“How do you know Tina?” Avery asked which did nothing to break the tense atmosphere. If anything, it made it worse.
Ellie’s hand tightened in mine, her body going rigid as she looked up at me. She knew I hadn’t revealed her secrets to Avery.
“I… um…” Ellie faltered, swallowing hard.
I didn’t know what to say because Ellie hadn’t told me that part either.
“Through the charity, right, sweetheart?”
She nodded.
“Um, yes.”
Avery looked at me, confusion marring her features. This was the wrong time to bring up this subject. I was beginning to wish I hadn’t insisted on Ellie coming to this thing. It would’ve been better if she met Avery under different circumstances.
“Our charity?” Avery asked.
Aiden looked between the three of us. It seemed the truth had dawned on him because he got a strange look in his eyes.
“Avery… I don’t think we should be pressing the subject,” he said quietly.
She whipped her head around to him.
“What?”
“Now isn’t the time.”
Ellie fidgeted at my side. When I looked down at her, her expression was dark and directed solely at Avery. This was going splendidly and just when I thought things couldn’t get any worse, my girlfriend opened her mouth.
“I thought I was going to be okay meeting you, but I’m not.” She looked up at me. “I shouldn’t have come.”
She started to turn away, but I held onto her.
“Let me go,” she hissed. “I can’t be around her. I just can’t… don’t make me.”
“Ellie…”
“No, you know my feelings on the subject and you didn’t even bother telling her the truth about me and her family.”
“What about my family?” Avery asked. “What’s going on?”
I didn’t have time to deal with Avery.
“I’m sorry, I should’ve, but you don’t have to go,” I said, reaching up and tucking her hair behind her ear.
Her eyes were pleading with me, but I wasn’t ready to let her give up. My girlfriend couldn’t hate my best friend. That would royally suck. If they just got to know each other, it would be okay.
“I do, James. I can’t, not after what she did to you.”
We were keeping our voices low, but they were loud enough for Avery and Aiden to hear.
“What is she talking about, James?” Avery asked, putting a hand on my arm.
Ellie’s expression went from pleading to pissed off. She wrenched her hand out of my grasp and stepped towards Avery.
“You have no clue, do you? No idea how much shit you put your best friend through for years. He told me everything. I’ve seen it, how much this tormented him. You’re just blind to it and he’s too scared to tell you.”
She slapped a hand over her mouth and looked up at me, regret painting her features. None of us said anything or moved for the longest moment. People were staring and this situation had gotten way, way out of hand.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered through her fingertips, tears welling in her eyes. “I can’t do this with you.”
Ellie turned and bolted, fighting her way through the crowd. What the fuck just happened?
“What the hell was that?” Avery demanded. “What does she mean what I put you through? What have you been saying to her?”
I couldn’t fucking do this. My heart felt like it was shattering into tiny pieces and all because the girl I was falling for had just dropped the bomb. Now she’d run off before I could say anything. Before I could fix this mess.
I rounded on Avery, unable to hold back any longer.
“The fucking truth. You started this, Avery. If you hadn’t kissed me back when we were teenagers, none of this shit would’ve happened. I wouldn’t be so fucked up about you. You were blind to it because you didn’t want to see. I’ve loved you this whole time and now when I finally meet the girl I can’t live without, it’s all fucked up because she knows how I felt about you. And it’s even more fucked up because she was one of your family’s girls. Do you have any idea how hard it was for her to come here when your family is responsible for all her pain and misery? No, you don’t because you’re so wrapped up in your own shit all the time.”
I could hardly believe the words which came out of my mouth. Avery’s shocked expression told me everything I needed to know. She had no fucking idea.
“I have to go.”
I turned away, needing to go after Ellie because she mattered more than this. If it meant I’d destroyed my relationship with my best friend, then fuck it. I promised I’d always put Ellie first and I was determined never to break that or any other promises I made to her. Ellie had become the centre of my universe in such a short space of time.
“What the fuck, Avery? Is that true? Did you start it?” I heard Aiden saying as I walked off.
“I… Yes, I did,” she replied.
“Fuck, that’s why you never wanted to tell me.”
I stopped listening. Those two could sort their own shit out. I was done interfering in their marriage. Done with it all. I didn’t even care if I’d made a scene at her charity event. All I cared about was finding Ellie and fixing this.
Ellie, you’re my world. I can’t live without you so I’m coming for you. I’m going to make this right.
Chapter Twenty Two
Ellie
Tears blurred my vision as I ran through the crowd until I got out into the lobby. There would be press out the front still so I couldn’t go that way, but I didn’t see another way out of this venue. I was screwed no matter what I did.
Why had I made a scene? This was so embarrassing. I could no longer think straight when she’d been right there in front of me. All of the conversations I’d shared with James about it came back to me. And knowing her family had a part in my captivity made it worse. It all just got to me. My brain didn’t quite catch up with my mouth and now everything had gone to shit.
I stood there, surrounded by people I didn’t know, trying not to outright sob even though my heart felt as though it was in a vice. The stupid thing about this is it made me realise just how much I cared about James. How deeply my feelings ran. I had to defend him somehow. Protect him from the pain his best friend had inflicted. Make her see what she’d inadvertently caused.
I’d seen the pain in his eyes when I’d looked up at him after I’d revealed things he probably never wanted her to know. Did he blame me for it? Would he hate me now I’d forced his hand? I’d no doubt ruined everything between us. I didn’t want to drive a wedge between him and Avery. That was never my intention. Who was I to say who he could and couldn’t be friends with? I didn’t hate Avery. In so many ways, I wanted to know her because she was an important person in James’ life.
“Ellie,” his voice rang in my ears before his hand connected with my arm and he spun me around to face him.
I stared up at James’ face, tears streaming down my cheeks and all I saw was worry and concern there. He reached up, cupping my cheek and wiping away the wetness there. There were so many people around but all I saw was him. Everything else faded, my senses sharpening and attuning to just him.
“Don’t run off on me like that, not when we need to talk about what you said,” he told me and his words cut me like a knife. Had I underestimated him yet again?
“I shouldn’t have said it,” I whispered. “I’m sorry. I’ve fucked it all up.”
He shook his head. Why couldn’t I just be normal and not get emotional about stupid shit? James made me feel so many things and I simply wasn’t prepared for it. I’d never been with anyone before. Not like this, with a man who completely consumed me. Who could tear me apart with a few simple words if he chose to.
“I didn’t mean to,” I continued, not letting him have a chance to speak. “I wanted to make a good impression and now everyone in there probably thinks I’m crazy. I can
’t believe I said that to her. Oh god, I’m such an idiot. I should’ve kept my mouth shut. I should’ve just stayed calm. I should’ve—”
“Ellie, stop it.”
I shut my mouth immediately. His eyes were intent on mine. There was no anger in them at all. He just looked concerned. He took my clutch from me and procured a tissue, wiping my cheeks with it gently now I’d finally stopped crying.
“Come with me.”
I let him lead me away from the crowd into a quiet corner. He rested a hand against the wall by my head, staring down at me intently. I was effectively caged in, but James wasn’t a threat to me, he was merely hiding me from view. He obviously knew I was embarrassed by this whole thing.
“Why did you come after me?” I asked without thinking.
His eyebrow shot up and an incredulous look flittered across his face.
“Are you serious? You’re my girlfriend and you’re upset. What kind of person would I be if I didn’t come after you?”
I swallowed, unsure of how to respond to that. It was stupid of me to have asked since I knew James. He’d cared for me this past month. Made sure I took my painkillers. Let me live with him. Believed me when I told him about my father. James really was the most considerate and understanding person I knew.
“I’m sorry.”
“Please stop apologising. Ellie, sweetheart, do you think I’m angry with you for what you said to her?”
I nodded. How could he not be?
“I could never be pissed off with you for speaking the truth. Do you have any idea how many times I wished I could tell her how I felt? How much she hurt me? I’m the one who’s a coward, but you, you’re the bravest person I know.”
My heart felt tight.
“I am?”
His expression softened, his blue eyes radiating pride and adoration.
“Yeah. Brave, strong and beautiful, that’s what you are. You mean everything to me.”
I couldn’t speak. Everything about him was too perfect. His sweet and giving nature. The way he saw me. I couldn’t believe he was still here. Still looking at me as if he couldn’t live in a world without me. How could I have ever thought he would hate me for what I said? How could I ever doubt him when he’d come after me? He’d put me first just like he promised he always would. So the next words out of my mouth surprised the shit out of me.
“I love you.”
And judging by his shocked expression, he hadn’t been expecting me to say it either. The silence between us was deafening. If I ran now, he would follow me because that’s just the person he was, but I couldn’t stand it. I’d just admitted something I didn’t even know I felt until I said it. The truth of it rang in my heart. I really was in love with him even though I had no idea if this was how love was meant to feel. Were you meant to be utterly consumed by the person you were with? Like you couldn’t breathe without them and you’d waste away if they ever left you.
Instead of letting the silence suffocate us, I stepped towards him, went up on my tiptoes and kissed him. He wrapped an arm around me, his other hand cupping my face. His tongue danced with mine as my fingers threaded in the hair at the back of his head. It showed me he was okay with what I said, that he wasn’t going to run just because I uttered those three words. At least I hoped he wasn’t. I hoped this wasn’t the last kiss we’d share. I was all in with him.
“Ellie,” he breathed, rubbing his nose against mine.
“I mean it,” I whispered.
“I know.”
I had no expectations he would say it back. It wasn’t something I needed either. If and when he felt that way, he could tell me in his own time.
“Do you want to go home?” he asked, pulling back and staring down at me, his blue eyes filled with so many conflicting emotions.
Going back in there filled me with dread, but sooner or later, I would have to deal with it. Besides, I knew for a fact we were sitting with James’ family rather than his friends. And I liked his family a lot. They’d all been lovely and incredibly welcoming.
“No. I said I’d do this.”
He searched my face for a long moment.
“Okay.”
“Suppose I need to fix my face first.”
He gave me a smile.
“I’m saying nothing.”
Probably best he didn’t. I knew my makeup had run. He waited outside the bathroom for me. I managed to salvage my face and was back out in the lobby, holding his hand tightly before long. Just as we re-entered the ballroom, people were taking their seats. We were some of the last to slip into ours. I was next to Liora who gave me a bright smile. James wrapped an arm around my shoulders which helped me relax a little. I was still tense, but I reminded myself this was for him. I had every right to be here. I was one of the girls the charity had helped.
Glancing around the room, I found Avery’s eyes on me. They were narrowed and I tried not to flinch. Had I made her hate me by exposing the truth?
“Ignore it, sweetheart,” James whispered in my ear. “I’ll sort things out with her, I promise.”
I looked over at him. He was giving me a half smile, but his expression was tense. Knowing I was coming between him and his best friend made my heart sink. It had never been my intention. I leant closer. My hand landed on his thigh. The contact was exactly what I needed. The closeness and connection between us.
“Thank you.”
His eyebrow quirked up.
“For what?”
“For being you.”
That made him smile wider and I swear my heart stopped. I was utterly addicted to the way James looked at me like I was the most important person in his life. Not once in the month we’d been together had he made me feel like I was anything other than his number one. He’d been so patient with me when I struggled and panic set in. Even earlier this evening when I said I was scared of people seeing my scars, he’d reassured me. We’d stood in front of the mirror together and he’d pointed out how each scar on view showed my strength. How I’d persevered despite all of the horrors inflicted on me. Then he’d kissed each one and told me how beautiful I was. I was practically melting in his arms and it’d taken all my self-control not to drag him to bed so he could kiss me in other places.
How could I not be in love with this man?
For a moment, I wished we had gone home because I wanted to tell him over and over again how I felt. Our little tryst in the cupboard earlier wasn’t enough. Nothing would be enough when it came to him. I’d missed out on so much during my years of captivity and recovery. I wanted to make up for it.
“Don’t look at me like that,” he murmured, his ocean blue eyes darkening.
“Like what?”
His nose nuzzled my neck, his breath dancing across my skin. His hand on my shoulder tightened.
His deep voice rumbled across my skin as he whispered the words, “Like you want to get down on your knees under the table.”
I felt hot all over and my insides clenched. I hoped no one was looking at us because they could probably tell we weren’t having a very appropriate conversation for a charity gala. A quick cursory glance told me no one at our table was paying attention. My eyes were drawn to the table next to us, where his best friend was still watching us. I couldn’t tell what she was thinking. Her expression bordered on surprised bemusement.
“You can’t say stuff like that,” I hissed.
“No?”
“Not in public.”
His other hand fell on my knee, fingers brushing over the bare skin where my dress had ridden up. I bit my tongue, trying not to whimper as heat flooded my core.
“Who’s in charge here, sweetheart?”
Fuck.
“You.”
“Good girl,” he murmured against my skin.
He knew just what to say and do to get me to fold. My need to please him overrode anything else. It was so much deeper than sex. When he told me to do something, I complied without
thinking. And it hadn’t been an issue when we were alone.
“You’re not being fair.”
He chuckled, pulling back and dropping his hand from my knee. Sometimes James was utterly maddening and right now, I was sure my face and neck were bright red.
“You’re so cute when you’re blushing.”
I turned to him, giving him a smile as my hand crept beneath his jacket, brushing against his side lightly. His amused expression disappeared in an instant. I’d discovered he was ticklish quite by accident one day when we’d been watching a film. I’d been gently running my fingers down his arm and they’d brushed his side. He’d flinched and almost jumped up off the sofa in response. When I asked what was wrong, he’d just told me not to do it again. I’d put two and two together and later in bed, I’d tested out my theory. Let’s just say James may have screamed like a girl and fallen out of bed trying to get away from me.
“Ellie,” he warned. “Don’t.”
I pulled away and settled myself back in my seat properly as I noticed the host was about to start speaking
“She’s still watching us,” I told James quietly after I’d taken another cursory glance at Avery.
He sighed, dropping his arm from around my shoulders.
“I promise I’ll handle it.”
I believed him, but her gaze made me uncomfortable. It was a mixture between annoyance and I think, jealousy. I suspected it had nothing to do with her wanting James and everything to do with not appreciating how close he was with me already.
And I tried not to think about how it made a small part of me feel a little victorious.
***
Standing with Liora and Dante near the edge of the dancefloor, I watched James and Avery have a heated conversation in the corner of the room with some trepidation. He promised to handle it, but I hadn’t expected it to be during the gala. I thought he might wait until later. She wasn’t having any of it. She’d pointedly ignored me when she asked to speak to him five minutes ago. To be honest, after what I said, I could hardly blame her.
Promises Page 23