Saving Sullivan

by Sara Hubbard

  “Tubing?” I ask, not really sure what that means.

  “So basically,” Sullivan begins, talking fast like he’s a kid, “we’re going out on a boat and we’re going to pull you behind it on an innertube. It’s like jet skiing but…on a tube.”

  “What? That’s sounds awesome.” I say. “When are you going?”

  The cabin phone begins to rings and Sullivan heads toward the handset on the far wall. “We’re just waiting for some of the other guys. Maybe a half hour.” He picks up the phone. “Yep. Sullivan speaking.” He closes his eyes and sighs before opening his eyes and holding up his index finger to me. Then, he walks into this room and shuts the door.

  “That doesn’t look good,” I say quietly.

  “That’s the look of a phone call from Daddy.”

  “I think you’re right.”

  “Of course I’m right. I’ve known Sullivan for ages. Certainly longer than a few weeks.” He takes another drink.

  I ignore the dig and force a smile, refusing to allow his constant picking to get at me. When Sullivan’s in the room he’s always pleasant, but the moment Sullivan isn’t around, he turns into someone different. I know he doesn’t like me and the feelings are quickly becoming mutual.

  “Do you mind if I grab something to eat before we go? I missed lunch today.”

  He shrugs. “You practically live here.”

  Sigh.

  I raid the fridge, digging out mayo, mustard, turkey, ham, provolone, tomatoes and pickles before snatching chips off the top of the fridge. Sullivan has this thick homemade bread we got from a bakery in town the other day, so I help myself to a couple of slices. I put everything I can find on my sandwich, including the chips. Ames just stares at me with his bottle pressed to his lips. When I’m done, my sandwich is epic and it’s taller than my fist. I’m salivating just looking at it. As I pick it up, some of the lettuce and pickles fall off.

  “So what’s the deal with you and Sullivan anyway?”

  “He’s your friend—why don’t you ask him?”

  “Wow. You’re a spunky little thing, aren’t you?” He doesn’t wait for a response, unless you count me giving him the stink eye. “Sullivan does like a challenge.”

  I take a big bite and chew hard.

  “You know how long I’ve known Sullivan for?” When I shake my head, he tells me to take a guess.

  I talk with my mouth full, basically telling him to just go ahead and tell me.

  “Four years,” he says. “We were freshman roommates at LAU together.”

  “How nice for you.”

  “Care to guess what his longest relationship was during that time?”

  I swallow my bite. “I’m sure you’re going to tell me.”

  “Eleven days. And even though he seemed to like the girl, he still fucked a half dozen women during those eleven days.”

  I sigh and drop my sandwich on the plate. “Okay, Ames. Why don’t you tell me what you really want to say?”

  “By the fall, he won’t even remember your name, and he and I will continue to party and meet girls. Carpe diem.”

  “Sullivan and I are just friends, Ames.”

  “Fuck friends, though, right? You’re just a piece of ass to him.” He picks up a pickle from my plate and takes a bite. The pickle crunches from within his smiling mouth. “Dean left because of you, and now Sullivan is so fucking wrapped up in you, he’s inviting you out with us every time we fucking go out. This was supposed to be our last summer before starting work in the fall.”

  “Would you like me not to come today, Ames? Is that what you’re after?” I try not to be offended. Ames has never been rude or nasty to me. Now, I see that he was just picking his moment. For whatever reason, he’s threatened by me. I don’t want to come between Sullivan and Ames but I’m so irritated right now, I’m not going to back down. Ames will just have to put up with me today.

  Ames is about to answer when Sullivan’s bedroom door opens, and he slams it shut before stalking toward us. Ames glares at me, daring me to tell Sullivan about our conservation. Of course I won’t. Not because of any loyalty I have to him, but because I think telling Sullivan will give Ames want he wants: a scene. I’m sure he’d twist it around and make Sullivan think I’m trying to come between them. No. Screw him.

  “Everything okay?” I ask.

  He feigns a smile. “Peachy.” He drops the phone onto the couch and heads into the kitchen. He points to my sandwich. “What the hell is that?”

  “Supper?” I say.

  He laughs and pulls me in to plant a kiss on my lips. “Come eat in my room. Ames, call us when they get here?”

  “Sure thing, buddy.”

  Sullivan takes my hand and leads me into his room. He closes the door behind us and takes the plate, setting it down on the night table. Before I can utter a word he’s undressing me. As I stand naked before him, he scoops me up and gently drops me on his bed, making me giggle as he removes his shirt before climbing on top of me.

  He kisses me, urgently, with enough force to feel as if he might bruise my lips. When he breaks away, I smooth his hair back and smile. “You sure you’re okay?”

  “I want to be inside you right now. That’s it.”

  I nod, knowing he’s not being completely honest, but not exactly caring either. I keep telling myself he’ll talk to me when he’s ready, but I’m starting to wonder if he’ll ever open up. He told me about his family and that was a big step; I have a feeling, however, that I might not get much more.

  As his lips claim my mine, travelling along my jaw to my ear, his hand slides up my thigh and he parts my inner lips before slipping a single finger inside, followed by another. I gasp as he pumps in and out. I can feel how wet I am right now and my insides clench and unclench with his movement. I grab his hand to make him quicken his pace. His breath is in my ear and I’m panting in his, unable to control myself.

  “Please,” I beg.

  He answers by removing his fingers and guiding his erection inside of me, plunging in deep and letting out a satisfied grunt. I grip his firm ass and pull him close, pushing and pulling to help his movement, though he doesn’t exactly need it. I slide my hands up his slick back, dragging my nails along his flesh so he shivers under my touch.

  “I can almost forget everything else when we’re like this,” he whispers in my ear.

  I moan and arch my back, feeling close as he picks up speed. His forehead tips down to touch mine and we find our release together as we pant into each other's mouths.

  “Why can’t I tire of you?” he murmurs. “I’m finished and I want you again.”

  “I’m ready when you are,” I tease.

  He cups my cheeks and stares into my eyes, as if searching for something. Then slowly, he leans forward and gives me the gentlest of kisses. When he rolls off of me, he pulls me against his chest, my back to his front, and wraps his arms around me. I run my fingertips down his warm, smooth skin.

  “The night I trashed the cabin, you remember I told you I couldn’t lose my job…?”

  I nod and wait for him to continue. I fear if I open my mouth, he’ll clam up. I knew he remembered that night, even though he tried to make me think he’d forgotten.

  “My father made me a deal: come here and keep a job for the summer, and I could keep my trust fund and do what I want in the fall. Otherwise I have to go work for him at his company or be cut off. He thinks I’ll fail. He’s counting down the days until he can say he was right.”

  “If you did lose your job, would working for him be so bad?”

  “I’d rather be penniless.”

  “What did he say when you talked to him earlier?”

  “He’s been checking up on me…talking to Human Resources and my manager. I wouldn’t be surprised if at some point he ensures they find a reason to fire me.”

  “Would he really do that?”

  He scoffs. “Absolutely. There’s a clause that says he can take my trust and my shares in the company if I don�
��t work at Hope Media, Inc. Me coming here was him giving me an out, because he assumed I’d fail. Never had a job before in my life. He thought I was an easy bet.”

  “Clearly, he doesn’t know you. Because I’d bet on you. Always.”

  He rolls me over and brushes my hair out of my eyes. “Don’t fuck me over, Abby. Okay?”

  “I would never do that. I’ll be in your life for as long as you want me.”

  He kisses me again as Ames calls out from the living room.

  “They’re on their way! Let’s go, lover boy.”

  He shakes his head, his nose rubbing against mine. My mother used to call this nose nuzzling and with her it was comforting and warm. With Sullivan it feels very intimate, like he’s letting down his barriers and opening up just enough to let me peek at who he is on the inside. “Ames. He’s confused by us.”

  That makes two of us, then. I kiss him again and get out of bed to put my clothes back on.

  Later, by the water, Sullivan introduces me to his friends, Chaz and Ryan. They’re okay guys, especially Chaz, who holds out his hand to help me onto the speedboat. He’s a grinner. I don’t think the smile has left his face since they pulled up to the marina.

  Ryan drives the boat first. Ames and Chaz are first up on the tubes. We drag them behind the boat and they bounce up and down, skimming along the water. I’m smiling wide and so is Sullivan. Ryan picks up speed. The water sprays a fine mist around us and I hold my hand over my eyes to avoid the glare of the blazing sun. Today might be the hottest day of the summer so far.

  Ames and Chaz are on their asses, facing the rear of the boat. Water sprays them and they sway side to side; at one point Ames hits a wave and dives over Chaz, crossing the ropes. Sullivan hoots and hollers, and I can hear Ames yelling from behind us as he lifts one hand off the handgrip and fist pumps the air.

  I can’t help but laugh out loud, even if I don’t like him that much.

  Ryan hits the accelerator, and we’re zooming along until finally Chaz hits a wave and jumps up about three feet in the air before crashing down and going ass over teakettle. Ames is next to fall off and we slow down, turn around and collect them.

  “Who’s next?” Chaz says, shaking the water off of himself like a dog after he climbs in the boat. I hold my hands out to protect myself from the water flying from his hair.

  “You and me, baby,” Sullivan says, grabbing my hand and pulling me up.

  “Baby?” Chaz and Ryan say at the same time, glancing back and forth between Sullivan and me.

  “Fuck off,” Sullivan says punching each of them in the gut.

  We climb onto the tubes and I’m so ready to go. I let out a little yell in all my excitement, which earns me the most sincere smile from Sullivan. He looks like all of his problems have left his mind, and he’s just living for the moment. I like this look. I want to see it again.

  Ryan picks up speed and I tighten my grip on the rope handle. On the boat, I felt how fast we were going, but being back here is another thing entirely. I’m soaked with water and my ass is bruised with each wave we bounce over, but man, I frigging love it. Sullivan and I are matched in the volume of our screams. He nods to me and points in my direction; I shake my head. He’s going to jump me.

  Oh shit, oh shit.

  I close my eyes and grip the handle harder. I feel the splash and hear the whoosh as he zooms over my head, and when I open my eyes, he’s hitting the water on the other side of me.

  I’m smiling so hard my cheeks hurt.

  The boat picks up and its wake produces higher waves and we’re hitting the wake trailing behind the boat. I jump each of them with more and more force until I bounce hard enough that I fly right off the tube. The water was cold before, but being submerged is fricking freezing! I break through the water and scream.

  “Shit, that’s cold!”

  Sullivan is about ten feet from me and swims toward me. It’s then that I realize I’ve lost my bathing suit bottoms.

  “Sullivan! I lost my pants!”

  “What?” When he reaches me, he’s wearing a shit-eating-grin if I ever saw one and I punch him hard on the shoulder for finding my desperate situation amusing.

  “My pants! I have nothing on my ass!”

  He reaches out to cup my naked ass cheeks.

  “Sullivan, help me find them!”

  “Why? I like you like this.”

  “You want your friends to see me naked?”

  He laughs out loud and then swims away, searching the water. The boat pulls up beside me and Chaz reaches out his hand to help me up.

  “No! I lost my pants.”

  “What?" He busts out laughing while Ryan lifts his shades, leaning over the boat to look in the water. Pervert.

  “Can you grab my shorts?” I ask, shivering in the water.

  Sullivan swims up alongside me and grips my ass with one hand while handing me my bathing suit bottom with the other. I slide my legs through the holes before climbing onto the landing on the back of the boat. Sullivan is still laughing when he pulls himself up beside me.

  “How was that?” he asks. “I mean, other than losing your pants.”

  I punch him in the chest and he wraps his arm around my neck, pretending to wrestle with me, which effectively results in a kissing session not exactly polite for company.

  Thirteen

  WHEN I GET home, I check Facebook to find three missed messages. Five missed calls wait on my cell: one from dad, one from Dylan and three from Clay. Shit.

  I call Dad first and he tells me all about his latest date. Apparently he and Gilda have hit it off and are seeing a lot of each other. It makes me feel as if I’m missing out. Dad hasn’t dated in forever and he might need me and I’m here, a million miles away.

  “I’m so happy for you,” I tell him. “When are you going out again?”

  “Tonight.”

  “You’ll have to tell me all about it tomorrow.”

  “I will. But enough about me, what about you? Your brothers seem to think you’re hiding something. Clay is convinced you’re seeing someone.”

  I sigh into the phone. I can tell my dad about Sullivan, but Clay, Michael and Dylan? Not so much. “I am, Dad. I just don’t know if it will last. It kind of scares me, you know, taking a leap of faith like this. If you let someone in, they have so much power over you.”

  “Feeling something is better than feeling nothing at all,” he says quietly. “Trust me, I’ve been there for eleven years. I almost forgot what it feels like to have someone make you smile—really smile.”

  Yeah. I know exactly what he means. When Dad and I hang up, I move on to Dylan, who’s with Michael so I kill two birds with one stone. I save Clay for last. I don’t tell him about Sullivan but he’s suspicious, waiting for me to crack. I’m not ready yet. Soon, I tell myself. Soon. Because otherwise he’ll be doing a background check, and given Sullivan’s cloudy history, he’ll probably find something.

  When I’m done, Nicole reminds me I promised to go out with her today.

  “You still coming?” she asks and I can tell she’s waiting for me to say no.

  “Sure. You going now?”

  She shrugs and gives me a look like ‘of course.’

  “I’m in!”

  “Great. The boyfriend is picking me and Ella up in an hour.”

  I hop out of my bed and open the top drawer of my dresser. “I’ll put on my suit.”

  Nicole leaves the room to make something quick to eat while I get ready. My phone rings as I’m standing there, looking at myself, noticing the bruise on my leg from an old man who kicked me after I checked his sugar the other day.

  I pick up the phone and Sullivan starts talking before I can manage a hello. “Come over,” he says, more of a demand than a request.

  I don’t like to be ordered around, but he still has me smiling. “Why thank you for inviting me, Sullivan.”

  He sighs into the phone. “Please come over.”

  “I can’t. I promised I’d
go out with Nicole down to Eagle’s Rock.”

  “I see. Ditching me on a Saturday night. Who else is going?”

  “I don’t know. Ella and Nicole and her boyfriend for sure.”

  “Is he taking friends?” Sullivan asks.

  “I don’t know.”

  “Huh. What’s his name?”

  “Taylor. Why?” I ask, putting my hand on my hip even though I know he can’t see me.

  “No reason. Have fun.” His tone is clipped, annoyed and I’m left feeling confused and irritated. Is he jealous? No. He couldn’t be. Besides the fact that we haven’t defined whatever it is we are, he wouldn’t get annoyed if he trusted me.

  “Yeah…” The phone shuts off in my ear. “What the hell? He just hung up on me.”

  Nicole walks in, a sandwich on a plate in her hand. “Trouble in paradise?”

  “I have no idea.”

  Taylor and his friend Ryan pick us up about a half hour later. They sit in the front while the three of us girls sit in the back. Another car of guys follows behind us. I don’t know or recognize any of them.

  Eagle’s Rock is a about a twenty-five minute trek from the road and through the woods. There’s a parking lot by a trail, but that’s about as close as you can drive to it. Luckily I’ve worn my sneakers so the hike isn’t so bad. Unlucky for Ella and Nicole, they’ve worn flip flops so they stop every five minutes or so and complain that their feet hurt.

  I’m one of the first to get to the waterfall. Ryan is right beside me. Other than the nine of us, we’re the only ones around. The water rushes down the rock face to steam and fizzle into the basin of water below. Half of a rainbow stretches up into the trees. I open my mouth, taking it all in.

  “First time here?” Ryan says, looking down at the pebbled beach below.

  “Yeah. This is amazing.” We climb down hand over foot to get to the ledge below. The ledge is big enough for the group of us and we lay down our towels as the others catch up.