Juice

by Nako

“YOU CAN BARELY TALK.”

  Tia took a deep breath. She was trying her hardest to calm down but couldn’t.

  “Juice, come home. Let me take care of you. You’re sick baby.”

  He wasn’t going to do that. Mahogany needed him.

  “I’ll be home in a few days. We have a break,” he was determined to tough it out.

  “Have you at least taken something for your throat?”

  Juice lied and told her that he had.

  She was so annoyed with the entire situation and was growing tired of him putting himself last.

  “You gotta start taking care of you cus I promise you, she gon’ see about herself.”

  “Yes, Tia. How can I forget? You popped up at the show, playing nurse.”

  It was when he realized that she cared about him. For real.

  “It still stands though. If you’re not happy then do something about it.”

  He asked her, “Who said I wasn’t happy?”

  Drawing from what he shared with her, Tia knew that he was far from it.

  Yet, she digressed, “Nobody. Look, thanks for hooking us up. Have a good night.”

  She hung the phone up so damn fast, he didn’t even get a chance to tell her that she was welcome and to also have a good night. She refused to talk to him any longer. Tia noticed that not many things about him had changed. Other than his religion and name. He was still stubborn…and stupid.

  η

  Mahogany loved her children.

  Sometimes, Juice would watch her interact with her babies and wished that he had that connection with his own kids.

  It always felt forced. Out of obligation.

  He didn’t miss his kids when he was out of town. He rarely got homesick or was in a rush to return home to see them. Everything was on a schedule and normally came with a fee. As long as the child support was paid on time and his baby mamas were happy, then he could see his kids.

  He regretted a lot of the decisions he made when he had first started his career.

  It was embarrassing to admit that the fame got to him.

  The hoes that were at his disposal….was mind blowing and literally, he let them blow him any chance he got. Backstage. In the bathroom of the tour bus. In the club. Outside of the club. Juice didn’t give a fuck.

  They all wanted him, and he didn’t know how to handle the pressure nor the attention. However, Tia was the only one out of those hundred or so random faces that cared about him as a person. He could have lint in his pockets and she would still cherish him just the same. That was the major difference between she and the others. The difference that he constantly overlooked.

  Now, he had kids that he loved out of…whatever the fuck it was called when you had to do someone because it was the right thing to do.

  His heart wasn’t with them.

  Mahogany saw him staring and smiled at him, “Say hey to Uncle Juice.”

  He ambled over and scooped one of his nieces up and smothered her with kisses.

  “You okay?” Mahogany was beginning to ask him that question more often these days.

  “Yes, are you?”

  She nodded her head. “Do you think they’re going to hate me like once they’re older?” she whispered.

  Juice gave her wide and surprised eyes.

  “What kind of question is that? No, they’re not going to hate you. If anything, they’re going to want to be just like you.”

  She was a great mom and tried her hardest to be there as much as she could.

  “You promise?” she needed the reassurance on today.

  He nodded his head.

  Mahogany breathed a sigh of relief, “I’m ready for you to have kids. You’re going to make a great daddy.” She hugged his neck and then took her baby from him.

  “Come on, let’s go see what’s cooking.”

  He watched her walk away with her little gang in tow, wondering why he was keeping his children away from the people that loved him.

  Embarrassment.

  Shame.

  Regret.

  Those were only a few ways he could describe how he felt.

  With them somewhat on his mind, he texted all his baby mamas the same exact message.

  “Hey, just checking on y’all. I’m in town. Let’s do something tonight.”

  After he clicked out of the message he saw that he had another text from Tia. Assuming she was only responding to his ‘Good morning’ message that he shot her this morning before peeling out of bed. She was the first thing on his mind when he arose.

  But no, Tia could never just go with the flow. The lawyer in her caused her to over-analyze everything.

  I made it easy for you to love me, that’s what boggles my mind.

  If I let you feed me peanuts, you woulda never gave me steak.

  I was your amusement. Literally. A trip to the fair. You let me get on your ride. Hop on. Hop off. Fair closed.

  You never ever showed me that you loved me. Never chose me first and I never made you.

  I promised myself that I’d never feel like this again and I haven’t. Another nigga wouldn’t dare try me in the way that you had the chance to.

  You chose her over me. Time after time.

  I refused to have a baby by you to gain your loyalty.

  I wasn’t doing it.

  He knew that the “her” wasn’t any of his baby mamas but his sweet, precious Mahogany. Tia had always had something against her and Juice didn’t understand why. Their friendship was platonic. Mahogany loved Tia, but the feeling wasn’t mutual.

  Juice read the message so many times that he could say it verbatim, word for word, before responding with, “Where is this coming from?

  Tia saw the text immediately from her Apple Watch but didn’t bother opening it. She had a heap of work to do today and going back and forth with her ex wasn’t on her to do list. She centered her mind in on her goals, pushing Juice to a faraway corner in the back of her mind.

  “Attorney DiCaille,” she introduced herself to a small group of interns that many years ago were just like her.

  Her day went by rather quickly and before she knew it, she was stepping back into her precious pumps and riding the elevator down to the parking garage where her truck was located. Tia stifled a yawn as she weighed her options of going to bed starving since she’d rather sleep than eat or ordering a pizza on her way home so that she wouldn’t have to wake up early in the morning to make breakfast before going into work.

  Her phone’s service was iffy in her building, sometimes it worked and on other occasions, it didn’t. Once her cell connected to the Bluetooth system in her car, multiple calls and messages came in, most likely from the group chat that she had with her line sisters. She couldn’t keep up with those messages even if she didn’t have a job. They talked too damn much. In another group chat was she, Karma and Keiva who were her two best friends and sorors. Tia texted them, “Long day. Mimosa me all weekend cus I’ma need it.”

  She scanned the rest of her inbox for anything deeming itself as a priority, making sure to skip over whatever Juice told her earlier that morning. She didn’t want to talk to him. Tia wished he never even direct messaged her that day, sensing that her energy and spirit had been out of whack ever since.

  Coop hadn’t checked on her today which was weird. She would call him when she got home and settled into bed. It was nothing for them to talk until she went to sleep. His voice was like melatonin.

  Jhene, her mentee, had texted and called her a few times, more than normal. Which wasn’t her style, so Tia returned her call as she backed out of her parking spot and put her seating belt.

  “Hi honey, I’m sorry. I had a busy day today and the service was-”

  “WHERE ARE YOU?” she wailed into the phone, not really giving a fuck why Tia didn’t answer the phone she just needed her right now.

  “I’m leaving work, Jhene. What’s wrong?” Panic began to set in.

  “I need you. Can you send me an Uber to your house?”r />
  She wasn’t far from TSU, she could pick her up.

  “Are you in your dorm?”

  “Yes.”

  “Hold tight, boo. I’m on the way.”

  Tia did the dash to campus and called her back once she was outside of her dormitory.

  Jhene came out with a duffle bag. It was fine for her to spend the night…she thought. Tonight, she wouldn’t worry about protocol. Her mentee clearly needed her.

  When she got into the car, Tia turned the overhead lights on to get a good look at her.

  “Are you harmed or in danger?”

  Jhene shook her head. Her eyes were blood red and puffy. As if she’d been crying all night. Poor child.

  They drove home in silence, listening to Drake singing about what he really wanted from his women.

  “I’m going to shower then we can talk, okay?”

  Jhene heard her as she plopped down on the couch. She left her phone in the car, saying that there was no one she wanted to talk to other than her. Tia’s heart swelled.

  She showered quicker than she normally would and slipped into her pajamas. After fixing herself a glass of red sparkling wine, she joined the young hopeful girl on the couch and told her that she was free to speak when she was ready…or they could sit all night in silence while she gathered her thoughts.

  “Why do we show them who we are before they show us?”

  If Tia had the answer to that she would’ve never experienced heartbreak.

  Jhene had more questions, which Tia figured all were rhetorical. She wanted to get it all out.

  “Why does love feel like you’re playing chess and checkers…at the same fucking time?”

  She shook her head as she wiped the tears that had been falling since Tia picked her up. “Love shouldn’t feel so calculated.”

  Tia wanted to ask her so bad who broke her little heart. Jhene was young. She had her whole life ahead of her.

  “I just want my energy and effort matched. Is that too much to ask for? Give me what I give you or give me more. I deserve more,” she croaked. Her stomach hurt, her heart was ripped into pieces. She suffered in silence all day, in bed, crying until she felt like she was going to explode.

  Tia wasn’t aware that she was interested in something, let alone loving on a nigga.

  “I’m going to give you the advice I wish someone would’ve gave me when I was going through what you’re going through.”

  Jhene gave her a yearning look, she needed something…anything to possibly provide her relief.

  “When a man shows you who he is the first time, believe him. He isn’t lying or acting funny, he’s showing you who he is. You then get the choice to deal and act accordingly.”

  Lord, if she would’ve knew then what she knew now…oh, the late nights she spent crying and worrying over Juice would’ve been non-existent. But sometimes we gotta go through the bad times to grow. Her breakup was the foundation of her glow up. Jhene would be okay.

  “You cry all you gon’ cry tonight and then tomorrow, you’ll wipe your tears, pray and smile. Block his number and boss up, you hear me?” She looked her directly into her eyes.

  There will be many more…Tia wanted to tell her that so bad but didn’t want her to think about anything other than getting over this stupid nigga.

  She nodded her head, “Are you going to leave me in here?”

  “No, because I’m tired. You can sleep with me.”

  Jhene stumbled over her words, “Thank you…I’m so thankful for you…I know I don’t ever tell you that, but you always come through for me.” She was overwhelmed with all kinds of emotions right now.

  Tia didn’t need the appreciation, she did it because it was her due diligence. God had been working overtime in her life, she had to forever pay it forward.

  C H A P T E R 9

  You can’t even figure out what’s going on with you- Drake

  Effortless beauty should’ve been her Instagram handle because…. seriously, the girl didn’t even try to shut shit down, but that’s just what she did. Jhene was still at her house once the weekend approached, which made her the designated photographer for Tia. She turned to the right and placed her hand on her hip, “How this look?” she asked Jhene who was on her knees getting the right angles.

  “Cute. Super cute. Take one smiling and then one with your sexy face,” she suggested.

  Tia did both poses and then walked over to her to see the pictures. “Wow.”

  She looked damn good and knew it.

  Tonight, for the club outing she wore distressed denim booty shorts that weren’t considered conservative at all. Nor did she care. Red platform six-inch pumps that strapped to her ankles covered her white pedicured toes and a grey cut off-t-shirt that showed her toned stomach polished off her outfit. Sis was shitting on ‘em tonight.

  “You look so cute. What about jewelry?”

  She shook her head, “Not tonight.” She didn’t want to wear anything he bought her, knowing he would be at the club.

  “Oh okay, you doing the minimal thing. I’m with it.”

  Tia let her think whatever she thought.

  “Hmm-hmm. Okay, I gotta go. Karma is already in the lobby. I don’t know why she didn’t come over here.”

  Tia grabbed her clutch and phone.

  “Lock the door, text me if you need me.”

  She started pop, locking it and dropping it as soon as she stepped off the elevator.

  “Bih, is you already drunk?” Karma asked her.

  “Not yet. This is a natural high, ma’am.”

  They shared an Uber to the restaurant where everyone decided to link up. Food in their bellies was the best thing to do since they planned on turning up tonight. Everyone had a long ass week and was going to let their hair down.

  Tia snapped in the car, looking sexy and sultry. Knowing that Juice and Coop would be in her views at some point during the night, she put on a show.

  They had a table for eight at Spindletop and everyone was already there when Tia and Karma arrived.

  “Blame it on this heffa,” Karma threw her under the bus as soon as they approached their friends.

  “Can’t never let me be great,” she shook her head.

  The first round of lemon-drop martinis came out along with bread and salad.

  Tia proposed a toast, “To a group of boss ass bitches!”

  Before she knew it, they ate, had four more rounds of drinks, plus shots and ran up a tab of over three thousand dollars.

  Everyone threw loose bills down and someone paid the rest on a card. The one thing she absolutely loved about her girls were that they weren’t tick for tack. If one had it, they all had it. Their friendship was full of good energy and support. It’s been plenty of times that they’ve loaned something to the other. Borrow wasn’t in the vocabulary. Yeah, they argued every now and then, but were all mature enough to diffuse the situation to get back to having fun and enjoying life. When you were aware of the value that a person brought to your life, the petty shit went out the window. Tia didn’t hang with people that cut you off without proper warning or did petty shit. They didn’t take their problems to other people or social media, they handled it amongst each other. They respected each other’s wishes, opinions and decisions. One of her closest friends, Chanda, had taken her lying, cheating and unfortunately, BROKE ASS HUSBAND back time after time and what did the girls do? Greet him with love every single time they saw him.

  Their motto was, “If you like it, WE love it.”

  That’s how they kept the peace amongst their group. Minding their own motherfucking business.

  “Are you nervous about seeing him?” Keiva asked her, on the way to the club.

  Tia re-applied her lipstick and touched up her neck and wrist with a small bottle of Jo Malone perfume that she kept in her purse.

  She shook her head, “Honestly, Kei, I’m hoping that he doesn’t even speak to me.”

  Juice was an extremely sensitive spot for her. He was a chapter
she wished that she could somehow erase or copy and paste somewhere else. There were a few good things about their union, but the bad outweighed the good at this point. On top of him being engaged. Tia had nothing to say to him other than thanks for showing us a good ass time this weekend. It was all on his dime. If Juice didn’t know nothing else, he knew how to spend a check to make a girl smile. She was sure his fiancée was happy.

  Coop Facetimed her at the right time because Lord knows she didn’t want to finish the conversation with Keiva about Juice’s stupid ass.

  “Showing out on the gram, ain’t ya.”

  For him to be from up North, he often gave her good country vibes. Tia flashed him her a million-dollar, case-winning smile.

  “It’s the weekend, sir,” was her comeback.

  “Don’t make me catch a flight.”

  She could barely see him, he was probably sitting in the car or something. He saw her though and that was all that mattered.

  “Hey Coop!” Keiva and the others spoke in unison.

  Tia rolled her eyes. “Why they always trying to talk to you?” she teased.

  “Coop, when you coming to turn up with us again?” Chanda asked him.

  He was a good time and they loved when he came to visit because he paid for everything.

  “Whenever y’all friend stop curving me. She the busiest woman in the world.”

  Karma hollered from the back seat of their friend’s car, “She makes time for what she wants to make time for.”

  Tia was gon’ get her ass when they hung up.

  “Sound bout right.”

  “I’ll call you when I get home. I’m sure you’re going to be up,” she was ready to end the call.

  “Just hit me. I’ll get up for you if I’m sleep.”

  They all ‘aww’d’ loud enough for Coop to hear them and she could’ve swore that even in the dark she saw him blush.

  Tia rolled her eyes, “Bye boy.”

  She waited on them to get on her about letting a good man slip between her fingers, but it never came. She turned around to motor mouth Keiva. “Wow, you don’t have nothing to say.”

  Keiva zipped her lips. “Honey, you’ll see one day.”

  They were always telling her that she worked too much. She was too focused on things that she should let God handle. Her rebuttal was always, “Is there really such a thing as being too focused?” Tia didn’t agree.