Touch (A Denazen Novel, Book 1)

by Jus Accardo

  I let him pull me on top of him before grabbing both his wrists and pinning them to his sides. Planting tiny kisses all the way from his neck to his belly button, I smiled. The Reaper. My Reaper. I flipped my hair aside and raised my head to watch him. “How does this feel? Tell me.”

  The muscles in his arms tightened and his legs went ridged. “It’s amazing,” he gasped as I resumed my kisses, dropping below his navel. Unbuttoning his jeans, I pushed them down a few inches and paused above the waistband of his boxers for a moment before tugging them down, along with his jeans. As my fingers brushed his hip, he jumped, sucking in a sharp breath. “Oh God…”

  With each shocked gasp and shallow, gasping breath, Kale brought me higher. There was no ceiling with him. Happiness stretched on forever. Every moment I spent with him seemed to find me someplace new—feeling something new. I hadn’t loved Alex. I’d cared about him, yes, but I hadn’t loved him. Not once in all our time together had I ever felt like this. Free. Euphoric. Content.

  Reluctantly, I pulled away. The subject of protection was silly considering his life before me, but I still felt like it was something we both needed to get out. “Um, you’ve never—I mean obviously this is the first time…”

  He trailed a finger across my bare shoulder. “Of course not.” Frowning, he added, “You have, though.”

  It was the last thing he’d want to hear, but I didn’t want there to be any lies between us. “This is kind of awkward… I mean, Alex and I…”

  I tried to draw away, but he stopped me. “That was your past. I am your future. There’s no more Alex?”

  “No more. I know what I want. I just wanted you to know that we’d—I mean I’m on pills because I’ve already… So I can’t…” God. I felt like an idiot.

  Kale didn’t seem to notice. He smiled and pulled me close again. When he kissed me, everything else melted away. Our underwear and Kale’s jeans joined mine on the hotel floor. I settled on top of him, inching down slowly as I watched his face. “No,” I said when he closed his eyes. “Look at me, please.”

  Ice blue eyes burned as he grabbed my face and pulled me to him. “Please…” he pleaded. “I need to…”

  “It’s okay,” I whispered, my own voice thick. “Go ahead.”

  Before I knew what happened, Kale was above me, strands of black hair falling forward. I reached up and pushed them away—I wanted to see his face—no, I needed to see his face. His eyes never left mine. With anyone else, in any other circumstance, that type of scrutiny would have made me squirm, regardless of my self-confidence. With Kale it was different. He wasn’t staring at me, he saw. More clearly than anyone else ever had. It was like a drug and I needed more. I’d always need more—and that still scared me a little. Kale was truly the one fix I’d never get enough of. My nirvana.

  “This can’t be real,” he hissed. “I don’t deserve—”

  “You do,” I insisted. Tears gathered in the corners of my eyes as I silenced further protests with a fierce kiss. Every cell in my body was ready to explode. No outside world. No Denazen. No Dad. Only Kale and me.

  “For me,” he said. It came out as a cross between a choked growl and a whimper. It was shocked, and it was possessive. Full of pain, and laced with joy. “You were made for me.”

  For a brief moment time stood still, then raced forward. The world exploded.

  And there was peace.

  27

  We lay low at Misha’s the entire next day. Kale was fascinated with TV—mostly the commercials. He’d seen a little while at Denazen, but nothing extensive. He couldn’t believe there were so many products for the same purpose. Seven kinds of soda. Three kinds of bathroom cleaner. A hundred different kinds of cars. He couldn’t understand why people needed more than one of something.

  At lunch, breakfast, and dinner, a cart of food mysteriously found its way to the hall outside our door. Each meal was something different and new for Kale, and each time he’d find something that fascinated him. By dinnertime, his favorite was the watermelon Jell-O.

  And of course, there was me. Another thing Kale couldn’t seem to get enough of, which worked out because I couldn’t get enough of him.

  “Tell me this is different,” Kale said sometime after dinner. We were curled up on his bed, snuggled close. He played with a strand of my hair, twirling it between his fingers while his other hand traced feathery circles across my arm. “Tell me this is something special.”

  “It’s something special,” I said, twisting to look at him.

  TV, good food, kissing, cuddling—and a lot more touching. Each time Kale would marvel at the softness of my skin. He would insist it was all a dream because nothing in his life could be this good. For a while, I forgot we were on the verge of something major. Something life-altering. Something dangerous.

  For a while, I forgot about the nagging voice in the back of my head. That voice came with warning bells. Warning bells and big, bright neon signs. I ignored them, even though they were always the elephant in the room.

  Ginger said she’d help Kale learn to control his power. But she’d screwed us. Her promise of handing over the Reaper had been a lie. Sort of. For selfish reasons, I hadn’t questioned her about her other promise. The one to help Kale. In the dark, self-serving corner of my brain, I wanted him to stay as he was. Exactly how he was. I wanted strings. If Kale never changed, then those strings would never choke me. The way I saw it, I’d had to suck face with a lot of frogs to find my prince. I deserved a little happy.

  In the end, though, my conscience won out. I’d have to find Ginger—as long as things didn’t go south—and ask for her help with Kale. He deserved a choice. If that choice in the end wasn’t me, I’d have to live with it. I loved him. I wouldn’t cheat him out of living his life because I wanted him for myself. That’s what Denazen had done. What Dad had done.

  Early the next afternoon, we bid Misha good-bye and set out to gather the costumes we’d need for tonight. Only one costume store stayed open all year round, but I refused to shop there. They were overpriced and the selection was a joke. French maids, gorilla costumes, cowboy hats…nothing original. But I was a resourceful girl. I could improvise. I’d had a killer idea last Halloween, but I’d come down with a wicked cold and never got to follow it through. Now was the perfect chance.

  The costume idea for the rave served two main purposes. The obvious one was it’d be easier for Kale and me to hide in plain sight. They knew we would be there because of the information Mercy had given us, so by being harder to spot, at least we’d be able to move through the crowd more freely. The other reason? The chances of Mercy and Dad not finding out about the last-minute change in theme were in our favor. Knowing Denazen, there was always a possibility, but it was slim. We’d be hidden, and they’d stick out like sore thumbs. Win-win.

  Thanks to a pair of scissors, a pad of paper, and a borrowed twenty in my back pocket, there was enough cash to get us whatever we needed.

  Since it was summer, my costume had been fairly easy. A quick trip to the mall—Target, then Toys R Us and CVS—and I was set. Kale proved a little harder. When he saw what I’d bought, he got nervous about skin exposure, but I assured him I had something different in mind for him. We managed to track down most of what we needed at the mall—black jeans and T-shirt, dark sunglasses and boots—but the leather jacket was a problem.

  “I have a question,” Kale said as we made our way to the leather shop a few blocks away. The sun was starting to set and we needed to hurry if we were going to make it before the store closed.

  I took his hand. “As long as it doesn’t involve a midget and some whipped cream, I’m game.”

  He stopped, eyebrows raised.

  “It’s a joke, go ahead.”

  We started walking again. “What’s going to happen after?”

  “After?”

 
; “This party. When it’s over, then what?”

  “What do you mean, then what?”

  “What will happen to me?”

  “Happen? Nothing’s going to happen. You’re free to live your life now. You can go wherever you want and do whatever you like.”

  “Go?”

  “Yeah, like travel.”

  His eyes sparkled.

  “There’s an entire world out there, Kale. Things you can’t even imagine. Fascinating sights to see, interesting people to meet…” Pretty girls to kiss. Damn it.

  He smiled. “I want to see all the places I’ve read about. I want to sail on ships and feel sand between my toes.” The smile got wider. “I want to sleep under the stars and swim in the ocean.”

  “Good goals,” I said quietly.

  He nodded. “Goals, I like that. I have goals now. It feels nice! What about you? What are yours?”

  I laughed. “Mine? I don’t think I’ve ever really had any. Other than pissing off my dad, I’m pretty unmotivated.”

  “So you can make some. When this is over, we can travel to all these places and you can come up with your own list.”

  The look on his face could have lit the corners of the darkest spaces on earth. It made my words taste bitter. “Kale, I don’t know if I’ll be able to leave when this is over. Someday, yeah, but I’m not sure how soon. You might have to go without me.”

  Kale stopped, grabbing my arm. “All these places I want to go don’t exist without you. All my goals come from one place. You. You are my biggest goal. That’s not wrong, is it?”

  “No.” I hesitated. “But you can’t stop living your life for me. I don’t know what’s going to happen with my mom. I got cheated out of seventeen years. I want to get to know her… That won’t happen if we manage to free her and I run off.”

  A few moments of silence ticked by, and the leather shop came into site. Thankfully, the lights inside were still on.

  “But we can still be together, right? Even if we stay here?”

  “Of course. I’ll be here as long as you want me, Kale. And when possible, I’ll follow you to the ends of the earth if that’s where you want to go. I just need to square things up first.”

  “As long as I know this”—he lifted our joined hands—“is mine to hold, I’ll wait for you forever.”

  I hoped so.

  The clerk hadn’t been happy about staying late. She glared daggers at us until I slapped down the three hundred and forty-two dollars cash I’d mimicked from several pieces of toilet paper back at the hotel. She’d closed the day with a nice sale, and we left with a gorgeous black motorcycle jacket.

  Now, all the parts of our costumes collected, we needed a place to get ready. Kale wasn’t thrilled with the idea of trekking all the way back to the hotel, but we didn’t have another choice. The same woman sat behind the desk when we walked in, this time her smile slightly more genuine than before. Slightly.

  “I hate to be a pain, but could we go back up to the room and get ready?”

  She held out a set of keys. “Go to room 309 instead. There’s someone up there waiting for you.”

  No one knew we were here, much less coming back again tonight. I was instantly suspicious. “Someone waiting for me?”

  It must have been obvious, because the woman said, “Not to worry. He’s a friend.” She frowned. “Sort of.”

  Now I was curious. Still a little worried, but curious.

  “Wait,” Kale said as I reached for the door. “Me first.” He sidestepped me and pushed the door open, stepping inside. I was right behind him.

  On one of the beds, tossing back a cold one and watching TV, was Brandt’s friend Sheltie. He saw us and smiled, waving. “Thank God. I wasn’t sure you would be coming back.”

  Kale still stood in front of me, shoulders tense. “Who are you?”

  “Christ, you’re still here?” The guy peered around Kale and crooked a finger at me. “I need to talk to you.”

  I turned to Kale. “This is Sheltie, he’s”—I swallowed and corrected myself—“he was my cousin Brandt’s friend.” Turning back to Sheltie, I asked, “What are you doing here? I thought you were leaving town.”

  “That’s a good question—one I’d be glad to answer, but it’s complicated.”

  Kale snorted. “Have you not heard? Everything is complicated.”

  I glanced back at the door, and then to the clock on the night table. We had a little less than two hours. “It’s not gonna take long, is it? We kinda have somewhere to be.”

  He nodded. “I know.” Taking a deep breath, he launched into it. “It’s me.”

  I stared at him. “You’re high, aren’t you?”

  “Look at me. Really look. Don’t you see it?”

  I tried to take a step toward him, but Kale grabbed my arm. “What am I looking for exactly?”

  Sheltie frowned. “If anyone can see it, it’ll be you. Try. Look harder.”

  I scanned his face, his clothing, everything looked the same as before. “Sorry. Don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  “Brandt. I’m Brandt.”

  My eyes started to water and I turned away, horrified. “You’re a sick puppy, you know that?”

  “Dez, I know how this sounds. You have to trust me. Technically, I’m Brandt. And now Sheltie, too.”

  “Wow, you Denazen assholes must lock yourselves away in a room with a bottle of Jack and a bag of really good weed to come up with this crap.” I jerked free of Kale’s grasp and stepped forward, fingers itching. “Was it you? Did you kill Brandt?”

  When Sheltie didn’t answer, Kale snapped. “Answer her.”

  Sheltie jumped off the bed, ignored him, and backed toward the window. “Dez, listen to me, I’m serious. It’s really me.”

  “Do you think I’m an idiot? I saw them taking Brandt’s body away that morning. Uncle Mark saw him. Dead.”

  “It’s not that simple. I told you back at my funeral. I’m a Six. Something called a soul jumper. We’re rare, there’s only like four of us out there. When my heart stopped beating, my soul jumped into the body of the closest person. Sheltie.”

  “I don’t believe you.”

  “When we were little we went on that camping trip. You and I got lost in the woods.”

  Kale stiffened. “Couldn’t anyone get that information?”

  He was right. Anyone, especially people with connections like Denazen, could find a ton of tiny, intimate details about my life. Hell, the newspaper had done a big story on it. Sold a ton of copies. They’d touted Aunt Cairn as a neglectful parent, leaving young children to play in a dangerous area unsupervised. Later they retracted the statement, but the damage had been done.

  I needed solid proof. “The tree house in your backyard. There was a metal lockbox. What did we keep in it?”

  He smiled. “A blue Hot Wheels car and your Hello Kitty notebook. Our most prized possessions.”

  I felt sick. Only two people knew that. One of them was supposed to be dead. “So where did Sheltie go?”

  Smile gone, he bent his head and pulled the damn skateboard wheel from his pocket. Tossing it into the air, he caught it and said, “Dunno. He was just gone—not that I’m sorry. Bastard offed me. He showed up at the house saying he had info on Denazen. I let him in and boom. No more Brandt. As soon as my heart stopped, I jumped into his body. I’ve been trying to decide if I should tell you or not.”

  “This is not happening…”

  “The other catch is, apparently each time I jump into a new Six’s body, I keep their gift. Sheltie had the ability to visit people’s dreams. I tried to warn you in a dream, but it didn’t come out right. I was disoriented, still fresh from the jump.”

  “That was you?”

  He nodded again and my
stomach churned. This was the biggest mind-screw ever.

  “Yep. I’m still me, though. The same guy you’ve known your entire life. It’s weird, I have all my old memories, but I have all this guy’s memories, too.”

  “This is really messed up.”

  “Want to talk about messed up? I remember Sheltie killing me. It was like killing myself. Try that on for size.”

  I couldn’t imagine having to live with that kind of memory. “That’s horrible.”

  “No, horrible is, you’re my best friend—my cousin—and all I can think about is how hot you look right now.”

  “Oh my God…”

  Next to me Kale snarled.

  I grabbed his hand and gulped. “I think I might puke.”

  “Right back atcha.”

  “So what about Sheltie?”

  “He was working for your father. After I left the Graveyard, I started digging. It’s amazing what you can find if you look hard enough. I guess when I found too much, though, they sent Sheltie. He said I’d officially crossed the line and my time was up. Dude pulled out a knife and that’s the last thing I remember until I woke up in his body. I didn’t know what to do, so I tracked down Misha and explained what happened. She’s been helping me gather information about Soul Jumpers.”

  He turned to Kale. “This is your fault. If you hadn’t gone home with her that night, things would still be normal.”

  I smacked him upside the head. “Normal? What they’re doing at Denazen isn’t normal!”

  Kale nodded in agreement. “Denazen needs to be stopped.”

  He glared at Kale then turned to me. “You know what I mean.”