Saving Sullivan

by Sara Hubbard

  She runs her hand across the top of her head, smoothing her hair. She’s a pretty woman, maybe ten years or so older than me. There’s something about her that’s kind of infectious. It’s like she has positive energy about her that makes you feel comfortable.

  “Don’t worry. You’ll be great. You’ll get all the experience you need here and then some. And when Old Mr. Carver calls and asks you to come up to his room to tell you his balls aren’t the same size—and he wants you to have a peek—I’ll let you examine him all by your lonesome.”

  “That’s very kind of you.” I shake my head to try and remove the image. “You’ll have to point him out to me so I can avoid him.”

  “Oh, you don’t need me to point him out. Take a walk down by the pool when July hits and you’ll pick him out pretty easy in his little brown speedo a la camel toe.”

  I scrunch up my face just before she bursts out laughing and slaps my back.

  “Anyway, don’t waste your day here. Go and get settled in. It’s initiation night tonight so all the employees will be getting together for a bonfire at the Cave—that’s down by the beach.”

  “Oh. I’m sure that will be fun, but I don’t really know anyone and I’m not really good around people. I always manage to stay stupid or inappropriate things.”

  “What? Don’t be stupid.”

  Um?

  “I’m off at seven. Meet me down there. I’ll introduce you to some people. You’re going to have a fun summer, I promise.”

  “Sure. But I’m not really the party type. I—"

  “I’m not taking no for an answer. I’ll see you there at seven, okay? And put on something decent.”

  “Something decent?” I whisper as she places her hands on my shoulders and turns me around, ushering me toward the entrance to the clinic. What’s wrong with what I've got on?

  Four

  AT GUEST SERVICES, I wait in line for almost twenty minutes to get the key to my room. I’m in a cabin that holds sixteen people and am apparently sharing my room with another girl. I’m nervous to meet her. I want her to like me. I want to like her. This summer is going to be long enough without having a difficult roommate. She could be loud or inconsiderate, or stay up all night when I’m trying to sleep. I mean, I'm working shifts—hopefully¸ she’ll understand.

  I drag my luggage behind me down the trail toward the staff cabins. My suitcase isn't one of the modern ones that tilt on wheels, but it’s got a fabric strap to pull. It keeps falling over and after a half dozen times, I’m all but growling each time I have to stop to right it.

  The cabin is cedar and two stories tall, with a red wooden door and planted flowers at the base of the windows. It reminds me of something from a fairy tale and I snap a picture for Facebook so Clay and my best friend Julia will be able to see it.

  I put my hand on the front door knob and turn it to find it unlocked. Inside, a small entryway leads to a short hallway followed by a sitting area with a galley-style kitchen to the left. They’re separated by a long island that’s almost the length of the counter. No TV in the sitting room, and not even a microwave in the kitchen. Oh well. Suits me just fine. It just means the TV won’t be on late and loud and I won’t have to ask someone to keep it down if I’m sleeping. My brother Michael is awful for doing stuff like that, and he’s usually fallen asleep on the couch when I’ve had enough and go to ask him to turn it off.

  There are four bedrooms and two bathrooms on each floor; two bedrooms to the east and two to the west, with a full bathroom in between, which means I’m sharing with three other people. Just like home. I’m on the second floor, in the bedroom on the west side. There’s an amazing view of the lake. In the distance I can see people jumping off an anchored wooden raft and half naked bodies lined up on the manmade sand, tanning. I open the window and breathe in the crisp air. I can smell the lilacs below the window, the cedar in the cabin and something a little smoky, like maybe someone has lit a wood fire nearby.

  “Hello?” a perky voice says.

  I spin around, clutching my heart. “Oh my God. You scared me.”

  A blonde stands in the doorway, wearing a bathing suit top and cut up shorts that are so short you can probably see her ass cheeks from behind. She’s voluptuous, tanned, and undeniably beautiful. Her eyes are the color of honey and I feel like a troll in comparison to her.

  “Sorry," she says. "I’m Nicole. We must be roomies.”

  “Yes! Of course.” I remove my backpack and drop it onto my unmade single bed. Nicole and I shake hands and then take seats on our beds. The mattress is firm and doesn’t give an inch as I drop onto it. It should make for an interesting sleep. My mattress at home is so soft you’d swear it was stuffed with feathers.

  We do quick introductions. You know, the where did you come from, how many siblings do you have, is this your first time here, blah, blah, blah. This is her third summer here and she’s from Markham, Ontario. She’s a server at the restaurant.

  “A nursing student!” she says after I tell her why I’m here. “Awesome. I always wanted to be a nurse, but I suck at sciences. I mean, suck. Barely got through high school biology and I think my teacher only passed me because I dated his son.”

  “What do you do when you’re not here?”

  She sighs. “Not a hell of a lot. I’ve been in an extra in some movies. Modelled a little bit, but I also wait tables in an upscale restaurant in Toronto. Waiting for my big break. I’m just not willing to go to Hollywood to get it.”

  “I’m sure it will happen.”

  She chuckles. “Thanks for saying so. There’s some film industry in Toronto but not like Hollywood. Still, I get the odd part in some indie films and it’s enough. For now.”

  “That sounds so interesting.”

  “It can be. But enough about that—let’s get you settled in so we can start the summer off right.”

  I purse my lips. Start the summer off right...?

  “Trust me. We’re going to have fun.”

  After a quick call to my dad and brothers—where I shed more than a few tears because I already miss them like crazy—Nicole helps me make my bed. She mocks me when I do forty-five degree angles on the corners. “Jeez, what are you, like, in the military or something?”

  “Nurse. Have to make my bed just right.”

  We set up things from home that make me feel a little more welcome, like photos of my family and our cottage by the lake.

  Nicole picks up the photo of Clay and whistles. “This your brother?”

  I nod. “That’s Clay. He’s the oldest.”

  “He’s yummy.”

  I make a face. “Ugh. He’s my brother.”

  “Brother or not, I’d do him.”

  I fake retching, which makes Nicole laugh out loud.

  Her phone rings, interrupting us. At first, she’s smiling into her phone, talking sweetly, but soon after she’s rolling her eyes and flashing her middle finger at her phone. Well, okay then. The person on the other end is so obviously her boyfriend. I feel awkward sitting there, but she doesn’t seem to care that I can hear her fighting with him. I pull my laptop out, in an effort to at least look like I’m not paying attention. I set it on the desk and let out a quiet whoop when I discover we have free internet here. I check Facebook and post some pictures of Banff and my new cabin. I also Facebook message Julia. I’d call her, but this summer she’s doing her final placement in a clinic in Mexico! Can you say expensive? I’m not sure she’ll get my messages until the end of the summer but sending them to her makes me feel like we’re still connected. I let out a quiet gasp when I find she’s already messaged me.

  Internet in town, but it’s slower than molasses! Sooo hot down here. Already have a burn. Miss you! Post pictures. Especially of hot boys ;-)

  Hot boys? Oh, Julia. Her mind never strays far from the opposite sex. Something tells me she’d love Sullivan…

  The photos from my phone automatically download to my laptop and pop up in a window. I browse through them,
along with photos of my brothers, my dad, and the last photo of Sullivan’s license. I stop at the photo and sigh, leaning back in my chair. He really is handsome. But he really is all wrong for a girl like me—perhaps any girl, really. But holy hell I like being around him—he makes me laugh. I wonder if we will really become friends, if we aren’t already?

  I pull myself from my thoughts and post the picture of the cabin on Facebook and tag Julia and Clay before adding a little note about my new home away from home. Nicole catches my attention as I’m scrolling through my newsfeed.

  “Fuck!” Nicole cries out as she tosses her phone onto the bed.

  “What’s wrong?” I say quickly, fearing the cabin is on fire.

  She shakes her head. “Oh, my stupid boyfriend. He’s so jealous. Always asking me where I’m at and who I’m with. If I’ve talked to other guys today…” She rolls her eyes. “What they look like…He’s driving me insane, I swear.”

  “Oh.” I want to say something to make her feel better but I’m the last person in the world who should offer advice on boys.

  “Anyway, screw him,” she says, feigning a smile. “Let’s finish getting you set up.”

  I nod, grateful for her change of subject, and close my laptop. She stands and unzips my luggage before diving in. I have a quick moment of outrage that she’d feel comfortable doing this without asking, but then I don’t want to make an enemy of her. We’ll be living together for ten weeks, after all.

  We hang up the few things I’ve brought: ten hangers total used and most of what’s hanging is scrubs. I planned on working all summer and putting in extra shifts just to pass the time, so I just didn’t think I'd need much. From the look on Nicole’s face, she isn’t impressed with my clothing choices—they're old and tattered and pretty casual.

  She stares into my closet, sighing. “Well, this won’t do. You can borrow something of mine.”

  “Um…where are we going?” I haven’t agreed to go out tonight and she’s already planning. I don’t even know where we’re going. To be honest, I imagined myself curling up in bed tonight with a book and sleeping off the jet lag. But Nicole insists on going down to the Cave. This is the third time I’ve heard about this place today and I have to admit I’m a little curious about it.

  “The Cave is the place to be,” she says. “Anyone who’s anyone at this resort goes there. They’ll be a bonfire, music and swimming—or skinny-dipping, if you want.” She flashes me a wink.

  Skinny dipping? Awesome. In my granny panties? No, I don’t think so. I have the immediate thought that my brothers will kill me, but for the first time in my life, they aren’t here to look over my shoulder. Still, I’m not sure that when my dad told me to have fun and live a little, he meant for me to get naked at a lake with a bunch of strangers, and I’m not exactly comfortable with the idea.

  Nicole introduces me to some of the other girls in the cabin, although a good number of them have already left for the Cave. Most of them are nice but there are a couple who really don’t seem too interested to meet me—they can’t get away from me fast enough. Nicole must see the hurt in my face because she wraps her arm around my shoulders as she leads me from the cabin.

  “Don’t worry about Tina and Hailey. They’re bitches. Unless you’re a guest with money, they’d rather you didn’t waste their time. They’re here to find a rich husband and that’s about it.”

  Interesting. No one from where I come from is like that. People are friendly; they want to socialize. Some of the people here, though...they're different. Intimidating. I just don’t feel comfortable around them like I do at home. Plus, I always seem to say the wrong thing. People at home just laugh at me when I do, but I don’t feel like people here would do the same. They’ll probably just talk about me behind my back.

  We walk to the Cave with another girl named Ella. She lives in the cabin next door to ours, and has been friends with Nicole for a couple of summers now. Ella’s from somewhere up north—I didn’t recognise the name of the place but I'd have felt stupid admitting to that, so I smiled and nodded and pretended to know. She’s nice. Right petite with a blonde pixie haircut and delicate features, and I swear she has the cutest button nose I’ve ever seen on someone who isn’t a child.

  The sun is setting, making the sky over the mountains look like it’s caught fire. Oranges, reds and yellow. As we approach the Cave, I can smell the burning wood from the bonfire and hear the crowd talking and laughing. Water splashes as guys toss girls into the water. I make a note to stay away from all that, considering I’m wearing a white tank top. But then I brought a sweater, just in case.

  We head to the bonfire. There are about a dozen collapsible chairs around it. Just as we approach, some guy punches another and they exchange some curses. I feel a little nervous and with Nicole’s arm locked with mine, she picks up on it.

  “Don’t worry," she says. "See, someone's breaking it up.”

  We walk along the beach with our shoes off. Nicole smiles widely and jogs ahead, jumping into a guy’s arms before wrapping her legs around his middle. She kisses him once and then again, this time deeper and longer. When she comes up for air, she drops to her feet and waves us over.

  “Abby, Ella, this is Taylor, my boyfriend.”

  We both nod. I’m a little confused because it seemed as if they were fighting earlier; now it seems like their problems are all forgotten. The guy looks like a badass, all tattoos and muscles. His dark hair is long and pulled back into a ponytail. When he smiles, it’s insincere. I can’t explain—I just don’t get a great feeling about him and it has nothing to do with how he looks. “We’re just going in the water,” he says.

  There’s a guy behind him, a little shorter but just as built. He’s wearing nothing but swim trunks and his abs are so defined I could probably bounce a quarter off them. “Come on in.”

  Nicole strips down to her bikini and tosses her clothes in the sand. “You coming?” she asks, looking first to Ella and then over at me.

  I look at the water. The moist sand is cold enough on my toes; I don’t think I need to try the water to know it’s too cold for me right now. “I don’t think so.”

  Ella shakes her head, and Nicole calls us spoiled sports before jogging into the water with the two guys.

  I stare after them. “That’s her boyfriend, huh?”

  Ella shrugs, her face expressionless. “They met last summer and started dating almost a week ago. First night she got here, actually. He’s a bartender at some bar in town. I think he’s married. Or separated or something…”

  “How old is he?” I bite at my nails, a touch worried for my new friend.

  “Don’t know. Late twenties. Maybe thirties. Don’t worry, Abby. Nicole’s a big girl, and trust me when I say I’d be more worried about him than her.”

  Huh. I’m not sure what she's implying, but Nicole and Ella have known each other for a few summers so I trust her to know better.

  As we head back to the bonfire the chilly air hits me all of a sudden and I slide my arms into my sweater, folding my arms across my chest and rubbing my arms for warmth. I keep my eyes out for Alice, but she’s nowhere to be found. It makes me wonder what she got up to or she got up to it with. Ella introduces me to everyone that stops to talk to her, but I feel like I’m listening in on conversations rather than engaging in them. I sit and smile and count the minutes until it’s time to leave. Soon I’m just too tired to fake contentedness.

  “I think I’m going to head back.”

  Ella has had a few drinks and she’s enjoying herself, laughing and talking. She frowns at me. “By yourself?”

  “Yeah. But that’s fine. It’s like two minutes away.”

  She thinks for a minute and asks me for my phone. She taps in her number and snaps a selfie with her mouth open and smiling. I laugh as she hands it back. “Text me when you get there.”

  “Sure thing.” I pad through the sand, shoes in hand, the rough particles pushing in between my toes. My hair is down and I
pull it over my shoulder to braid it down my chest, but the crisp night air blows fine pieces against my forehead and cheeks. I push them away as I trudge up the sand toward the boardwalk. Nicole play-fights with her boyfriend by the water. Our gazes meet and she screams at me to wait, but I wave to her and keep going.

  The trail back to the cabin is poorly lit, with only a few wrought iron lanterns flickering ahead. I must've taken a wrong turn because I find myself in an area that I don’t recognize, or maybe I hadn’t paid attention to it when we walked to the lake. Shit. I stop and spin around, looking ahead and behind me. I hear partying—maybe I’ve accidentally gone back to the beach—so I forge ahead, my strides small, my footsteps quieter. When I break through the trees on either side of the trail, grand cabins with lush gardens lie just ahead, which means I’ve managed to make it to the other side of the resort. I thought I walked a little too far.

  I sigh, unsure of the quickest way to get to my room.

  In front of one of the posh cabins is a group of guys standing in a circle, smoking. The lights are on inside and through the window I see a herd of people standing around drinking while the music blares. I lock eyes with one of the guys outside. He has shaggy hair and he looks a little out of place in this part of the neighbourhood, with a black t-shirt on, black jeans and big hiking boots. He nods to me, smiling.

  I scratch my head and approach the guys. “Um, excuse me. I’m trying to get back to the staff cabins. Any chance you know the way?”

  The out-of-place guy steps forward, dropping his cigarette to the ground and stomping on it. “I can help you.”

  One of the other guys pats him on his back. “Sure you can, mate,” he says in a very thick British accent.

  “Fuck off,” out-of-place guy says, chuckling, before turning to me. “I’ll walk you.”

  I chew my lip. “No, I’m good. I just need pointing in the right direction.”

  His friends disperse and head inside, leaving us alone in the semi-dark, with my heart beating faster than normal. The guy looks normal, but then I’m sure some people thought that of Jeffrey Dammer and to be honest, having cops in my family, I’ve been raised to be a little suspicious of people. Sure, I’d taken a ride from Sullivan earlier but I’d kept him honest by taking a picture and letting him believe I texted it to my cop brother. He didn’t know I was just calling his bluff—well, in case he was a murderer or rapist, that is. Plus I spent time with him on the plane. Sullivan’s a player but I had a feeling he was a good guy deep down, and I’ve been taught to trust my instincts. This guy…I just don’t know.