Promises

by Bailey, Sarah

  “You didn’t have to do that,” I said.

  “I don’t think either of us were paying attention to it anyway.”

  He reached out towards me. My breath caught in my throat as he tucked my hair behind my ear. The light brush of his fingers against my skin sent sparks running down my spine. I almost stopped him retracting his hand. Almost. My earlier thoughts blared in my head.

  James is off limits, Ellie. Off limits!

  No matter how much I liked him nor how my attraction to him was driving me crazy, I couldn’t act on it.

  “Well, should we just drink and talk instead?” I asked.

  Even though I should probably be herding him out of my flat, I didn’t want to. Despite my attraction to him, I enjoyed his company. He made me laugh and never judged anything I said to him. That was a rare quality. To find someone who just accepted who you were.

  “Mmm, we can do unless you really want to watch the end. I mean… they might not end up together.”

  I laughed, shaking my head. It was a rom-com, of course they were going to end up together.

  “Just put it on as background noise.”

  He un-paused it and turned to me with that lopsided smile of his.

  “So I have a funny story about today.”

  “You do?”

  He gave me a nod, his blue eyes twinkling.

  We ended up both laid out on the bed staring at each other as he told me about the nightmare at work due to an incorrect shipment of fabric and how it had almost delayed the new collection. When both bottles of wine were consumed, I was yawning and his eyes were drooping.

  “You can stay if you want,” I mumbled, unzipping my hoodie, throwing it off the bed and crawling under the covers.

  It was late so I didn’t want to kick him out. He opened his eyes, giving me a strange look.

  “I shouldn’t.”

  “Stay and sleep. I don’t mind if you get comfortable.”

  I was too tired to care at that point and the wine made my brain a little hazy. It didn’t matter if we shared a bed. We’d just be sleeping. I could be okay with that.

  “Are you sure?”

  I closed my eyes.

  “Mmmhmm.”

  I felt the bed shift as he moved and the sound of clothes dropping on the floor. The lights turned out as he moved around the room. Then he lifted the covers and I felt him crawl in next to me.

  “Ellie…”

  “Yeah?”

  “Have you done this before?”

  “Done what?”

  “Slept next to someone.”

  “Oh… No. All my masters preferred to sleep alone.”

  At least it meant I usually got uninterrupted sleep. And I needed it after the way some of them treated me.

  “I don’t want to make you uncomfortable again.”

  I could feel the heat of him seeping into me despite the distance. Somehow, it was comforting rather than scary.

  “You’re not,” I whispered. “I feel safe with you.”

  “I’m happy you feel that way.”

  “I’ve never felt safe with someone before. Not even when I was young.”

  I blindly reached out and my hand connected with his t-shirt covered chest. I could feel his heart thundering against my fingertips.

  “Promise me you won’t disappear even if I tell you things that might be hard to hear.”

  His warm hand covered mine, holding it to his chest.

  “I’m not going anywhere.”

  “Promise.”

  “I promise, Ellie. I swear I’m here for you.”

  I sighed, feeling sleep dragging at my senses.

  “Good because I like you, James. I like you a lot.”

  And I could’ve sworn before I drifted off to sleep, I heard him tell me he felt the same way.

  If he likes me as much as I like him, does that mean there’s hope for us yet?

  Chapter Eleven

  James

  My brain felt like mush. I blinked rapidly as I opened my eyes. Where was I?

  Oh shit.

  I’d ended up at Ellie’s. In her bed. I was laying in her fucking bed. Turning my head to the side, I found her next to me with my arm looped around her. Hers was curled around me, her body heat seeping into mine where it was pressed against my side. When had this happened?

  She let out a little moan of distress in her sleep. I brushed her hair out of her face.

  “Shh, you’re okay. I’m here,” I murmured.

  Fuck, this was awkward for me. Here I was, rock hard with the girl I desperately wanted cuddling me in her sleep.

  What time is it?

  I had fucking work today so I was going to have to disturb her at some point to extract myself. Grabbing my phone off her bedside table where I left it, I found it was only five. I didn’t normally get up till seven so I could be in the office by nine.

  I popped the phone back and lay there for a long moment unsure of what to do. Perhaps going back to sleep for a couple of hours would be best. I needed it.

  “No, don’t,” Ellie whimpered. “Stop, please.”

  She clutched me tighter, her whole body going rigid. Was she having a nightmare?

  “Ellie, wake up,” I said gently, stroking her arm.

  “Please, I don’t want to.”

  I shook her a little.

  “Wake up, you’re okay. You’re safe. I’m here.”

  That’s what she said last night. She felt safe with me. Only me apparently. I took that responsibility seriously. I hadn’t planned on trying anything with her. What if she ended up hating me for taking advantage of her?

  I was relatively sure she felt something more for me but it made her nervous. There were too many obstacles in our path. She knew things about me I should’ve never told a girl I wanted. Would Ellie feel like I was substituting her for Avery? I wasn’t. The way I felt about Ellie had nothing to do with my best friend. Honestly, I didn’t think about Avery in a sexual way even though I had memories of the time we were together. With Ellie, I had full on vivid fantasies about her.

  Her soft pink lips trailing down my chest. Her hair wrapped in my fist. Her blue eyes staring up at me with heat, silently begging me as I buried myself inside her wet, hot pussy. And I’d make sure she was wet for me first. Show Ellie sex was pleasurable for both partners and give her the sweetest ecstasy she’d ever known.

  My cock throbbed at my wayward thoughts and I inwardly cursed myself for going there. She was right fucking next to me having a nightmare. I was a prick.

  I stroked her hair, trying to soothe her. I couldn’t exactly turn over and hold her because if she woke up and found my cock pressed into her stomach it would probably freak her out.

  “J…James?” Her voice was thick with sleep and shaky.

  “Yeah?”

  “Am I dreaming?”

  “You seemed to be having a nightmare before but I’m very much real.”

  I looked at her. Her blue eyes were wide and her body trembled against mine.

  “So I’m really holding you right now?” she whispered.

  “I’m afraid so.”

  Instead of moving away, she buried her face in my side and groaned. The noise was fucking cute.

  “You can go back to sleep if you want,” I told her. “Fuck knows I still need some.”

  “What time is it?” she said, voice muffled by my t-shirt.

  “Just after five.”

  “Too early.”

  I chuckled.

  “Go back to sleep.”

  “Mmm, okay.”

  I was a little surprised she didn’t let go. If anything, she snuggled closer into my side and kept her face pressed into me. I closed my eyes, breathing deeply as she mumbled something about me being warm. I pulled the covers higher over us and stroked her hair.

  Even though my body was still coursing with arousal, I found myself drifting off. Having her right there was s
oothing. Like she was meant to lay next to me whilst I fell asleep.

  ***

  I jolted awake as the sound of my phone blaring in my ear made my brain hurt. I fumbled for it and switched off the alarm.

  “Wine is bad,” came a groggy voice next to me.

  I looked over at her with bleary eyes. Ellie’s head was buried under the covers, but she was still pressed right up against me. Despite the slight pounding in my head from drinking last night, waking up with her felt so ridiculously right.

  “I should get up.”

  She shifted, tugging the covers off her head and looking up at me.

  “Did you want me to make you tea or something?”

  I shook my head. What I needed was to get back to my flat to change. I’d sort myself something out on the way to work.

  She didn’t say anything else, just extracted herself from my arm and sat up, rubbing her eyes. Her hair was sticking up in places. I resisted the urge to smooth it down for her.

  I sat up, twisting around and planting my feet on the floor. Raising my arms, I stretched and stood. When I looked back at Ellie, her eyes were wide and roaming across me. Normally I wasn’t particularly self-conscious around women, but with Ellie, I worried. What did she think of me?

  “You okay?” I asked.

  Her face flushed and she met my eyes.

  “Yes,” she squeaked.

  Her hands fisted in the covers.

  “You sure? Was, uh, sleeping with me okay?”

  What the fuck did you just ask her?

  “It was… nice.”

  I knew she realised what I asked could be taken as dirty because she bit her lip. Instead of making this more uncomfortable for her, I left to use the bathroom. When I walked out, I grabbed my jeans off the floor and was about to put them on when she spoke, “You said I was having a nightmare earlier. I wasn’t thrashing around, was I?”

  “Um no, you were talking and whimpering though.”

  “I usually wake up in terror covered in sweat every morning.” She looked up at me. “For the first time in two and a half years, I wasn’t scared. So yeah, having you here was more than okay.”

  The thought of Ellie going through that every night for years made my chest ache.

  “Something really bad happened yesterday,” she continued. “I’m not ready to talk about it, but I want you to know I meant what I said last night… about me feeling safe with you and um… that I like you.”

  I’d never push Ellie into telling me something she wasn’t comfortable revealing, but I couldn’t help wondering what happened.

  “You know I like you too… right?” I like you in ways I shouldn’t.

  She nodded, twisting the covers in her fingers.

  “I need to get going.”

  I felt her eyes on me as I tugged on my jeans before sitting on the end of the bed to put my socks and shoes on. Lastly, I tugged my hoodie on and zipped it up. I didn’t want to leave. Honestly, I wanted to tell her I was ridiculously attracted to her and it was taking everything in me not to act on those feelings and urges. If she felt the same, I’d kiss her before I laid her down and worshipped every inch of her body.

  Fuck I want you so much, Ellie. It’s driving me crazy.

  “I’m kind of busy with the new collection, but if you let me know when you’re not working, I’ll make time to see you.”

  “You don’t have to if you’re busy.”

  I almost shook my head. She was too damn sweet.

  “Ellie, I want to spend time with you. You’re a part of my life now so get used to it.”

  I got a small smile out of her with that statement.

  “Okay,” she whispered.

  “Text me.”

  She nodded. I got up, picked up my phone and let myself out. On the way to my car, my phone buzzed.

  ELLIE: Not working on Sunday. Weather should be nice. Picnic in Hyde Park. My treat.

  I smiled, my heart rate kicking up a notch.

  ME: Let me know what time and I’ll be there.

  ***

  I raked a hand through my hair as I sat at my desk and turned my laptop on. My eyes were fixed on the screen but I wasn’t really seeing anything. All my senses were honed on the memory of Ellie’s body pressed against mine. Her supple curves moulding to me. Her arm wrapped tightly around my chest.

  I wasn’t sure how I held back from turning her face up towards me and kissing her soft, pink lips earlier. Everything about Ellie drew me in. She was utterly intoxicating and I was fucking drowning. One taste would never be enough. One touch couldn’t satisfy this craving. This need deep inside me, clawing its way out like a savage beast rattling its cage.

  I’d never felt this way about anyone before. Not even Avery. And now I knew Ellie wasn’t immune. I’d noticed the way she watched me last night like she couldn’t stop herself looking and every time she did, her ears went pink. She felt the same pull. Our attraction was mutual.

  This was utterly fucking crazy. Where the hell had all my common sense fled to? Ellie wasn’t some girl you took to bed and fucked to get her out of your system. She had broken shards embedded on the inside. She needed kindness and care. To be coaxed out of her shell so she could learn to trust me.

  I certainly couldn’t afford to give in to that dark, disturbing part of me simmering below the surface. The one I’d never acknowledged. The part of me I was now pretty certain I shared with my father and my brother. Dante told me a little bit about Dad’s sex parties not long after he was arrested. And Ellie’s insinuation about Dante’s relationship with Liora. Those things made it pretty clear to me neither of them buried their desires deep down and never let them out.

  I did because it wasn’t something I was comfortable with. That need to have a woman at my mercy. I had no interest in dishing out pain or anything, it was the power exchange. Someone giving that over to me. It excited me. And I hated it. That’s why I’d never acted on it. Never felt the need with anyone, but something Ellie said to me last night got to me.

  “All my masters preferred to sleep alone.”

  Had they made her call them that? Master. It’s not so much the word that had me spiralling, but what it represented. They kept Ellie as their what? Pet? Slave? I didn’t want that. The thought of masters and slaves made me sick. You couldn’t own another person, but they could willingly give you power over them. Dominance. And sickeningly enough because I knew that’s the type of thing she’d been through. Because I recognised that part of her. It called to me. The beast was thrashing, urging me to give in. How could I after what she’d been through? It was wrong. So fucking wrong. All of it.

  Ellie needed sweet. She needed care and attention. And I wanted to give that to her. Desperately. But I also needed her on her knees, staring up at me with those sky blue eyes of hers doing exactly as I told her.

  Why had I not felt these fucking urges when it came to Avery? Especially now I knew what kind of relationship she had with Aiden behind closed doors. How had I not seen that? Not recognised that’s what she needed deep down.

  It’s not the same. What she needs and what I need don’t match up. That’s why.

  There was no need to restrain. It was simply a need to command and be obeyed.

  And there was no fucking way in hell I could ever act on this shit.

  Not when it came to Ellie.

  My turbulent thoughts were disrupted by one of the secretaries coming through the door.

  “Post for you, Mr Benson,” Viola said.

  I nodded at her as she dropped it on my desk, giving me a smile before disappearing again. Normally I didn’t get much in the way of mail or letters so this was a little strange. I picked up the single letter she’d brought in, scanned the address and dropped it like it fucking burnt me.

  What the actual fuck?

  It was the handwriting which did it for me. I knew exactly who this was from and it made hatred churn in my gut. It taunted me as it s
at there on my desk. There was no fucking way I was opening this. No way I could deal with it by myself.

  I picked up the offending article as I stood and walked out of my office. I bypassed Jen and Fi’s offices and went straight to Dante’s. He was on the phone when I walked in. He put a hand up when he saw me, indicating he was busy. I didn’t give a shit what he was doing. This was more important.

  I strode up to his desk and dumped the letter on his keyboard, glad to be rid of it. Dante’s eyes flicked down to it and widened. His gaze shot up to me, a pained expression appearing across his face.

  “Listen, Will, can we continue this later? Something has come up and I really need to take care of it,” Dante said, his eyes still fixed on me. “Sure, yes, great. Thanks, speak later.”

  He put his phone down on the desk.

  “Is this what I think it is?” he asked.

  “Yes. What I don’t fucking know is why.”

  He looked down at the letter again.

  “You didn’t open it.”

  “No… I can’t.”

  The thought of reading his words made me physically sick. How could he still make me feel this way? He was in fucking prison. He couldn’t hurt me, but his fucking words could still get to me. He’d just proven that.

  “Should we get Jen and Fi?”

  “No. They don’t need to know. It’ll only upset them.”

  “Close the door.”

  I walked over and shut it firmly behind me before throwing myself into the chair in front of his desk, running a hand through my hair.

  “You want me to read it.”

  I nodded. Even though I knew how this would probably affect him, I couldn’t do it myself.

  He sighed, turning it over and grabbing the letter opener. When he got the envelope open, he pulled a sheet of paper out. I could see it was handwritten in our father’s cursive. I already wanted to be sick.

  His eyes scanned over it, the colour draining from his face.

  “What does it say?” I asked as a chill ran down my spine.

  He slid the paper across to me, shaking his head. If Dante couldn’t bring himself to say it out loud, it had to be something bad. My fingers shook as I snagged it and looked it over.