Crazy for You

by Rachel Lacey

  “Good,” she murmured against his lips. She’d helped him physically, but emotionally? That might be a much harder job.

  * * *

  “You working tomorrow?” Ryan nuzzled his face into Emma’s hair, breathing in her fresh scent. They’d made it back to her place after their little rendezvous on the back of his bike and he’d fucked her senseless here in her bed. Funny how his need for her never seemed to lessen. If anything, it grew stronger each day.

  She shook her head in answer to his question. “You?”

  “Not ’til noon.”

  “You want to stay?” she asked, her arms tightening around him.

  “Yeah.” He wanted it more than anything. “But I may need to make a run for some food. I’ve been hungry all damn day.”

  “You missed lunch,” she murmured.

  “And supper.”

  “Oh wow.” She sat up. “You are hungry, then. I think I have steaks in the freezer. We could toss them on the grill?”

  “Sounds great.” He climbed out of bed and started pulling his clothes back on.

  Emma did the same. She went into the kitchen while he went out onto her patio to start the grill. By the time he had it nice and hot, she had the steaks thawed and seasoned. “I threw a couple of potatoes in the oven, too.”

  “Steak and potatoes. You know the way to a man’s heart.” He had no idea where those words came from, but he’d blame it on being famished.

  Emma gave him a funny look but said nothing.

  They didn’t talk much while they cooked, and while he was still somewhat tongue-tied over what he’d just said, the silence didn’t feel uncomfortable. Once he’d devoured enough food to fill the aching void inside him, he sat back with a satisfied sigh.

  Emma slid closer, her shoulder bumping into his. “You want to tell me about it now?”

  “Yeah.” He did, too. “Trent’s parents came to see me tonight.”

  “And it didn’t go well.”

  “No. And then I lost my cool, which was stupid.”

  “You’re only human, and they’ve been awful to you.” She ran a hand down his back. “You did wait until after they’d left to punch your fist through the wall, though, right?”

  He choked on a laugh. “Yeah.”

  “Good.” She smiled, but it looked sad. “I’m sorry. I thought this would be your chance to finally set things right with them.”

  “Yeah. I was hoping that, too.” And now he felt only a bone-deep weariness. “Trent’s an adult now, legally. They can’t stop him from visiting, but I hate for the kid to feel like he has to choose between us.”

  “They never should have kept you apart,” she said softly.

  “No.” In that word, he felt all the pain come crashing down on him, the pain of being an eleven-year-old kid all alone in the world, of being an eighteen-year-old who’d aged out of the system with nothing to show for it. No home, no family, no place in the world. The pain of all the years he’d spent searching for Trent, when all it would have taken was one phone call from the Lamars to set it all right.

  * * *

  Emma was still in bed when Ryan left the next morning. They’d been up late, really late, and she wasn’t feeling in any hurry to move. She rolled over, replaying in her mind the naughty things they’d done on his motorcycle. Ryan pushed her outside her comfort zone, except he didn’t—because he was never the one pushing. She pushed herself out of her comfort zone when she was with him, and she liked that. She really liked that.

  She liked everything about being with him, and she wasn’t even trying to deny—to herself at least—that she was in love with him. Nope. She was all in, but she was a big girl. She’d always carried a torch for Ryan, and she could continue to bear it after they broke up. If they broke up. Because she wasn’t an idiot. This thing between them wasn’t just sex.

  He’d come to her last night when he was hurting. He’d opened himself to her, let her comfort him. They’d shared things, done things, that spoke to a much deeper connection.

  Would he ever be ready or willing to admit it? She didn’t know. For now, she was content with things the way they were. They’d only been together a few weeks, after all, and Ryan was still adjusting to a more stable life here in Haven.

  If she got accepted at the University of Georgia, then it would be time for them to have a serious talk about their future together. Otherwise…

  With a sigh, she climbed out of bed, sending an offended Smokey stalking off in the direction of the living room. Already naked from her mostly sleepless night with Ryan, she headed straight for the shower.

  Her reflection in the bathroom mirror stopped her. Her tattoo had gone through an icky, scabby phase while it healed, but now…now it looked…wow. She touched it with a smile. It was pretty and sexy and feminine. She loved it even more than she’d thought she would.

  The poppy represented both her work and her love for her brother. It reflected so much about her, but it was private. No one had to see it unless she showed them. Yeah, she loved it. It was perfect.

  With a happy smile, she stepped into the shower. Now that it had healed, she could take hot showers again. Long, hot showers. Or soak in the tub. Both sounded good, but right now her stomach was instructing her to hurry so she didn’t linger too long beneath the shower’s hot spray. Instead, she hopped out, dressed in a white tank top and jeans, and headed for the bakery. She was starved, and only one of Carly’s cinnamon buns would do.

  “Hey there, stranger,” Carly said with a wide grin when she walked in.

  “Hey yourself.” Emma snagged a seat at the counter.

  Carly set a cup of coffee and a plate with a cinnamon bun in front of her with a smile.

  “Am I that predictable?” she asked. “Yeah, I am, and I don’t even care.”

  “Nothing wrong with knowing what you want,” Carly said. “So how are things with Ryan?”

  “Good.” She sipped her coffee with a happy sigh. “Really good, actually.”

  “You do have that happy glow about you,” Carly said, eyeing her up and down.

  “That might be partly due to what you’re feeding me,” she said around a mouthful of cinnamon bun.

  “Aw, you’re sweet, but this looks like more of a man-made glow.”

  “The glow of someone who…” She lowered her voice, giving a sly glance around her. “Gave a blow job on a motorcycle last night?”

  Carly’s eyebrows lifted. “You naughty girl, Emma. That sounds technically…awkward.”

  She giggled. “It was a little bit, but it was also amazing.”

  The bell above the door chimed, and she and Carly looked over to see a tall, slender brunette enter. Emma straightened in her seat. “Good morning, Mrs. Lamar.”

  The woman glanced at her, seeming at first not to recognize her, but after a moment’s pause, she walked over with a polite smile. “Emma, right? And please call me Kate.”

  “Yes. Thanks, Kate.” Emma motioned for Kate to take the seat beside her.

  “What do you recommend?” Kate asked.

  “The cinnamon bun, definitely. Carly’s cinnamon buns are pretty much the best breakfast food ever created.”

  Kate glanced at Emma’s plate. “That does look good.”

  “It’s delicious.”

  Carly smiled from the other side of the counter. “I should hire her to work for me. Would you like to taste a sample?”

  “No, thank you,” Kate said. “I’ll take Emma’s word for it. Two cinnamon buns, please. One for here and one to go. For my husband,” she added, glancing at Emma.

  “Are you guys enjoying your time here in Haven?” Emma asked.

  Kate nodded. “It’s a lovely town.”

  “Your son’s a great kid. We’ve all enjoyed having him here.”

  The older woman’s expression was pained. “It’s not that I object to him being here exactly…but he should be in college right now. Instead he’s here, playing around, riding zip-lines and DJ’ing in a club. He’s head
ed down the wrong path.”

  “And no one has tried to convince him of that more than Ryan,” Emma said quietly.

  “Excuse me?” Kate gave her a sharp look.

  “Ryan didn’t get to go to college, you know. He couldn’t afford it so he just worked his ass off to make up for it, and he’s done well for himself. Really well, I think. He doesn’t like the club thing any more than you do, and he’s been riding Trent hard about getting back into college. He doesn’t want his brother to make a mistake he’ll regret later on.”

  Kate was silent as Carly set a plate with a cinnamon bun on it in front of her.

  “Coffee?” Carly asked.

  Kate nodded. “Please.”

  “I actually warned him to back off,” Emma said. “I told him if he pressured Trent too hard about it, he’d push him away.”

  “I didn’t know,” Kate murmured.

  “He’s really a great guy, you know? He had a crap start in life, but he made something of himself anyway. He’s kind and generous and one of the most hardworking people I know. Trent’s lucky to have him as a big brother, Kate. And you should support that, instead of trying to drive a wedge between them.”

  “But the tattoos…and the motorcycle…”

  “What about them? Spend a little time with him, and you’ll see. Give him a chance.”

  “You love him,” Kate said, giving her an assessing look.

  “Yeah, I do,” Emma said softly.

  On the other side of the counter, Carly dropped a plate with a crash and a muffled swear.

  “Don’t even pretend you didn’t hear what I just said.” Emma shook her head with a smile. “But don’t you dare repeat it either.”

  Carly straightened with a shit-eating grin and mimed zipping her lips.

  “Ryan doesn’t know?” Kate asked.

  “This thing between us is…well, to say it’s complicated is cliché, but we’ve been friends most of our lives, and this new step is well…new. He’s nowhere near ready to hear or say those words yet.”

  “I see,” Kate said. “Well, we don’t leave until tomorrow evening. I don’t suppose he’d have an opening for a rock climbing lesson in the morning?”

  Emma couldn’t contain the smile that creased her cheeks. “You’d have to ask him, but on a Monday morning? I’m guessing he could fit you in.”

  Kate nodded briskly. “We’ll just see about that.”

  Chapter Seventeen

  Ryan stood inside the front office, watching as Kate climbed out of the Lamars’ gray rented Lexus. Gary drove off, leaving her standing there in black leggings and a jacket. Dressed to climb. He’d hardly been able to believe his ears when she’d called to ask if he could fit her in for a lesson this morning. After the way they’d left things the other night, he’d never expected to hear from either one of them again.

  Ryan picked up the bag with their gear and stepped outside. “Good morning, Kate.”

  She met his gaze, her gray eyes steady and flat. “Good morning, Ryan.”

  Since she didn’t seem eager to rehash their argument—or to apologize—he decided to stick strictly to business. He wanted her to have a good time on the rock, but he was done trying to forge a relationship with her. “Great morning for a climb.”

  “Yes,” she said. “It is.”

  “Right, then. Let’s get going.” He led the way down the path into the woods with Kate beside him. The morning was brisk and alive with spring, birds twittering and squirrels leaping from branch to branch overhead.

  “It’s really peaceful out here,” she said after they’d walked in silence for a few minutes.

  “Yeah. There’s really nothing quite like it.”

  “I’ve never climbed outdoors.”

  “You’re in for a treat then. This is a whole different ballgame than an indoor wall. A bit trickier, but so much more worth it. When you get to the top, you get to look out over the forest, not down at the gym floor.”

  “I think I’ll like that,” she said with a hint of a smile.

  They arrived at the rock face, and Ryan was encouraged by the excitement on her face. He opened his bag and helped her get geared up in the harness and helmet. They didn’t talk about anything other than the business at hand while she started to climb. The rock intimidated her at first. He could tell. Her movements were timid and stiff, and she fell several times before she made any progress.

  But after a little while, her prior experience seemed to come back to her, and she began to climb with more confidence. She had an advantage over Emma during her first lesson in that Kate already knew how to keep her weight in her feet and her body flush with the rock, thanks to her time spent on the indoor climbing wall.

  Forty-five minutes after she’d started, she climbed over the top.

  “Wow,” she said as she stared out over the landscape before her.

  Ryan stayed put at the bottom of the rock, one hand on the belay rope, and let her enjoy the moment. She sat up there for several minutes, her expression quiet and pensive. When she looked down at him, she looked like she had something to say.

  He just wasn’t sure he wanted to hear it. “Something else up there, isn’t it?”

  “It sure is.”

  “I’ve climbed indoors, too, but it just isn’t the same once you’ve done this,” he said, raising his voice slightly to carry to her thirty feet above his head.

  “No, I don’t imagine it would be.”

  “The view from up there gets in your blood. Nothing else will do,” he said.

  “Ryan—”

  “Yes, ma’am?”

  “You’ve done your best. I know that.” She stared out at the treetops behind him.

  He didn’t say a word, had nothing left to say on this topic.

  “And so have I. I’ve always tried to do what’s best for Trent.”

  Ryan was silent for a long moment, but his tongue finally got the better of him. “You ever consider that the best thing for Trent might be getting to know his brother?”

  “No,” she said faintly, the word almost lost in the chasm between them. “But maybe I should have.”

  * * *

  Emma held an unopened envelope from the University of Georgia in her hands. It was thick. Really thick. She’d never done this before, but she remembered her friends in high school saying that a thick envelope was good news.

  Good news. Her stomach cramped, and her heart raced. Suddenly, she wasn’t sure what she wanted the letter to say.

  Attending the University of Georgia had been her dream for so long. When she’d first graduated high school, she’d have given anything, anything for the chance to go to college. To truly learn her trade. Oh, how she wanted a diploma to frame on her wall, something that said she’d made it.

  But did she still need that diploma? Was it worth the mountain of debt that would come with it in student loans and leaving behind all her friends—and Ryan—in Haven?

  She smacked herself on the forehead. What in the world was the matter with her? This was her dream!

  She ripped the envelope open, sliding the papers inside onto her palm.

  Congratulations. We’re extremely pleased to extend an invitation to the University of Georgia’s Landscape Architecture Program…

  She’d done it. She’d gotten in.

  Despite the fact she’d been having mixed feelings a moment ago, she realized she was smiling. Actually, she felt like jumping up and down. She must have made a sound because Smokey gave her a disgusted look and headed in the direction of the closet.

  Emma pulled out her phone and dialed Ryan. His phone rang until voice mail picked up, which meant he was probably either with a client at Off-the-Grid or on his bike. She hung up, knowing he’d call when he saw that he’d missed her.

  Needing to share her news with someone, she snapped a picture of the acceptance line at the top of the letter and texted it to Gabby. Moments later, her phone rang.

  “Oh my God!” Gabby said. “Congratulations.”

>   “Thanks.”

  “I’m so proud of you. For the record, I never had any doubt that you would get in.”

  Emma laughed softly. “Well, for the record, I had plenty of doubt, but I’m glad I got in. I’m relieved. I’m really excited.”

  “I bet you are. Did you tell Ryan yet?”

  “I called, but he didn’t answer.”

  “He’s going to be so proud of you, too. We should get everyone together and go out tonight to celebrate.”

  Emma felt herself grinning like a fool. “Actually, that sounds really fun.”

  “Great. You tell Ryan. I’ll rally everyone else. See you tonight.”

  Emma hung up and stared at the letter in her hands. Gabby was right. Ryan would be proud of her. Would any part of him want her to stay? Or would he just feel relieved that their relationship had a clear end in sight without a messy breakup?

  The little tug she felt in her chest was definitely all about him. It was her poor heart cracking at the thought of leaving him behind. But she wouldn’t let it break. Nothing was going to ruin this for her, and no man was going to derail her dreams.

  Chin up, she brought her laptop into the bedroom and curled up in bed to browse apartments in Georgia. A half hour later, she heard the sound of a motorcycle approaching. Not necessarily Ryan, but…

  She hurried to the front door, where indeed his Harley came into view at the bottom of the hill, winding its way up to her driveway. He pulled in and killed the engine, giving her a wicked smile. “Lookin’ for me?”

  She nodded, motioning for him to follow her inside. She handed him the letter from the University of Georgia, watching as his expression went from guarded to ecstatic. He grabbed her and spun her around, a huge smile on his face. “Holy shit. You did it!”

  She nodded, wrapping her arms around him.

  “I am so fucking proud of you, babe.”

  “Thank you. I can’t quite believe it.”

  “If anyone understands how much this means to you, it’s me,” he said, his expression earnest. “Kids like Trent…they get college pushed on them so that it feels almost like an obligation. For you and me? It was the impossible dream. And now you’re living it.”