It's Never Enough: Book 1 in the Never Series

by Susan Soares

  “Oh. Karate. Sure.” My mouth was dry. “So you took him to karate.” My heart rate slowly returned to normal.

  Devin’s eyes sparkled. “Yeah, I was just killing some time at the bookstore while he was in class and on my way out to get him, I happened to see you gathering up your stuff.” Gleaming teeth smiled at me. “Sorry if I freaked you out.”

  “Me? No.” Liar, liar, my crotch is on fire.

  Kyle tugged on Devin’s arm. “Can we get something to eat now? You promised me pancakes?”

  Devin tousled Kyle’s hair. “You’re right, I did.” To me, he said, “How about it? Did yoga work up an appetite?”

  “You want me to come?” I tucked a loose hair behind my ear. Could I eat in front of him? Looking at his eyes caused my stomach to flip-flop. “Sure. I can do that.” Pancakes with a side of anxiety for me, please.

  ***

  It was weird standing in line next to Devin and his little brother as we waited to be seated at the restaurant. We were going out for pancakes together. Me and this guy I didn’t even know. A guy that could be a douche bag. A guy that could be an asshole. A guy that could be a stalker. A guy that I was totally hot for every time I looked at him.

  We followed a server to a table for four that sat in the middle of the room. “Is there any chance we could have that booth over there?” Devin asked the server who shrugged and walked us across the way to the open booth.

  “I hope you don’t mind I requested a booth,” Devin said.

  A small laugh escaped me. “No, that’s cool. Every time Fiona and I—she’s my stepsister—every time we go out, I’m always the one who requests a booth.” We sat down, Devin and Kyle on one side and me on the other. “She says I should leave the booths for the big families. That I’m being greedy getting a booth for just the two of us.” The server handed us each a menu along with a kids coloring page for Kyle. “But I just hate being out in the open in those awful table and chairs.” Stop talking you’re rambling! “I just feel like you’re on display.” Seriously, stop it! I bit my bottom lip, opened up my menu, and pretended to focus intently on the words.

  Devin just laughed. A big, hearty, Santa Claus type laugh. He had no big belly to jiggle like a bowl full of jelly, though. All I pictured under that green t-shirt that hugged his biceps like they were old friends was a set of six pack abs.

  “No I totally get it. It’s like you’re a fish in an aquarium out there,” he said.

  I dropped my menu on the table. “Oh my God, I said that same thing to Fiona once!”

  My excitement made him smile, and I instantly blushed.

  Kyle blew his straw wrapper on the ground. “Are we sitting on the right side? Can you see an exit?” he asked Devin who immediately looked uncomfortable.

  “We’re good, buddy.” He pushed some crayons in front of Kyle to distract him.

  Self-conscious of my burning face, I turned my attention to Kyle who was very busy coloring in a picture of a robot. “So Kyle, how old are you?”

  “Six,” he said without looking up.

  “Wow, six,” I said before looking at Devin. “Second marriage, I’m guessing?”

  Devin took a quick sip of ice water. “No actually. My dad had a—” He looked at Kyle, who was still deeply involved in coloring before he spoke again in a quieter tone. “Vasectomy. But somehow or another, a tough guy snuck his way through and I finally got the little brother I’d been asking my parents for forever.” He took another sip of his water.

  “Wow,” I said.

  “Yeah. I didn’t realize he’d come around when I was sixteen, but hey, it’s still awesome.” He tousled the top of Kyle’s hair like he’d done before.

  He looked at Kyle with such love in his eyes that it made my insides feel warm. “Wow,” I said again. “So you’re twenty-two?”

  “Flexible and able to do math in your head. Those are two things I like in a girl.”

  I shifted my gaze from his full lips to the table. “Yeah, well, simple math, no problem. My high school trig teacher wouldn’t say math was my strong suit.” Way to talk yourself down, Mallory.

  At the mention of the word high school, Devin’s eyebrows raised. “You’re not still in high school, are you?”

  “No, I’m a year out.”

  “Are you in college?”

  Inadvertently, I choked on my water at the mention of college. “I took a gap year.” I’d been set to start college last fall but after Haley died—meaning I practically died too—I just couldn’t handle the thought of it all. Plus, I was put into recovery—at the precaution of my dad—to ensure I didn’t end up like Haley. Even though at that time, part of me wanted to. It was agreed that I’d take the year and get myself together and start college fresh a year later. Now it was the summer before when I was supposed to start college, and unbeknownst to my dad, I hadn’t even applied anywhere. I was officially floundering.

  “That’s cool. So do you have plans for this fall then?”

  “Well.” Just as I was trying to think of a better response than a simple no, the server came to take our order.

  The distraction of the server allowed me to sidestep the what-about-the-future question from Devin. Instead, I shifted the topic to movies–something safe and easy that anyone could talk about. Throughout our meal, we bounced around topics. He was witty, funny, and obviously intelligent. When he correctly used the word osmosis, parts of my body began to throb. Where had this guy been hiding?

  “Are you done with this, Miss?” the server asked me when he came to clear our plates.

  I nodded as I pushed my plate over to him.

  “Are you sure?” Devin asked me. “You hardly touched your food.”

  I waved a hand at him. “I’m fine, really. I had a big breakfast earlier.” Not only had I been worried about not being able to control myself in front of a plateful of perfectly cooked pancakes and bacon, but sitting across from Devin in all his gorgeousness made it almost impossible for food to settle in my stomach.

  When the server dropped the bill off at our table, I reached for my purse to pay my portion.

  “Don’t worry, I got it,” Devin said as he scooped up the check.

  “It’s no problem. I can pay for mine.” I didn’t want him to think I was one of those girls.

  “Are you gonna ask for your discount?” Kyle piped up.

  Embarrassment washed over Devin’s face as he looked at me, then to Kyle. “No buddy, I’m cool.”

  “But you know Dad says to always ask for your discount. You deserve it,” he slurred the word deserve in his little six year old mouth. “For all you’ve done for this country.”

  Confused, I looked at Devin, who was staring at the table.

  He exhaled slowly. “He’s talking about my military discount.”

  “My brother’s a hero!” Kyle shouted. “He’s a vet, but not like the kind for animals. Like a different kind of vet.”

  I was stunned. I didn’t quite know why, but I was. “Wow,” I said due to the lack of a better thought coming to my mind. “What kind?” Was that a stupid thing to say?

  “Army.”

  “Cool.”

  Awkward silence.

  “He’s killed people for our country. He’s a hero!” Kyle shouted again. It was obvious he was repeating things he’d heard other grown-ups say about his big brother.

  “Kyle,” Devin’s voice was stern. “We don’t shout out things like that. We don’t talk about what happened when we’re not at home, okay?” He laid a hand on Kyle’s shoulder.

  Kyle looked hurt. “But you did. You did good things. You killed the bad people. That’s what Dad says.”

  “Kyle!” Devin’s voice escalated from stern to angry, and at the sound of it, my own heartbeat began to rise.

  Kyle looked down at the table. “Fine. But you are a hero,” he said meekly.

  My purse strap had become a necessary distraction as I wrapped and rewrapped it around my hands. Devin gave me an I’m sorry look as he tossed
some cash down on the table. “Let’s go,” he said. And we all silently slid out of the booth and headed towards the doors. For some reason, the song Taps was playing on a loop inside my head.

  The warm summer air felt good on my skin after being inside the air-conditioned restaurant. Devin asked Kyle to sit on a nearby bench for a minute.

  “So,” he said while placing his hands in the front pockets of his loose jeans. “That was fun.” He plastered on a big smile, the kind that reminded me of an overzealous third grader on picture day, and it made me laugh.

  “Yeah, it was.” The corners of my mouth lifted in a flirtatious grin.

  He smiled even bigger, completely over-exaggerated and comical. “And awkward and uncomfortable too.”

  “Yeah, it was.” We both broke into a laugh, and the air carried our laughter into a cyclone around us.

  He stepped closer to me, bridging the space between us, and my pulse quickened. His chest slowly raised and lowered as he took in a deep breath. “Damn, you’re beautiful.”

  My chest constricted and I couldn’t breathe for a minute. “Wh-what?” I stammered from being completely thrown off guard. Unsure of what to do, I awkwardly touched my face. Nose, eyes, mouth—yup, they were all where they were supposed to be.

  “Sorry, but there’s one thing I’ve learned from what I’ve been through, and it’s to never hold back from saying something in the moment because you never know if that moment will ever come around again.”

  Wow. I knew exactly what he meant. I’d wished one-hundred thousand times over that I’d spoken up to Haley. That I’d been more forceful with her about getting better. That I’d been around more to save her. There must have been a way for me to save her. But it was all too late.

  “So I was just thinking that over and over again in my head and I had to say it,” he said.

  My feet shuffled slightly closer to him. I wanted to press my chest against his. I wanted him to run his strong fingers through my hair. “Thank you.” My eyes caught his, and I had to fight with every hormone I had to refrain from leaning in and kissing him right at that very moment.

  “Can we go home now?” Kyle yelled.

  Devin looked at him and held up the one-minute sign. Then he turned back to me. “So, do you think we could do this again sometime? Maybe with a less awkward finale?”

  “Definitely.” There was a lilt in my voice that made me sound like a little girl, but it made him smile.

  We exchanged cell phones and entered each other’s contact information. “So I’ll talk to you soon then,” he said as Kyle, who had obviously grown impatient, bounded up to him.

  “I hope so.” My voice oozed with flirtation.

  As he walked away, I opened the camera on my phone and called out to him. When he turned around, I snapped a photo. He waved back to me and continued his stride. After cropping out the distractions around him, I saved the photo. Nothing like a little eye candy to curb my sweet tooth.

  CHAPTER FIVE

  “So what type of hot is this guy?” Fiona asked as she curled her hair. She had an afternoon shift at Burgers and Buns, and I still detested that she worked there.

  “He’s the type of hot that makes me want to do naughty things to him.” It had been one day since I’d had pancakes with Devin. He texted me and we’d made plans to hang out. I’d been trying to pick my outfit for over an hour when Fiona helped me settle on a pair of white capris and a pink V-neck, which was fitted but not too fitted.

  Fiona unplugged the curling iron from the wall. “That’s the best kind of hot. So where are you two going tonight?”

  “We only talked about going to dinner, so I don’t know if we’ll do more than that.” I’d hoped we would, but I didn’t want to come across as overeager.

  Fiona applied some cherry red lipstick to her full lips. “Well, be sure if you wear a bra that clips in the front, you give him a heads up. Guys hate to be fiddling around back there only to be denied entry.”

  “Fiona!” I smacked her arm as she sashayed past me to grab her purse.

  “I’m kidding! Hey have you talked to your dad yet?”

  “Nice segue.” I sat down on a stool at the breakfast bar.

  “I only ask because I’ve talked to my mom, and your dad is on her case about you not talking to him. So have you talked to him?”

  I made tiny circles on the countertop with my index finger. “No.”

  Fiona grunted before putting a hand on my shoulder. “Talk to him.”

  “Whatever. Don’t you have some ass, oops, I mean burgers to sell?”

  Her blue eyes beamed at me and she put a big cherry stained kiss on my cheek. “Remember what I said about the bra!” she yelled as she walked out the front door. If I’d had something within easy reach to throw at her, I would have.

  It was twenty minutes before I was due to walk Casper’s dogs when I got a text message from Devin.

  So what are the chances we can hang out?

  I thought we already were?

  True. I meant earlier.

  How early?

  Now’s good. He added a winking emoticon.

  My insides flared Well I have to walk some dogs first.

  Guys or animals?

  Ha! Animals. I wanted to see him though. I wanted to see him immediately. And the fact that he wanted to see me only made that feeling more intense. But I couldn’t bail on Casper. You wanna come along?

  Tell me where and when. And if I should bring treats.

  I texted him back and told him I’d meet him outside Perked, since it was around the corner from my house, in twenty minutes. This meant I’d have to decide on a slightly different outfit. White capris wouldn’t work while walking the dogs. Especially since two of them had black fur that shed constantly. After ransacking my closet, I came up with a pair of flattering but not slutty jean shorts and the same hot pink V-neck I’d already planned on wearing. My brown hair was looking decent after I twisted it into a sleek side braid, and I applied neutral makeup with a slight wing to my eyeliner and double coats of mascara. But I was anxious. I did laps in the kitchen around the breakfast bar. It’ll be fine. At least that’s what I kept telling myself. But anxious little minions kept poking pitchforks in my stomach. Remembering the calming breathing techniques I’d done at yoga, I began to focus on the three-part breath. Breathe in, one, two, three; breathe out, one, two, three. It wasn’t helping.

  There was one thing I was trying to keep my mind off of. The ice cream pie I’d made the night we found out about my dad and Fiona’s mom having a baby. I’d done the right thing though. I’d made the pie, took my big spoonful and then brought the rest over to Mr. Dobson’s house so he could enjoy the pie and I’d be free of it. Only I’d saved one slice that I wrapped three times in tinfoil and placed deep in the back of the freezer. As I unwrapped the foil and exposed the pie, the knots in my stomach began to loosen, and my heart rate began to rise. Without thought, I lifted the piece of pie and took one large bite of it. As I chewed, not even taking the time to enjoy the taste, I shoved the remainder of the piece down the garbage disposal. It was stupid to save that piece. Why did I think I could just leave it in there? After scanning the time on my phone, I realized it was time for me to pick up the dogs. And a hot guy.

  ***

  The dogs pulled me towards the entrance of Perked where I frantically glanced around for Devin. No sign of him. Had he changed his mind? Come to his senses? Gotten hit by a bus? As I tried to steady myself and the dogs, while debating the protocol of what to do if he were hit by a bus, I was taken aback when I heard his voice behind me.

  “Whoa, those aren’t puppies.”

  I spun around and saw him standing there. He had a coffee in hand, and he wore green cargo shorts and a black t-shirt that hugged his chest ever so slightly. I had a feeling all of his t-shirts hugged his chest and biceps. I couldn’t blame them. I’d hug them, too.

  “Hey there, pups,” he said as he bent down to pet them.

  Yanking on the l
eashes, I pulled the dogs back from his hand. “Oh, you don’t want to do that. Casper has a rule. Always let the dogs smell you before you try to make contact with them.”

  “Casper? You don’t mean Casper, the kindred spirit of dogs guy?”

  “You know him?” The dogs pulled me closer to Devin so they could get a good whiff of him. He smelled like marshmallows and cedar wood. It was intoxicating.

  Devin kept his eyes on me while the dogs sniffed him. “My mom loves his show. Watches it every Friday night.”

  “Do you have dogs?”

  “Nope. She’s just fascinated by the control Casper has over the dogs he works with. I think she tries to use some of the tactics on Kyle sometimes. She has all of his books and everything. I can’t believe you work for him. That’s too funny.”

  Vixen made a mad dash and circled around the back of Devin, causing me to be pulled forward directly into Devin’s chest. In a split second, he was able to take his free hand—thankfully, because the other hand was holding scalding hot coffee—and stop my face from smashing into him. Somehow I was left gently pressed against him.

  “Hello there,” he said as I looked up at him. I was so close to his mouth, his lips, his tongue.

  “Sorry,” I muttered and returned myself to a standing position. “The dogs aren’t super great with me.” I shortened the lead on their leashes and pulled them to me. “I’m nothing like Casper.” Which was stating the obvious.

  Devin’s eyes scanned my face and held his stare on my lips for a moment before returning to my eyes. “Well good. I don’t care much for short, bald men.”

  He took the leashes of Vixen and Prancer and we began to walk side by side with the dogs pulling us all the way. I could still smell the sweet musky scent of Devin. I’d have to give Vixen an extra treat later for pulling me into him. Maybe it was a trick I could train her to do more often.