I rubbed my palms over my arms. “I know. And I promise I’m not being careless. Which is why I went to Ollie’s place.”
I could fight with the man about going back to his loft until I was blue in the face. But the truth of the matter was, I was thankful. Thankful that he’d somehow known I needed him.
Rynna moved back to the counter. She pressed brew on the coffee machine before she turned around and propped her hip on the counter. “So, you called Ollie, and he came running?”
“Something like that.”
Lily’s brow arched. “What do you mean, something like that?”
I sighed.
It wasn’t like I was surprised that she’d insist on pushing the issue.
I searched for an explanation that wouldn’t cause an uproar. “He . . . he’d stopped by just as I was getting home after the meeting, so he was there when I discovered it.”
Surprise and speculation slashed a bunch of lines across her forehead. I could almost see the cogs turning in that analytical brain of hers. “He just happened to stop by?”
An uncomfortable chuckle rumbled in my chest. “He said he was worried . . . you know . . . since you went and told him I’d bailed on you for drinks when you knew I just needed to study,” I tossed out.
The traitor.
She probably thought she was doing me a favor.
The problem was, she didn’t have the first clue she was throwing me to the wolves.
Her brows lifted. “Um . . . maybe I was worried, too. Since when do you pass up an awesome bottle of wine on my balcony with your best friend?”
“Since I decided to do something with my life.”
“Hey, managing Pepper’s is doing something with your life,” Rynna pouted through a tease.
A light chuckle rumbled out. “Of course, it is.” Turning back to Lily, I cleared my throat. “Correction. Since I decided to do something different with my life.”
Lily pursed her lips “Uh-huh. Okay. So, you’re busy. I get it. That still doesn’t explain Ollie showing up at your place. Are you sure there isn’t anything you want to tell us?” she pushed.
I shook my head. “There’s nothing to tell.”
“You have to admit, things have been super weird between the two of you for the last year.”
She pointed at me to stop me from speaking when my mouth started to flap with another flimsy excuse.
Because things had been incredibly weird between Ollie and me over the last year.
Worse than ever.
I just hadn’t thought she’d noticed.
“Yeah. He showed up, stayed while I dealt with the cops, and then kind of demanded I go home with him since my door was busted in. He said it wasn’t safe for me to stay alone.”
“Since when do you do anything someone tells you to do?”
Since an overbearing, brute of a man decided he wanted to be my defender.
“Have you met Ollie?” I figured that answer would suffice.
“A sleepover at Ollie’s. Sounds to me like you’re begging for trouble.” Rynna’s observation blazed into the air. “There isn’t a whole lot that is simple when it comes to that man.”
My attention darted to her. A sea of unease lapped and churned in my belly. “Ollie and I are old friends.”
Why’d it have to come out sounding like a confession of guilt?
Rynna blushed with whatever thought went racing through her mind, and Lily was looking at me as if she were chipping pieces of me away and labeling each one as evidence.
“That’s all you have to say about it? After you’ve been gushing about that man for all of forever? Dish the goods, lady. God knows you always demand them of me.”
I had gushed.
Telling Lillith I thought Ollie was hot and, if I got the chance, I would chew him up and spit him out. At the time, it had seemed like the best way to explain away the longing looks that lasted just a little too long.
Play it off.
Pretend.
It was what I’d done to make it through.
“Believe me, if I had goods to dish, I’d be spilling because that would indeed be a fun story to tell.” I lumbered through the lie.
At least I got it out.
“The one where he picked me up and dumped me in his guest room, where I slept alone, and then brought me here this morning? Not so much.”
I left out all the million other things that made the situation complicated and so very messy. How I’d woken to hearing him having a nightmare and begging Sydney’s name. How I’d wanted to go to him.
Comfort him.
He’d only made it worse when he’d stumbled out of his room, rumpled from sleep, looking so sexy, I’d wanted to toss every single promise I’d made about him right out the window.
Lillith pointed at me. “Um . . . I call bullshit. I know that salacious mind of yours just went to dirty, dirty places. I demand a confession.”
I shrugged. “The man’s hot, and he was sleeping in the room next to me. Don’t blame me for a fantasy or two.”
Worry pursed Rynna’s mouth. “What do you do now? I’m not sure I like the idea of you going back to your apartment by yourself.”
Lily nodded. “Me, neither. The second you told me what side of town you were moving to, I knew it had trouble written all over it.”
“Okay, Miss Money Bags,” I shot at her.
Her mouth dropped open in offense. “Um, hello. You do remember I had to have Addelaine take me in when I had no place to live. It’s not like I haven’t been penniless before.”
“I’m going to have Rex start looking around for a house that his crew can fix up. It isn’t right that you’re living in that dump by yourself,” Rynna piped in.
And here I thought Lillith was going to be the problem.
Adamantly, my head shook. “There is no way I’m letting you two buy a house for me.”
Rynna carried on as if I hadn’t said a thing. “We’ve been talking about getting some investment properties. Really, it would be a favor to us.”
“Not a chance, Rynna. I’m no charity case. You know me better than that.”
She shook her head as she flipped on the heat lamps in the window. “I do . . . and I know you slave away here at my little restaurant for meager pay. If anyone’s getting charity, it’s me.”
“I think it’s a great idea,” Lillith agreed a little too eagerly. “Maybe Brody can fund it, and together we can get another rejuvenation project going in Gingham Lakes. There are quite a few old neighborhoods that would benefit from one. It’s good for everyone—the community, the economy, the investors. It’s a win-win, really.”
Excitement bounced between the two of them.
“That would be amazing, Rex and Broderick back on a project together.”
“Y’all are out of your minds,” I said with a flippant wave of my hand, turning to start filling the little creamer pitchers. “When I said gimme all the presents, I was thinking along the lines of a gift certificate to A Drop of Hope, or maybe a nice Vicky’s Secret bra, you know, the push-up kind since my boobs are basically non-existent? I didn’t mean a house.”
Lily pursed her lips. “Well, you can’t go back to that hole, and it isn’t like you can stay with Ollie forever. God knows I love him, but that man is a moody bear. He’ll eat you alive.”
That was exactly what I was worried about. I didn’t respond.
“Or has that been your plan all along? Tell me you didn’t go into some dark alley and pay some sketchy-looking guy to bust in your door just so you could sleep in the same house as Ollie.”
“You got me,” I told her, the words scratchy with dry sarcasm.
“Hey, when a woman gets desperate . . .”
She had no idea.
I spun back around and leaned on the far counter, arms across my chest. “I’m not desperate. He’s the one insisting I go back over there tonight. That he doesn’t want me stayin’ alone.”
Lillith widened her eyes. “Are you surprise
d?”
“I guess I am.”
Shocked.
Floored.
Stupefied.
I figured the last thing Ollie wanted was to be in close quarters with me.
“He cares about you,” Rynna said as if it were as plain as the coming day lighting up on the bank of windows that faced the street.
I shook my head. “No. The only thing Ollie cares about is being a savior.”
“Isn’t that the same thing?”
No. Not when it was going to destroy me in the end.
10
Ollie
“Seth, it’s Ollie.”
He blew out a breath on the other end of the line. “Hey, man. Was wondering if you were going to call.”
“You think I wouldn’t?”
I paced the concrete floors of my loft in front of the big bay of windows that overlooked my balcony and the city beyond. I had a view of the river twisting through the buildings as it cut through Gingham Lakes.
My loft took up the entire third floor of the building, Olive’s existing in the bottom two floors besides for the small bit at the back that was my garage.
The main room was open, decorated in dark woods and even darker leathers.
The entire vibe echoed peace.
Too bad I felt none of it.
Seth chuckled a bit, but there wasn’t a whole lot of amusement to it. “Nah. I knew you would. Especially with the way you looked like you were going to lose your mind last night.”
That was the problem.
That was exactly what was happening.
I was losing my mind.
“You want to tell me about this line of bullshit you were feeding Nikki about it being a bunch of kids breaking into her place? Because it sure didn’t look that way to me.”
He sighed, and I could almost see him rocking forward in his office chair at the station to lean his elbows on his desk. “That’s exactly what it could be, Ollie. We see cases like this all the time. But there was something about it that felt purposed. Like someone was trying to send a message.”
My hand curled tighter around my phone. “And what kind of message would that be?”
The sound he made was strained. Like he didn’t know what to offer me. “A warning.”
Anger tightened around me. Chains. Constricting tighter.
“That doesn’t mean that’s what it was. It’s only a hunch.” Silence spun for a second before he continued, “Has she made any enemies lately? Maybe broken up with somebody?”
My teeth gritted.
Because I should know. Should know everything about her. Hold her secrets. Her dreams. Her joy.
I was the one who’d crushed every single one of them.
And I sure as shit shouldn’t be pissed by the idea of there even being someone for her to break up with.
“Not sure. But she’s been interning with a psychologist, helping her run some meetings. She was texting someone last night from there on the ride back to my place. Gut tells me it has something to do with that.”
He exhaled heavily. “Anything happening there is going to be confidential. You can’t get in the middle of that.”
“If it means Nikki’s safety, I can.”
“Ollie,” he warned. “I had you call me because I want you to know what’s going on. To watch for anything out of the ordinary. Not for you to take off hunting like . . .”
He trailed off.
Leaving the rest suspended in the distance between us.
My mind filled in the blank.
Like Sydney.
I’d hounded that station for fourteen years.
They’d labeled it a cold case.
And I’d labeled that bullshit.
If they wouldn’t hunt? I sure as hell would.
“I won’t let anything happen to her, Seth.”
It was my own warning.
A promise.
Because whoever this fucker was?
He was gonna learn I had a message to send, too.
I heard the bedroom door snap open. Hell, I probably didn’t even hear it. More likely, I felt it, the presence stepping out from the far end of the apartment.
That aura she wore was like an additional layer of her skin.
Glittering diamonds and glimmering golds reflecting off the sun.
Swore, I could feel that girl from a mile away.
Bare feet padded on the concrete floor.
That feeling grew stronger and stronger with each step. It’d covered me whole by the time she made her way out into the main living area.
“What are you doing?” she asked.
That sweet voice hit me from ten feet behind. With the way chills went skating across my skin, she might as well have been whispering it in my ear.
I stirred the ground beef I was browning in the skillet, giving her a quick glance over my shoulder, trying not to get wrapped up in her.
Fresh out of the shower after I’d picked her up from work an hour ago and took her back to her apartment to pick up her car.
Now the girl stood there.
Hair wet.
Skin damp.
Expression confused.
Spirit fierce.
That was what always got me more than anything. The way she glowed this unassuming, timid belief, all wrapped up in a wide, bright smile.
“What’s it look like I’m doing?”
“Cooking.” It was pure, horrified concern.
I chuckled a little. “Seems like we’re on the same page then.”
Curiosity drawing her forward, she rounded the tall table surrounded by stools that acted as a partition of the kitchen and living area.
Or maybe it was just me.
Because I could feel the tether.
Pulling, pulling, pulling.
“The question is, why are you cooking? Aren’t you supposed to be downstairs working?”
“Probably.”
She popped her hip on the counter and crossed her arms over her chest.
The stance pushed up her tiny tits, soft mounds of flesh swelling over the neckline of her tight tank. Her olive skin warm, and her innocent face soft, those freckles running across her nose.
No chance could I keep my gaze from dipping from her mouth to that cleft.
My cock stirred and my chest squeezed painfully.
What the hell had I gotten myself into?
Felt like I’d parachuted right behind enemy lines.
Problem was, I had no idea if it was Nikki I was stealing in to rescue or if it was this girl who was going to kill me in the end.
“So why are you up here then?”
“Thought you might be hungry after a long day’s work.”
Or maybe I felt like shit after being such an asshole this morning.
It was a toss up.
Her brow rose, and she tightened her hold across her chest. “I’m a big girl. I think I can feed myself. If I’m staying here, I can’t be interfering with your job. That bar means the world to you.”
So do you.
The thought pierced me like an arrow, sheering straight through me.
I hiked what I hoped looked like an indifferent shoulder, trying to fight off this bullshit feeling I couldn’t shake.
Couldn’t stop the inundation in my mind, though. The idea of what might have happened had she gone back to her place earlier and gotten in the mix of whoever had been there.
My insides clutched.
In pain.
In dread.
Couldn’t stop the assault of images. The horror of someone hurting her.
Stealing her away, too.
I wouldn’t let it happen.
Not again.
Not to her.
And my call with Seth was not sitting well.
“Was hungry and didn’t feel like eating bar food tonight. Thought you might be, too. That’s all. Don’t always get down there first thing. Perks of being the boss.” I shot her a wink with the last, and she was fighting the smile that was twitch
ing across her lips.
“Must be nice,” she said, shifting away and opening the fridge.
She dipped down to peer inside.
My eyes landed on her ass, the girl wearing these tiny black shorts that barely covered her cheeks.
Yeah, so, so nice.
Unbearably nice.
Sweat beaded on my brow, and I beat the attraction back, remembered my mission. Why she was here.
“Want a beer?” she asked, digging through my stash.
“Sure.”
She straightened, two beers in hand. She twisted the cap off the first one, handed it to me, and then opened her own before tilting it toward me.
“Truce?”
Unease wound through me as I stared at her standing in my kitchen.
“Never knew we were at war.”
She laughed a low sound, shaking her head as she glanced at her feet before she peeked up at me. “Don’t pretend we haven’t been fighting something for a long, long time, Ollie.”
I scrubbed a palm over my face and down my beard, searching for an explanation.
Searching for a valid reason for shutting her out.
The truth of why I broke her heart.
Without revealing the part of myself I couldn’t let her have. Not when it belonged to Sydney. Not when I couldn’t be trusted.
“Think we both know you are better off without me.”
A little scoff bled from her mouth. “I couldn’t decide that for myself?”
“You really think so?” It was hard to meet her eyes, but I forced myself to, bringing attention to what I’d done for the first time.
Like a dirty secret kept between us.
“Look what happened the last time I came to you.”
Pain lanced across her face.
I felt it right at the center of me.
Lash. Lash. Lash.
Ones my selfishness had inflicted.
But that was what it always was, wasn’t it?
Selfishness.
Refused to be that way anymore.
For a beat, she looked away, chewing on her bottom lip before she let out a small breath and asked, “Did you need me or were you just using me?”
Hurt leeched out in every word.
Unable to stop myself, I closed the distance between us and took her face between my palms, my voice grit. “I’ve always fucking needed you.”
Lead Me Home: A Fight for Me Stand-Alone Novel Page 7