Wings

by Danielle Steel

  She had two more races to fly that day. One at noon, which went well, and the last one in the afternoon, which was a race Nick would have preferred she hadn't entered. She and Nick had had lunch with Billy Nolan and his friends, Chris had joined them eventually, and when her father wandered by, she introduced them to the famous Pat O'Malley. He liked all the young boys, and Billy spent some extra time talking to him, telling him about his father. Fat remembered him well, and was sorry he had lost track of him in the past twenty years. He had genuinely liked him.

  And then it was time for Cassie's race. When Pat heard that she had entered, he was furious, and his eyes blazed as he berated his partner.

  “Didn't you tell her not to?” he barked at Nick, who looked annoyed and unhappy at Pat's reaction. He felt guilty enough for letting her enter it and Pat wasn't helping.

  “She takes after her old man, Pat. She does what she wants.”

  “She's got the wrong plane for that, and she doesn't have the experience to do it.”

  “I told her that. But she's practiced a lot, and I think she's smart enough to let it go if she can't make it. She's not going to push it to the edge, Pat. I told her that myself.” He only prayed that she had listened.

  The two men stood staring up at the sky unhappily, with Chris, and Billy and his friends, and the man in the white trousers. It was a daredevil event, usually entered only by old stunt pilots with aerobatic planes, which Nick's Bellanca wasn't. But she had desperately wanted to try her hand at this event. It allowed her to show off all the stuff she did best, and pull off a miracle or two, if she could get the plane to cooperate with her at low altitudes. She knew it was going to be scary, but she was prepared to scrub the race if she really had to.

  There were over a dozen moves she had to do, all of them impressive and frightening, and she went through the first half dozen of them without being a hair off. Pat was even beginning to smile as he watched her. And then on the final dive, she seemed to lose control. Her plane dove with its wings askew, and Nick wondered if she was panicking and had forgotten everything he had taught her, or maybe she had fainted. But she was doing absolutely nothing to save herself, nothing at all, and no one moved as they stared in horror at what was going to become a tragedy in a single instant. But suddenly, with a roar, she throttled the hell out of it, and pulled up, barely higher than the heads of the horrified crowd, and pulled out of it, soaring high and completing a triple roll that took everyone's breath away. She completed every move and did a final loop that won her the race hands down, without even hearing from the judges.

  Nick had a lump in his throat the size of an egg and Pat looked gray, but as he realized what she'd done, Nick wanted to throttle her for scaring him so badly. How could she terrify them that way? Even first prize wasn't worth it. He ran to where she taxied the plane and almost yanked her out of the cockpit.

  “What the hell were you doing up there, you damn fool? Trying to kill yourself showing off? Don't you realize that another foot and you couldn't have pulled up?”

  “I know that,” she said calmly, startled to realize that he was shaking. She had done everything intentionally and with flawless calculation.

  “You're a lunatic, that's what you are! You're not human, and you have no right to be in a plane.”

  “Did I lose?” She looked agonized and more than ever he wanted to shake her, as her father watched from the distance with a look of fascination. And as he watched Nick's face, he realized that he was seeing something there he had never seen before. He wondered if Nick even knew it.

  “Did you lose?” Nick raged on, holding firmly to her arm. “Are you nuts? You almost lost your life up there, and killed about a hundred people.”

  “I'm sorry, Nick.” She looked suddenly contrite. “I thought I could get away with it.”

  “You did. Damn you. And it was the finest piece of flying I've ever seen, but if you ever do anything like that again, I'm going to kill you.”

  “Yes, sir.”

  “Good. Now get out of that damn plane, and go apologize to your father.”

  But surprisingly, he was much kinder to her, although he had been as scared as Nick, and he was grateful that Oona wasn't there to see it. She had stayed home with Glynnis, who was pregnant again, and all five of her young ones had the measles. But Fat had seen what Nick had done, and he thought there had been enough said. Instead, he complimented her on her style and her courage.

  “I guess Nick was right after all,” he said almost humbly. “You're quite a flier, Cass.”

  “Thank you, Dad.” He gave her a hug, and it was the greatest moment of her life as he held her.

  They watched Billy Nolan fly again after that, and he won first prize in his last race too. Cassie had won a second and three firsts, which was better than she'd dreamed. And the newspaper kept taking her picture.

  They were all standing around drinking beer and watching the last event, when suddenly Cassie saw Nick's jaw tighten as he stood beside her. She followed his eyes high into the sky, and saw smoke, and suddenly, like everyone else there, she looked frightened.

  “He's in trouble,” Nick whispered to her. They all knew who it was. It was a young pilot named Jim Brad, shaw. He had two babies and a young wife, and a plane that wasn't worth spit, but more than anything in life, he loved air shows.

  “Oh, my Cod,” Cassie mouthed the words, as they all watched in horror, as he began to spiral lazily, just as she had, but this was for real, and the plumes of smoke from his fuselage told them all that this was no stunt. This was a disaster. The crowd began to run away from where the plane appeared to be, and people started screaming. But Cassie found she couldn't move, all she could do was stare at it, the lazy bird falling head over heels, into the ground, and then suddenly it hit with a tremendous crash and an explosion. People ran from everywhere, and Nick and Billy were among the first there, trying to pull Jim from the wreckage, but it was too late. He was inhumanly burned, and it was obvious that he had died on impact. His wife was sobbing hysterically, and two of the women held her, as her mother held onto the children.

  The ambulances were already there, but it was a somber end to an exciting day, a reminder to all of them of the danger they constantly courted.

  “I guess we'd better go home,” Nick said quietly, and Fat nodded. Earlier that day, Pat had feared that Cassie might meet the same fate and he was ashamed to admit now how grateful he was that it had been someone else and not his daughter.

  Billy came to say good-bye to them, as they loaded their three planes onto flatbeds, and tied them up firmly.

  “I'd like to come out and see you at the airport before I go,” he said to Fat after they shook hands.

  “Anytime. You going back to San Francisco?”

  “Actually, I was wondering… I was kind of hoping maybe you could use another pair of hands… I… I wouldn't mind sticking around and doing some flying.”

  “We could use a flier like you, lad. Come by and see me tomorrow morning.”

  Billy thanked him profusely, and they all said goodbye again. His friends were all going home the next day, and Billy looked thrilled to be staying.

  “What do we need another hotshot kid for?” Nick asked Fat, with a look of annoyance.

  “You planning to spend the rest of your life flying nights?” Pat asked with a look of amusement. “Don't worry. I don't think he's her type.” Her father grinned ruefully and for the first time in years, Nick blushed, and turned away from his old friend. “I might remind you though, Nick Calvin, she's engaged to the Strong boy, and shell marry him eventually, if I have anything to say about it. She needs a man firmly planted on the ground, not up in the sky, like the two of us.” He meant what he said, but what he'd seen in Nick's eyes that day intrigued him. There was something very powerful there, between the two of them, though he suspected that Cassie was too young to know it. But he also knew that Nick was wise enough not to be carried away by his own emotions.

  They headed f
or the O'Malley home then, where Oona had promised to cook them dinner.

  She was amazed to hear of Cassie's wins when they got home. In most ways, it had been a good day. But the death of Jim Bradshaw had spoiled it for all of them, and then in the midst of dinner, Bobby had arrived, looking crazed. He burst into their living room, and apologized when he saw them all eating dinner. His eyes went to Cassie first, and he looked as though he were going to burst into tears. He looked so distressed that Oona rose as though to go to him, but he backed out of the room apologetically and stood in the doorway.

  “I'm sorry… I… they told me there was an accident…” His eyes filled with tears again, and they all felt sorry for him. It was easy to see what he'd thought, and Cassie got up and went to him.

  “I'm sorry. It was Jim Bradshaw,” she said softly.

  “Oh, my God. Poor Peggy.” She was a widow at nineteen and alone with two children. Bobby seemed overcome at the thought of it, but what had upset him so terribly was the fear that it could have been Cassie who was killed. And no one he talked to seemed to know what had happened.

  They went out to sit on the porch quietly, and Cassie closed the door. You couldn't hear anything from inside the room, but they could still see how distressed he looked, as he talked to her. And she just sat there and nodded.

  He was telling her that he couldn't live like this anymore, just being engaged to her, not going anywhere, not getting married, and never being entirely sure if they even had a future. He knew that she wanted to finish school, but he wasn't sure he could wait two more years. His father was so ill now, and his mother was so dependent on him. He seemed overwhelmed by all of it, and it was obvious to her that he needed her to help him. But it was equally obvious to both of them that she wasn't prepared to give up everything, and be what he needed.

  “And this flying thing.” He looked at her, his eyes filled with anguish. “I can't live like this. I keep thinking you're going to be killed… and today… you could have been… you could have been…” He started to cry and she put her arms around him and held him.

  “Oh, poor Bobby… poor Bobby… it's all right… shhh…” It was like consoling one of her nephews. But she understood now that there was too much on his shoulders and she was only part of that burden. He desperately needed someone to help. He was only twenty-one, barely more than a boy himself, and he deserved so much more than she had to give, and they both knew it. As she comforted him, she gently slipped his ring off her finger, and pressed it into his hand. ‘You deserve so much,” she whispered to him, “you deserve everything, and I have a long, long road ahead of me. I know that now. I was never sure of it before, but I am now.” She wanted life and freedom and flying. And now that her father accepted her, maybe she could have all those things. But she couldn't give Bobby Strong what he deserved, and in truth it was the last thing she wanted.

  “Are you going to keep flying, Cass?” he asked miserably, sniffing like a small child, while the members of her family in the main room tried to ignore them.

  “I am,” she nodded at him. “I have to. It's my life.”

  “Don't get hurt… oh God, Cassie… don't get hurt… I love you… I thought you were dead today.” He was sobbing again and she felt terrible for him. She could only imagine what it must have been like. Just as it had been for Peggy Bradshaw.

  “I'm okay… I'm fine…” She smiled up at him with tears in her own eyes. “You deserve wonderful things, Bobby, not someone like me. Find yourself a good wife, Bobby Strong. You deserve it.”

  “Will you stay here?” he asked curiously, and it seemed an odd question to her. She had nowhere else to go, and she had always lived there.

  “Where else would I go?”

  “I don't know,” he smiled sadly, holding her ring. He missed her already. “You seem so free to me. Sometimes I hate our damn grocery store, and all the problems that go with it.”

  “You're going to do great things,” she said confidently, sure that it was a lie, but he deserved all the encouragement she could give him.

  “Do you really think so, Cass?” He sighed then, thinking of his life. “The funny thing is I just want to be married and have kids.”

  “And I don't.” She grinned. “That's the trouble.”

  “I hope you do one day. Maybe well find each other again,” he said hopefully, wanting to pursue the dream again. She had always seemed so exciting to him, maybe even too much so.

  But she shook her head as she looked at him. She was wiser than he was.

  “Don't wait for that. Go get what you want.”

  “I love you, Cass.”

  “I love you too,” she whispered as she hugged him again and then stood up. “Do you want to come inside?” she asked, but he shook his head, tears bright in his eyes.

  “I guess I better go.” She nodded, and he slipped the ring into his pocket. He stopped for a long moment, and looked at her again, and then he turned and hurried off the porch before he started crying again. And Cassie went hack inside and sat down. No one asked her anything, but they could all guess what had just happened. Nick glanced at her finger, and he wasn't surprised not to see the ring. In fact, he was relieved not to see it. Now all he had to worry about was Billy Nolan.

  9

  The next morning, as Cassie lay in bed, thinking of the day before, she realized with a start that she was no longer engaged. She wasn't sure it changed anything, but suddenly she felt as though she didn't belong to anyone. It was partially very exciting, and in some ways suddenly very lonely.

  But she had known all along it was wrong, she just hadn't had the courage to say it. But that night, it had seemed so cruel to go on torturing him, to make him wait another two years, and then tell him she still wasn't ready. She didn't think she ever would be, not for a life like his or for him, and now she really knew that.

  She made herself breakfast, and saw a note from her mother, saying she had gone to take care of Glynnis's kids again, and she doubted if she'd be home in time to make dinner. Chris had left another note saying he'd be out with friends, and half an hour later, Cassie had showered, dressed, and gotten herself to the airport. She put on a clean pair of overalls and fueled some planes, and it was noon before she saw either Nick or her father.

  “Sleeping till noon these days, Cass?” Nick teased. “Or just resting on your laurels?”

  “Oh don't be such a smartass. I was here at nine. I was just doing some work in the back hangar.”

  “Yeah? Well, I've got a run for you today, if you want it.”

  “Where to?” She was intrigued.

  “Indiana. A little cargo, and some mail, and a quick stop in Chicago on the way back. It shouldn't take too long. You should be home in time for dinner. You can fly the Handley.”

  “Sounds good to me,” she grinned. He told her where to pick up the log, and her father came out of his office just then, and told Billy to load the cargo. He had appeared out of nowhere, and he had been working hard all day. And her father surprised her by telling him to go with her.

  “I can go alone, Dad.”

  “Sure you can. But he needs to learn our routes, and I don't like the idea of your flying into Chicago.” She rolled her eyes at him, and he made a face, but at least he wasn't objecting to her flying. Things were looking up, and Nick looked wamingly at her and Billy, as though they were both naughty children.

  “Behave yourselves, you two. No stunts, no rolls.” He turned to Billy then, “And watch out for her double loops.”

  “If she tries anything, I'll toss her out on her ear,” Billy grinned, looking more than ever like everyone's brother.

  And as they took off toward the plane, Nick stood for a minute and watched them. They looked as though they were enjoying themselves, but they looked like two kids. He couldn't imagine her falling for him, but stranger things had happened. And in fact, even if she didn't, it didn't change anything for him. He had no right to be chasing a girl her age, and he would never have done it. She deserv
ed a lot more than life in a lean-to shack at O'Malley's Airport, and he knew it.

  They had just taken off when a brand-new green Lincoln Zephyr pulled up, and a man in a gray double-breasted suit stepped out and looked around the airport. He looked pleasantly at Nick, and at the small building which housed their offices and was the airport.

  “Do you know where I might find Cassie O'Malley?” he asked smoothly. He had wavy blond hair, and movie-star good looks. And suddenly, Nick wondered if someone was going to offer Cassie a movie career. This was the man he'd seen the day before at the air show, in the blazer and white trousers. And he didn't look like a reporter now. He looked like a businessman of some kind, or maybe an agent.

  Nick pointed up at the sky. “She just took off on a mail run. Can I help you?”

  “I'd like to talk to her. Do you know when shell be back?”

  “Maybe seven or eight hours. Not before. I'd say shell be back sometime tonight. Can I give her a message?”

  He handed Nick a card. His name was Desmond Williams. And the card said “Williams Aircraft,” with an address in Newport Beach, California. Nick knew exactly who he was. He was the young tycoon who had inherited a fortune and an aircraft company from his father. And he wasn't all that young, Nick decided, looking at him. He was pretty close to his own age. In fact, he was thirty-four. A lot too old for Cassie, according to Nick anyway.

  “Will you be sure and give her my card? I'm staying at the Portsmouth.” It was the finest hotel in town, which wasn't saying much. But it was the best Good Hope had to offer.

  “I'll tell her,” Nick assured him, dying of curiosity. “Anything else?” Williams shook his head, and looked Nick over with interest. “How did you like the air show?” Nick couldn't resist asking him. “Not bad for a small town, eh?”