Addiction (The Hunted Series Book 2)

by Ivy Smoak

  I liked when he overpowered me. I was even more aroused than I had been before. I could feel my heart racing. "Okay, you win. I surrender."

  He smiled down at me. He let go of my hands and lifted up my hips, sinking himself deep inside of me again.

  "Professor Hunter," I moaned. This is what made all the bad things worth it. The way he touched me. The way he held me. The way he looked at me. The way he made me feel. I loved the way he made me feel. Like he adored me. And cherished me.

  He leaned over top of me and kissed me hard. I loved when he kissed me like that. It was like he hadn't gotten to kiss me in weeks, not hours. He didn't taste like he usually did. What had he said his favorite drink was? Scotch maybe. Maybe he tasted like that. I had never had scotch before.

  He moved his hips faster. "You're so beautiful."

  I laughed again.

  "Fuck, Penny. It's like you're trying to tease me." He grabbed my hands again, holding them in place with just one of his. "Now you're going to get it." With his free hand he began to tickle me again.

  I squirmed under his grip, laughing. It somehow made me more aware of his thick cock slamming in and out of me faster and faster. The feeling of being overpowered, and laughing, and him so deep inside of me made the familiar pull in my stomach happen even faster. "Professor Hunter!" I screamed as my orgasm crashed down on me.

  He groaned as he found his own release, filling my stomach with that wonderful warm feeling. He collapsed on top of me. "Please tell me that you liked that as much as me. Your heart's beating so fast."

  I laughed and ran my fingers through his hair. "That's because it's hard to breathe when you're tickling me."

  "Hmm." He kissed my neck.

  "It felt really good, though."

  "Hmm." He kissed my neck again.

  "You're funny when you're drunk."

  "I'm not drunk," he mumbled into my neck. He laughed. "Maybe I'm a little drunk."

  "You said I'm beautiful about a million times."

  "That's because you are beautiful." He leaned down and kissed my clavicle. "You're beautiful and you won't marry me." He sighed and placed his head against my chest. "It's okay. I understand."

  "You understand what? I told you the reason why I said no. I just didn't want to go to Vegas." I ran my fingers through his hair again.

  "No. The real reasons." He yawned. "You don't need me."

  "I always need you."

  He sighed. "No. You don't need me. I can't even protect you. He touched you. I let that asshole touch you."

  "James." I put my hands on either side of his face. "That wasn't your fault. You weren't even there. I do need you. You're all that I need."

  He shook his head out of my hands and placed his head back down on my chest. "It's not just that. You don't love me."

  What? "James, I do love you. I love you so much."

  He yawned again. "No. No one loves me."

  "James."

  I was answered by light snoring.

  "James." I didn't try to stop my tears from falling. How could he think that I didn't love him? How could he think that no one loved him? He was so sweet and thoughtful and perfect. Why did he feel like he wasn't worthy of love? If that was how he felt, then I wasn't a good girlfriend. I knew he was drunk. He didn't really know what he was saying. But wasn't that when people were usually the most honest? I didn't want him to feel broken.

  But I kept doing things that made it seem like I didn't love him. I ran back to my dorm today instead of going to him. And I said no to his proposal. No wonder he thought I didn't love him. I wrapped my arms around him. He always made me feel safe. I wanted him to know I wasn't going anywhere. I wanted him to know that I loved him back. I wanted him to be able to trust me.

  Chapter 31

  Saturday

  When I woke up I was sweating. James' arms were wrapped tightly around me. He always seemed so confident. I didn't realize how insecure he really was. In a lot of ways we were complete opposites. But I was insecure too. And he always gave me what I needed. I had to make sure I was giving him what he needed.

  "Hey," I said softly, running my fingers through his hair.

  He slowly opened his eyes. He lifted his head off my chest and looked down at me. "Hey."

  "How are you feeling? You were really drunk last night."

  He laughed. "I'm fine. Although I don't remember much about last night." He looked down at my naked body and smiled. "I remember that."

  It was strange. He didn't seem hung over at all. Maybe alcoholics didn't get hangovers? But he wasn't really an alcoholic. He wasn't addicted to anything right now. Was he?

  "Do you need some Advil or something?"

  "No, I'm okay." He reached up toward my face.

  "Oh my God, James." I sat up and grabbed his hand. "Your hand is bleeding. Why are you bleeding?!"

  "Oh, shit." He ran his hands down his face. "Fuck. I remember that too."

  "What happened? James, you need to clean it. It's going to get infected or something." I grabbed his arm and pulled him toward the bathroom.

  I opened up a drawer in his vanity and then another. "Do you have peroxide? Or Band-Aids or anything?" I pulled open another drawer.

  "No. Penny, I'm fine. Really, it doesn't even hurt." He put his hand on my shoulder. He was smiling at me in the mirror.

  "This isn't funny. We were just in the hospital. I don't want to go back. Is Ellen here? Maybe she has something?"

  "She doesn't work on the weekends. Penny, it's fine. See?" He moved his hand into a fist and winced.

  "Jesus, James." I turned on the water and grabbed the bar of soap. I put his hand underneath the faucet.

  He gave a sharp exhale and turned away from me in the mirror.

  It didn't seem like it was still bleeding. There was just tons of dried blood on the back of his hand. And it looked like he might be missing a layer of skin on his knuckles. I gently washed away the blood. I turned off the water and patted his hand with one of his fluffy hand towels. He still wasn't looking at me. He was acting guilty. Really, really guilty. I had a sinking feeling in my stomach.

  "James, what did you do?"

  "Thank you. I'm sorry, I didn't know I was bleeding."

  "James."

  He looked down at his hand and then back at me. "I wanted to fix it."

  I swallowed hard. "Fix what?"

  "He touched you. That asshole touched you."

  "You didn't. James, you promised me that you wouldn't hurt him."

  "I didn't promise you that I wouldn't hurt him. I told you exactly what I was going to do. I said I was going to punch him in the face. And that's what I did."

  "You said you were going to call Joe. This wasn't the way to fix it."

  "He shouldn't have touched you."

  "He's probably going to the dean right now. Or calling the cops on you."

  "Trust me, he's not."

  "What does that mean? Can he not move or something?"

  James laughed. "No. I just made it very clear that I'd visit him again."

  "You threatened him?"

  "You don't understand."

  "Obviously. Because there was another way to handle this. So you're right, I don't understand why you got drunk and beat up another professor. Why would you do that?"

  "Because I couldn't be there to protect you! Do you have any idea how that makes me feel?"

  "Yes. Because you never let me protect you."

  He ran his hands over his face. "That's different."

  "It's not different. And I've never beat someone up because of it."

  He leaned against the sink. "I did what I needed to do. He's a freaking pervert. He deserved it."

  "And that's how people see you. Because you won't defend yourself. And you won't let me try to protect you. I don't want people to see you like that. I want everyone to know how wonderful you are."

  "But I'm not wonderful. I'm used to people saying bad things about me. I can handle it."

  "You are wonde
rful." I put my hands on both sides of his face. "You're so wonderful. And smart, and funny, and sexy, and perfect. Even when you get in fist fights you have good intentions."

  "I didn't have good intentions. I wanted to kill him."

  "You can't convince me that you're a bad person. I don't know why you keep trying to do that. I love you."

  "I'm not going to apologize for what I did. I'm still mad." He looked down at his hand.

  "If you're mad about what's going on, then maybe you should do something else about it."

  "What else can I do?"

  I just stared at him.

  "What? Talk to the press? Penny, that really would just make it worse."

  "Yes. Please. Please tell the real story."

  "Joe's going to be mad."

  "I don't care. I don't want to go here anymore anyway."

  "You don't?"

  "No. I want to take the rest of the semester off. And try to enroll somewhere else in the spring. I want that fresh start you talked about."

  "You'd give up going here to be with me?"

  "Yes. All that I care about is being with you." I needed him to know that he had become the most important thing to me. I adored and cherished him too. "I love you, James Hunter."

  He was staring at me so intently. For the first time ever, it seemed like he might actually believe me.

  "I love you with everything that I am."

  He grabbed my waist and kissed me. "I love you." He lifted me up onto the sink. "And it's rather convenient that you're already naked."

  I laughed as he pressed his lips against mine again.

  ***

  "Good morning," I said as James and I emerged from our bedroom.

  "Well, you two look like you're in a good mood," Rob said as he opened up the fridge door. "Must be all the sex." His head disappeared behind the fridge door.

  I looked up at James. "Could he hear us?" I whispered.

  James put his lips next to my ear. "He might have been able to hear you. You're unbelievably responsive."

  I pushed on his chest.

  "I'm just kidding," James whispered. "I'm sure he couldn't hear us."

  "Do either of you want some scrambled eggs?" Rob asked. "I assume you're both hungry after your double header."

  "I would love some, but only because it's breakfast time and I have a normal person's hunger," I said and sat down at the kitchen counter.

  Rob laughed. "Don't be shy now. You know, for such a nice place, the walls are kind of thin. Don't you think, Professor Hunter?"

  "Shit," James mumbled.

  "You don't have to be embarrassed. Penny already told me all about how kinky she is. I would have been surprised if she wasn't screaming Professor Hunter all night and morning."

  "Please stop talking," James said.

  "Besides," Rob continued. "We had to go on that top secret mission last night so I didn't end up getting laid. It was nice to have something to jerk off to."

  I could feel myself gaping at him. He couldn't possibly be serious.

  "Damn it, Rob, we've talked about this. Stop saying stuff like that around Penny. I don't want to have to kick you out."

  Rob cracked an egg. "It's fine. Penny and I are cool."

  "Actually, we're not cool," I said. "Because James told me all about your secret mission. And you told me that you wouldn't let him do anything stupid. Punching a professor in the face is something stupid. What is wrong with you?"

  "I tried to stop him."

  "Not well enough."

  "He's bigger than me." Rob shrugged and cracked another egg.

  "You two must have been a disaster together growing up," I said.

  "No, only me really. James is the perfect one. I'm a terrible influence on him." He pushed the eggs around the pan with a spatula.

  "That's kind of what it seems like."

  "Geez, you sound like my mom. What, you think I wanted to go kick some guy's ass last night? That was not how I saw last night going at all. That was all him." He pointed at James.

  I couldn't help but laugh. This must have been how they behaved growing up. Blaming each other for everything. It was actually kind of adorable.

  "So what are we doing today?" Rob asked. "Is there someone else we need to beat up?"

  "Penny and I are going shopping. We need to pick up a few things for the apartment." James sat down next to me at the counter.

  "I don't mind third wheeling." Rob put some of the scrambled eggs on plates and handed them out.

  "Thanks, Rob, these look great," I said and took a bite. I wasn't sure why James still wanted to go shopping. I had just told him that I wanted to move.

  "Actually, if it's alright, I was hoping to do something with just Penny. We'll only be gone for a few hours."

  "Fine. I have some stuff I need to do too anyway."

  "You do? What are you going to do? Nothing illegal I hope?" I asked.

  "Very funny, Penny. No, I ordered an Xbox from this place down the street. I need to go get it and set it up."

  "I can't even remember the last time I played videogames," James said.

  "I know. It's going to be so fun crushing you. I call dibs on James after your lunch date." He pointed his fork at me.

  "I'm good at videogames," I said. "Maybe I can crush both of you."

  Rob laughed. "I seriously doubt that."

  "I played tons of N64 growing up. I can beat anyone at Mario Kart."

  Rob laughed again. "Yeah, this isn't N64. Xbox is for grownups."

  "I'm sure it's not that different."

  "Well, I guess we'll see later. Game on, Penny. Oh, and Professor Hunter, could you please pick me up some condoms? Like a huge box? Like all the condoms they have in the store."

  "Please don't call me that. And there's some in my nightstand. You can have them."

  "I think the two of you are going to need those."

  "Yeah, we don't use them."

  Geez. Is nothing personal between these two?

  "Fuck, I hate you. I hate both of you so much."

  James laughed and grabbed my hand, pulling me toward the elevator.

  Chapter 32

  Saturday

  "What about something like this?" James stopped next to a huge painting of the beach. There was a boardwalk that overlooked the sand and water.

  "It reminds me of Rehoboth." I leaned my head against his shoulder.

  "Me too. It's kind of perfect, right?" He wrapped his arm around my back.

  "That's the day I fell in love with you, you know."

  He kissed my temple. "You barely knew me."

  "I knew enough."

  He turned back to the painting. "Let's get it."

  "I thought you liked the idea of moving? Why are we buying stuff for a place we might leave?"

  "We can bring it with us. Where do you think you want to go?"

  "I don't know. Aren't you happiest in New York?"

  "I'm happiest when I'm with you." He kissed my temple again.

  I smiled up at him. "Maybe I should apply to some places and see if I can get in anywhere before we choose. I'm not sure how easy it's going to be. You said people might not think my grades are valid."

  "You can get in wherever you want."

  "What do you mean by that?'

  "I'm more than willing to make a hefty donation to any university that you choose."

  I laughed. "I don't want you to do that."

  "How do you think I got Joe to change your incomplete to a withdrawal?"

  "James. You're exasperating. I didn't ask you to do that. And now I'm going to drop out. That was a terrible investment."

  "Eh. Maybe they'll name a lecture hall after me or something. You know, when things die down."

  "I kind of doubt that."

  "Then choose your next university wisely so I don't have to keep wasting money. Besides, I've always wanted a building named after me."

  I laughed and looked back up at the painting. "I want you to decide where we go. I'm indecisiv
e. You're better at making decisions than me."

  "I'd rather make that decision together." He squeezed my shoulder. "Until then, I definitely want this painting. You like it, right?"

  "Yeah, I do."

  "Okay. I'll be right back." He walked over to the art gallery manager.

  I turned back to the painting. It was really fun picking out stuff together for our place. James and the manager walked back over.

  The manager pulled the canvas off the wall. "Let me package it up for you. I'll be right back."

  "James, could we maybe get the picture you sent me the other day printed out?"

  "Of Rob giving you the middle finger? I'm sure we can get a better picture than that."

  "It's the first picture you ever sent me of yourself. I like it. You look really happy. I even made it my background image." I handed him my phone. I had cropped Rob out of it so that it was zoomed up on James' face.

  "You're incredibly cute." He handed me my phone back. "Can it at least be smaller than the painting we just got?"

  I laughed. "Yeah, that's fine. Just like a normal sized picture would be great."

  "Okay." He wrapped his arm around me again. "So what else do cozy places have?"

  "James, I need to confess something."

  His arm seemed to stiffen.

  "It's not bad. I just..." my voice trailed off. "When I told you I went to my dorm room after I was upset because it was cozy, that wasn't the whole truth. I was embarrassed. When you described what your brother was like, you said he wasn't independent. You made it seem like that was a bad thing. And I don't want you to think of me that way. I wanted to prove to you that I could be strong and take care of myself. And I couldn't. I..."

  "Penny, I want to take care of you." He kissed my forehead. "I want you to let me take care of you."

  "I need you." I wanted him to know that. When he was drunk he had said that I didn't need him. I did. I needed him in every way.

  He lowered his eyebrows slightly. I wasn't sure if he remembered confessing that he thought I didn't need him. But it seemed to effect him either way.

  "Penny, I need you too. You shouldn't be embarrassed about that."

  "I know. But I told you I could handle it. I just wanted you to think I was strong. And I was embarrassed about how wrong I was about everything. Everyone was so horrible. I just felt..."