead. “So, did you love birds patch things up on the
ride?” he asked, draping an arm around my shoulder. “If you wanted some alone time, all you had to do was ask. No need to go all psycho vamp on me.”
I elbowed his ribs to no effect. At least, not one he felt. My funny bone was screaming. “It wasn't an act, and I didn't want to be alone with him. I'm with Victor now, you obviously know that.”
“Yeah, yeah.” He made no effort to hide his disappointment. “I'm just bustin' your chops, but after looking at you two back there, I don't think it's as over as you think it is.”
“Thank you for the unsolicited analysis,” I sighed. “And for the blood. I'm sorry if that was weird back there.”
“What, the orgasm thing? Yeah, can't say I'll be telling my boyfriend about that, but it's fine,” he said, leading us towards the dungeon. “What was that, anyway?”
Brendan had a boyfriend? Well, that explained the constant texting. I wondered why he never came around the Lodge but decided it was probably best not to ask. “It's just something that happens when a werewolf bites a vampire,” I said awkwardly. “We're weaker, so it's probably a distraction technique or something.”
“Huh,” he mused, coming to a stop in front of a room I didn't recognize. He withdrew a heavy ring of keys from his pocket. “I'll have to be a little less efficient next time I fight a vamp. For science.”
“Can we change the subject, please?”
I whirled around to see Sebastian right behind us. He was clearly unenthused.
“You can be eerily silent for someone so huge,” I told him.
He smiled a little, but it didn't meet his eyes. “Brendan, you wanna tell me why we're standing in front of your bondage room?”
“Because we're about to go inside my bondage room, silly,” he said, ushering us in.
I looked around warily at the setup that made Victor's space look like a hobby room. Furniture and shelves upon shelves of rope and leather bondage gear was arranged with a shocking degree of care. “This is getting weird,” I said before the door was closed.
“You need to be restrained, right?” He shrugged. “This is your one-stop shop for all things bondage.”