A Risk Worth Taking

by Zana Bell

  “Yeah, the skiing at Cadrona was fantastic, wasn’t it, but you know, I’m a Treble Cone man. We had one day—powder snow, clear skies. It was fantastic…. This summer? Thought I’d take the yacht up to the Bay of Islands. Maybe go north from there to Whangaroa… Oh, the Evanses, as well? Excellent. We can all meet up.”

  People and places Adam had never heard of, sports he’d never tried. This was so not his world. And there in the center of it was Cressa, vibrant and burning like a flame amid the black suits and dark colors of the women’s dresses. Perfectly at home, yet distinctly her own person. Adam felt foreign—no, alien. This was so not his place, not his people. They were all doctors and lawyers and business moguls. He was just a dropout who had a dream of becoming one of them.

  He took another mouthful of champagne and tried to view them objectively. These were the grown-up version of the kids at school he’d openly derided and secretly feared. The geeks made good. Boys who couldn’t hit a baseball to save themselves now ran companies that employed the guys who’d hit home runs. Girls whose eyes used to follow him down school corridors now checked him out with friendly but detached appraisal.

  Who the hell did he think he was to even contemplate trying to join this elite set? What if everything did work out as planned and he did succeed? Then what? Would he have to learn to talk about opera and skiing and sailing? He was a kid from a trailer park, for crissakes. No, that wasn’t quite fair. Mom would fit right in here. She’d grown up in this sort of world. She’d only left because of Dad. His debts had condemned her to a life outside the one she’d always known.

  Adam sipped his champagne and watched Deirdre laughing with some other women. Mom ought to have friends like that.

  No wonder Deirdre didn’t like him. She thought he could do to Cressa what his dad had done to his mom. Of course, Adam was nothing like him, wasn’t even his son. But if he failed, what then? What the hell would he have to offer someone like Cressa? Steelworkers didn’t belong here.

  He looked over at Brian. He’d have hit home runs and topped his exams. Someone made a comment, and Brian and Cressa laughed at exactly the same moment, then exchanged glances that shouted of a thousand nights together, a history long and deep.

  Feeling eyes on him, Adam turned and caught Deirdre contemplating him. Her gaze locked with his. It was as if she’d read his thoughts as he’d watched Cressa and Brian. They belong, her expression seemed to say, and you don’t. There was no malice in her face. Facts were just facts. She gave a slight nod before turning when a woman at her elbow greeted her.

  Adam looked away and saw Desdemona leaning against a pillar, arms folded against her chest, champagne glass in her hand. Her expression was stormy; her animation had vanished. She was watching Cressa and Brian. It wasn’t surprising. They were the most charismatic couple in the room.

  Adam crossed over to stand next to Des. “It’s a bitch, isn’t it?”

  She glanced up at him, her honey-brown eyes wide. “You know?”

  “Yeah, it’s fairly obvious.”

  “Is it?” She thought about it. “I guess. But my family doesn’t see it.”

  “No, they’ve still got their own story in their heads.”

  She bit her lip, then gave a defiant toss of her tawny curls. “I’m not too young!”

  Adam looked down. She was every man’s fantasy, with her plunging neckline, clinging gold dress, wild hair, inviting lips. Didn’t Brian realize it was all a bid for his attention? “No, you’re not. But…” Adam paused. “You’re still the kid sister.”

  “In some ways I’m older than Cressa,” she argued. “I’ve always known what I wanted.”

  He smiled ruefully. “Then you’re lucky. I’m only just beginning to know what I want.”

  His gaze strayed back to Cressa. Des sipped her champagne, eyes now mischievous over the brim of her glass. She was incredibly dangerous without fully realizing it. “I’m so pleased you guys are together.”

  “For now. It won’t help you much, though. I’m going to be gone soon and Cressa will be sailing off into the sunset.”

  Des tilted her head and looked at him. “That’s a shame. I think you are the best bloke for her, and that’s not just because of Brian. They were all wrong. I can’t believe I’m the only one who can see that.”

  “What makes you think that? They look pretty good together from here.” He hadn’t meant to sound so sour.

  Des glanced over and winced as Brian touched Cressa on her arm to point someone out. Still, Des sounded very definite when she added, “They’re too similar and too different.”

  “Oh, right. Whereas Cressa and I…?”

  Des appeared exasperated and said, as though it were patently obvious, “Are completely different and exactly the same.”

  Adam gave her a slight bow and exaggerated his drawl. “Well, thank you, Miss Desdemona, for that lucid explanation. I can’t think how it escaped me before.”

  They both laughed and Adam saw Brian glance in their direction. For a second he could have sworn he saw irritation on that good-natured face.

  “Don’t give up,” he said to Des. “Brian is more interested in you than he might realize.”

  “Really?” The hope in her face touched him. Her next words touched him more. “Thanks, Adam. You’re the first person who’s ever understood. I feel like I’ve finally got someone on my side.”

  Strangely, he felt the same. She grabbed his arm and tugged. “Come on, we’d better get back to the family.”

  As they joined the group, the Curtises all smiled and Juliet made space for him. “Hey, Adam, Cressa was just telling us about you on the mast. I wish I’d been there to see it.”

  “Did she also tell you I threw up?”

  “Yeah, we heard all about that, too,” Katherine said. “I know exactly how you felt. When the boat is in that greasy, slow roll…” She shuddered. “Such a pity you aren’t staying. Then there’d be two of us begging for shore in those conditions.”

  The conversation roared on, as it did with the Curtises, leaving Adam to muse that if circumstances had been different, if he hadn’t had to return to Texas, if Cressa hadn’t been about to sail away, he could have found a place in this exuberant family. He was surprised by the depth of his regret.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

  THE FAMILY GATHERING after the opera was chaotic and wonderful. Cressa propped a shoulder against the doorjamb of the living room, watching everyone. Dad was deep in conversation with Mike. Brian was helping Deirdre with drinks. Juliet and Katherine had Adam buttonholed, and were no doubt giving him the third degree. Cressa wondered if she should rescue him, but he looked to be doing fine.

  He’d taken off his jacket and tie. Tonight he could have been either an Italian count or a South American bandit, with his combination of dark looks, innate lean elegance and edge of danger. She’d worried about him at the opera—he’d retreated behind his defensive walls. Now he’d reemerged and seemed to be enjoying himself. He said something, and both Katherine and Juliet laughed.

  “He’s a keeper.” Des’s voice behind her made her jump.

  Cross at being caught ogling her date, Cressa replied, “Don’t be ridiculous. He goes back to the States in a few days.”

  “That’s too bad.” Des leaned against the wall.

  “You seemed to be getting on well together at the opera.” Cressa heard an edge in her voice, but Des, who was usually quick to know when she’d annoyed her sisters, surprisingly didn’t appear to notice. Instead, she just smiled.

  “Yeah, it’s impossible not to fall for Adam, isn’t it? When he turns those dark eyes on you…” She gave a theatrical little shiver, and even though Des was kidding, Cressa felt a spark of possessiveness.

  “What were you talking about?”

  Des shrugged. “Nothing special.”

  Was she avoiding the question? Cressa took one look at her sister’s artless expression and knew that she was, but before she could pursue the matter, Portia said, “Budge
out of the way. Cake coming through.”

  They both moved from the doorway, and Portia carried a huge chocolate cake alight with candles to the coffee table. Dad got everyone singing “Happy Birthday,” and Cressa had tears in her eyes when they finished.

  “Oh, you shouldn’t have. But I’m glad you did.”

  Laughter followed and Dad raised his glass. “To Cressa and her wonderful new job. May it lead her on many adventures.”

  Everyone said, “Hear, hear,” and drank to her.

  “Thanks, Dad. Thanks all of you.” Tears brimmed. “I love you all. You’re the world to me.” She raised her own glass to them. “Here’s to the best of parents and sisters and brother-in-law and friends. I’m going to miss you all so much.” With a pang, she realized how true this was. Her family was the weft in the fabric of her life. Of course, once she set sail, the people on the boat would become a new sort of family, even though the turnover in crews could be high, she’d heard.

  Her eyes sought Adam. He was there in the background, the formal attire accentuating his height and not disguising the strength of his shoulders. The smile he sent her across the room and the dark look in his eyes were so intimate that despite her lovely family, she suddenly wanted nothing more than to drag him upstairs to her old room. To where she and Brian used to stay.

  She glanced at her ex-fiancé. He must have witnessed this exchange, because although he smiled at her, the smile had that twist she knew so well. Oh, she so didn’t want to hurt him. Didn’t want the burden of his love. Then that moment was over and the world began moving again. Deirdre pressed a knife into her hand. “Make a wish. Though of course your dream has already come true with this job of yours.”

  Her mother didn’t sound hugely thrilled about the job, but then, she never approved of Cressa’s choices. Still, it was nice of her to have baked a cake.

  Cressa said, “Oh, Mum, I’m too old for that.” But as she poised the knife over the heart of the cake, a wish flared unexpected and urgent. Make me know what truly I want.

  There was laughter and chatter as everyone crowded in to get a piece of cake. Adam insisted Deirdre take a piece before he did, and Cressa was relieved to see Des cross over to Brian and say something that made him laugh. Those two had always shared a special bond. Brian used to say that if he could pick any kid sister in the world, it would be Des. Dad cornered Adam in conversation just as Juliet said to her, “I can see why you like him. He’s gorgeous.”

  Cressa put on a lascivious smile. “Yeah, he’s hot!”

  Juliet nodded. “I’ll say. Oops, better not let Mike hear me.” More seriously she added, “That wasn’t what I meant, though. I mean, he’s actually really nice.” There was a note of surprise in her voice.

  Katherine joined them. “I know—you don’t expect such a great-looking guy to be so sweet.”

  The sisters always muscled in on one another’s conversations. “Sweet?” Juliet wrinkled her nose. “He’s too macho for sweet, but he’s…” she paused, head to one side “…considerate, interested. And that accent.” Juliet sighed. “Like rich chocolate sauce poured slowly over ice cream.”

  “Hey, he’s my boyfriend—keep your mitts off. Though it does give me a few ideas….” They dissolved into peals of laughter.

  “Oh, man, don’t put images into my head,” said Katherine. “I haven’t had any fun since Dirk the Jerk.”

  “Tell me about it. Mike’s night calls at the hospital are beyond a joke.” Juliet sounded rueful. “But seriously, Cressa, Adam’s fabulous.”

  “Yeah, we really enjoyed getting to know him.”

  “So did Des.” There it was again. That edge. Surely Cressa wasn’t jealous of her own sister. She added quickly, “It’s a Walker thing. Alicia has it, too—Southern charm.”

  “It’s more than charm, though—that’s the point,” said Katherine. “Adam really makes you feel he’s listening. He’d make a great lawyer.”

  “Or doctor,” said Juliet. “Wonderful bedside manner. Yeah, he’s really fab, Cressa. Too bad you guys have to separate just when you’ve gotten together.”

  Cressa gazed at Adam and her dad as they chattered away. It really was too bad. Impulsively, she found herself saying, “You know, it’s weird, but I’m really sorry he’s leaving. I’m even kinda sorry this job came up when it did. I’d have liked to know him better.”

  Katherine eyed her. “Wow, that’s quite a change for you. Since Brian, you’ve become an aficionado of the short-term relationship.”

  “It’s probably because you aren’t able to control this relationship the way you usually do,” Juliet offered.

  “What do you mean? I’m not a control freak!”

  Her sisters exchanged looks and snorted with laughter.

  “No insight,” said Juliet.

  “None,” Katherine agreed.

  “Stop cackling and explain.”

  “Cressa, you’ve been in the driver’s seat with every relationship.”

  “Even with Brian,” Juliet interjected.

  “But you both love Brian and think we should get back together,” Cressa stated.

  Her sisters exchanged looks again.

  “We used to,” said Juliet. “I mean, you can’t find a better man than Brian.”

  “But after talking to Adam,” Katherine added, “we can see you guys might be more suited.”

  Cressa shook her head. “Ten minutes’ chat and he has you both eating out his hand. How easy can you get?”

  “Us easy? We’ve been watching you making googly eyes at him all evening. You’ve got it bad, Cressa.”

  “Got what bad?” she demanded.

  “Lo-o-o-ve,” Juliet drew out the word. “You are head over heels, girl.”

  “Rubbish!” She saw them eye one another knowingly. “I’m so not. Not at all, so you can wipe those smirks off your faces.”

  “Methinks she doth protest too much,” said Juliet.

  “Methinks, too,” Katherine agreed, and they went into such paroxysms of laughter that Cressa left them for more sensible, less-annoying company.

  ADAM FOUND DES in a corner, ostensibly choosing a CD but in truth looking glum. She’d already knocked a couple of glasses of wine back way too fast, he’d noticed.

  “Brooding’s not going to help.”

  “I know, but look at him.” She gestured to where Brian and Cressa were chatting. “He’s still besotted.”

  “I’ve been thinking, and you wanna know what?”

  Des was wary. “I’m not sure. Will it hurt?”

  “Only if you don’t take my advice.”

  She heaved a huge sigh. “Go on, then.”

  “You should tell him.”

  Des choked on the wine she was sipping. “’Scuse me?”

  He patted her back. “You heard me. Tell him.”

  “Yeah, right. I sidle up to Brian and tell him I love him. That I always have. Just like that.”

  “Why not? Doesn’t seem your current game plan is working. What is it, by the way?”

  She drew herself up. “I’m making myself indispensable.” Her slight slurring undercut her dignity.

  “Yeah—as a younger sister.” She winced and Adam nodded. “You’ve got to shock him out of his role of big brother.”

  “By telling him I love him. Simple as that.”

  Adam ignored her sarcasm. “Any man would be bowled over to have a gorgeous woman declaring her love.”

  “You think I’m gorgeous?” She batted her eyelashes at him.

  “You know you are, but you can forget using your cute tricks on me. I don’t chase women whose hearts are already given to someone else.”

  She smiled. “Flatterer. But seriously, Adam, your plan sucks. He’ll just laugh at me.”

  Putting his hands on her shoulders, Adam leaned down to peer into her eyes. “He won’t. Trust me.”

  “What if I shock him? It might ruin everything between us.”

  “What if everything between you remains the same forever?
”

  He could see that remark shot home.

  “But what will I say?”

  He smiled. “I may be going out on a limb here, Des, but I’d be surprised if there have been many opportunities where you’ve been at a loss for words.”

  “True.” Her eyes followed Brian. “You’ll think I’m being stupid, but I feel scared.”

  “I’m scared often,” he assured her.

  Des snorted. “Cressa told us what your job really is. You must have nerves of steel.” She looked at him, saw his expression and said, “You’re serious. Go on, then. Tell me what scares you.”

  “The idea of asking your sister to come to Texas with me for a few weeks.”

  “Really? Are you considering it?” Des’s face lit up. “That’s so cool. Oh, Adam, you definitely have to ask her. You guys are so right together. I’m sure she’ll say yes. Is that all you’re frightened about?”

  He hesitated. He wasn’t used to confidences, but he wanted to win Des’s trust. “Just between you and me?”

  “Of course.”

  “I am scared that if she comes, I won’t ever want to let her go.”

  “Oh.” Des eyed Cressa thoughtfully. “That is a problem, especially with the job. She doesn’t like to commit, you know.”

  “Yeah, tell me about it. Still, I think you and I both have to take the risk.”

  “Really?” Des drained her glass as she pondered his words. “Okay. I will if you will.” He smiled at the resolve in her voice, the way she straightened her shoulders. “We’ll risk our hearts together.”

  It was almost like having a kid sister of his own. “You betcha.”

  “Then I’m going to do it now, before I can wimp out.” She handed him her glass and cricked her neck right and left, then wriggled her shoulders the way he’d seen actors do before a scene.

  She took a step, faltered and turned back to him. He smiled encouragingly. “Go on. Good luck.”

  “Will you stay here and watch?” Des asked. “If it looks like it’s going badly, you’ve got to come and rescue me.”