True Blue (Blue Series Book 3)

by Jules Barnard

  Mira and I sit there long after the sun has set, until it’s so dark, I realize we had better get back. The road is well lit, but I don’t want to take a chance riding with Mira on my lap in the dark and competing for road space with cars.

  I stand, and without a word, Mira does too. We make it all the way back to the cabin in total silence. It should be awkward, but it isn’t. I lock my bike in the backyard, and meet her inside.

  She looks up shyly. “Thanks. That was nice.”

  “You’re welcome. Any time you want to ride my lap, just let me know.”

  She shakes her head. “You had to go there,” she says, but she’s smiling.

  My lips twitch. “You know who you’re dealing with.”

  Her smile fades. “Do I?”

  I swallow. “Better get back to work.” I head for the dining table.

  “Work?” she says. “Is that what you’ve been doing over there?”

  I scan the textbooks and journal articles I’ve been researching. I needed something to keep me busy once I arrived in Lake Tahoe, but the small project I started has taken on a life of its own. “Yeah, I guess I have. It’s something I’ve been thinking about since I began teaching. Never had the time before, but now…”

  “Now you do, except you’re working at Blue and that must take time away from it.”

  It’s true. I haven’t been able to put as many hours into my project since I started working at Blue, but my job as a security guard is temporary. Soon Mira will move out and it won’t matter if I spend a few hours less on my project. It will still be there waiting for me when she’s gone.

  “Eh, I needed a break from it. This way, I come home and I’m excited to dig in. No big deal.”

  There’s a pause, then, “Thank you, Tyler. For getting the job at Blue.” She walks into her room and closes the door.

  I stare after her for several minutes, wondering what the fuck I’m really doing with her, with my life.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Mira

  “Jaeger, will you blend more Bullfrogs? The girls and I are almost out, and yours taste so much better than mine,” Cali says to her boyfriend.

  We’re at Jaeger’s place, hanging out on his dock in the afternoon sun. The weather is uncharacteristically warm for this time of year, and we’re taking advantage of it in our bathing suits, drinks in hand. Jaeger recently built the dock, and it’s pretty awesome, with custom benches and cushioned lounge chairs. Oh, and it’s huge. There are eight of us now that Nessa has arrived, and we’re sprawled out everywhere.

  I worried when Gen invited me. Zach and Lewis are like brothers, but I hardly know Cali and Jaeger, even though I’m staying at Cali’s place. The last time I saw them all, I’d just had the crap beaten out of me. Not my shining moment. And then there’s Tyler. Strangely, I feel more comfortable around Tyler. The only way I can credit it is our forced living arrangement, and the truce we seem to have formed. We must be getting used to each other…but that’s not right either, because I definitely don’t feel relaxed around him. I’m hyperaware of him.

  “Sure, babe,” Jaeger tells Cali. He sets down his beer and stands, stretching his arms above his head.

  “Wait for it…Wait for it,” Cali whispers to me and Gen as she studies her boyfriend.

  Gen rolls her eyes and shakes her head at me, as if Cali has lost her mind.

  No idea what’s going on. My Bullfrog is full, and so is Cali’s as far as I can tell.

  Cali stares as her boyfriend walks to the stones leading up the shore. His place overlooks the lake, but it’s a hike to get there. Jaeger begins climbing the couple hundred feet to his house.

  “Ahhh,” Cali says, admiring her boyfriend’s ass as he lunges up the rocks. “So, so hot. You think he’ll do it again in a half hour?” she whispers to Gen.

  “Cali,” Gen says, admonishing, humor in her voice.

  Jaeger is tall and muscular. After being around another tall, athletic guy, I see the appeal.

  I steal a glance at Tyler, his light golden chest and smooth skin catching my eye immediately. Tyler is confounding me lately with his supportive side. I can’t figure out why he’s been so nice ever since I imploded on him after my first day of work. He’s reminding me of the Tyler I used to know.

  Tyler is sitting next to Lewis, cringing at his sister’s blatant ass-ogling. Jaeger and Tyler were good friends in high school. So yeah, it must be awkward to have his sister dating his friend.

  “What?” Cali says to Gen. “His ass is the most perfect thing in creation. God put his stamp on that backside. We’re supposed to admire it.”

  “Anyway.” Gen rolls her eyes again and looks at me. “How are things going at the casino?”

  Cali continues watching her boyfriend until he disappears from sight.

  “Things are okay,” I say hesitantly.

  I am grateful for my job at Blue. I’m making more money than I thought possible when I decided to find a better-paying job. Drake is basically gone while he awaits trial, so I don’t worry about him. But something doesn’t feel right at the casino, and I can’t put my finger on it.

  Gen leans forward. “No one’s been mean, have they? I forgot you’d be on a different schedule than Nessa and Zach.”

  I glance at Nessa. She arrived a minute or two ago, but she’s still holding her beach bag, and Zach has her in a bear hug, her feet dangling above the ground. She’s laughing hysterically as he rattles her up and down like a salt shaker.

  “No, it’s fine.” Which is the truth. Guys ogling me while women talk shit is pretty much what I’m used to. Different setting, same situation I dealt with in high school.

  I’ve given up trying to figure out why I cause that reaction in people. I’ve talked to my therapist about it, and she thinks I’m somehow allowing my deepest fears to shine through. It’s that circular thing. I’m worried about being abandoned, so I push people away. Sometimes consciously, sometimes subconsciously. It’s not the case with everyone, but I get this reaction often enough that I’m convinced my therapist is on to something.

  Jaeger returns to the dock and Cali smiles brightly. He walks over with a pitcher of Bullfrog, a lime and vodka drink they all seem to love, and tops off our plastic tumblers. I have to agree—the Bullfrog is pretty fantastic on an Indian summer day. We get a few of these in the fall, but pretty soon it will be too cold for shorts, let alone bathing suits.

  Jaeger leans down and kisses the top of Cali’s head. “I know what you’re up to, and I like it.” He nuzzles her neck, and she squeals. “I’ll be your errand boy all day long if you give me looks like that.”

  I thought I wanted to gag at the loving looks Gen and Lewis shoot each other, but these two are way worse.

  And I am so jealous.

  ***

  Tyler

  I’m trying to not stare at Mira’s body in a bikini, but it isn’t easy. I’m trying even harder not to listen in while she talks to Gen and Cali about work. I’m not going to lie. I worry about her. Which is probably obvious after I dropped everything to get a job at Blue Casino so I could keep an eye on her.

  I’m telling myself this is all to keep her safe so she can move out, but I can’t help thinking I have an interest in this. I don’t want to see her get hurt.

  When Mira’s mom staked out our place the other day, waiting for her until we returned from shopping, I went inside to give them space. There’s a chance I might have overheard their conversation through a window I cracked open while they spoke in the backyard. I’m not happy about what I heard. When her mother called her names and accused her of being selfish, I about flipped my lid. I wanted to rail on that woman, but I kept it together. I have to draw a line at how far I’m willing to go to protect Mira. But it was hard to stand by and not say anything.

  It’s a pretty fucked-up situation. From Mira’s viewpoint, that woman is her mother. I mean, shit, talk about getting screwed in the mom lottery. I’m lucky. I have an awesome mom. And then there’s Mira. Her
mom shouldn’t have had children. But if she hadn’t, Mira wouldn’t be here…

  I’ve completely lost the thread of the conversation between Lewis and Jaeg. I’m nodding, chiming in with an “mm-hmm” now and then, but not paying attention. Mira walked over to the edge of the dock a minute ago, her feet dangling in the water—and that’s my entire focus. Her shoulders are slumped slightly and she has a wistful look on her face. All I can think about is how she might be doing—and our sunset bike ride together last night. Something changed between us yesterday evening and I don’t know what.

  Mira is probably the most intense girl I’ve ever met. I thought I knew her, but now I’m not sure about anything—my feelings most especially.

  I saunter to where she sits, because it’s not something I can control. She’s alone, beautiful, complicated, and—shit, I don’t know why I’m so drawn to her. I just am. It’s like those forces of nature that can’t help their attraction. They glom on to each other whether they like it or not, positive and negative charge, bubbles on surface water, and that’s how it is when Mira is near. She’s the force I can’t resist.

  Lately, I haven’t wanted to resist, which is seriously fucking scary. I don’t want to want her. I know her better now, and I think I was wrong and a jerk for accusing her of sleeping with multiple guys in high school, but that doesn’t mean I trust her.

  Despite this, I go to her, because she is a bubble on the surface, and my bubble wants to rub up and get cozy.

  “Hey,” I say as I sit beside her, knees spread wide over the edge of the dock, lightly touching her leg. A guy needs space. But yeah, I just want to touch her. “Lewis have you convinced about the lake monster?”

  She grins with her mouth, but the power of that smile is in her beautiful eyes, the corners crinkling as she looks out at the lake. “He tell you that story?”

  “No. I overheard Gen tell Cali about it. Sounds like a bunch of crap to get her so scared he could…” She looks over at my pause. “You know.”

  She smiles saucily, and my heart races. She used to grin at me like that when we studied together—the smile I thought was only for me. “I don’t know. Why would a guy try to scare a girl, Tyler?”

  It’s cool. I’m not affected by that sexy look anymore. Okay, that’s a total lie. But at least I can hold it together and not go crazy over her the way I did in high school.

  She knows what I meant. She’s taunting me.

  I lean down until my lips are close to her ear, the scent of her hair branding my senses and stunning my brain for a moment—fucking pheromones. “So that he can touch her…you know, for comfort.”

  Her breath hitches and she swallows, running a hand nervously down her bare leg. My gaze follows, because she’s in a bikini and her body takes my breath away. I’ve tried to avoid looking, with her sitting across the dock, but this close, there’s no chance I won’t stare.

  I realize, after I’ve spoken, that I’ve just defined what happened between us the other day, when she came home from work upset. I had wanted to comfort her. I could have stuck with words, but I didn’t. I touched her, held her. Because that’s the way I want to soothe Mira when she’s distressed. Words aren’t enough.

  “Lewis is full of shit,” she says. “He loves that Ong lake monster story, but he twists it depending on who his audience is.”

  “Are you saying he had ulterior motives?” I can’t hold back the twitch at my lips as I watch her reaction.

  “I don’t know, Tyler. What do you think?” she says sarcastically.

  Hmm, I’m wondering if she thinks I had ulterior motives when I comforted her the other day. And when I asked her to go on the bike ride with me. I didn’t. I truly wanted to make sure she was okay. And spend time with her. I did enjoy touching her, though. “I think I’d rather not talk about my sister’s best friend—who’s like a little sister to me—and her boyfriend hooking up.”

  “I think I’d rather not talk about my brother figure and his girlfriend hooking up.”

  “Now that that’s settled”—I bump her shoulder and she rolls with it, her body straightening and coming to rest just shy of my own—“why are you so pensive over here?”

  Mira sips her girly drink without looking at me. “You don’t want to know.”

  Now I have to know. “Try me anyway.”

  She looks up, her eyes penetrating, and suddenly I’m wondering if she’s right. I don’t want to know. The look on her face is a bit sharklike. “Why’d you return to town?” she asks.

  Definitely should have kept my mouth shut.

  I let out a deep sigh. I’ve not even told Cali what happened in Colorado. Am I seriously going to share this with Mira?

  “Some things went down that I needed to get away from. Clear my head.”

  “Can you be more vague?”

  I frown. Saucy as usual. “I was in a relationship.” My heart constricts just from thinking about Anna and what happened. I can’t believe I’m telling Mira this. Deep down I secretly think Mira is a part of why things were never quite right between me and Anna. Mira stole my ability to love a girl.

  “We were…engaged,” I say.

  Mira’s body tenses beside me. She looks over her shoulder, but the others are engrossed in conversation. “Does Cali—”

  “Cali doesn’t know. No one does. My engagement was a new development. We’d only just decided…Well, anyway. I hadn’t gotten around to telling anyone. Doesn’t matter. It ended soon after.”

  Mira stares at her cup. “Sorry.”

  Am I sorry? I am so fucking sorry for what happened to Anna, but not that our engagement ended, and that’s why I’m a dick. If I’d cared more, loved Anna the way I should have, would things have ended up the way they did?

  “Me too,” I say.

  She studies me, and this time she seems depleted, as if my confession has sucked the life from her.

  I’m feeling hollow myself.

  I want to tell her it’s okay, that I’m okay. But I’m not.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Mira

  Tyler’s confession a week ago that he’d been engaged hit me hard. It’s what I expected when he left our hometown, but again, I wasn’t prepared to hear firsthand about him falling in love with someone else. Realistic or not, I dreamt it would be me he’d declare his undying love to one day. The knowledge that he was prepared to marry another cuts deep, and I’ve been covering the wound through long hours at work and avoiding him at home. Only my long hours at work haven’t been as good for my spirits as I thought they would be.

  This past week at Blue has been a combination of jackassery (on my part) and stress. Hayden said I’d be her assistant in human resources as well as the assistant to the hospitality manager until they found a replacement. Well, Hayden and I have been so busy putting out human resources fires—as we’re both new and learning the ropes—that Hayden only recently sent out an advertisement for the hospitality position. To add to the pressure, Blue is preparing for a large music festival, which has resulted in a boatload of extra work for both of us. In short, I’m a one-woman band, performing two jobs when I don’t know how to do either properly.

  After I graduated from high school, I went straight from the Sallees’ home to living on my own and working hostess and floor jobs at Harrah’s, no office work required. Among the Blue executives, I’m a beginner at everything. I’ve made so many mistakes that even my male coworkers have stopped leering and look at me with pity.

  It’s a sad state of affairs when men stop ogling me like I’m a piece of meat. I mean, I never liked it, but damn.

  I stare at the laminated instructions attached to the printer. I’m just changing out a blank ink cartridge. Easy, right? I can totally do this.

  Awesome. Now I’m giving myself positive affirmations over office equipment.

  My therapist has me saying positive affirmations. Stuff like I am lovable, I am special, I am worthy of loyalty. Supposedly, if I say it enough, it sinks in, and this halo of doo
m I walk around with—that everyone and anyone will leave me—will dissipate and I won’t push people away with my negative vibe. My therapist is quick to state it’s not my fault that these things happen. I had bad luck in the parental department, with the exception of the Sallees, who’ve done their best to make up for what my biological parents lacked. But she says it can’t hurt to build a positive internal dialogue.

  My therapist has some crazy theories, but I like her.

  You know what? Positive affirmation or not, this office shit is intimidating. Like this, for instance. Do not throw used toner cartridge into open flame, as this may cause the remaining toner to ignite. I mean, seriously, what is this—gunpowder?

  Whatever. I can do this. I am capable. I am smart.

  “Open toner replacement cover. Pull toner cartridge out of supply port,” I read aloud.

  Done and done.

  I walk to the supply cabinet and grab the box with the new black toner.

  “Hey.”

  My body jerks and I slap a hand to my chest, glaring at the handsome figure in the doorway. “Holy shit, Tyler. Don’t walk up on a girl like that.”

  He steps into the room. “Why so tense? I’ve been standing here for the last minute watching you talk to yourself.”

  Okay, embarrassing.

  “Don’t you have anything better to do?” I say.

  His lips purse in thought. “Maybe, but this is more entertaining.”

  “Changing printer cartridges is entertaining?”

  “Watching you do it is.”

  I glare at him. “You can leave now.”

  “Nah, I think I’ll stay.” He crosses his arms, his mouth turned up in a grin.

  Awesome. An audience. And Tyler of all people.

  Whatever. It’s just a printer. So what if said printer comes up to my chest and resembles R2-D2? I’ve got this. I read the instructions.

  I open the cartridge box and ignore Tyler in his hot security guard uniform, which has less to do with the uniform and more to do with Tyler’s amazing body filling out the tailored fabric.