“That doesn’t look good,” Liora said, startling me.
I shook my head. From what James had told me, the two of them rarely argued. It was his other friend, Gertrude, whom he bickered with on a regular basis. Now he was arguing with Avery over me. I was about to respond to Liora when I realised someone had approached us. Looking up, I found it was Avery’s husband, Aiden. His eyes drifted over to James and Avery before landing back on me. I couldn’t read his expression.
What does he want?
“Uh… Hi,” I said.
“They’ll sort their shit out between them.”
That was the last thing I expected him to say to me. In all honesty, I found him kind of intimidating now I was seeing him close up. He was taller than James and ripped to fuck. His tattoos were covered, but I knew they were lurking underneath his sleeves.
“I hope so.”
He had a beer in his hand which he took a long swig of.
“Trust me, those two are close as fuck. She’s just pissed he didn’t tell her about you sooner.”
I couldn’t fault her for that. If I’d known, I would’ve made James talk to her long before he did. I always assumed he’d have told his friends about me.
“Seems he felt weird about it what with everything…”
I couldn’t finish that sentence. Aiden nodded slowly.
“I’m going to assume James told you about us and her family.”
I nodded.
“I’m sorry, I knew for a long time and I’ve kicked myself so many times for not stopping it all sooner. Things were fucked and then there was her.” He nodded over at his wife. “She changed everything.”
I saw the way his eyes dragged across her like he couldn’t believe she was his. James was right. Something about the two of them fit when I saw her glance at him and her eyes did a similar thing.
“The only person I blame is the one who sold me to them in the first place, so don’t worry.”
I slapped a hand across my mouth the next moment, staring up at his darkened grey eyes. There was something akin to anger simmering in them.
“Are they in prison with the rest of them?”
I shook my head. Thinking about my dad had my stomach sinking. I should’ve said yes, but something told me I needed to tell the truth.
“Well fuck. Some days I wonder if we’re ever going to see the back of this shit.”
My hand dropped back to my side.
“One day maybe. Until then, at least you have this to show for it.”
I waved my hand around the room, indicating the event which by all accounts seemed successful. The auction earlier had banked them a lot of money for their charity.
“This is Avery’s thing. I just run a tattoo shop now. She calls me her arm candy for these things. You should come see her gallery, that’s her real passion, though she hasn’t painted much since Afie was born.”
I snorted. That was one way of describing him. Then the other thing he said registered with my brain.
“She paints?”
He nodded, pride flashing across his features.
“Amongst other things. Talented as fuck that girl.”
Another thing James never told me. I was beginning to see how Avery felt about him being limited in the details he spoke of. Something I’d need to address. He’d been open about many things with me, but he often held himself back. I think it had everything to do with the way he saw himself after his father’s belittling and abuse. James just needed help to open up.
“So… a tattoo parlour?”
He smiled.
“Oh no, I’m not the artist, my best mate, Ben does that shit. He did all my ink and Avery’s too.”
I’d never thought about getting a tattoo in my life what with all my scarring. It was enough body modification for me if you could call it that.
I felt an arm around my waist and hot breath on my ear.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered.
I looked up at James, his blue eyes were dark and full of sadness. Having no idea what he and Avery talked about and not daring to ask, I leant against him, putting my hand on his around my waist.
“I take it things didn’t go well,” Aiden said.
“Not at all,” James replied, his voice cracking on the words.
Aiden sighed and looked over our shoulders.
“Well fuck. Now she really won’t get off my fucking case. Excuse me.”
He strode away, leaving me alone with a sorry looking James.
“Home?” I asked.
He gave me a dejected nod. He’d taken care of me for the past month, it was time I returned the favour.
We said a few quick goodbyes before piling into an Uber. He was silent the whole way back to the flat, his hand resting on my thigh. He rubbed his thumb across it absentmindedly, staring out of the window. I had no idea what to say. I’d never seen him like this. Almost as if the world had caved in on him.
When we got in, his shoulders had dropped and his expression was heart breaking.
“Let me fix you something to drink,” I said.
He simply nodded and walked into the bedroom without a word. I slipped off my heels which were pinching my feet and padded into the kitchen. After boiling the kettle, I made him a herbal tea and poured a glass of water for myself. I brought both into the bedroom, finding his clothes strewn across the floor and him huddled under the covers.
It was only when I set the mug and glass down, I realised he was silently shaking. Unzipping my dress, I hurried out of my clothes and climbed in next to him. I wrapped myself around his back, holding him to me as the man I loved broke down entirely.
James… please don’t cry. I’m here and I love you.
Chapter Twenty Three
James
You never know how good you have it in life until everything you hold dear crashes down around you. The only reason I wasn’t drowning was Ellie being right there, holding onto me like her life depended on it. My sweet Ellie who deserved the world. Who I’d defend and protect with my dying breath. She was my lifeline.
“I’m here,” she whispered, her breath tickling my back. “I’ve got you.”
She echoed the words I’d uttered to her so many times. Fuck I felt like a pussy. No sooner had she crawled in next to me and wrapped her arms around me, the hold on my emotions snapped. And now it whirled inside me like a hurricane, tearing me to shreds.
My best friend just told me she didn’t know who I was any more.
I didn’t think hearing those words from Avery would cut me so deeply, but they had. If she didn’t know me then who the fuck was I? Avery was the one constant in my life and all I could think was I’d lost her. Lost the person who understood me the most.
The argument played over and over in my head. The words she’d spewed at me like I was the bad guy, the one at fault.
***
“Why didn’t you tell me? Why would you let it go on for years like this? How do you think that makes me feel? Knowing all this time I was hurting you.”
“I didn’t know how to tell you. You were so happy with Peter then you disappeared and after that, you met Aiden. What was I supposed to do? Ruin your happiness? What good could’ve come out of me telling you back then?”
“You should’ve just been honest and not lied to me for years. Years, James! What kind of friend does that?”
“Don’t you start trying to accuse me of being the bad friend here. You disappeared on me!”
“I didn’t have a fucking choice. You have no idea what I went through.”
“Now who’s keeping secrets, huh? Do you think I bought your story about why you ran off? I’m not stupid, Avery. I know what he did. It doesn’t take a genius to put two and two together.”
Her face fell completely and she looked stricken. I’d suspected it for so long but her expression confirmed it. There was a reason no one had ever been prosecuted for her parents’ deaths. She protected
him and kept his secrets.
“Why didn’t you tell anyone if you knew?”
“Because you love him and I’m the last person to judge his actions.”
“He didn’t give me a choice. I didn’t mean to fall in love with him, not after what he did.”
She looked visibly shaken. I wanted to comfort her but knew that would be a bad idea.
“I know, Ave. Love doesn’t exactly give us a choice in the matter.”
“No, love clearly fucking doesn’t considering this shit between you and me.”
I rubbed the back of my neck. This is the last conversation I wanted to have with her in a crowded ballroom.
“I don’t feel like that now.”
“It doesn’t matter. I still had a right to know. You lied to me. You didn’t even tell me anything about Ellie and it’s clear as fucking day you’re totally head over heels for her.” She rubbed her arm with her hand. “Why didn’t you say anything about her being one of the girls my family kept before? You blindsided me, James. How is that fair?”
“I wanted to tell you.”
“Then why didn’t you?”
I sighed, raking a hand through my hair.
“I didn’t think anything would happen between Ellie and me after what she’d been through. I had no idea she liked me, Ave. We were supposed to be friends and then it just happened and before I knew it, I couldn’t live without her. I don’t know why I couldn’t tell you about her. You were the one person I wanted to tell but everything was so messed up between us I didn’t know how.”
Tears welled in Avery’s eyes at my words. She should’ve been the first person I told. She was my best friend.
“You’ve kept so many things from me. I don’t even know who you are any more,” she whispered.
***
My heart sank at the finality of her words all over again. She’d walked away from me after saying that. I’d held myself together long enough to get back to my girlfriend and for us to leave. But my heart was shattered and all my mistakes weighed heavily on my chest.
What the hell would I do if Ellie wasn’t here? Her soft and very naked body pressed against mine. Her hand stroking my bare stomach. Her breath skirting across my skin. The sweetest girl in my life who’d told me she loved me tonight.
She loved me.
That should’ve been my focus not my messed up friendship with Avery. And yet all I could think about is how I’d ruined my relationship with my best friend. How my actions, or inaction as it happened to be, destroyed us.
“What can I do?” Ellie whispered. “Please tell me what you need.”
What had I done to deserve Ellie in my life?
“You,” I whispered, my voice cracking. “I just need you.”
She kissed my back and held me tighter.
“I’m right here. Always.”
Ellie had no idea just how much that meant to me. That after everything going wrong between us, we’d still managed to find a way to be together. That she was by my side. That she loved me.
There was more she could do. She could help me forget for a while. She gave me things no one else could. Knew something about me no one else did. And fuck did I need her to take my mind off this shit.
I twisted in her embrace, meeting her eyes as I faced her. Those sky blue eyes held so much compassion as she reached up and wiped my cheeks with her thumb.
“I want to watch you touch yourself.”
Her eyes widened and her cheeks started to stain red.
“What? I’m not sure that’s a good id—”
“You asked what I needed.”
She searched my face for a long moment. Then she released me and her hand brushed along her collarbone. I tugged the covers off us until they were pooled at our waists. Watching her fingers trace a line across her right breast, my mouth watered. I’d asked her to do this once before. She’d been incredibly shy then so I’d guided her with simple commands, but now her movements were more confident.
She pinched her nipple between her fingers, squeezing gently.
“Harder.”
She obliged, hissing a little. I could watch her do this all day. Her hand trailed lower, dancing across her stomach. The urge to touch her was strong, but I resisted. I wanted to see her do it. Watch her find pleasure in her own body. So she’d know what I saw when I looked at her and felt when I was inside her. And I’d slide into her tight heat soon enough.
Her fingers disappeared beneath the covers and I almost growled. Gripping the duvet, I pulled it lower, exposing the rest of her. She shivered and I stared with rapt attention as her fingers disappeared between her thighs.
“Lay back and show me properly.”
Ellie rolled onto her back, letting her legs fall open. I shifted up onto my elbow so I could get a better view. Her fingers brushed across her clit as her other hand cupped her breast. A small moan left her lips, her hips bucking a little as she stroked herself. She really had no idea how fucking sexy she looked at that moment. Her eyes were closed and her bottom lip was gripped between her teeth.
“Does that feel good, sweetheart?”
“Yes,” she breathed.
I couldn’t help palming my aching cock, through my boxers. My patience was hanging by a thread as she tugged at her nipple and fingered herself. I could help her along if I wanted but watching her like this was fucking magical. I needed to see her come apart.
She opened her eyes and looked at me.
“I want you,” she whispered.
“Make yourself come and you’ll have me.”
My words seemed to spur her on as her fingers worked faster, her chest rising and falling rapidly. A sheen of sweat appeared across her brow. She hadn’t managed without my help last time. Would she beg me again or would she let go? It wasn’t all for my benefit at the end of the day. She’d never had the confidence to explore her own body before.
“I can’t,” she whimpered.
“You can, Ellie. Do it for me.”
I shoved the covers off me and tugged my boxers down. I’d give her something to focus on. Moving between her legs, I sat up on my knees and stroked myself. Her eyes fell on my cock and her tongue ran across her bottom lip.
“See what you do to me, sweetheart? How much I want you?”
She nodded.
“Use your words.”
“I can see. I want to touch you so much.”
I smiled. She wasn’t allowed that quite yet.
“Come, then I can fuck you nice and deep, just the way you like it.”
She shivered, her body arching towards me. Ellie had lost all her embarrassment and shame about her body when it came to me. I’d kissed every scar and blemish, touched her in ways she’d never experienced. I’d made her mine and mine alone.
“James,” she moaned.
“That’s it, sweetheart, let yourself go.”
I don’t know if it was because I gave her permission or she was too turned on by all of this, but she did let go. Her cries of pleasure echoed around my skull. Her body tensing and releasing before my eyes. And fuck did she look so free.
Opening her eyes, she stared up at me, her chest still flushed and her pupils dilated. I lowered myself over her until our breath mingled and our bodies were inches apart.
“You’re such a good girl for me,” I whispered.
“I’d do anything for you.”
And she would. Ellie and I were perfectly matched in this respect. She needed to please me. I needed her to obey. It was so simple. This past month everything between us was easy despite me needing to nurse her back to health. I wanted to take care of her, protect her from all the shit she was going through.
“And I you, sweetheart.”
I kissed her, allowing my desire for this girl to take over. She moaned in my mouth when I gripped my cock and guided myself inside her. There was nothing gentle about the way I handled her. I thrust deep and hard, taking her without mercy
or restraint. Her fingers curled around my back, nails digging into my skin.
Pulling back, I watched her taking my brutal pounding. One of my hands rested beside her head whilst I used the other to grip her leg and shove it up towards her chest. Ellie stared back at me, her blue eyes dark with lust and potent desire.
I couldn’t get enough of her tight, wet heat. The deeper I fucked her, the louder her little pants and mewls got. Her pussy was my heaven and I intended to spend as much time as possible taking pleasure from being inside her.
For once, neither of us seemed inclined to speak. Our eyes did the talking for us. Hers radiated love and affection whilst I’m sure mine echoed that and my awe of her beauty.
I pulled back further, sitting up on my knees with Ellie still wrapped around my cock. I gripped one of her hips as an anchor whilst I pinched her nipple with the other. Her chest rose and fell, her resulting moan echoing around the room.
“James, please.”
“Play with your clit, make yourself come all over my cock.”
Her hand snaked across her stomach and lower. She stroked herself for me whilst I continued to fuck her, and hell if the sight of it didn’t make me harder. I had both hands on her hips now, taking her deep and hard like a fucking man possessed. I was so close but I wanted her to come again. Needed to feel her clenching around my cock before I erupted inside her.
“Fuck,” she cried out, her body starting to spasm.
My name spilt from her lips over and over like a prayer. She gripped me so tightly, I had no choice but to let go. The heat of her and the gush of her arousal flooding all over my cock was the sweetest damn feeling in the world.
My strangled cry of “Shit, Ellie,” was the only warning as the first wave hit. It pulsed across my skin in time with each spurt of my release. Everything but her and I faded away. Just me and my sweet girl locked together in ecstasy and bliss.
My chest rose and fell with heavy breaths as my hands fell from her hips. Ellie looked utterly dishevelled with her hair falling out of her bun at all angles and her makeup slightly streaked across her face.
Pulling out of her sweet heat, I flopped down next to her with my arm slung across my face. I still felt the tingles racing across my skin from the intensity of our own personal brand of fucking. Her lips pressed a kiss to my bicep before the bed shifted and I listened to her footsteps across the hardwood floor.
Promises Page 24