by L. C. Davis
“She's right,” said Victor. He gave me what had to be the most pathetic attempt at a smile I'd ever seen. “I'm not giving up any time soon. As far as I'm concerned, if that oaf is able to steal your heart, I was doing something horribly wrong anyway.”
“Har-dee-har,” Sebastian grumbled. He grew serious as our eyes met. “He's right about one thing, though. I'm not gonna force you into anything. You know me better than that.”
I sighed, turning to Clara. “And you? Everyone else is set against me. Do you agree with them, too?”
Her cheeks flushed as she realized she'd been caught absorbing the strange drama. “Well,” she said, taking a sip of her tea, “I can think of worse positions to be in than being fought over by two handsome men.”
I threw my head back and groaned. “You're supposed to be the logical one.”
She gave a sheepish shrug and kept sipping her tea. Everyone was staring at me now, awaiting my decision. “Well, don't look at me,” I muttered. “It's not like I have any say in the matter. If you're all so insistent that this is the only way we can appoint an alpha, fine. I'll go along with it, but we're just wasting time. It's going to be Victor.”
“It's settled then,” said Victor. He turned to Sebastian, all but ignoring me. “How are we going to handle this?”
“Well,” said Clara, standing. “I think we'd best let the boys discuss this amongst themselves, don't you?”
“I couldn't agree more,” said Sarah, taking Ulric's arm. “Come along, old man, you can give me a tour of your lovely little sex dungeon.”
“It's my damn study, I can stay if I want to,” Ulric grumbled. Even he was powerless against the women who had taken to pushing him out of the room.
Once they were gone, I collapsed on the couch so I could sulk while Victor and Sebastian worked out a custody arrangement. To my surprise, the exchange was an amiable one. It looked like their truce was still in effect.
“What do you think?” asked Victor. “Should we just trade off?”
“Maybe,” said Sebastian, glancing at me. “Trading off every other day is just gonna stress him out, though.”
“How about three on, three off?” asked Victor.
“Please mommy and daddy, there's no need to fight,” I taunted. “I'll just go with whoever buys me a pony.”
Sebastian smirked. “Well, at least his smart mouth hasn't gone anywhere.” He paused, frowning. “Wait, which one of us is mommy?”
“Obviously you,” said Victor. “You're much more nurturing.”
“Hey!”
“This is ridiculous,” I chimed in. “I know your possessive wolfmen instincts are clouding your judgment, but I'm not a kid or a dog or a fucking plant that needs to be watered, I'm an adult.”
“Three days sounds good,” said Sebastian, going back to ignoring me. “Let's agree that whoever's turn it isn't keeps a low profile.”
“Agreed,” said Victor. “There is the matter of feeding. He needs one bag of human blood every night.”
“I can handle that,” Sebastian muttered.
“Then there's the werewolf blood,” he said. “I can bottle more of mine.”
“I have blood, Victor.”
Victor arched an eyebrow. “And you also have a vampire phobia.”
Sebastian's face reddened severely. “I've been desensitizing myself, alright?”
The thought of him desensitizing himself by allowing some other vampire to feed off of him made me bristle in spite of myself. I fought back a growl and realized that my wolf was definitely back and stronger than ever.
“Whatever you say. Just make sure he doesn't miss a feeding. There's still a vile of my blood in the freezer if you chicken out.”
“That ain't gonna happen,” Sebastian growled. “Him only drinking your blood is probably half the reason he follows you around like a lost puppy anyway. No unfair advantages.”
I laid my head back against the couch and stared up at the ceiling, trying to forget how humiliating it all was. Victor's dungeon tactics had nothing on my lover and my ex negotiating when to feed me. At least there was no danger of romance in all of this.
“Alright, so who goes first?” Sebastian asked once they had hammered out all the other little details and bickered until I was halfway to falling asleep.
“We could flip a coin,” Victor suggested.
Sebastian shrugged, reaching into his pocket. “You call it.”
“Heads.”
Sebastian tossed the coin into the air and caught it on the back of his hand. When he uncovered it, Victor leaned in to confirm the result. “Tails. Sorry, bro.”
“It's fine,” Victor said, infuriatingly calm. Of all the times I wanted him to fight with his brother. “I've got a lot to do over the next few days anyway. Enjoy yourselves.”
Sometimes it was impossible even for me to tell if Victor was being sincere or not.
“I'll at least see you at night, won't I?” I asked, beginning to panic at the idea of being away from him another night.
He shook his head. “That wouldn't be fair. It does raise a good question, though.”
“He can sleep with you on your days,” said Sebastian. “On mine, I'll sleep outside his room. Worked fine last night.”
Victor looked doubtful. “You'd be willing to do that?”
Sebastian shrugged again—sometimes it was hard to tell if it was a tick or just a way to avoid talking unnecessarily. “If that's what he needs.”
“Thank you,” I said before either of them could change their minds.
Sebastian smirked. “I'm not saying I'll refuse if he invites me in.”
“I wouldn't ask you to,” said Victor. “For the duration of the contest, Remus is not bound to me as my mate any more than he is to you. Consider the rules of fidelity suspended, in the dungeon and otherwise. That freedom applies only to him, of course, and only where you're concerned.”
“That's not going to happen!” I snapped. “It's bad enough that you're forcing me to date someone else, I'm not going to sleep with him!”
“I'm not forcing you to do anything except give him a chance,” Victor said, looking directly at me for the first time since our falling out the night before. “It's not like I'm enjoying any of this. Until you fully explore your feelings for Sebastian and until your unconscious mind is made up as firmly as your conscious one, I'm never going to feel safe in our relationship.”
His words struck me violently, but for the first time I understood his motivation. This wasn't about proving my loyalty. He wasn't doing this to me. This was about proving that even if things had gone differently, even if the tables were turned and Sebastian's love was the forbidden fruit, at the end of the day I would still choose Victor.
Taking a deep breath, I forced down a myriad of other objections along with my own reluctance. “Okay, fine with me,” I lied. If he needed me to act like there was an equal chance between them, I would, but my heart was never going to change.
Victor nodded. He held his hand out to Sebastian. “May the best man win, then.”
Sebastian returned the shake firmly. “Indeed, brother. I'll take care of him.”
As Victor backed towards the door, our eyes met for a brief moment. “I know you will. That's the only reason I'm agreeing to this in the first place.”
Before I could call Victor back, Sebastian cleared his throat. “There's just one more thing.”
Victor turned, his hand on the doorknob. “Yes?”
“I uh...” He brought a large hand to his nape. “How exactly do you feed a vampire?”
Victor and I both stared at him for a moment, incredulous.
Sebastian cringed, clearly feeling our judgment. “Hey, I kill them before they get the chance. I'm not good with the hand-holding stuff.”
I breathed a sigh of relief. Looked like Sebastian was going to chicken out after all.
“It's not really something I can tell you how to do, Sebastian.” Victor's eyes danced with amusement as he spoke and just
when I thought I was saved, he added, “Of course, I could always show you.”
21
“We don't have to do this if you're uncomfortable.” Victor's reassurance was directed at Sebastian rather than me. His hand rested on Sebastian's shoulder and I recognized the same shift in demeanor he had shown when taking care of Brendan. There wasn't a hint of mockery or insincerity in his offer.
We were in his dungeon room again, which they had both mystifyingly agreed upon. I was beginning to realize that the dungeon's sterile setting actually put the wolves at ease. It made things somehow less intimate, offered a boundary that ensured that whatever transpired within its walls wouldn't seep into reality.
“I'm fine,” Sebastian growled, shrugging out from under his touch. “Let's just get on with it.”
Victor left his side and grabbed a pair of cuffs off the wall. Sebastian eyed them like they might bite until Victor brought them over to me.
“What are those for?” asked Sebastian.
Victor gave him a look. “I know you haven't taken a client since he showed up, but really? Surely you haven't forgotten what handcuffs are for.”
The larger wolf's face reddened. “I meant, why are you using them on him? He's not dangerous anymore.” It was more of a question than a statement.
“He hasn't fed since both sides of his soul were united,” said Victor. “Nor has he tasted your blood, so I'm not taking any chances until we know how he'll react. Desensitization is only an effective cure for a phobia if it doesn't go horribly wrong.”
Sebastian's Adam's apple bobbed. “Just seems a bit excessive.”
Victor dangled the cuffs off one finger. “If you'd rather do this your way, by all means --”
“No.” He swallowed again. “Just do it.”
Victor turned to me. “Hands behind your back.”
I obeyed immediately, automatically assuming the appropriate posture. “Yes, Master.” I cringed. The words were out of my mouth before I could stop them.
A dark look shadowed Sebastian's features and I didn't miss the rumble that built in his chest. At least he was distracted.
“This time you can call me Victor.” His lips quivered ever so slightly as he fought a smirk and secured my arms behind my back.
I looked between them worriedly. “This isn't going to change anything, right? Our contract is still in effect?”
Victor fell silent.
“Victor, please,” I begged. I had begged for much less in this room and I was perfectly willing to sacrifice my dignity for something so paramount. “This arrangement is bad enough, please don't take that away, too.”
“Our relationship as master and submissive complicates things,” he said carefully. “It could make things more confusing as you make your decision.”
“It's the only thing that makes any of this less confusing,” I cried. Hot tears coursed down my cheeks with ease now. “I need our sessions.”
“We'll talk about it later,” he said. “This isn't the time.”
“No? Certainly seems like you had time to come to a decision without me,” I seethed. A strange vibration built in my chest and it took me a moment to realize that the growl that filled the room was much too high-pitched to be from either of their wolves.
Sebastian and Victor watched me in awe for a moment. “Well,” said Victor, the first to break the silence, “looks like Sarah wasn't lying. The wolf is out.”
“Guess so,” said Sebastian. There was more than a hint of pride in his words as he gazed at me. “Sounds more like a Pomeranian, though.”
I scowled. “I do not,” I said, turning to Victor. “And don't change the subject. If we're not in session and if I'm not allowed to call you my mate, then I can certainly question your decisions when they affect me exclusively.”
He seemed about to argue when Sebastian stepped closer. “Keep up the sessions,” he said in an even tone. “Doesn't matter to me.”
“Are you sure?” Victor asked doubtfully.
“You helped him deal with his trauma while I was still in denial that he had any feelings at all,” said Sebastian, his voice taking on a gravelly tone. “Even if he was marked by me and me alone, I forfeited the right to complain about this when I ran away and left him to deal with it on his own. As long as it helps him, that's all that matters.”
“That's mature of you,” said Victor, considerably less surprised than I was. “If I didn't know better, I'd say my little brother grew up a bit while he was off in Neverland.”
The ghost of a smile passed over Sebastian's lips. “Don't get the wrong idea, Vic. I just don't need whips and chains to make him scream.”
It was the closest thing to words of endearment either of them were capable of and I couldn't have hoped for anything more. Especially not since I was being allowed to continue my sessions with Victor. When I had gone from dreading them to relying on them I couldn't say, but it became clear only when they were going to be taken away just how deeply ingrained that need was. I needed that time in Victor's dungeon room, those moments surrendered entirely to his control and discretion, as much—no, more—than I needed blood or water or the next breath to fill my lungs.
Victor was right about one thing, even if I would never admit it. Our sessions were an advantage and I knew that, all else equal, I could never give them up by choosing another. Not even Sebastian.
“Alright, then,” said Victor, ending the moment between them. “Where do you want him to feed from?”
Sebastian hesitated, looking down at his wrist. “I dunno. The wrist feels less vulnerable.”
It took all I had not to scoff at the idea that I, the scrawny hybrid who was neither full vampire nor wolf and barely even came up to his chest, was capable of making the biggest wolf in the Lodge feel vulnerable.
“I think that's the best choice,” Victor agreed. Gentle, supportive Victor had returned. Sometimes it was hard to keep track of them all and even stranger that he could be so eager to help me feed from another wolf when he had been so furious about my biting Brendan in an emergency. Even the sexual experience we had shared with Brendan felt far less intimate than what was about to transpire.
Not that I was about to complain now that Sebastian had advocated for the continuation of my sessions with Victor. If my time at the Lodge had taught me anything, it was to pick my battles.
“You guys know what happens to wolves when a vampire bites them,” I ventured. “Isn't this going to be a bit awkward with you both in here?”
Sebastian clenched his jaw. “He's right. You can leave.”
Victor watched him for so long it seemed like he was about to. “Is that what you want?” he asked patiently. “Do you want me to leave?”
Another silence hung between them. It didn't take long to realize that they were continuing the conversation without me through their link. I watched, curious as to what they both felt they had to keep from me.
At long last, Victor reached out and took Sebastian's hand, offering it upright to me. Sebastian wore a look of resignation on his face that made it clear they had settled whatever it was between the two of them. Victor wasn't going anywhere.
For the first time since I had set my wolf free, I felt more than just an echo of guilt about something not directly related to Victor. I could feel the nervousness emanating from Sebastian and smell it tinging his blood. The idea that something I was about to do was causing him such distress, even if it was something he was voluntarily subjecting himself to, tore at me more than it should have.
“You don't have to do this, Sebastian,” I said softly. “If you think you need to do this to prove --”
“He's made his decision,” Victor said, giving me a stern look. “Just go easy.”
I dared to hold his gaze for a moment, but even though we weren't in session, the intensity in his gray eyes was enough to ensure that it was a short moment. My eyes darted away instinctively.
Something was different. Before, I could have gazed into Victor's eyes for hours
and felt nothing but love and infatuation. Now I could understand why he made the other wolves so nervous. There was a force behind that stare that my inner wolf read as a challenge at best and menace at worse.
“It's fine, kiddo.” There was doubt in Sebastian's voice, but his smile was genuine. I couldn't help but notice the droplets of moisture gleaming on his forehead or the fact that his heart was going at a steady clip, but his hand didn't waver as he offered me his wrist. “Gotta lose my v-card sometime.”
I couldn't help but smile. Leave it to Sebastian to handle his biggest—and probably his only—fear by making bad jokes.
“It won't hurt,” I promised, determined to make the experience a pleasant one for him if it had to happen. “I can calm you.”
“No,” Victor said quickly. He left it at that.
“I'd rather have my wits about me,” Sebastian said before I could ask for further explanation. He reached out and cupped my face in his hand. It took all the willpower I had not to lean into his touch.
This damn wolf and I were going to have a talk later.
“Go ahead,” said Sebastian, his voice as warm and rough as his touch.
I nodded, realizing that putting it off any further would only prolong his misery. With my hands tied, all I could do was lean down. Victor's hand swept my hair out of the way and I couldn't help but shiver at the touch. My body and my mind were conditioned to react in this place, no matter how inappropriate it was.
My tongue darted across Sebastian's offered wrist and a salty layer of fear coated the rich taste of the flesh I knew so well. His fist clenched tighter as I inhaled the scent of the blood coursing just underneath like streams hidden in the forest. My own heartbeat quickened to the point that I lost track of his.
A beast was rearing up inside of me, but it wasn't the wolf. I knew because it was the same beast that rose every time I was about to feed on Victor, only this time was different. With Victor, the dark creature knew that it could explore and test the limits as it sated its thirst. Even when it had taken over and refused to stop drinking from him, there was always the knowledge that he could stop us if he wanted to. This time it was gentler. It bid me to take our time. To savor.