Numb

by Isabelle Carey

  "His name is Aidan," I reveal to him. I don't see what Liam's getting at by asking me that, but there's no point in not being honest with him. I feel I can trust him. Mostly. A little part of me is scared that he will forget the promise he made to me the moment he inhales a whiff of the Purge. But I try not to think negatively. He'll still be the same person, just a lot more uptight.

  "How does he move so fast?"

  I shrug. "I have no idea. That Amber Army soldier though. Did you see what he did? He created lightning with his bare hands! How is that possible? It was so weird!"

  "Their suits," Liam replies.

  "I know that. It's still weird."

  "I think your friend, Aidan, used to be an Amber Army soldier," Liam pulls an assumption from out of thin air.

  I scoff. "Nah, I doubt that. If you knew Aidan, you would find it hard to believe he was an Amber Army soldier. Why do you think that?"

  "Because he has abilities like them. The way he moved was unnatural."

  I laugh. "He doesn't have abilities like them. I don't know if you're blind, but he didn't have on one of those ridiculous suits, which apparently is the source of their talents."

  "Maybe it's not the suits that give them their powers," Liam suggested and he sounds so serious that I almost start to believe him. "Not all of the soldiers could produce lightning and how else can you explain how Aidan was able to evade them so easily?"

  "I don't know," is all I got. Maybe Liam's right. But there's no way Aidan would have served the Amber Army, unless he'd done it unwillingly. Still, I find it hard to accept something like that. It would be the equivalent of me becoming a White Agent. I like Liam and all but no thanks. That's a job I won't ever want. "Come on," I tell him. "You need to take the Purge before you come up with other crazy ideas."

  He rises out of the bed and I point at an antique dresser by the window. "There's clothes in there you can change into. You're about Papa Rosenthal's size so you should be able to fit into anything you want."

  "Papa Rosenthal?"

  "One of the owners of this restaurant," I clarify.

  Liam looks around, confused. "Restaurant?"

  "You'll see when you come downstairs," I tell him, exiting the room and closing the door, although I would prefer to watch him change. Just saying.

  I retreat into the nearest bathroom and change into an outfit that Emma brought over for me last night while Liam was still unconscious. She also brought me some makeup and I apply it the best way I can to conceal my true identity. I'm not Lilly by any stretch of the imagination but I do a fairly good job hiding the real Charlotte Tatum. I put back in the green contacts and wear the Olivia Cruz-like purple glasses. I no longer look like her but she wasn't necessarily the look I was going for. I've managed to create a totally original persona, especially when I braid my hair into a single plait.

  I used to braid Abigail's hair all the time and I miss that. Thinking about her reminds me how critical it is that Liam helps me clear my name. It's the only way I can see her again, as well as my father. We have to get inside of BioLife without Aidan's computer assistance, but I don't know how. I hope that Liam has a plan once he's back to normal.

  Again, I don't want him to take the Purge but he has to. This life, the life that I live, is not for him. It's bad enough that he won't arrest me. He's supposed to do that. It's his job. I'm grateful that he hasn't though and I'm grateful for this night spent with him. I don't think we'll ever have the opportunity again.

  I emerge from the restroom and Liam opens the bedroom door at the same time. He smiles at me and I smile back at him. "You had to pick out the dorkiest sweater of all time, didn't you?" I comment, noticing his multi-colored knit-sweater that looks as though someone had tried to combine a rainbow with fabric. "You look like an old man."

  "Do I really?" Liam asks with a chuckle. His laugh is not as unique as Lilly's but I still love it. "It was the best I could find. I thought you would like it."

  "I do," I fib, unable to stop laughing.

  "Yeah right. You don't like it."

  "It kind of fits you," I tell him truthfully.

  "Thanks," he says, "although I know you're lying."

  "Only about the first part," I confirmed.

  I lead him down the hallway towards the stairs. The apartment owned by the Rosenthals is small and old, but it has a certain elegance to it. This is mostly because it's decorated with antique furniture. The place reminds with of an inn with parlor rooms.

  Before we walk down the stairs, I stop Liam by grabbing his hand. He looks at me with interest.

  "I just wanted to say thanks," I tell him. "Thanks for all of your help. I know this is difficult for you, helping a criminal and all."

  "You're welcome," Liam says, staring into my eyes. I want to shy away from him, my heart pitter-pattering madly under his gaze, but I stand firm and return his stare with loving intensity. Kiss him, my mind tells me. By some miracle, you're alone with him, so do it. But my body won't move and I start to feel bad for thinking about taking advantage of him when he's not himself. So, in the end, I chicken out.

  We descend the stairs together and into the empty restaurant, which doesn't open for breakfast until after the morning Purge is dispensed. I guide Liam into the kitchen where I introduce him to Papa Rosenthal and Granny Rosie, who are prepping food for the breakfast rush. Both of them manage to hold themselves together in Liam's presence, even though he doesn't. Liam constantly smiles and asks curious questions. Sigh. I'm going to really miss the Purge-free Liam.

  Granny Rosie pulls me aside just as Liam starts to annoy Papa Rosenthal by bombarding him with inquiries about bisque. "Here you are, Charlotte, a few things to help you on your journey." She hands me a flashlight. "You'll need this for the tunnels, of course, as well as this—" she then gives me a rolled up slip of paper that's extremely larger than loose-leaf.

  "What's this?" I ask curiously, unrolling the paper.

  "An old blueprint of the tunnels," Granny Rosie tells me. I spread the map out on top of one the metal counters to view it in its entirety. "A lot of these places have caved in but if you take this route here—" she points and drags her finger across a centralized path "—then it'll lead you to the hillside exit. It's a ten minute trek and you can stop there to allow Liam to inhale the Purge. When you return to the tunnel, follow it some more until you reach this intersection. Take a right here and this new tunnel will take you all the way into the city. Exit there and you'll be a couple of blocks away from BioLife near the river."

  I thank her and give her a hug when Liam isn't looking. "One more thing," she adds, brandishing something that resembles a metal mouthpiece. I recognize it at once as a mechanical filter. "You don't want to breathe in the Purge, right?"

  I shake my head. "Of course not."

  I pocket the filter and while carrying the flashlight and the blueprint, I follow Granny Rosie into the storeroom, after making Liam come with us and leave Papa Rosenthal alone. I glance back and give Papa Rosenthal a little wave and he glowers at Liam before smiling at me. Then, Granny Rosie unveils the trapdoor with the hidden switch and unlocks it for us. I drop inside and Liam stands there, staring in awe. "What in the world is this?" He wonders curiously.

  "An extra storeroom," I lie to him.

  "Fancy," he comments, eyes wide.

  I click on the flashlight and shove the map into his arms. "Hold on to this," I command him. I head down the stairs, after one last goodbye of a glance at Granny Rosie, and Liam follows me closely like a shadow.

  I'm careful where I point the flashlight beam so that Liam won't see the Rosenthal's wine stash. But when I reach the bottom of the stairs, I find it unnecessary to be careful with the light because all of the barrels and boxes have disappeared. Some of the Free Spirits must have helped them hide the wine somewhere else yesterday afternoon.

  Even with the flashlight, it's really dark down here. My other senses become more attuned to the world around me as we advance through the tunnel. I c
an't even see my own hands but I can hear every single tiny noise. Each sound is louder than it's supposed to be and I start at nearly every whistle of a breeze or squeak of a rat.

  We move in silence. Liam is not very talkative anymore so I assume that he's a little scared, wondering where we are. I remember how to reach the hillside but afterwards I will need to look at the map again at some point. We follow the dark tunnel easy enough and when we finally reach the exit, we find a broken wooden opening that's mostly concealed by grass and rock.

  I squeeze thought the opening first and notice immediately that we're behind the ten-minute schedule. The Purge has already been released and I can see the pink smoke swirling in the air. I fumble in my pocket for the filter that Granny Rosie gave me, trying to hold my breath. Liam emerges behind me and instantly starts inhaling the gas, breathing deeply and welcoming its return.

  I hiss a curse when I drop the filter with trembling fingers. I'm struggling to keep holding my breath, remembering techniques from when I learned how to swim. But this was all a surprise. I didn't have any time to prepare myself.

  I pick up the filter from the grass but before I can jam it into my mouth without even cleaning it, I accidentally inhale.

  The Purge seeps in through my mouth and nose simultaneously. I freeze, standing as stiff as a corpse. I cough in a vain attempt to reject the gas but it's too late.

  I stuff the filter into my mouth and it activates at once, preventing more from entering any of my breathing passageways. Light damage has already been done though. I already feel the false pain as the Purge attempts to recondition me not to feel emotions.

  I fight through the pain, the music in my head helping to distract me as well as the Purge. The meds doesn't understand the music like it does human emotions. It's confused, unsure if it wants to unleash a wrath of concentrated pain or small, controlled doses.

  When it's all over and the gas fades, we return to the tunnel. I keep the filter in my mouth for a little while longer as a precaution after the fact. I glance at Liam. I know he's experiencing the same thing right now. To make it worse, he was already in a lot of pain from his head injury. I'm sure his head is on fire, but he doesn't show it. He doesn't show anything. His face is blank and unreadable. The old Liam is back.

  I want to say something to him but I don't know what to say. So, I just walk with him in silence. We continue through the tunnel but when we reach the intersection Granny Rosie had mentioned, I ask Liam if I could see the map.

  He hands it to me and in the glow from the flashlight, I see that his face is still empty, devoid of all traces of those smiles from earlier. My head starts to pound and my eyes start to water, but I fight back the pain and keep my emotions in the forefront. I unroll the blueprint and press it up against the tunnel wall as though it's a poster. I glance at the path we're taking and recall which direction Granny Rosie said to head at this intersection. I had to see it to remember it.

  When I give the map back to Liam, he finally speaks, "It hurts but I'm in control of my emotions now."

  "That's great," I say, trying to sound positive. I even smile at him but I get nothing in return. I might as well have smiled at the ground.

  We press on silently. I try to think about what to do when we reach BioLife. Liam might have to go in alone. I don't quite look like myself right now but my slight disguise won't trick the scanners.

  "You're wearing those contacts again," Liam notices.

  "I am," I say wearily. I expected him to say more, or at least I hoped he would say more, but he falls silent again. It was wishful thinking to want another compliment about my eyes. Therefore, I add, "You do remember the promise that you made me right?"

  "I do," he replies. "Taking the Purge doesn't impair my memory. I will continue to help you."

  "That's all I needed to hear," I mutter.

  We walk on and when my legs start to tire, we arrive at our second exit point.

  I realize then that we're in a sewer and have been for quite some time now. I hadn't paid attention to the fact that the walls are no longer wooden but metal and that I can hear water dripping from somewhere in the distance. We step outside near the banks of the Utopia River, behind a short waterfall that conceals a cavernous exit. The flowing water cascades loudly, splashing us occasionally. We follow a muddy path up to the streets where commuters are making their way to their various destinations after inhaling the Purge.

  Still, my head hurts.

  I'm starting to think that Liam and I shouldn't chance a visit to BioLife today with the two of us in so much pain. But we have to get this done. We have to find out the truth. We can't put this on hold any longer . . . or can we?

  As we blend in with the pedestrian traffic, I see something that causes me to forget whatever plan I'm trying to concoct for getting us both into Dr. Cato's office. I happen to glance up at a flashing black and white billboard overhead simply because the flickering of its images caught my attention. And I'm glad I did.

  For there, staring back at me is not only my face but also Liam's face. Both visages are definitely visible for the world to see. Beneath our pictures are messages. The words beneath mine read—WANTED for the murder of a Parliament Representative. But what is written underneath Liam's profile shocks me worse than the fact that his picture is on the billboard in the first place—

  WANTED for aiding and abetting the known criminal, Charlotte Tatum.

  Chapter Thirty-Four

  Liam

  I know something is wrong the moment that Charlotte pauses and I run smack into her.

  "Why did—"

  "We need to get out of here right now," Charlotte throws back at me in a whisper. I step back a few paces when I realize that my body was pressed up against hers. "Off the streets and fast."

  "Why do we—"

  "Just move, Liam," she hisses, "and don't look up at the billboard."

  Of course, I look. The Purge is going to work against urges such as curiosity but at the moment, I still experience things like that. Periodically, a jolt of pain tells me not to but I can't stop wanting to feel joy that I'm with Charlotte or feel comfort whenever the wind blows. It'll take another dose or two of the Purge before I'm completely back to normal.

  And there I am—a picture of me on the billboard next to Charlotte. This surprises me and it's definitely not a pleasant one. But then, I view the words beneath my portrait and my jaw literally drops.

  That's not . . . How do they . . . I assumed they would think the worst of my disappearance but never this. After all, it's true but I never imagined they would reach the conclusion that I was actually helping Charlotte. Not me. I'm the youngest White Agent ever. I'm the poster boy for the agency and now I'm . . . well the billboard boy for the agency. Now, I'm branded as a criminal, all because I know that Charlotte is innocent.

  "Liam, come on!" Charlotte hisses again, already advancing into a nearby alley.

  I follow her, focusing on the ground so that no one walking past can get a good glimpse of my face. The billboard has already shifted to another display by the time I stop looking at it, but all it takes is for one person to notice me and we're doomed. Unlike Charlotte, I'm not wearing a disguise.

  We duck into the alley and make our way past a complex of offices. I thought that once we were away from the crowd I would feel better, but now I feel more exposed than before.

  "Where are we going?" I ask Charlotte. She's moving full speed ahead as though she has a plan.

  "There's a couple of pay vidphones in a pavilion near BioLife," she tells me without slowing her stride. "If we can make it there without someone recognizing us, or you in particular, I can call my best friend, Lilly, and she can pick us up. We can retreat to her place and come up with a plan to return another day."

  "Finally, you learn patience," I comment.

  She shoots me a dirty look. "What's that supposed to mean?"

  I shrug before I can prevent myself from hunching my shoulders. "You are very impatient, especiall
y when it comes to doing something for your family. You tend to act quickly like when you infiltrated the orphanage. Granted you succeeded in your escape, but only because I let you go. I always thought that your impetuosity would get you in trouble one day but now you finally seemed to realize your character flaw."

  "So, you've been off the Purge one day and now you're a great judge of character?" She huffs.

  "I've always been a great judge of character," I correct her. "But the Purge prevented me from making assessments like that. If I offended you, I didn't mean to. I'm concerned about your well-being and I only want to help make you a better person."

  "I appreciate it, Liam, but now is not a really good time for that."

  She's right; however, pointing out her impatience was leading me to my next point. "You're right," I tell her. "Now is not a good time . . . to be patient that is. We need into BioLife now. The situation is too dire. Now, that the agency thinks I'm helping you, they will pursue us to the ends of the Earth. We need to obtain Dr. Cato's information now or risk being captured and losing our only lead to helping you clear your name and now my name."

  Charlotte stops walking and stares at me with a bewildered gaze. "I'm so confused," she says. "You lecture me about being impatient but now you're telling me that I should be impatient?"

  "Precisely," I respond, resisting the urge to smile. The shooting pain in my head kind of helps my resistance as well.

  "You are really strange, Liam Cato. I only hope you have a plan."

  And just like that, a plan comes to me. "Actually, I do."

  "Well, I'm all ears," Charlotte tells me and I believe she's implying that she wants to listen to my plan.

  "Let's contact your friend first," I say. "We may need some help."

  Charlotte nods, walking forward once more. We reach the mouth of the alley and she halts, observing the area. "How about you wait here while I run over there to call Lilly?" She points to three pay vidphones, all of which are unoccupied but surrounded by dozens of people moving with the flow of walking traffic. "We don't need to risk you being seen."