by Pam Uphoff
"Elegant too. So we'll have two more triads."
"Likely and Mostly haven't seen much of their couriers since the Old Road was opened down to Karista. But I expect they'll have more daughters. Except, if we go back to only half the girls being witches . . . "
Answer nodded. "Perhaps we should work harder to bring in magic genes. Seduce some of those Mages."
"Ick. The mages and their term marriages and nameless women—disgusting. I suppose they'll be having more babies too, I heard some sort of argument going on, with the women all innocent and saying, 'which wife was that?' while the men carried on. That just can't be healthy. Maybe some of us could seduce some of the teenage boys, the ones that are too young to be possessive. Don't look at me. I prefer wizards, thank you very much."
"That is disgusting, dear. He's a goat. Are you going to have another baby? His?"
"No time soon. I have so much I want to do, and Rustle all by herself is interfering." Never frowned, "I hadn't really thought about Harry and the Auld Wulf. What will their children be able to do?"
Answer shrugged. "I should have at least had the sense to seduce a human." She snorted in sudden amusement. "This time. Harry is Happy's father. It took us a while, after we arrived, to realize that there was something uncanny going on. And they were the only men around other than the mages. And Beck and Coo were such irritating, possessive . . . males."
"They're not Furious and Glorious's fathers are they?" Never was a bit scandalized.
"Yes, and now the strong magical blood was clearly worth the irritation, but at the time, watching them, well, I wasn't about to use them. So I flipped a coin, Harry or the Auld Wulf, and it came up heads."
"Well, mother is a fine witch, so I guess we can just hope these others will be too." Never shrugged, "Now, the goat wizard babies, the six the Sheep Man brought back, Fava's and Juli's, and Little Havi. I wonder what potential they'll have. Will they be like Justice—a carrier of the wizard genes, so to speak, or will they be full blown wizards like Question? I wish I knew more about the goat spell, and what it does. And why. Did the gods interfere, to bring wizardry back?"
Answer shifted uneasily. "Or have they interfered over and over, to bring back the gods?"
"Like the growth of the Church of Ba'al?"
"According to the Auld Wulf, he's the shredded remains of a god." Answer shivered, "He says Ba'al tried to escape the comet fall, abandoning all others, and it killed some very important parts of the man. His conscience and his consciousness. Ba'al is like a man trapped in a nightmare, with the powers of a god at his command."
"Dydit says that all these women Ba'alist's sacrificing their virginity to Ba'al are scary."
Answer snorted.
"The thing is, Dydit say that magically speaking, those women really aren't virgins anymore. So, is Ba'al getting the energy?"
Answer stopped dead for a long moment. "Dear, now you have seriously alarmed me."
"I'll mention it to the King's Mage when we get to Karista. I'm eager to learn what the king is going to do about the wizards."
"I'm sending your triad with you," Answer said, "And Curious said she wanted to test a few things on the wizards if it came to a fight."
Never nodded. Curious had advanced to the Dark Crescent, and gained new abilities. Even alone, she'd be a powerful force if they had to fight wizards.
"The colonel should be back from the New Lands next week, and we'll leave immediately. If Nil's right about them gaining power from volcanoes, then we'd better fight them before they get to the Cove Islands."
Answer looked down the street. "And I'm of two minds about him leaving his last goat behind."
"He's pretty sure only Maleth had a Master's grip on Dydit. But that's different than being certain. So Dydit stays. He's not actually a bad fellow, now that he's free from all those spells. Well educated. You might consider asking him to teach Scoonian math to any witches that are interested."
"That would be begging for trouble. Bad enough I'm sending you lot off, so you'll be experienced if it comes to any further battle with Ba'al."
***
"Well," Never looked the colonel over carefully. “That's, umm, interesting. Mother never mentioned any names." She supposed they did both have straight noses and square jaws. That was pretty thin evidence of parentage. "I'll ask her, when I get home." The colonel had met another party of his people, with updates on the Wizards' movements, and orders from the King. They were all in the Tavern, the Sheep Man, Dydit, Lefty and Question were sitting around a table, chatting over the remains of lunch. The colonel had pulled her aside for a private chat. To tell her he was her father.
Colonel Negue blinked a bit at this tepid reaction. "I, umm, I am very well placed in society . . . " he floundered a bit. "I'm the King's oldest son."
"Colonel, I'm a witch. I was raised by a Pyramid of witches. I don't care about society. And paternal relationships . . . are not important to me. I won't ever be a proper daughter. I already have one illegitimate daughter, and no doubt will have more in the future. Utterly scandalous in your society, normal and expected—celebrated—in mine," she shook her head. "Don't expect to pull me into your orbit. I won't ever be a part of your society."
"What about Lord Byson?"
She blinked, surprised. "Witches use men and sex for their advancement through the levels of abilities. I'm afraid Lord Byson is nothing to me. And according to your laws, he's married."
"He is about to annul his marriage," the voice spoke from behind her.
She turned and examined him. Same incredibly good looks. Not a sneer in sight. The colonel must have waited to speak to her until Byson arrived. "I'm sorry your marriage is not working out well. From what I know of the wizards, Lady Eltia's first marriage must have been a horror."
"Yes, she can barely stand to be in a room alone with me. My advances send her into hysterics," he stepped up close. "But I remember a woman who was every young man's dream, however many of her sister witches she tried to divert him with."
What? She felt some power flows, nearby. Past the Lieutenant's shoulder she could see Dydit's fingers tapping the table as he did not turn around to look at them. The Sheep Man was shaking his head and saying something to him.
Never frowned. Byson wasn't making sense. "Witches have to be careful to not harm, or even kill, men. An inexperienced witch can kill frightfully easily."
Byson stepped away, paced. "I was miserably unhappy, all I had was ego and demands. Nothing satisfied me. After you refused me for the second time, all that ego was gone, and so was the pain. Without the ego, I realized how much I enjoyed what I was doing, and recognized that I was rather good at it. If you killed part of me, it was a mole I was well rid of. I . . . I want you."
"You can't have me. I'm not something that can be possessed." Oh, Hell. I have seriously messed up his brains or something.
"You are a woman, you need a husband."
She snorted. "Guess I didn't hurt you too much."
The colonel shifted. "Never, I'm trying to find you a husband that will cherish and take care of you. I don't want you to go after the Wizards, to risk yourself like that."
"I am not a child who requires care. And I am glad to serve the King in this fashion, using the powers born in me for the betterment . . . Old Gods, how pompous! I'm delighted to test my abilities against dangerous wizards. I'm doing it for the sheer adventure and excitement."
"No. I forbid it."
Never cocked her head at the colonel. "As the military head of the expedition, you can choose your personnel. That is the only authority you have over me. Do you refuse me?"
"Yes."
"Very well. Excuse me a moment." She stalked down to the basement and found Harry's red heart decorated crate of wine, and took three bottles. She left one on the kitchen counter, and took the other two out to the dining room.
"Captain Byson. This wine has a large number of healing spells, and also some powerful aphrodisiacs. I suggest you ask you wife if
she wishes to attempt to maintain your marriage, and if she does, drink this with her. Nil? Do you need another to take on the campaign with you?" She handed both bottles over and walked back to the kitchen and picked up the third bottle. If she and Dydit were both going to be stuck here, well . . .
***
Dydit took the greatest of pleasure in fleecing the colonel and that miserable excuse for a captain of every copper they had on them. And every one they won from Nil and Lefty. Nil, of course, won plenty, but that didn't matter. No, it was these men who thought they had, had . . . rights to Never.
But he was worried about Nil. He eyed Lefty. "You will take care of him."
Nil snorted. "Bah. More like I'll be taking care of him. Scout, you don't have anywhere near the experience you ought to have to get near that lot. I wish you could Travel, but even Dydit isn't up to that yet."
Dydit gave him an odd look. "Travel?"
"Magically." The Tyrant closed his eyes and breathed deeply for a moment. "Like this."
The spell spread out before them. Dydit could read the power flow, see two location harmonics that needed specifics added to them, and a bridge of flowing vibration between them. A concert, a symphony of basic orientation magic. It duplicated itself, rolled up and fit into two boxes. Nil reached out and pushed one in to Dydit's head, and the other into Lefty's.
"Scout, you don't have enough experience for that, but if I don't come back, I don't want the knowledge lost. You may find a teacher that can take you far enough to understand it. Dydit, you can look it over and practice location harmonics, but don't invoke the spell until I'm back. Hot springs are excellent locations." There was a general stir toward the door, and Nil nodded sharply. "Let's go."
Chapter Twenty-three
Summer 1356
Karista and the Southern Border
Oscar snuck a look at the three witches. Likely and Mostly were eight years older than he was. At fifteen that had been an uncrossable gap. At eighteen, the two twenty-six year olds seemed . . . almost childishly irresponsible. Maybe because they were witches. Unmarried, a child apiece, going off on adventures.
"Heck," Bran whispered in his ear, "They're practically our age."
Oscar laughed at that, and sauntered over. "I wasn't home long enough to catch up on the gossip. What's up with the Sheep Man?"
"Oh, did you see his wizard's tower?" Likely giggled, "It is not the remote fortress you hear about in the myths."
"And Justice has moved in with him. Elegant carried on like you wouldn't believe. And that was before Question turned out to be a wizard instead of a witch."
"Question is a wizard?" Bran gawped and Mostly poked him.
"Yep. Let's see. The other gossip is that Juli's and Fava's babies were fathered not just by you two, but by those nasty goats. What really happened that night?"
Oscar and Bran exchanged shrugs. "They needed to deflower virgins to break the Sheep Man's spells. The four of us presented ourselves all happy and drinking that wine and . . . they took what they wanted.
Likely shivered, "I hope we kill all those things." She reached over and hugged Oscar. "I was really glad to hear you two killed two of them."
Mostly nodded, and patted Bran's shoulder, scooting closer to him.
Oscar and Bran swapped glances. Witches. Our lucky day.
Oscar cast a glance at Curious, who appeared to be meditating on the front of the barge. "Maybe we should compare the stories we've all heard, we can maybe dig out all the common elements and figure out how to attack the goats."
"Good idea." Likely squeezed him, "Let's go below so Curious doesn't yell at us. She says we talk too much."
Talking about the rumors led to a bit of feeling up, and talk about horny goats and the battle for Ash that Oscar and Bran had missed, led to a bit of experimentation with methods, and a fun time was had by all. Mostly and Likely complained that it wasn't nearly as much fun on a boat as on land.
Bran had muttered something under his breath about "Earth sourcing" and "just as well." But whatever was bothering them didn't stop them.
But by evening as they approached Karista, they were all back on deck, acting like good friends.
Bran leaned over and whispered, "It didn't happen."
Oscar snickered. "And there were no goats."
The colonel escorted them to the king.
"We need to know how much of a threat these Goat Wizards are." The King swept his gaze over all of them. "Not just to the Kingdom, but to anyone, and well into the future. Our best estimate is that they are going to the Cove Islands, and will take power there. Both magical and political. I'd rather fight four of them now rather than have my grandson face four hundred of them with an army at their backs. Will you go?"
"We will, sire." Curious answered for the witches.
***
By late Spring the southern border with Auralia was hot. The witches reported that they could, just barely, detect some magical activity far to the south, but not what it was. Or at any rate, Curious could feel it. Mostly and Likely griped about not being able to, and Oscar and Bran had to keep distracting them.
"I think they pout on purpose," Oscar said, "Truth of the matter is, those two are just horny as all get out."
Bran snorted agreement. "And you know what? I haven't noticed a Moon time during the trip down here."
"Umm," Oscar reflected that as a mage, Bran tended to be aware of things involving blood. "Maybe they were preggers before they came on this trip?"
Bran shook his head, "I think we've done it again."
They were sitting at a table in a restaurant next to the Inn where they were lodged, when the stage rolled up. Carrying familiar faces. Four women. They recognized Delight, Furious, and Glorious and after a long moment, decided the young one must be Particular. The Sheep Man was the last one off the stage, and he spotted them.
"Order something for the five of us, boys, we'll be right over."
They beat the food by a few steps, and they ordered more, as Curious, Mostly, Likely, Lefty, and the colonel joined the party.
Oscar sat between the two groups and tried to listen in on both conversations.
" . . . decided we needed more . . . "
" . . . take ship for the Cove Islands. Beat them there."
"Practice with Particular and we'll have two triads by the time . . . "
" . . . diplomatic channels . . . "
" . . . good idea, but bad timing on the pregnancies . . . " Oh Crap!
"Just warning the government and scouting the ground, we hope. If the Wizards arrive while we are still there . . . "
"Wish I hadn't sent Dydit . . . "
" . . . witches are prone to seasickness, so be aware that we'll need to . . . "
That last proved to be amazingly true, as all seven witches spent a large amount of time leaning over the rails of His Royal Majesty's Fast Courier Petrel.
"They haven't any power, out here." The Sheep Man told them, "You two, on the other hand, have taken right to it."
"The sea?" Oscar asked, breathing the salty air. He couldn't remember ever being so satisfied. Even without Likely's company. Whether he was down in the ship with the ocean all around and rocking him, or up in the rigging whipping around with the ship's movement, he was just . . . happy. Even his dreams were full of the sea. "I think I may talk to the colonel about transferring to the Navy."
He became aware of the Sheep Man studying him.
"Doubt he'll want to let go of either of you."
Oscar nodded, reality being what it was. "Anyway, Bran thinks it's all right, but doesn't love it the way I do."
"And the evil pair of you should never be split?"
"Exactly."
***
"Last year's attempt to recreate The Orgy was a complete failure." The Emperor's representative was impressive, to say the least. Tall, broad shouldered, thick tawny hair with a touch of gray, a stiff limp from the, er, upper thigh injury that had reduced him from Commander of the Armies to
Emperor's gofer.
Rain looked him over and nodded, looked at her sister virgins. They nodded their approval. Yes, this was this years God. The babies and toddlers were all abed, with their nannies on hand, in the new domed annex. It was Time.
"Did you save any of the sacred wine, from The Orgy?" Rain asked.
"I was not there." He crossed his arms irritably. "The Emperor wishes to purchase the remnants you have. You will have to prove it works to me, before I take it to him for further inspection."
"Oh, certainly," Wind giggled and scampered off. She returned with three bottles of fine red wine, and a cork screw.
"That is a nice vintage, however it is not . . ." the General looked irritated as they ignored him and pulled the corks.
Snow brought out the sacred Bottle, and the funnel. The Sacred Wine was a little low, but Sunshine expertly poured a quarter of each of the first two bottles into the Sacred Bottle, and then refilled them from the Sacred Bottle and recorked them. The third new bottle, she poured nearly the entire contents into the Sacred Bottle and just a few glasses worth back. They recorked the Sacred Bottle and returned it reverently to storage.
"There, two full bottles, and the dregs of another. That is what the God of Love brought to the Emperor." Sleet placed them on the altar.
"Ladies." the General sighed, "I cannot go to the Emperor with this!"
Rain tsked, and pulled out a glass. One by one they drank a half glass, and with the final half, turned to the General. "Will you test it? Remember the consequences!"
The General snorted, "You mean everyone getting so blind drunk they think a eunuch and a goat fucked a couple hundred people each? I can handle being that drunk." He sipped the wine, nodded approval of the taste, "At least you use good wine," and drained the glass.
He set the glass down with careful deliberation, and reached out to pull Rain to him and kiss her, and pull her against him, and take her to the ground.