Numb

by Isabelle Carey

  I don't know if I feel better knowing that Charlotte made it out of BioLife. If she's on her way here, then she's waltzing right into some kind of twisted trap Lilly has designed for her. What is Lilly trying to accomplish? What does she want with Charlotte and me?

  "Charlotte is your friend," I point out to her, remembering what little Charlotte told me about Lilly during the brief time we spent together. "Why are you doing this, whatever it is that you are doing?"

  "Because Charlotte has something that I need and I have to take it from her and destroy it."

  It doesn't take a genius to figure it all out. "The disk," I say quietly.

  "Correct. I need to know what Dr. Cato found out about us and then I will make it so that information never existed."

  "What are you going to do to Charlotte?" I demand, my voice rising in volume. "Are you going to hurt her?"

  Lilly shakes her head. "Not if she cooperates."

  I stare at her, trying to look deep into her eyes. They're cold and as empty as this room. I don't know if she's telling the truth or not but I opt not to believe her.

  "You're planning to get rid of all traces of the information that my mother discovered. That means getting rid of Charlotte and me. You're not just going to let us walk out of here alive after Charlotte hands over the disk to you. We know too much, especially Charlotte."

  "You're right," Lilly admits. "The two of you know more than you should. But I am not an evil person. The people are work for are not evil people either. If we were, then every criminal who has ever broken the law here would have faced a public stoning. If we were, then SAFE would have been destroyed already. You may not believe me, but I speak the truth. I will not harm a single hair on your head or Charlotte's, as long as she gives me the disk. My company employs some special people who can make the two of you forget everything with a single touch. There's no need to spill valuable blood here. You and Charlotte will both make great additions to our team."

  The way she speaks fondly about the company she works for scares me. I also have no intentions of becoming like her and I'm sure that Charlotte will feel the same way.

  "Special people?" I again echo her words. "I find it hard to believe that people can make us forget what we know by touching us."

  "I repeat: There's so much you don't know about Paradise. But you will know everything soon enough and you will help preserve our legacy. We're doing humanity a favor, to make for a smoother transition when it happens."

  "When what happens?" I'm tired of her speaking in riddles.

  "The invasion."

  I give up questioning her. She's more guarded than my mother during Sophia's interrogation. I assume she's referring to the upcoming war between the Core and the rebels. Perhaps her company will be heavily involved with the war. I don't know.

  "So, let me guess: I'm bait." It's not a question; just a statement.

  "Yes, you are." Lilly walks over to me, her heels clicking against the tiled floor. She reaches out a hand and strokes the side of my face. I don't even turn away from her touch. Why does it matter if I look away? I can only move so far and she's going to touch me anyway. I feel something like a mild electric charge flowing through me then. What a peculiar sensation. "It's a shame to see you in this state, defenseless and so vulnerable. You're so handsome and it pained me deeply when I had to do this to you." She stares straight into my eyes. "I can't wait for you to be completely Purge free. Your eyes will sparkle amazingly." Then, she does something totally unexpected that I wished afterwards that I had turned away from her.

  Before I know what's going on, Lilly drops to a squatting position, leans forward, and kisses me gently on the lips. It only last for a couple of seconds, my lips pressed together against hers, but it's enough to disgust me.

  When she pulls away, she stares at me some more. "If Charlotte doesn't cooperate when she's sees you like this, then she never deserved you in the first place. If I have to . . . put her down, I promise that your life will be spared. You and I will be good together." She rises slowly. "I must leave you now," she informs me. "I won't be gone too long but I have to make the final preparations for Charlotte's arrival. The stage is almost set." She glances back at me. "You stay put now, my love. I'll be back for you before too long."

  She smiles and walks away, heading back up the stairs and closing the door leading to them behind her. Seconds later, the lights go dead, submerging me in total darkness. I'm left alone with my thoughts, fearing Charlotte's safety. She trusted Lilly and now Lilly's planning to betray her. It's times like these when I'm most conflicted, when I can see the necessity in the Purge. The old me would have thought the absolute best of the Purge right now, but the new me is different. I now know what it feels like to not take the Purge. Sure, the Purge prevents people from betraying each other, but now I can see the opposite of that as well. People can also prevent themselves from betraying others, even if they don't inhale the Purge. There are good people out there and Charlotte is one of them. She would never betray Lilly if the roles were reversed. Charlotte would never betray me either.

  Well aware of Charlotte's devout loyalty to those she cares about, I know that she will never betray the disk to Lilly. She will die if she doesn't and I have to stop it. I have to save her. But I don't know what the hell to do. Charlotte can't give up that information to Lilly and I can't lose her.

  Think Liam. There has to be something I can do. Time is very important right now. Charlotte can be here at any moment. I don't know long I've been asleep. It feels like hours.

  I'm mad at myself for allowing Lilly to gain the upper hand on me. I shouldn't have gotten into the car. And then, when she touched me, I felt obliged to obey her. Like when she kissed me. I couldn't turn away. It's like she can control me somehow. It sounds outlandish but there's no other way I can describe it. Lilly is one of those special people she spoke about earlier. She was right when she said I don't know what's going on around Paradise. But whatever it is, it can't be good.

  That's why Charlotte can't surrender the disk to Lilly. But if she doesn't, she's as good as dead. Things are not looking good. Not at all.

  Think Liam. Think!

  Chapter Thirty-Seven

  Charlotte

  Currently Listening To: "My Heart" by Paramore

  My escape from BioLife is easier than I expected. In fact, it's a little too easy.

  When I'm ready to exit Dr. Cato's office, I slip out quietly and continue to avoid cameras like Liam suggested. The entire time, my head buzzes with reactions to what I've learned from Dr. Cato's vid. I can't wrap my head around all of it at once, as I am so overwhelmed at the moment, but it all makes sense somehow, as though I was supposed to have known this all along.

  I'm also worried about the guards finding me and I'm shocked that they haven't come for me yet. Maybe Liam is doing a great job keeping them away from me, leading them astray. That makes me hate leaving him behind even more. He's down there risking his neck for me. I wish we had established a place to meet up afterwards. But what does it matter? Something tells me that I won't see Liam ever again. I should just deal with it. Only I can't.

  I have to worry about one thing at a time. I have to get out of this place. There will be time for me to pine over Liam later.

  I don't head back to the elevators. It wouldn't do me any good to take one of them down to the first floor where guards will see me as soon as the doors open. I search for the stairs. If I can find a side exit out of this place, it should be better than trying to waltz my way out of the main doors.

  But there isn't a stairwell over here, so I head back down the main corridor and streak past the elevators. I walk towards the camera I saw earlier and move quickly to stand beneath it when it faces away from me. I look to my left and find a hallway lined with more closed doors. I look to my right and bingo! The door at the end of the hallway leads to stairs.

  I glance up and watch the rotating camera. The moment it turns in the opposite direction, I sprint as fast I c
an down the opposite hallway, tug open the door, and collapse inside, clutching the stitch in my side. The door closes gently behind me and I make sure it's shut. The stairwell is empty. I guess most of the people around here prefer riding the elevators to physical exercise. Now, it's down twenty flights of stairs I go. Not looking forward to it but I don't have much of a choice.

  I move down the steps as quickly as I can after I recover my breath from sprinting. I try not to make too much noise, especially whenever I'm on one of the landings leading to a specific floor. The last thing I want to do is draw any attention to myself.

  Outside, I hear thunder for a second. The sound is barely audible but I'm sure it's thunder. Either it's about to storm or the Zeppelins are on their way. If it's the latter, I hope that all of the people present inside of this building can help shield my vector field for a while. I wonder why the place hasn't been evacuated yet. Maybe the noise I heard isn't Zeppelins. It was too faint for me to be sure.

  Nineteenth floor . . . Eighteenth floor . . . Seventeenth floor . . . Sixteenth floor. Down the stairs I go, the soles of my shoes squeaking across the cement surface. Fifteenth floor . . . Fourteenth floor . . . Thirteenth floor . . . Pause. I halt dead in my tracks. I hear voices coming from below, as well as footsteps. Someone is coming up the steps and it sounds like they're only a couple of floors below me.

  I hesitate. Maybe they'll exit soon if I wait it out. I stand there, listening, but it doesn't sound like they're planning on exiting yet. They're coming up to meet me. They're only one floor below me now. I need to go.

  I shove open the door next to meet and step onto the thirteenth floor of BioLife, hoping it's not crawling with people.

  Gratefully, there's no one in sight. But I hear people moving around behind closed doors, typing or talking or doing whatever else people do around here. I advance down the central corridor swiftly, willing everyone to remain inside of their offices or laboratories. There are cameras everywhere though and it's very difficult to avoid them all.

  I sneak past a swiveling camera above the entrance into a restroom and round a corner. I stop dead in my tracks yet again. Two people in lab coats are walking towards me! They're looking at each other, discussing something or another. But any moment now they'll look up and see me.

  I step back silently and dart into the restroom without much thought.

  Someone is in here too! I hear coughing coming from one of the stalls, as well as the tinkle of urine against porcelain. Panicking, I look around fleetingly. I may not have enough time to enter a stall before whoever is in here exits the one they're occupying. Hiding underneath the sink is out of the question, as is returning to the hallway. The people outside have stopped right next to the restroom to continue they're conversation. Just my luck!

  The toilet flushes and I spot a closed door next to me. I open it softly and throw myself inside, right after I noticed a sign next to the door that read "laundry". I pull the door close to just a crack, leaving enough space for me to peek out without someone seeing me. The stall door opens and when the person emerges from it, that's when I see the urinals across the way. Things just keep getting better and better. Of course I dove into the men's restroom! Nice going, Charlotte.

  I watch the man limp over to one of the sinks to wash his hands. He's extremely tall and stands hunched over, his arms and legs too long to be natural. He also has greasy gray hair and wears a white coat. I recognize him at once. It's Dr. Prescott, my father's doctor.

  I wonder what he's doing on this floor when his office is upstairs. But then I think about it for a moment. He probably just left or is going to visit my dad's room. It's on this floor. I learned that much when I was scouting out the place. I feel hollow when I think about my father and I have to fight the urge to try and see him twice as hard now. I'm so close to him, yet so far away. And it sucks.

  Another person enters the restroom and stalks past my hiding spot. He walks over to Dr. Prescott and strikes up a conversation with a one-word greeting: "Greyson."

  Dr. Prescott eyes the newcomer through boringly dull gray eyes. "Patrick." He turns the faucet off and shake dries his hand before snatching up a couple of paper towels.

  "Charlotte Tatum is running around here somewhere," the guy named Patrick addresses Dr. Prescott. I tense up at the mentioning of my name. "She's probably trying to get to her father but security will catch her soon."

  "She escaped," Dr. Prescott informs Patrick. "Somehow she escaped from here yet again. The cops and White Agents that showed up are leaving. They're going to search the surrounding areas."

  I breathe a sigh of relief, although I'm not completely out of danger yet. If someone finds out I'm still here, then those White Agents and cops will definitely be back in a flash. I silently thank Liam though. He did it. I don't know how but somehow he convinced his colleagues that I was gone quicker than I appeared. I just hope that he's okay, that he avoided trouble himself and got back in the good graces of the agency.

  "She reminds me of the Wanderer," Patrick says. "She's always causing trouble and it's difficult to catch her. If she was any older, I would say she was the Wanderer. But that pesky troublemaker disappeared before she was even born if I remember correctly."

  I'm flattered that Patrick compared me to the Wanderer. I didn't know Purge lovers were good at compliments.

  "Careful Patrick," Dr. Prescott warns, tossing a wad of paper towels into the trash can. "Don't let anyone else hear you talking about that mask-wearing abomination."

  Patrick doesn't say anything else for a while. When he does speak, he shifts to a new topic that still pertains to me I think. "I analyzed the samples from your patient that you sent me. It's a negative."

  Patient? My father? This Patrick guy just mentioned my father maybe.

  "Dr. Cato's notes are extensive but mostly inaccurate," Dr. Prescott says. "We're going to run a few more tests on him before we move him to the other location. If we can't come up with anything, then the program will be terminated."

  I don't like the way he said "terminated", even if his voice was monotone.

  "We're close though," Dr. Prescott comments further. "I've reworked some of Dr. Cato's experiments but the patient isn't doing too well. He may not live to be transferred to the other facility."

  My heart stops beating for a couple of seconds. Then, my hold body goes numb. And lastly, anger starts to flow along with my blood.

  Of course he's not doing well when you still got him taking the stupid Purge! That's what I want to yell at both of them but I remain silent, quivering with rage.

  "We're leaving in ten days," Patrick reminds Dr. Prescott. "He'll make it."

  "We shall see," Dr. Prescott says before turning away from Patrick with a nod of his head and sweeping out of the bathroom.

  Where are they taking my father? If he leaves BioLife, there's a chance that won't know where they've taken him. If I lose him, then I can't rescue him. Worse than that, I won't know if he . . . when he . . . No. He's not going to die. Not if I have anything to do with it.

  Resolved to save my father, I wait until Patrick handles his business (he just had to choose a urinal instead of a stall). When he leaves, I turn and look around. I'm in a small closet-like room. Filthy lab coats cover the floor in piles separated by two colors—blue and white. I dig through one of the white piles, searching for the cleanest of coats; however, all of them are really dirty, covered in stains of God knows what. It takes me a few minutes to find one that's not too bad and as I'm throwing it on over my clothes, I realize that there are clean jackets hanging up nearby.

  I drop the dirty one and grab a clean one that fits. Then, I step out of the laundry room and peek out into the hallway. The coast is clear so I exit the restroom with haste.

  Now, I need to find my father's room and work out some kind of a plan to save him.

  Even in my head it sounds dumb. I can locate my father's room certainly but I'm sure it will be guarded heavily, especially since I was recently spott
ed. Not only that, but my father is valuable to not only Dr. Prescott but the entire island. Of course, there will be guards. Then what? I can't just walk in there and push his bed out of BioLife. This is stupid and I know it, but yet I continue to look for his room.

  I walk past a cluster of scientists and they don't even notice me. With the lab coat, glasses, colored contacts, and makeup job, I'm not recognizable. Everyone thinks I work here. I blend in nicely now. For good measure though, I unbraid my hair and allow it to fall around my face in loose dark brown curls.

  Then, I wonder what I'm doing. As much as I want to, I can't save my father. Not now. I think about what Liam said about my impulsiveness. He was right. I can't keep barging into places just because my family is involved. I care about my father and Abigail more than anything but there are other way of freeing them without risking me being caught. I just need to get out of here and get to Lilly's place. Lilly will help me. She's my friend and Dr. Cato mentioned that she would help. Together, we can spread the truth about Paradise and before I know it, I can have my family back, even Scarlett.

  It all feels like wishful thinking right now but I have to hope it will come true. It's a better plan than what I originally wanted to do at any rate. Besides, I don't even know for sure if Dr. Prescott and Patrick were discussing my father. I have a pretty good idea that they were though and it pains me deeply to have to leave him.

  I return to the stairwell and move down the stairs once more, my body now numb with regret instead of anger. Dr. Cato's notes were wrong, Dr. Prescott mentioned. She probably wrote them before she discovered that an active vector field prevents a person from being diagnosed with Black Death. A crazy idea comes to me suddenly. As much as the Catalyst seems like a scary thing, maybe my father can be cured if his vector is activated. Since Dr. Cato said that adults have vector deficiency, the whole idea sounds impossible but what if it could happen? What if my father is different than other adults? Would I be willing to try something like that on him? It seems inhumane.