True Blue (Blue Series Book 3)

by Jules Barnard

For over a year, I’ve daydreamed about what it would be like to be Tyler’s girlfriend. If he’d take me to the movies, or if we’d hang out at his house with his mom and the sister he’s told me about. But that’s a fantasy. Tyler would never want me if he knew where I came from and how messed up my past is. We can never be more than we are, except in this one way.

  At least by sharing this, I’ll have a piece of him. This moment.

  “I’m sure. I want you.”

  Chapter Two

  Tyler

  “I want you.”

  That was it—the moment I lost my grasp on rational thought and gave in to what I’ve secretly dreamt of. I’ve been in love with Mira Frasier for years, and she wants me in a way I only imagined in my fantasies.

  I made sure our tutoring sessions ran over when we worked together. She needed help in algebra, but I dragged that shit out, creating any excuse to spend time with her. She ended up acing the freshman course because of the extra time we spent together, which I provided at no additional charge, of course.

  I tutored her in math this year as well, though the advisor said it wasn’t necessary. Didn’t seem prudent to fill Mira in on that point. She could have cancelled our sessions at any time, but I wasn’t going to be the one to suggest it.

  Mira unbuttons the fly of her jeans, and I help her peel them off along with her shoes. We kiss and touch, and all I can think is, How the fuck did I get so lucky?

  She reaches behind to unhook the clasp of her bra, and I put my hand over hers. “I got it.”

  I may have been too chickenshit to ask her out over the last year and a half, but I’m not inexperienced. Well, not entirely.

  I deftly unhook the clasp and pull the silky fabric away, trying not to stare at her breasts. I lean over her until she’s sprawled on the mattress, my body covering hers.

  Jesus, am I crushing her?

  I brace myself higher. I could stare at Mira’s beautiful, tanned curves all night, but I’d rather feel her in my arms beneath me—or above me. I’m not picky. As long as we’re together.

  Mira is the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen, but that’s not why she takes my breath away. I teased her one day. It was out of nowhere. I’m not sure why I did it. She had taped her broken cell phone cover, going so far as to cut out thin strips around the charger outlet. It was cute. I couldn’t help myself.

  “Duct tape iPhones? Is that all the rage?” I said.

  Mira isn’t poor. She lives with that rich kid, Lewis, but after the words left my mouth I wondered if she’d deck me. Mira isn’t the kind of girl you joke around with. She is tough and beautiful. I’ve seen her cut down guys twice her size.

  But Mira didn’t hit me, she laughed. The sound was light, full of life—the kind of laugh I’d raze mountains to hear.

  From that day on, my goal was to get Mira to smile. If I managed a grin, my chest puffed up. If I pulled a full belly laugh out of her, I was riding somewhere in the clouds. But the half-smile—a curve of her lips that hinted at naughtiness—Jesus fucking Christ. The half-smiles heated me from the inside out.

  Those half-smiles are mischievous and sexy as hell, and I’ve never seen her look at anyone else that way. It’s as though she reserves them just for me. My own secret smile.

  I run my lips over her stomach, grazing her upper thigh with my chin and mouth. God, her skin is soft. And the way she smells, like vanilla and some underlying floral scent, along with something else I can’t pinpoint but it has me wanting to plaster my nose to her flesh because I can’t fucking get enough. She’s perfect.

  I have a raging hard-on, but if she wants to stop, I will happily live with blue balls for the rest of my life. As long as I can be close to her.

  My lips brush the inside of her thigh, and her mouth parts, a light, breathy sound escaping.

  Interesting…

  I do it again, this time allowing my lips to linger on her delicate skin.

  She releases another, more guttural moan, sending a blast of heat to my groin.

  I press my dick into the mattress, stifling the need to explode.

  It’s torture, these little needy sounds she’s giving me, but nothing can stop me from doing whatever it takes to make her feel good.

  I move up her body, kissing her above her panties, my arms shaking at the sides of her hips at the restraint it takes not to remove that last bit of fabric and get closer.

  “Tyler…” she says.

  I suck in a breath at the surge of adrenaline the want in her voice drives through me. The need to be inside her is the most intense rush, my heart pounding, every instinct heightened.

  Instead of launching on her the way I’m coiled to do, I slip a finger under the edge of her panties and pause, gauging her expression. She lifts for me and I slowly peel them off. And catch myself staring.

  There is nothing more beautiful than Mira naked.

  I blink and swallow the nerves that have suddenly balled in my throat. I need to at least look like I know what I’m doing.

  Shaking the haze of lust and awe from my brain, I run my palms up her waist to her breasts, where I kiss and lick. If this is all we share, I’ll die a happy man.

  Mira shifts and her legs fall to either side of my waist, cradling my erection through my jeans.

  All thoughts are blotted from existence, except for the need to be as close as humanly possible to her.

  I rub against her center, clenching my teeth at the agonizing warmth and friction. It would feel amazing skin-to-skin…Can’t allow my thoughts to drift there. I’ll explode.

  She grabs my head and kisses me. “Take off your pants,” she breathes near my ear.

  Oh God. She’s going to kill me.

  Is this really happening? Seriously, what is going on? I’m not this lucky.

  Despite my hesitation, I do as she says, because I’m not stupid. Dreamland or not, I’m not missing the opportunity to be with this girl.

  I remove the rest of my clothes and sit on the edge of the bed, watching as she leans over the mattress and pulls a condom out of the back pocket of her jeans. At least one of us knows what they’re doing.

  A spark of irritation flares as I consider that thought. Has she done this with other guys? Recently? She lives with Lewis. And there are rumors about them being together…

  I don’t like thinking about Mira with other guys. Caveman of me, but still. I want to be the only person she gives the half-smile to, or shares her body with.

  She passes me the condom, and there’s a slight tremor in her hands. Is she nervous?

  Maybe she’s not as experienced as she appears. But if she’s not, why initiate something here? At a shitty party with a hundred people downstairs?

  This isn’t how I want our first time to be, but if I walk away, I’ll have to kill myself later.

  I slide on the condom, acting like I’ve done it a million times—or at least once before—and move back to where I was. Because lying on top of Mira, her light-brown eyes gazing at me like I’m her hero, is the only place I want to be.

  The shaking of her hands against my shoulders brings back doubts. “Mira, I—”

  She scoots down, and the head of my dick slips inside her an inch. I groan and instinctively rock forward.

  She squirms.

  Fuck, am I doing it wrong?

  I inch back, and she clutches me. “Don’t stop.”

  Taking a deep breath to calm down, I move forward—slower this time.

  The sensation of her body tightening around me as I ease in and out, deeper with each push, is driving me wild.

  I’m not going to last. Feels so good…“God, Mira.” I love this girl. Love her…

  Unable to wrap my head around what’s happening, I don’t even try. I go by instinct and kiss her mouth, her neck, then pull back and sink all the way until there’s nothing separating us.

  I pause as the most intense sensation sweeps me. The sense of being so totally connected to another human being that nothing will ever be the sam
e.

  Her breath catches and her arms band around me. “More,” she says.

  I kiss her lips, show her with my mouth and hands how much she means to me. Mira’s arms loosen and her breaths increase, a dazed expression crossing her eyes as I lower my head, grazing my lips over her ear and sucking the flesh below it. All the while, my body moves in an instinctive rhythm that has us both panting.

  I’m trying to keep things slow, keep it together, but the need for release is building. Stopping doesn’t seem like a good idea. Not when Mira is making those little noises.

  Our mouths and breaths mingle. Before I know it, the most intense orgasm roils through me, my body locked in waves of pleasure and trembling.

  I brace myself above her for several seconds, gathering air, forcing my mind to work again.

  Mira lies still beneath me. Too still. I kiss her forehead and roll to the side, taking her with me, unable to let her go. She feels so good in my arms. I hold on to her while my heart rate slows to something resembling normal. “You okay?”

  She nods, but her eyes glisten.

  I sit up on one elbow. “Mira?” Shit, after that experience, I’m damn near tears. But I don’t think hers are the same kind. “Are you—”

  She kisses me hard and pulls away, collecting her clothes from the floor. “We better get back.”

  I scramble unsteadily to my feet and wad up the condom in a tissue from the nightstand. I toss it in the trashcan by the bed, and feel around for my pants, which I can’t find because the carpet is dark and I can’t see shit in this light. I glance nervously at her shadowed figure as she dresses faster than I’m able to after what we just did. She seems upset, and that’s not right. I want her to feel as good as I do.

  “Wait—Mira—”

  She grabs something near the door and lurches outside.

  “Fuck.” I finally find my pants under the bed and throw on the rest of my clothes.

  I search for Mira everywhere in the crowded house. I can’t find her. She is gone and no one has seen her.

  It’s as if she never existed.

  As if what happened was a dream.

  Only I’ve never felt horrible after my dreams of Mira.

  ***

  I tried calling Mira after she darted out of the house party. She was never home and didn’t return my calls. I proceeded to freak the fuck out.

  My only option was to go to her house like a stalker. The thought crossed my mind multiple times, but I couldn’t do it. I didn’t want to make her uncomfortable, but I need to talk to her.

  Did I hurt her? People say sex comes naturally, but I doubt everything right now.

  It’s Monday, and I’ve never been so relieved to return to school. As long as Mira doesn’t call in sick, I should be able to track her down. Our high school isn’t the ideal location for this conversation, but I’m getting desperate.

  I arrive early and wait at her locker. Fifteen minutes pass before Mira rounds the corner to the hallway.

  The pressure weighing on me these last two days lifts at the sight of her. I want to grab her and press her to my chest, but then she sees me and my nerves return.

  Mira walks up to her locker. Her gaze cuts briefly to me, shyly touching on my face. “Hi.”

  I had a pretty good idea something was wrong after she left me in the bedroom with my pants down. Now I can’t deny it. It’s written all over her face.

  Making love to Mira was my first time. I don’t feel like it went badly. Yes, she seemed nervous, but the sounds coming from her when I kissed and touched her indicated she was into it. And when we were actually…Well, she had this dazed, sexy-as-hell look on her face, like she really enjoyed that part.

  And believe me, I was paying attention.

  But I wanted her to feel amazing. I wanted our first time to be perfect.

  “Hey,” I say gently. “I tried to call you a bunch of times. Is everything okay? Because the other night—”

  Her face softens as she looks at me, then Holly Walker steps up out of nowhere and squeezes my arm.

  I look back at Mira, but her face is no longer soft and open, and she’s staring at Holly’s hand on me. If it wasn’t so rude, I’d shake off Holly’s grasp. Holly is pretty and popular, and she’s been driving hard to the hoop all year. I’m not into her at all. I made that clear, but she won’t give up.

  The only girl I’ve thought about for the last year and a half is the one standing in front of me with her hands shaking as she switches out books from her locker.

  “So, Mira,” Holly says. “You and Tyler?”

  As far as I know, Holly has never spoken to Mira. Holly keeps to her pack of Tahoe beach club kids. Everyone was at her party Friday night; I wasn’t surprised Mira went too. But Holly approaching Mira at school is a surprise.

  “Heard you walked out of a guest bedroom Friday night with just-fucked hair. Isn’t Lewis your boyfriend? Or are you hooking up with both of them? Oh shit—did you mess around behind Lewis’s back?”

  Mira’s body tenses, the apples of her cheeks going rosy.

  I’m momentarily too startled by Holly’s ugly suggestion to react.

  One of the reasons I never acted on my attraction to Mira is because I was never sure what was going on with her and the guy she lives with. Lewis is a senior like me. Quiet, but always with Mira—when I’m not tutoring her. Mira is friends with Zach too, but Zach gets around. I don’t think Mira has anything other than friendship with Zach. It’s never been clear what she shares with Lewis.

  Mira’s eyes harden as she glares at Holly. “What’s it to you?”

  “Settle down, I’m just curious. The two hottest guys in school? Damn greedy if you ask me. If Tyler was only a hook-up, I want to know. I have plans for him.”

  Mira’s eyes dart to me.

  But I’m too busy mentally rehashing everything I’ve ever heard about Mira and Lewis. And thinking about the other night…Mira came on to me out of nowhere, and darted out of the room…Is Holly right?

  Mira didn’t return my calls. Why the fuck didn’t she call me back? Is she brushing me off? Was she trying to keep what happened a secret?

  There’s a flash of vulnerability on Mira’s face as she searches my eyes. Her head eases back as if she doesn’t like what she sees. She looks away and swings her backpack over her shoulder, closing her locker door. “I wouldn’t know if Tyler’s available. I’m not his keeper. Ask him.”

  Only Holly doesn’t. For some reason, she is determined to corner Mira. “So it was a hook-up?”

  Holly is putting Mira on the spot. I should do something, say something, but doubt fills me.

  “He can see whoever he wants,” Mira says.

  Her words are like a punch to the gut.

  “Awesome.” Holly turns to me. “So what do you think, Tyler? Want to go to prom?”

  Mira storms off.

  What is Holly’s problem? How many times does a guy have to say no? I sweep past Holly and grab Mira’s backpack gently. She stops in the middle of the crowded hallway and turns to me.

  “Looks like you have a prom date,” she says, glancing over my shoulder. “Better not leave her waiting. Answer the poor girl.”

  “Is it true?” I tug at the T-shirt I’m wearing that suddenly feels too tight, too hot. “Was it a hook-up you don’t want anyone knowing about?”

  She swallows, the pulse at her throat hammering. Her eyes go soft again. “I—”

  “’Sup, Mira?” Chad from my varsity soccer team nods to Mira in passing, checking out her ass.

  I’d like to punch him in the face. What’s with the possessive look he’s giving her?

  “Are you sleeping with him too?” I whisper harshly, regretting my words the moment they’re out of my mouth.

  Mira’s jaw drops. She slams it shut and breathes in deep, holding it.

  Fuck. I let Holly mess with my head. “Mira, I didn’t mean—”

  She turns and smiles at Chad.

  My smile.

  The s
ecret, sexy smile she reserves for me. It doesn’t last the way it does when it’s aimed at me, but it’s enough of a flash to make my stomach pitch.

  “Hey, Chad. Wait up?” she says. “I want to ask you a question about prom.”

  Chad stops a few feet away, his eyebrow rising in interest. I glare at him.

  “He’s all yours, Holly,” Mira calls down the hall, her voice shaky, eyes avoiding mine. She turns and loops her arm through Chad’s.

  My head pulses, ready to explode. I watch Mira walk away with Chad, her shoulders strangely curled in, and I can’t move my legs. I don’t know what just happened, if I ruined everything, or if the path was already set.

  Someone slaps me on the back.

  “Rough one, dude,” Jake from my team says, and I stare at his back as he keeps going down the hall.

  Does everybody but me know about Mira and other guys?

  I should say something, do something, but the message is clear. What Mira and I had meant nothing to her.

  I’m the idiot who thought there was more between us.

  Chapter Three

  Mira

  Present day

  A light breeze whips a lock of dark hair straight into my eye, because that’s how my day is going. I rub the sting and glance with my uninjured eye at the trees on the right, then the ones on the left.

  Am I lost? The trunks all look the same. Your basic Tahoe forest range: miles of tall, straight pines, the reddish-brown bark, fissured like puzzle pieces, nearly black in the twilight. It’s getting dark and the overgrown road is sketchy under the best of conditions.

  The cabin my mom lives in is located in the densest forest that’s relatively easy to get to. Which means I have to abandon my beater mini-truck and hike for forty-five minutes along a paved road too overgrown to navigate with a car.

  So tired of this. I should listen to Lewis and stop helping my mom, but I haven’t wanted to lose the last shred of family I have. Now that I’m out here on another fool’s errand to give her money for what I fear might be drugs—though she says no—I regret not doing something sooner about the situation.