Shadows in Me

by Ramsden, Culine

  He scooped me into his arms again and quickly made his way towards the house; we got to it just in time.

  “I’ll go run you a bath my angel, you relax.” He placed me down on a wooden lounger and covered me with a towel. He walked into the house leaving me on the deck.

  I was really lucky to have a man like him in my life, every time I looked into his eyes I could see the love he had for me, the way he worshipped me. The way he looked at my body, the way he touched me, not just physically but also emotionally, he truly allowed me to just be me. He loved all of me, not just my body but also my mind.

  I was standing at the railing looking out over the ocean replaying the events of the day in my mind. We’d made love so many times and it still didn’t feel like enough, I needed him more, I needed to feel him against me.

  The hairs on the back of my neck pricked and goose bumps popped up all over my body. I turned around to find him leaning against the doorframe, his arms crossed over his chest, framing his pecs. God, I just wanted to sink my teeth into him. My eyes made their way down his body, I grinned at the sight of him, he wanted me just as much as I wanted him, and he was not ashamed of showing me just how much. Seeing my reaction, he lowered his hand and cupped his balls, making his cock stand up even more. I let go of the sheet around my body, letting it drop to the ground. I walked towards him, the wind swirling around my body, heightening all my senses, making my nipples harder and sending a shiver down my spine.

  The lust in his eyes, matched the lust in my body.

  Chapter 12

  Caitlin

  That Monday was the day I had been waiting for for so long. This was my opportunity to prove to myself that the decision I had made to go to chef school was the right one. Studying under Chef Nathaniel had been truly amazing, and I finally got to run his entire restaurant.

  It was only 4:30 in the morning, but there was no more sleeping for me, I needed to clear my head and get rid of the uneasy feeling in my tummy. It must have been my nerves. My mom had always said that ginger tea was the best thing for nausea. I wanted to go for a run but didn’t think it would be a good idea.

  Vincent was coming to my big night, and I would be going home the next day. We had finally decided that it was the right time for us to make the big move. Heather and Cole were taking over my place and I was moving in with Vincent. My parents weren’t too crazy with the idea, they would have liked us to be married first before moving in together, but hell, we were both grown-ups, so why should we have waited?

  I grabbed my bags and started packing; I wanted to have it all done by the time he got there. It was going to be a long night and I wouldn’t have the time for packing afterwards. Besides, it was Christmas, and I wanted to get home early.

  On my way to work, I decided to give Vincent a quick call. It didn’t take long for him to answer the phone.

  “Morning beautiful.” I could almost hear the smile in his voice.

  “Morning sexy. I thought I would give you a call before my day started, and to make sure you’ll be here tonight.” To be honest after Vincent had let me down the last time I was a little worried.

  “Oh come on Caitlin, that’s not fair. I told you I was sorry for letting you down before. I thought I had more than made up for that.” There was a hint of hurt in his voice.

  “Sorry, I didn’t mean it like that. I just wanted to check what time you’ll be here today.” I felt bad.

  “I have a meeting at three this afternoon, and I’ll be leaving straight after. I’ll meet you at the restaurant. I promise I won’t not let you down, I know how important this is for you.”

  “Ok, I need to go. See you later, I love you.” My nerves were killing me; I couldn’t wait for the day to be over.

  Just as I was about to walk through the door I heard someone call my name. I turned to find Brent behind me, leaning against his truck.

  “Morning Princess. Wow, you’re a hard person to get hold of. Are you that pissed at me?” I wished I could smack that cocky grin off his face.

  “Hi Brent. No, I’m not pissed at you, I just think your girlfriend has issues and it would be better if I stayed out of your way.” I walked toward him, and gave him a quick hug.

  “So you ready for today?” He asked.

  “I hope so, what are you doing here?” I said.

  “I came to wish you well; I assume Loverboy will be here tonight.”

  “Yes, Vincent will be here tonight, I would have loved for you to join us too, but I don’t think it would go down well.”

  “You probably right, I think I should just say my goodbyes now.”

  I almost forgot, today would be my last day with Brent. When I was back home, I couldn’t see us hanging out like we have been. Vincent wouldn’t like it, hell I hadn’t even told him that Brent had been in town. Oh well, what were the chances they would find out at the last minute.

  “Yeah, I don’t know if I’m ready to say goodbye, it’s been great getting to know you again. When will we get to see each other?”

  “Where there’s a will, there’s a way. Remember Caitlin, above everything else, we’re friends, and I will always be here for you. You are special to me, always and forever.” He pushed away from the truck and came to stand in front of me.

  I looked up at him; I couldn’t find the words to tell him how much his friendship meant to me. Without thinking, I flung my arms around his neck and hugged him. His body jerked in shock, but relaxed soon enough. He wrapped his arms around my waist and hugged me back.

  “Thank you so much for everything.” We stood like that for a few minutes, neither of us speaking. I heard someone behind me clearing their throat. I pushed away from Brent and turned around to find Chef Nathaniel standing behind me.

  “You think you’re going to join us today Miss Steward?”

  “Yes sorry, I was just saying goodbye to my friend.”

  Chef turned around and walked into the restaurant.

  “Sorry, I got you into trouble.” Brent took my hand in his and kissed it softly.

  “Shit, what a way to start the day.” I felt a little uncomfortable with the gesture, and pulled my hand from his.

  “Good luck, Caitlin, don’t be a stranger.” Brent turned and got into his truck, I watched as he drove away, out of my life. Would I get to see him again? I really needed to chat to Vincent about this. I was Brent’s friend, and he would just have to accept it.

  The rest of the day flew by so quickly. I had thirty minutes to get home, shower, and get ready for my big night. Walking up to the restaurant, I was looking for Vincent’s car, but it was nowhere to be seen, I texted him, but he didn’t reply. I even tried to get hold of Heather but her phone went to voice mail. Holy fuck, what the hell was happening? Something in my gut was telling me that things weren’t right.

  “Ready for your big night Miss Steward?” Chef Nathaniel was waiting for me outside the door.

  It was time for me to put my game face on. I couldn’t worry about what was happening back home. I needed to focus on the job in front of me. I wanted Chef to be proud of me. I needed this.

  The night went exactly as I had planned. There were a few moments where I nearly broke down, but Chef stepped in and pushed me harder. For those few hours I forgot all my troubles. After the last order had left the kitchen I went to stand by the door, looking out into the dining room. I looked for Vincent’s face, but he wasn’t there. I walked out the kitchen door and around the building to see if his car was parked in the street, but it wasn’t. Where the hell was he? Fuck, what if something had happened to him? I ran into the kitchen and fished my phone out of my bag.

  There were three text messages on my phone.

  Heather: Sorry I missed your call, meetings all day. Good luck for tonight, I believe in you.

  The second message was for an unknown number: Sorry babes, but your man is with me tonight.

  The third message was from Vincent: I am so sorry Caitlin, I lost track of time.

  “FUCKING
BASTARD!!!” The tears streamed down my face, I was so angry. That other message could only have been from Alexis. Well fuck them both, she can have him! I am done with this shit. Fool me once shame on you, fool my twice, shame on me!

  “Miss Steward, language!” I turned around to find Chef standing behind me.

  “S O R R Y!” I could hardly get the words out, I was crying so much.

  “Caitlin, are you ok?” He took a step closer to me, but I stepped back which made him stop.

  “I’m fine. Just an issue at home.” I tried to compose myself; I didn’t want to look like a fool in front of my boss.

  “Ok then, I just wanted to tell you how proud I am of you, what you did tonight was amazing. If ever you decide to make San Diego your home, you will always have a place in my kitchen.”

  “Thank you so much, that means the world to me.” I could not believe what I was hearing, I needed to share it with someone, but that person let me down tonight. He had lost track of time. He was with her, instead of being with me.

  I cleaned up the kitchen, said my goodbyes to my new friends, and walked out.

  I took my phone out my bag and saw that I had six missed calls from Vincent. Too little too late. I was done with him. This was the last time he would hurt me like that.

  I found myself standing outside Dukes and not at home. I needed to share my great news with someone, and at least Brent had made the effort to come see me. At least he had cared enough about my big night. It was already quite late, and most of the patrons were leaving. I stood in front of the big window, looking in. Brent was standing behind the bar pouring drinks. Cassy was sitting on one of the chairs not too far from him. I knew that going in wasn’t a good idea, but I really needed to speak to him. I knew I was being selfish, but I needed him.

  I pulled my phone out of my bag and sent him a text.

  Me: What you doing?

  I watched as he pulled out his phone, there was that cocky grin again.

  Brent: Why, what you doing?

  Me: Watching some cocky bartender texting instead of working.

  His head snapped up looking for me, his eyes found mine in no time.

  Brent: You spying on me now? Come inside and have a drink with me.

  Me: Don’t think that would be a good idea, why don’t you come and have a drink with me, I think I have some beers at home.

  Brent: Deal.

  I watched as he said goodbye to Cassy, grabbed his jacket and walked towards the door. I saw Cassy watching him and then she spotted me. If she could have spit fire, I swear she would have.

  “What are you doing here Princess? I thought Loverboy was going to pick you up from work?”

  “Well that was the plan, but here I am. If you’d like I’ll tell you all about it over drinks.”

  “Deal, where do you want to go?”

  “My place, if that’s ok with you? I’m not really in the mood for crowds.”

  “Cool, my truck’s parked in the back.”

  I think Brent could sense all was not well, we drove home in silence. I didn’t even realised we were home until he opened my door for me.

  “Caitlin, are you ok, you haven’t said a word since we left Dukes?”

  “No I’m not.” The tears started again, I was trying so hard to keep it together but I couldn’t take it anymore.

  He scooped me up in his arms and carried me up to my apartment. He lowered me to my feet in front of my door; took the keys from my trembling hands and opened it.

  I was a complete mess; I sat down on the couch and just cried. Brent disappeared for a few minutes and then came back carrying two cups of coffee. I took a sip, it helped to calm my heart and I was able to tell Brent what had happened. He didn’t say a word, but I remembered seeing that look in his eyes before. It was the day he had knocked Hunter out back in school.

  “So now what Princess? What are you going to do? Have you spoken to him?” I could see he was angry, he was struggling to get the words out.

  “No, I haven’t spoken to him; right now I’m not interested. If spending time with Alexis is more important than my big night, well then I’m done.”

  “Ok, I respect that. So enough of this shit. Tell me how your night went. Did you fall on your face in the pudding or what?” He tried to cheer me up.

  “HA HA, it was great, Chef was impressed with me. He even offered me a job at his restaurant, full time.”

  “That’s amazing; I’m proud of you. You see, I knew you could do it.”

  “You’re the first person I’ve told.”

  “I’m glad you did.” Brent leaned in and hugged me. Just as he did there was a loud knock on my door.

  “Who the hell could be at my door at this time of the night?” I got up and walked to the door, peeping through the hole. I couldn’t believe my eyes.

  “It’s Vincent!!” My heart was pounding in my chest. On the one hand from being angry at him for what he had done, and on the other for the fact that Brent was in my apartment. I didn’t know what to do, I just stood there, frozen.

  “Princess, step out of the way let me handle this.” Brent was standing right behind me. I turned to look at him and the anger I saw in his face scared me.

  “No wait, I need to deal with this.” I put my hand on the door knob, took a deep breath, and opened the door.

  “CAITLIN, darling, I’m so …..” Vincent pushed his way into my apartment and was about to put his arms around me when he spotted Brent, standing behind me.

  “What the fuck are you doing here?” His eyes went wild; he pushed me out of the way to get to Brent.

  Before I could even say a word, Vincent had swung his fist and hit Brent on the mouth. Things happened so quickly after that, there was glass breaking, bodies on the floor, I tried by best to separate them but I was too small to pull them apart.

  “S T O P!!!!!!” I screamed at the top of my lungs, I didn’t even see Heather and Cole running into my apartment. Cole grabbed Vincent and was pulling him off Brent. Heather grabbed Brent’s arm before he threw another punch.

  “Brent, I think you need to go.” Heather turned to Brent and tried to calm him. I was staring at the mess in front of me. How could the best night of my life turn into such chaos in such a short time?

  “I’m not leaving Caitlin alone with that dickhead; I warned him if he hurt her I would be back.” Brent shrugged Heather’s hand off his shoulder and stared walking towards me.

  “Stay the fuck away from my woman; I’ll kick your ass!!” Vincent broke out of Coles’ hold and stormed towards Brent, I quickly jumped between them with my back towards Vincent. I placed my hand on Brent’s chest, holding him back.

  “Just go, Heather is here, I’ll be ok. I’ll speak to you later, just go.” I could see Brent was struggling with what I had just asked him to do, but he respected me. He turned and walked out, slamming the door behind him.

  Chapter 13

  Caitlin

  “How dare you storm into my place and attack my friend, who the hell do you think you are?” Seeing Brent’s face when he had walked out of my apartment, had just sent me over the edge. All the built up anger from earlier came spilling out.

  “Cole, this is the part where we make our selves scarce. I think Caitlin and Vincent have some issues to sort out.” Heather took Cole by the hand and started walking towards the door.

  “If you need me girly, phone. We’ll be waiting downstairs.” Heather kissed me on the cheek and walked out.

  “What the hell was he doing in your apartment? How long has he been in town?” Vincent was shaking with anger.

  “I phoned him. He brought me home because my darling fiancé would much rather spend the night with his red headed slut, than be at my big night!!!” I was screaming at him now. I didn’t give a shit that it was the middle of the night. I was fuming.

  “I asked you how long has he been in town?”

  “Six months!” I looked him straight in the eyes, daring him to react.

  He took a st
ep closer to me, I stood my ground, I was not backing down. He was the one in the wrong, not me. There was nothing between Brent and I, just friendship.

  “He’s been here all this time and you never told me?!”

  “Yes! I never told you because I knew how you would react. We are just friends, nothing more, but I knew you would behave like this, so I didn’t tell you.”

  “I can’t believe you lied to me Caitlin, here you’ve been busting my chops about Alexis, when it’s you who has been cheating on me, with him!”

  My world came tumbling down, I could not believe what had just came out of his mouth.

  “Get out, GET OUT!!!!! I never want to see you again. How could you think that about me? After what you’ve done to me tonight. The SMS I got from your little bitch told me exactly where you were.” I pushed with all the strength I had left in my body, he staggered back, surprised by my reaction.

  “Fine! It’s over, have a nice life. I’m sick of dealing with your hang-ups anyway. I’m done.” He turned and walked out the door, leaving it wide open.

  “Well fuck you too!” I pulled the ring off my finger and flung it at his head. He turned to look at me, and walked away. I looked up to see Bree standing in the hall way.

  The tears streamed down my face. I collapsed on the floor in front of the door. After a few minutes, I felt someone pick me up and carry me to the couch, I opened my eyes to see Cole.

  “Hush now babes, I’m here. Stop crying and tell me what happened here tonight.” I lay my head in Heather’s lap, she placed her hand on my head and stroked my hair.

  Cole disappeared. I think he was making coffee. I could hear cups and voices coming from the kitchen.

  “Vincent forgot my big night. He was with her, and she sent me a text.” My crying had died down a little.

  “Alexis, she sent me a text saying my boyfriend was spending the night with her.”

  “He was in a meeting with all of us, it wasn’t just her. And are you sure it was Alexis that sent the text?”

  “Who else could it have been?” I could not believe Heather had asked me that.