This is the End (Book 2): Not Dead Yet

by Lisa Biesiada

  His eyes narrowed at my arm and then my face. “You were bit? How long ago?”

  “Yesterday.” I stood very still, still meeting his gaze and following his heartbeat as best I could for signs that he was about to grab his gun and give me a new body piercing.

  After a moment his gaze softened. I took a deep breath and let my shoulders sag. I hadn’t even realized how tense I’d been until every muscle in my neck creaked from the release of pressure.

  With a single nod of his head he offered me a hand. “Name’s Earl. Glad you got the bastards who did that to you.”

  I took his hand and shook it firmly. “Angie. And thanks for your service, sir.”

  A smile almost cracked that hardass’s face with that one, but instead he just turned and gestured for the others to come out. I watched as a man, a woman, a teenage boy and a really young boy finally came out of the kitchen.

  “This here’s my daughter, Penny, her husband Brian, and my grandsons, Sebastian and John.”

  Penny smiled warmly and came around the sofa, hand out. “It’s so nice to meet you all! It’s been too long since we’ve seen anyone not dead yet.” The four of us took turns shaking the five of their hands, like a weird version of opposing teams shaking hands down a line before a game.

  Penny and Brian appeared late 30’s; Brian tall with dark hair and eyes while Penny wasn’t much taller than me and had a mass of curly light brown hair for a halo. When she smiled, it was the warm, mom kind of smile that lit up her whole face. Seeing the love in her eyes for her family made me want to get up and leave, but instead I just smiled right back.

  Everyone was working on the introductions and small talk while I took stock of the whole family. Earl seemed tough enough, albeit a bit old to have a good chance of survival, Penny and Brian seemed like they kept themselves in good shape and Sebastian was, for lack of better words, a strapping young man. He had his medium brown hair in that messy hipster style and had to be around seventeen. He also looked like a young Johnny Depp, which meant I wasn’t about to let him be alone with Chloe. Ever.

  Looking down at John, a dark little head peeked from behind his mom’s leg and I moaned internally. Fuck, this kid couldn’t be more than 5 or 6; there was no way we could take them with us. Roscoe was enough of a liability but this family would be dead weight without a doubt.

  Penny caught me sizing up John and decided to bring him into the conversation. She turned around and picked him up, holding him to her. “We call him Johnny; he’s 6 and doesn’t talk much.” Johnny stared at me with big, dark brown eyes and for a moment I lost myself. This kid had obviously seen some shit because he was way more sedate than any 6 year old I’d ever seen. Nodding her head towards her eldest, “And we call him Bash for short.”

  I smiled politely. I didn’t know what to say, I’d never been good at social situations. Looking over to Jack, I could see him, Earl and Brian running down the list of how secure the house was, what supplies who had and I tuned out the rest. There was something about seeing that little kid snuggled in his mother’s arms and that welcoming smile on her face that made me want to punch something.

  She put Johnny down, whispered something in his ear and he took off for a room down the hall. Turning back to me, “Angie? Chloe, is it? Would you like to come have some tea?” she headed towards the kitchen and didn’t stop to see if we would follow, knowing we would.

  The kitchen was small but cozy with a little wooden table off to the side and lots of counter space. It was darker than it should’ve been due to the large sheets of plywood covering the windows and back patio door.

  I pulled a chair out at the table and fell into it, exhausted. Chloe sat down next to me and we watched Penny putter around near the stove before bringing over two steaming mugs. She set them down in front of us before bringing one over for herself.

  Sitting down with us, we all passed around the sugar and powdered creamer silently and when I took a sip, I almost spilled the whole thing, it was so hot.

  “So when you said they experimented on you and now you’re different, what does that mean exactly?” I had to hand it to Penny; she was straight to the point.

  “She can hear heartbeats,” Chloe started in excitedly. “She’s also a better shot, faster, stronger and doesn’t need glasses anymore. Plus she got bit and didn’t turn so she must be immune or something.”

  Looking intently into my mug of tea, I felt heat rise into my cheeks and neck. I hated being on display like this, but I supposed that I would need to get used to it. At least for now.

  “Hmm. Well that’s a nasty black eye you have, Angie. Did I hear you say they did…other things too?” Penny’s voice was soothing and soft. She obviously was well versed in how to talk to women who’d been victims of violent crimes, but I didn’t need her pity.

  She looked down and stirred her tea a bit. “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to. Just know that I’m a Physician’s Assistant and if you need anything…preventative… I can help.”

  Her words had my full attention and I looked up. “Do you happen to have any Plan B lying around?” I asked hopefully. I couldn’t think of anything worse than being pregnant at the moment and the fear had been haunting me the whole time.

  Penny nodded her head. “I do, and I’ll give it to you. On one condition.”

  Pulling back from the table, I waited to hear her terms; I knew better than to think that there wouldn’t be something in it for her. “And what’s that?” I asked warily.

  Reaching over, she put her hand on my arm. “Let me give you an exam to make sure you’re really ok.” She said quietly.

  I thought about that for a moment. I had absolutely no desire to be naked and exposed to anyone, let alone a complete stranger, but I was pretty desperate for that pill and trying to get to a pharmacy would likely get someone I cared about killed. I would just have to suck it up.

  “Fine,” I said with a little growl. “But just me and you and I want my people outside the door. Armed.”

  She looked puzzled for a moment, but that was quickly replaced by acceptance. “Deal.”

  The 3 of us sipped our tea for a bit longer in silence while I worked up my nerve. This was going to be hard and painful and shameful and I didn’t want to do it but I owed it to the others to make sure I was in full working order before we continued our journey.

  Draining my cup, I stood up and watched as Chloe and Penny finished their tea and stood up with me. It was now or never while I still had my courage. The 3 of us walked back into the living room to find all the boys comparing weapons and war stories. Jack and Ty looked relaxed so I took that as a good sign. I didn’t miss the way Bash’s eyes lit up when Chloe walked in, but that would be a conversation for another time.

  I stood awkwardly in the door while Penny went over to Brian and leaned down, whispering in his ear. I watched him look to me, then look at her and nod. He leaned over and relayed whatever she had said to Earl and Jack and they all stood. Ty and Bash just sat there with questioning looks on their faces; I could see the hurt on Ty’s face at being left out.

  Jack walked over to me and took my face in his hands. “You sure you’re ok with this?” His worry lines were in full force as he tried to read my expression.

  I shrugged. “I want that morning after pill so if this is how it has to be…” I let my voice trail off and caught the spike in his heartbeat at the thought of what I’d been through. I could feel his anger radiating off him in waves and somehow I found it comforting.

  “I’ll be right outside the door. Say the word and I’ll be in there.”

  Running my fingers over the stubble on his cheeks I tried to smile. “I know.”

  No one said another word as Penny led me to a back bedroom and lit several lanterns in the room and the adjoining bathroom. “We don’t have much water pressure but we’ll clean you up as best we can, ok?” Her smile was so earnest I couldn’t stop the hurt inside. She was a complete stranger and yet she was showing me
more compassion than anyone had ever in my life and thinking about people like her and Jack and the kids made my heart break a little over not finding people like them sooner.

  She walked into the bathroom and started pulling things out of cabinets while talking to me over her shoulder. “Go ahead and remove your clothes and lie down, I’ll try to make this as brief as possible.”

  I turned from her and started to remove my harness, setting it down gently on the chair next to the bed. Kicking my sneakers off, I pulled my dirty tank top off and shrugged out of my pants. Standing there in my bra and panties, the reality of everything kicked in and I suddenly couldn’t breathe.

  Penny walked over and put her hands on my shoulders, looking me in the eye. “It’s ok Angie. No one here is going to hurt you. I just want to make sure you’re ok.”

  I nodded my head and closed my eyes to stave off the tears that were threatening to break free. Reaching around, I unclasped my bra and threw it onto the chair with the rest of my clothes; panties following right after.

  Completely naked now, I climbed onto the end of the bed, pulled a throw blanket she had set out over me and scooted down until my feet were resting on the hope chest at the end of the bed. My eyes were closed, but I could feel her movements in the room.

  I felt the heat of the lanterns she pulled closer to the chest and smelled the antiseptic she had opened.

  “Ok, I’m going to start at the top and work my way down. If it gets to be too much, tell me and we can take a break.” Her voice was gentle and her words were little more than a whisper; it helped.

  She walked to the side of the bed and leaned over my face, poking and prodding at my eye and my nearly healed lip. “How long ago did you say this all happened?”

  “Um, one, maybe two days ago. I was locked in a cell so a clock wasn’t exactly something I had with me.”

  “Astonishing…” Her amazement reminded me of Ian’s when he first looked at me after I’d been beaten. I focused on the smell of apples and cinnamon in the room and tried to banish the image from my mind.

  Neither one of us spoke as she continued down my body, only pulling back the blanket to see what she had to, when she had to. I didn’t need to hear her speak to feel her pulse change rhythms every time she caught sight of one of my scars. Seeing cigar burn patterns on anyone’s belly is enough to freak someone out.

  Penny stood up and pulled the blanket over me. “I’ll be right back,” She said softly before leaving the room. I probably should tell someone about my exciting new Spidey-senses as I could hear everything she said to the people in the hall. Bless her for not giving any information, just a quick order to heat some buckets of water for a bath for me.

  Stepping back in the room, she closed the door behind her and came back over to me. “It won’t be much, but I’ll have a hot bath for you when we’re done.” Again, I almost started to cry I was so grateful at her compassion. She had closed the door to the bathroom and I could hear movement in there, so I knew her orders were being carried out.

  Sitting at my feet, she tapped my legs to scoot down farther. “Ok, I know this is going to be unpleasant, but I’ll make it brief.” I let her push my knees apart and pull the blanket over them, exposing all of me.

  Her gloved hands prodded at what felt like bruises on my inner thighs and the cool sting of antiseptic soon took the place of her fingers. When her hands moved up further, I felt my whole body stiffen and reflexively started to pull away.

  “It’s ok Angie, you’re ok. I’m just looking for damage to the vaginal opening and your cervix.”

  Forcing myself to relax, I scooted down and held my breath as I felt her fingers gently enter me and take a tour. It was tender, but nothing felt too terrible so I must’ve been alright.

  “Were you sodomized?”

  Her words caught me off guard and I looked up at her over my knees and shook my head no.

  She nodded and pulled the blanket back down and pulled the gloves off, throwing them into the trash can next to the bed. “There’s evidence of tearing and some dried blood, but it’s all healed up well.” I looked at her with relief to find her staring at me in wonder. “Your wounds look weeks old but the blood tells a different story. It was bad, I mean, really bad, wasn’t it?”

  I sat up, holding the blanket tightly around my chest and tried to avoid her eyes. “Yeah. Been through worse though, so I’ll live.”

  “Yeah. I can see you’ve been through worse.” I knew she was referring to the various old scars and burns that littered my skin but she was smart enough to not pry. Some ghosts are better left alone.

  We were interrupted by a knock on the bedroom door. “Penny, tub’s ready when you are.” I heard Brian call out.

  “Thanks, hon.” She picked up a little pill and handed it to me with a glass of water. “As promised.”

  I took the pill and swallowed it and the water as fast as I could. I just had to hope it didn’t make me as sick as it did last time, otherwise we’d never get out of here.

  Gesturing to the bathroom, “Your bath is ready and clean towels are in the cabinet. Take as long as you need.” With that, Penny smiled at me and left the room, closing the door behind her.

  I scooped up my pile of clothes and weapons and rushed into the bathroom, making sure both doors to it were shut and locked before dropping the blanket to the ground.

  Before I could stick a foot in the water, a knock on the door had me wrapping the blanket around myself again and sticking my head out into the hall to see Jack’s smiling face.

  “You ok, kitten?” he smiled, but I could feel the barely contained rage under the surface of his words. Penny must have told him about my scars.

  “Yeah I’m fine. And stop calling me kitten,” I mock sneered at him.

  “Fine, killer. I brought you this,” He handed me a clean shirt. “It was the least girly thing I could find in Penny’s closet.” Jack grinned and winked at me before disappearing down the hall.

  I pulled the shirt into the bathroom with me and locked the door again. Holding the shirt open, I almost laughed out loud to see it was a black T-shirt with a black and white picture of Jack’s face on it from one of his movies. So Jack wanted me to walk around wearing his face, did he? Well, the next time I had a chance to grab him something it was going to have really fucking adorable kittens all over it.

  I threw the shirt on the pile with the rest of my clothes and eased myself into the tub. There were only a few inches of water, but it was hot and nothing had ever felt so good in my life. I reached for the soap and started to wash everything. Once I was satisfied there wasn’t any dirt or blood harboring anywhere, I leaned against the edge of the tub with my knees tucked up to my chest and let the tears that had been waiting fall free.

  Chapter 5

  The voices grew louder as I made my way down the hall towards the living room everyone was still camped out in. I had put on the ridiculous shirt Jack had pilfered for me, but was still wearing the same pants. I’d grabbed the last clean set of bra and panties from my bag and tossed the old ones, grateful to be wearing clean clothes. I stopped just shy of the wall’s end and listened for a moment longer.

  Quiet laughter drifted to me from the group as Earl entertained everyone with a story. Leaning against the plaster of the wall, I let that laughter float past me as if it were smoke drifting through the air. I wanted to laugh like that again so desperately that a part of me was terrified I never would. Although to be fair, I’d never been that funny to begin with.

  Rolling my shoulders to ease the sadness, I took a step around the corner until I was standing just inside the room. Glancing around, I could see my little group had settled in quite well and everyone was passing around bottles of water and food rations.

  Stepping further into the room, I knew I’d been spotted as the jovial atmosphere came crashing to a very somber halt. Trying not to let it show how much that affected me, I kept walking and let myself fall in a heap on the floor next to Jack. Without a w
ord, I started to settle in; removing my gun harness and digging around in my bag.

  After watching me for a few moments, they must have collectively decided I was okay and went back to their light chatter. I pulled my brush from my bag and struggled to get the hair tie out of the rat’s nest on my head when Chloe scooted over and sat behind me, taking the brush from my hand.

  Grateful for the help, I tried to ignore the pain of her working the tangles out and accepted a plate of green beans, canned ravioli and rice Brian handed to me.

  “Thanks.” I said softly and took the offering. Brian smiled at me warmly before turning his attention back to the discussion Earl, Penny and Jack were having.

  I looked up in time to see Earl huff before spitting out another wad of tobacco. “I still say it’s better to just head north and keep going until there aren’t any more dead walking.”

  “Dad,” Penny started in a calm pleading voice, putting a hand on his shoulder. “What if they’re right? What if a cure exists? Isn’t it better to try and save the species instead of just ourselves?” she looked down at me for some encouragement, obviously meaning me when she spoke of a cure.

  I stared at her wide eyed through a mouthful of food. I purposely shoveled enough in that my cheeks puffed out so I wouldn’t have to participate in the conversation. If I put my two cents in, we’d be going to the coast.

  My eyes bounced back and forth between Penny and Earl, watching the silent power struggle happening between them. It was touching really, this heartwarming tale of a daughter trying to find her way in the world and the father trying to shield her from its horrors. I bet they’d made a movie about just this situation.

  Chloe must’ve read my mind as she picked that moment to yank hard on my hair, nearly causing me to spit my food out. I turned around and glared at her while trying to swallow and she just smiled sheepishly, shrugged and went back to trying to brush my hair.