Addiction (The Hunted Series Book 2)

by Ivy Smoak

  "I am good at videogames! I don't know what this crap is." My girl reappeared on the screen again. James' character was standing there holding a gun to my face.

  "Don't you dare, James."

  He immediately shot me.

  "James! You're supposed to be on my team!" I started laughing too. I really was terrible at this.

  "What?!" Rob yelled. "You're both supposed to be helping me kill Brendan!"

  "I can't kill anyone, this game is impossible." I fired my gun at the floor.

  "Maybe we should all play a different game?" Rob said. "I know you're fond of pool, Penny."

  I could feel my face turning red.

  "You're good at pool?" Brendan asked. "We could play that instead. It's too easy to beat everyone in this anyway." He shot Rob in the chest.

  "Shit," Rob mumbled.

  "No. Actually, I kind of suck at pool," I said. I had finally gotten my character to run in a straight line. I hid behind a column. Someone's character was approaching me from the other side of the column. I still wasn't sure what I was doing, but I was determined to kill whoever it was. And he didn't seem to realize he was walking into a trap.

  "Yeah, I guess not," Rob said. "If you were I wouldn't have found your underwear all over the pool table. James clearly demolished you."

  Brendan started laughing. "Strip pool? Now that's a fun game."

  I tried to ignore them talking and focused on the character approaching my hiding spot in the game. As soon as he walked past me, I fired my gun. My first shot missed, but my second shot hit him in the side of the head. "Yes!" I screamed and stood up. "I just killed someone!"

  "Shit, you just killed Brendan!" Rob said.

  "Nice," James said. He held up his hand and I high-fived him.

  "See, I am good at videogames!" I high-fived Rob too.

  "Yeah, I kind of thought you were lying. But you just killed the master himself," Rob said. "Why are you so good at videogames, Penny?"

  "I was a very nerdy youth." I sat back down on the couch.

  James wrapped his arm around my back. "You're ridiculously cute."

  "I never would have guessed you were a nerd growing up," Rob said. "That probably explains why you're so kinky now though."

  "Rob, come on," James said.

  "Oh. Was that inappropriate too? I thought that was just a nice compliment. I guess I don't know where the line is."

  "Obviously," James replied.

  "Let's play a different map. I'm demanding a rematch," Brendan said. "I refuse to accept the fact that I just got beat by a girl who's never touched an Xbox before."

  "You're just mad because she's touching an Xbox instead of you," Rob said and switched to a snowy mountainside.

  Brendan laughed. "Fair enough."

  "I'm so sorry," James whispered in my ear.

  "It's fine." I smiled up at him. I liked hanging out with the guys. I was already desensitized to Rob's comments. And James seemed to really be enjoying himself.

  ***

  After several rounds of Golden Eye, Brendan stood up and stretched. "I think I've redeemed myself."

  "Yeah, whatever," I mumbled. I had only gotten one kill since our first game. And I was pretty sure James had let me kill him on purpose because he felt bad.

  "Yeah," Rob said. "Clearly Penny just got lucky before. I think I'm done playing for the night. Who wants to go out?"

  "I think I'm going to stay in tonight," James said and yawned.

  "Stop being lame." Rob stood up and stretched too.

  "You can go," I said. "Melissa asked me if I'd come over and help her get ready for the Sigma Pi formal."

  "Are you sure?" He rubbed his hand along the side of my neck.

  "Yeah, go have fun."

  "Actually, I do have a few things I need to get done," James said.

  Rob laughed. "Crap, do we have to go beat someone else up? That was fun and all, but I have some other things in mind for tonight."

  "No, nothing like that." He gave me a mischievous smile.

  "Why are you smiling like that? I'm with Rob on this one. Please stop beating people up."

  James laughed. "I'm not going to beat anyone up. Do you want me to drop you off at your dorm?" Rob and Brendan had already started walking toward the elevator.

  "No, I think I'd like some fresh air after sitting on the couch all day."

  "Okay." He tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear.

  "Try to pace yourself tonight." I couldn't help but be a little worried about him. It was my responsibility to look out for him now. And I didn't know enough about addiction to be able to really help. It made me a little nervous. The only knowledge I had really had about addiction was how addicted I was to him. Rob didn't seem to have James' best interests in mind. I wanted James to be safe. At least there was a third person with him tonight that could help hold him back if he tried to assault Professor McCarty again.

  "You don't need to worry about me." James winked at me.

  "What on earth are you planning to do? Now I'm more worried than before."

  "There's nothing to worry about tonight." He kissed my cheek and got up off the couch.

  Chapter 34

  Saturday

  The leaves crunched under my feet. James had looked excited about something. And he said I didn't need to worry about him. So maybe he wasn't even planning on drinking at all. But I was worried.

  Before I had left the apartment, I googled addiction. I wound up on a Wikipedia article about sexual addiction. It was all about how people couldn't control their sexual urges, thoughts, and behaviors. James had told me he couldn't stop thinking about me. He had given into his urges in his office because he thought that would make the urges go away. But it had just made him want me more. Like he couldn't quit me.

  Now I was more worried than ever. There was such a fine line between addiction and what he considered love. And I was scared. I was scared that I wouldn't be able to help him if I was the one that was currently reinforcing his behavior.

  I rolled my eyes at myself. I was being silly. It wasn't like I was a psychology expert. One Google search didn't mean anything. And we hadn't even covered anything about addiction in my Psych class. I knew how James felt about me because it was the same way I felt about him.

  But no matter what I told myself, there was this small unsettling feeling I was holding onto. What if I moved to New York and he was addicted to me? He'd eventually move onto the next thing. Just like Isabella had said. And I wouldn't have anything else in New York. I wouldn't even know anyone else. I'd be completely alone in a city I didn't even like. But if he ever left me, I'd feel alone anyway. It didn't matter where I was. I knew what it was like to lose him. So if he was just addicted to me, I was doomed either way.

  "Hey!" someone yelled behind me.

  I'd recognize his voice anywhere. Austin. Hopefully he was trying to get someone else's attention. I picked up my pace.

  "Hey, babe, wait up!"

  My stomach already felt unsettled. And now it seemed to flip over. I turned around and saw Austin running up to me.

  "I thought that was you," he said and stopped in front of me. "Damn, you look good. Dating a rich guy suits you."

  Fuck you, Austin. I turned back around and started walking again.

  "Don't be that way." He caught up to me and started walking beside me. "I'm just messing with you. Although, I didn't believe it at first. You're not really one to break the rules."

  "Don't you have some girl with low self esteem to take advantage of?"

  He laughed. "You're kind of putting yourself down with that comment."

  "I'm not the girl you thought you knew." I felt different around Austin than I used to. He used to be able to talk me into doing anything with him. But now there were no butterflies. I finally saw him for what he was. Being with James had changed me for the better. He had made me more confident. I started walking faster. I just wanted Austin to leave me alone. This week had been bad enough. I didn't need to hear
whatever he had to say.

  "I know. The girl I dated never would thrown water in my face at a bar. A guy has to respect that kind of move."

  "We never dated, Austin."

  "Actually, we did. I just wasn't quite as committed to it as you were."

  "Yeah, you don't have to tell me. I already knew that." Why are you even talking to me right now? Go away.

  "The girl I dated also wouldn't have fucked her professor."

  I stopped and turned to him. "What is your problem? Why do you always find the need to put me down? Does it make you feel good about yourself or something? You don't get to judge me anymore. We're not together."

  "My opinion clearly still bothers you, though."

  I glared at him. "Yes, it bothers me. Because I don't understand how someone could possibly be as immature and hateful as you. It bothers me that someone like you even exists." I started walking away.

  "That's not why it bothers you. It bothers you because you still want me. You like what you can't have."

  I laughed. "No, I love what I have." And I did. I loved James with every ounce of my being. Maybe it was good that I had run into Austin. It just reminded me that there was a lot I wanted to leave behind at the University of New Castle.

  "Really? Because I'm pretty sure you loved me. Every time we hung out you spread your legs. You were never able to resist me."

  "You're such an asshole."

  "Come, on, babe. I'm having a party at my place tonight. You should come. Maybe we can pick up where we left off." He put his hand on my shoulder.

  "Don't call me that." I pushed his hand away.

  "You used to like when I called you babe."

  "Yeah, that was before I met James. Why are you even talking to me? I'm pretty sure last time we talked, I made it very clear that I wanted nothing to do with you. So no, I'm not coming to your stupid party. Please just leave me alone."

  "You should be thanking me, you know."

  "Why on earth would I ever thank you?"

  "For taking your v-card. For showing you how to fuck. Without me, you never would have landed your professor. Men don't like sweet, innocent girls. And you were as sweet and innocent as they come."

  I stopped again. "You know what? You're right. I do need to thank you."

  A smiled spread over his face.

  "For being a stepping stone toward happiness." I poked him in the middle of his chest. "Because of you, I ran into James in that coffee shop the morning before classes started." I poked him again. "Because of you, I realized I was sick of dating immature assholes." I poked him once more. "And because of you, I was able to fall head over heels for a guy who's actually nice to me."

  He stared at me. "Nice to you? He just likes to sleep with students. The guy is a total creep."

  "He only slept with me. It makes sense that you're one of the many idiots that believes any rumor you hear. He loves me. And I love him. Something which you'll never experience because you're the creep."

  He laughed. "I've missed this. We've always had such playful banter. If I remember correctly, our fights always transitioned into super hot makeup sex."

  "You're disgusting. I don't know what I ever saw in you. And you know what? You're awful in bed. And your penis is tiny." God that felt good to say.

  He frowned for a second but then laughed. "That's not what the other girls that I was fucking while we were together said."

  I started walking away again.

  "Hey, the party is the other way. Where are you going?"

  "Wouldn't you like to know?" This time he didn't follow me. I couldn't wait to move to New York.

  ***

  "Are you okay?" Melissa said as soon as I came into the room.

  "Yeah, I'm fine."

  "Penny, you don't look fine. You actually look really upset. What did James do this time?"

  "What? Nothing. James has been fantastic. I ran into Austin on the way here." I kicked off my shoes and jumped onto my bed.

  "Oh. Awkward."

  "Yeah. I kind of just stopped thinking about him after that night at the bar. It was almost like he didn't exist. I liked it better that way."

  Melissa laughed. "So what did he do tonight?"

  "He was joking around about me sleeping with my professor. I don't know. He was being Austin. He was trying to get me to sleep with him again."

  "That does sound like Austin. His name is basically synonymous with asshole."

  "Yeah." I sighed. "It was kind of fun telling him off. I told him he had a tiny penis." I smiled to myself.

  "Go you. Attacking the only thing he has to offer."

  "Well it's the truth."

  Melissa laughed. "So, you're okay?"

  "Yeah. I'm good. It's just been a really bad week." I propped one of my pillows against the wall and leaned back on it. "I'm just so sick of all the rumors spreading around." I didn't want to talk to her about that right now. I wanted to help her get ready for the formal. "That dress looks amazing on you, Melissa."

  "Are you sure it's not too revealing?" she asked and looked at her reflection in the mirror. She turned to the side to examine the deep V in the back.

  "I don't think I've ever heard you ask that question before."

  Melissa sighed. "I know. Why am I so nervous about tonight? It's silly. I'm kind of used to going to these things with you though."

  "You'll be fine. You went to that luau thing by yourself and had a blast."

  Melissa sat down on the edge of my bed. "I know. But it's not as fun without you there. Oh, I forgot to ask! What is James' brother like?"

  "He's...a handful."

  Melissa laughed. "Are they alike at all?"

  "They have a lot of the same features. But they're very different personality wise. James is always so reserved. But Rob just says whatever comes into his head and is really open and friendly."

  "So, he's super sexy too?"

  I laughed. "He's good looking, yes."

  "Where are they tonight?"

  "I don't really know. James said they had some things to do or something. He was kind of secretive about it."

  "Weird. What do you think he's doing?"

  "I have no idea."

  "Maybe it's something romantic."

  "I don't know why he would have taken Rob and Brendan with him instead of me then."

  "Wait, Brendan, Brendan? The guy you made out with while you were stalking James? Why are they hanging out? That's so awkward."

  "Yeah. Rob befriended him. I thought it would be weird. But the three of them seem to get along really well."

  "I think I want to start hanging out at your new place more often," Melissa said. "It's like an eligible bachelor sausage fest." She got off my bed and began to do her makeup.

  I laughed. "Actually, I kind of wanted to talk to you about that."

  "That sounds ominous. Are you actually here to just get the rest of your stuff?" She smiled at me.

  "No. That's not it. It's just been a lot harder than I thought around campus."

  "Yeah, I know." She paused in her mascara application "There are a lot of rumors going around. Whenever I hear someone say anything, I always defend you. I've started to hate girls in general."

  I laughed. "Me too. But it's more than that. It's my professors too. They...well they're...it's just really hard." I didn't need anyone else beating up Professor McCarty.

  "I'm sorry, Penny. I did kind of warn you that would happen though."

  "I know." Melissa loved being right. But she wasn't going to like what I told her next. "But it's just too much. I think I'm going to take the rest of the semester off."

  "What? But the semester's halfway over already. Last time we talked you said you were going to finish. You even said you'd finish Comm, which I thought was crazy. Lucky for you, you just get an automatic A for shagging the professor."

  I laughed. "I didn't get an A. I had to withdraw from Comm."

  "I thought everyone was getting an A in James' classes?"

  "Every
one except for me. It was my fault too."

  "Sorry, Penny. That really sucks. But you can take it again next semester. There's no reason to drop all your classes. That's insane. Why would you want to just retake all the same things next semester?"

  "I'm actually not sure I want to take classes here next semester either."

  Melissa put down her eyeliner. "What are you talking about?"

  "I can't handle all of this..."

  "Penny, you can't just drop out of college. You don't want to be a college drop out! You don't want to be one of those girls who finds her dream guy and just forgets how to have her own life. You're being ridiculous. This isn't the sixties."

  "I'm not going to drop out of college. I'm just going to transfer to a different one."

  Melissa looked even more upset. "You can't leave."

  "I'm thinking about going to NYCU. It's only two and a half hours away. We can still visit each other all the time."

  "You're moving to New York? Penny, I'm sorry, I can't just say nothing about this. You barely even know James. You can't just up and move because he wants to."

  "It was my idea."

  "But why? Just because a few people are saying stupid stuff? Who cares. Just ignore them. You shouldn't run away and hide from your problems."

  "It's not just a few people. It's everyone. The whole campus hates me."

  "That's not true. I'm sure the people who weren't doing well in James' classes love you."

  "I can't go to class anymore. I just can't do it."

  "Why? I don't understand. Austin made you feel like shit for months and you handled that. These people don't even know you. I know you're stronger than that. If James is pressuring you to move then..."

  "It's not James, okay?! My intro to marketing professor hit on me."

  "What?"

  "He basically said he'd give me an A if I had sex with him. He grabbed my ass."

  "So we'll get him fired. He's the one that shouldn't be allowed to come to campus anymore, not you. Have you told the dean?"

  "No. My professor said if I told the dean he'd say I was the one that came onto him. Melissa, I don't want to have to deal with stuff like this for two more years. James and I need a fresh start. We need to go somewhere where people don't see us a student and a professor."