Dear Adam
Page 17
After she ran her errands, she went to Sephora and headed straight for the men’s cologne section. She found Armani Code right away. Italian, in a simple black package, classic - just like Adam. She sprayed it on a paper test strip and inhaled. Very masculine, slightly musky, powerful. This was what Adam smelled like.
She imagined a figure in a black suit, standing tall and sharp and smelling like Armani Code. Adam would come in the cafe where she was waiting and look around. Everyone would look at him and wonder who he was. Their eyes would meet and despite wanting to frown and seem displeased, she wouldn't help smiling in pleasure because she had missed him all day. He would walk over to where she was seated, then lean over and give her a kiss so deep and hot, she would forget that he had left her alone all day. He would sit next to her and nuzzle her neck while they waited for his coffee, and the air would smell of Armani Code ...
Despite the air conditioning, Eden started sweating. She immediately purchased a small bottle.
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From: Adam -
Date: Sat, Aug 11, at 3:55 PM
To: Eden E
Not far from home but stuck in slow traffic. Must have been an accident. Shouldn't be too long
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From:
Date: Sat, Aug 11, at 3:57 PM
To: Adam -
Not to worry. Just looking at your pictures.
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From: Adam -
Date: Sat, Aug 11, at 3:59 PM
To: Eden E
It is an accident. A nasty one too. Shouldn't be too long now
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From:
Date: Sat, Aug 11, at 4:01 PM
To: Adam -
Don't text & drive!!!
Eden reclined against her pillows. She was in bed already, wearing in a black lace chemise. Dante was sleeping over at his dad’s house and so she left her bedroom door open to let the air from the open windows circulate. The August heat was cooling down a bit, but it was still sultry. Frank Sinatra was playing low from her laptop. She had Adam’s photos open and her iPod ready and charged. She sprayed the Armani a few times so that her room smelled of Adam. It was slowly driving her crazy.
It felt like she was waiting for Adam to come home from work, and that as soon as he walked in the door she would stand on tiptoe and wrap her arms around him to welcome him with a kiss. She felt she should chastise herself for playing a sexy, domestic woman waiting for her man.
But with Adam, it was different. It didn’t feel like playing a role. She felt so soft and yielding. If by some miracle he were to actually walk into her bedroom, she would be at his mercy.
When her iPod jumped alive with the Skype jingle, she put on her earbuds and answered with a silky “Hello.”
“Edie? Why didn’t you answer my text messages?” Adam sounded slightly out of breath and on edge.
Eden sat up, irritated. Here she was feeling so warm and soft and he was grumpy. She turned off Frank Sinatra. “Because you were driving! I didn’t want you to get in an accident!”
“Oh.” His tone was instantly calmer. “You worried me. I wish you’d have answered, then I wouldn’t have driven home so fast. I almost got in an accident myself.” He gave a slight, embarrassed laugh.
Eden took a deep breath. “You sound like you just got in.”
“Yes. Two seconds ago.”
And the first thing he did was call her. She felt soft again.
“Why don’t you relax, undress, then call me in five minutes?”
“No, I just needed to hear your voice. I’m fine now. I thought you were mad at me.”
“Mad at you? No.” She settled back against her pillows. “I’ve missed you.”
“I missed you too. The whole day was so long. And all I wanted to do was go home so we could be together.”
She smiled to herself. She pictured a dark house, perhaps one light on. She would come up to him, embrace him from behind.
“If I was there, would I get you something to help you relax? Beer? Wine?”
“Whisky.”
“Shall I take your jacket off, loosen your tie?”
He breathed deeply. “That would be very nice.”
She heard him moving around, opening a door - perhaps a fridge. A slight hiss as he twisted off a cap, a bottle of mineral water maybe. When his lips touched the neck of the bottle, he made a sucking sound that made her think of deep kisses.
"How was your meeting?"
"Interminable."
He told her a little about the people who worked for him and the various issues he had to settle that day. Never anything too specific, she was careful to note, but with enough detail that she got a vague sense of what had happened. Eden instinctively felt that probing questions of that sort would bring his guard up or make her seem suspicious in his eyes. He was a man who liked to keep parts of his life compartmentalized. Rather than asking who or what, she wanted to know the whys. How he felt. Her curiosity was focused only on Adam and how he ticked.
"By the time I retire in two years, I want the business to be entirely ... in the light. And today and tomorrow's meeting is part of that. That's why I had people fly in this weekend."
"In the light?" Eden repeated, confused.
"To move from the dark ... to the light." he said deliberately. Eden shook her head, trying to comprehend what he was saying.
"You mean from illegal to legal?"
"Jesus, Eden! There's a reason I talk in euphemisms!"
Her irritation returned.
"I don't see why everything is shrouded in secrecy with you. I really don't. Who do you think is listening in on us?"
"Eden," he said, his voice darkening. "What little you know about modern technology is frightening. Your own government spies on its citizens through wiretaps and traces, e-mail sifting -"
"If my government could find every person who ever talked about criminal matters," she interrupted, "Then why are there so many criminals at large and so many crimes unsolved? If the government is indeed monitoring everyone - which I don't dispute and don't condone - they are looking for terrorists, okay. Not mysterious Englishmen who import olive oil as a cover for something else!"
"My business is not a cover. It's legitimate. But it has its roots elsewhere. Like I told you, when I was young I had no other choice if I wanted to make money. It was either ... that or starve."
"I know. I'm not judging you."
"But you think I'm being paranoid. That my need for privacy – asking you to delete my recordings, my photo - is extreme. "
"Well -"
"Edie, if I were to Google Book Bohemian right now, do you know how many pictures of you come up? At least 15. Do you know how quickly it takes anyone who has barely any knowledge of search engines to go from Book Bohemian to your full name to your address? Seven steps, Edie. Seven. It's not rocket science to find out exactly who you are, what you look like, where you live, where you work, how much is in your bank account. And it's not just because you've got a blog and Twitter and Facebook," he listed with contempt, "Everything anyone needs to get to you is in public records. If any dimwit who has the desire can find you, think of what the government can do."
"I doubt the government is monitoring the activities of a book blogger."
"Do you know that all the data transmitted wirelessly is stored in an enormous database?"
"Adam, okay, you lost me there. What government has enough time or manpower to sift through all that data?"
"Humans aren't doing it, darling, computer programs are."
"But what do you have to fear from my government if your business in Italy is legal?"
"Your government is not the only entity who's mining information and monitoring communications. While I wouldn't call the government good guys, they are compared to others who have really mali
cious intent."
"Adam," she pleaded. "If our communication is so dangerous for you, then why bother then? I would think someone as private as you would prefer to meet face-to-face. That before you even said hello, you would have run background checks and calculated the odds of my trustworthiness."
The thought struck her that maybe Adam already had. A minute ago he had detailed exactly how many steps it took to uncover her identity and her location. If he was as private as he seemed to be, then it would be logical and characteristic to have thoroughly vetted her. By the way he spoke of his business, he indicated that he never acted rashly. He made decisions based on scrupulous research.
"This is indeed a nightmare of mine," he said drily. "All I did was Google for book reviews one day and here I am, doing everything I swore I would never do."
"You have to admit, it was a damn good book review."
"Well," he conceded, "I think that picture of you standing next to Arturo Valiente had a little to do with it. I thought, 'She’s kinda attractive.'"
"Just 'kinda attractive'?" While Adam wasn't the type to flatter, being called "kinda attractive" by the man who intrigued her doused what could have been a romantic moment.
"We wouldn't want your head to get as big as your thighs,” he said, amused. “But if I ever meet Valiente, I don't know if I'd shake his hand or punch him in the face."
"Is it really as bad as all that?" she inquired, her irritation dissipating.
"Eden, no one who knows me would ever believe how we met. Or that I am now a willing slave to our e-mails and Skype talks. You have to understand how strange this is for me. Two weeks ago, if a friend of mine had told me he found a woman online, I wouldn't have hesitated in telling him to run the other way and not look back."
"But we haven't met," she reminded him. She debated on whether or not to bring up the topic that had lately begun to insinuate itself into her every other thought.
"When," she started to ask hopefully. A definite when, not if. "When do you think we'll be able to meet?"
It worried her that he hadn't asked yet to meet her. Was she not enticing enough? Was she taking the whole thing too seriously? Was he still deciding if she could be trusted? Despite how much time they've spent together, she was starting to doubt herself. Maybe he didn't think she was worth flying halfway across the world.
His reply was swift. "Six months." His tone was firm. This topic was non-negotiable. "At least."
"Six months!" Eden exclaimed.
"I could be there tomorrow," he relented, softening a little. "But I can't leave my business for too long. It's at a critical phase at the moment and I need to be here to make sure nothing gets overlooked. And for our first meeting, I'd want us to have at least a week, maybe two. More importantly, we can’t rush things, Edie."
"I'm not saying tomorrow," Eden said, deflated. "But six months?"
He cautioned against rushing things, but earlier he had hinted of a future together. It was becoming ever more difficult each day to let him go, no matter how much they e-mailed, no matter how long they talked. Even in the midst of conversation, she would be overwhelmed with an unexpected ache of missing him. His physical absence was a hollow, ever present void.
"We could be really amazing, you and I. But if we are going to do this, I want to do it properly. I want it to last. And that takes time. The best things are worth waiting for. We are worth waiting for. When it’s right," he said in a voice that was unshakably certain, "Name the place. Name the date. Name the hour. And I will fly anywhere in the world to meet you."
Chapter 11
Subject: Sunday again
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From: Eden E
Date: Sat, Aug 11, at 10:56 PM
To: Adam -
Good morning, my dear Adam
I should be full of you tonight. We talked till the wee of your hours, we e-mailed back and forth this morning, I got to smell you and finally, finally, finally, I have something of what you look like. But I am not full. Ungrateful wretch that I am. What more can I want??
I hope when you wake up and read this you'll know I was thinking of you while you slept.
Subject: Monday
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From: Eden E
Date: Sun, Aug 12, at 10:39 PM
To: Adam -
My dear Adam, good day!
I was just thinking about how hard it must be for you to show any sort of vulnerability but that is what endears you to me.
I wonder if I'll ever tire of hearing your voice, of hearing you say, "My dear" or my name.
You need to sing to me again. It's been awhile and you sang just a little bit tonight. I would have asked for more but I knew you were tired. Will you sing a song to me during our lunch date?
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From: Adam -
Date: Mon, Aug 13, at 3:09 AM
To: Eden E
Good morning you,
How are you today?
I am just going through the morning motions, slowly.
It is difficult for me to express vulnerability, but I realise that's a part of what we're doing and I'll try my best. I hope that you’re not holding back, because I am not.
I will sing to you again.
Do you think you could get tired of me/my voice?
I spoke to the estate agent, just, and I can see that property either today or tomorrow. But I'm a bit tired and it's out of the way so I might leave it until tomorrow.
I miss you.
x
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From: Eden E
Date: Mon, Aug 13, at 11:49 AM
To: Adam -
I agree. I'm not holding back. I hope you know how unusual and frankly stupefying it is how much I've shared with you, right? There wasn't even an "us" two weeks ago.
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From: Adam -
Date: Mon, Aug 13, at 11:50 AM
To: Eden E
It's the same for me darling regarding that.
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From: Eden E
Date: Mon, Aug 13, at 2:57 PM
To: Adam -
I wish I could be with you in your freezing, wet ruin with the storm outside. We could cuddle together and keep each other warm. I have an abundance of sunshine here. I'd like to give some of it to you.
I keep thinking that because we haven't been face-to-face yet, we've skipped a few steps. Do you think that these steps will bring problems later on?
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From: Adam -
Date: Mon, Aug 13, at 3:03 PM
To: Eden E
I wish you could too. I'd cuddle you and kiss you.
You know, the fact that we won't be together when you finish work tonight, makes my day feel empty.
What problems?
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From: Eden E
Date: Mon, Aug 13, at 3:33 PM
To: Adam -
Well, I hate to keep pointing out that we have never been face-to-face.
What if when we do meet, everything is totally different? What if there isn't any chemistry? That is what I'm worried about.
More and more, you seem more real than almost everything else in my life. I don't know why that is when you have the least tangibility. Whenever we hang up at night, it seems like I should retire too and I have to remind myself that there is more of my life left to be lived before I go to sleep.
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From: Adam -
Date: Mon, Aug 13, at 3:36 PM
To: Eden E
I'd say there is a risk of that, but it's a minor one.
I was just
thinking the same thing! I think it's because we are tangible to each other, and we make an effort to be, just not in conventional ways.
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From: Eden E
Date: Mon, Aug 13, at 3:41 PM
To: Adam -
Are you sure? You won't take one look at me or spend 5 minutes in my actual physical company and think, "Meh. I don't know why I got so excited about her hairy, chunky thighs. They're nothing special."
I have been saving up all of this emotion for a man and I haven't been able to spend it, lavish it on someone properly.
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From: Adam -
Date: Mon, Aug 13, at 3:43 PM