Love Inspired March 2014 - Bundle 2 of 2: North Country FamilySmall-Town MidwifeProtecting the Widow's Heart

by Lois Richer

  Autumn’s smile warmed him head to toe.

  “I don’t know about you, but I’m hungry. We could grab something in the cafeteria and eat it in The Birth Place waiting room,” she said.

  “Sounds good to me. I’ll treat.”

  “You don’t have to.”

  “What if I want to?”

  Several expressions chased each other across her face, all of which warmed him further. “Then I’ll let you,” she conceded.

  * * *

  Over the next few hours, Jon and Autumn paced the waiting room—sometimes solo, sometimes together—and hit the coffee machine in the hall for refills, which did nothing good for their growing tension.

  Autumn checked her watch. “Didn’t Christie say her labor was only six hours with Connor?”

  Jon stopped midpace. “Yeah. From my experience, this baby should have come faster, especially since it’s early.”

  “She’s early,” Autumn said.

  He ignored the edge to her correction. “I asked the attending to have someone let us know after the birth.”

  “And I told Christie I would stay. She said she’d have her husband come and tell us how the baby was.”

  They looked at each other, the wall clock ticking off another minute.

  “It has to have been six hours or more since Christie went into labor,” Autumn said. “I’ll go make sure the nurses know we’re here.” She turned and left.

  He dropped into the closest chair and held his head in his hands. The nursing shift would have changed since they’d arrived. If they were really busy today, the outgoing nurses could have forgotten to tell the incoming ones. He wanted to believe that was the case. The only other reason he could come up with was that there were complications prolonging the labor or—he swallowed—Christie’s husband wasn’t in any shape to come and talk with them.

  A few minutes later, Jon sensed, rather than heard, Autumn return. He lifted his head.

  “No baby yet,” she said. “And they know we’re here.” She raised her hands, which had an insulated paper cup in each. “I got us refills.”

  His stomach churned. He didn’t think he could swallow another mouthful of coffee.

  “It’s not from the machine.”

  His face must have given his thoughts away.

  “I got the good stuff, fresh brewed, from the nurses’ lounge.”

  He accepted the cup and took a sip. “Not bad.” While the brew was a lot better than the coffee from the machine, it still hit his stomach like a rock.

  Autumn settled in the chair next to him and lifted her cup to her lips. “What?” she said when she lowered it.

  “Pardon?”

  “You were staring at me.”

  He dropped his gaze to the cup he held in both hands on his lap.

  “You’re as worried as I am, aren’t you?” she asked.

  Jon’s first reaction was denial. Hanlon men didn’t admit fear or second-guess their decisions. But he was concerned. He’d expected the birth to go much faster. What had he missed? He’d gone over their actions several times while he was waiting for Autumn to return. “We could have had her airlifted here. But I didn’t see a need.”

  “And the accident on the Northway would have had the priority on those services, as it did with the local ambulance services,” Autumn said. “You’re not infallible. You can’t see everything.”

  But I’m supposed to be, or as close as possible. He lifted his head. Her light blue eyes shimmered with moisture. “What is it?” he asked.

  “I had a mother who had a placenta percreta. The placenta had grown through her uterus. I didn’t catch it during her prenatal care. The worst happened during the birth.”

  He swallowed, waiting for her to say she’d lost the mother.

  “She can’t have any more children.”

  “But she and the baby were okay.”

  She nodded. “They’re close friends of mine.” Her voice cracked. “We went to high school together. They wanted a houseful of kids. Now they can’t have that, and it’s my fault.” Her free hand gripped the armrest between them.

  He covered her hand with his. “Is that why you’ve given up delivering babies?” he asked, second-guessing himself again as he wondered whether he should have kept his question to himself. She looked so fragile. He didn’t want to pressure her.

  “Yes.” Her answer was barely audible. “You’re the only one I’ve told besides Jamie and Kelly.”

  His breath caught. Not even her family?

  “They saw me fail. I had to tell them.”

  But she didn’t have to tell him. She’d chosen to. His heart swelled.

  “During my next birth, I froze when the mother reached late labor. I had to send Jamie to get Kelly. It was awful.” Autumn wiped tears from her cheeks with the palms of her hands. “Fortunately, it was at the center, and Kelly was in the office. I said I was ill and left. I can’t take the responsibility, can’t do it anymore.”

  Jon massaged her hand with his thumb. He wanted to tell her “yes, you can.” He’d seen her at work at the center, at Lisa Kent’s delivery. But he knew no words could fix what was inside her. She, with the help of God, would have to do that herself.

  “Do you want to pray?” he asked.

  “Yes, for Christie and the baby.” She turned her hand and grasped his.

  The squeeze of her fingers calmed his jangled nerves. “Dear Lord. We ask You to be with Christie, to watch over her and to protect her life and the life of her baby.” And with Autumn to help her overcome her fears so she can be the midwife she wants to be, was meant to be, he added silently. It wasn’t eloquent, but it didn’t need to be. The loving God he was growing to know wouldn’t care what words he used.

  “Amen,” Autumn said, leaving her hand clasped in his until the sound of footsteps in the hall outside the room yanked them both from their reflective silence.

  She jumped to her feet as a very tired-looking man entered the waiting room.

  “Autumn?” he said.

  “Yes.” The word came out with a whoosh.

  “Christie said you’d be here waiting. And Dr. Hanlon.”

  The man must be Christie’s husband. Jon closed the space between him and Autumn in one stride and clamped his jaw shut to let the man speak at his own speed.

  “How are they?” Autumn rolled forward and back on the balls of her feet as if she couldn’t contain the pent-up energy that radiated from her.

  The fatigue lines bracketing Christie’s husband’s mouth deepened. Jon tensed, wanting and fearing to hear his next words.

  “They’re both fine, except for the baby’s nose. She came faceup and her nose was pushed over. The doctor said they’d tape it in place and it would be good as new tomorrow.”

  “How much does she weigh?” Jon asked. The nose was nothing. The doctor would have snapped the soft cartilage in place and that would be that.

  “Five pounds, fourteen ounces. Nineteen inches long.”

  “That’s a good size for a late preterm baby,” Jon said.

  “The pediatrician said Christie’s due date might have been off.”

  “The baby’s lungs?” Autumn shot out.

  “No apparent problems. She came out squalling, loud and angry.”

  “I’m so glad,” Autumn said. “Christie will be going home to Poughkeepsie?”

  “Yes, as soon as the pediatrician releases the baby. Hopefully by the end of the week.”

  “Ask Christie to give me a call before she goes home. She has my number now.”

  “I will.”

  “And will we see you at the lake next summer?”

  “Maybe even this fall for the vacation we missed out on this week, if the house is available.”

  �
�I’m sure that would be fine. Talk to Dad when you pick Connor up. I’ll look forward to seeing you all then.”

  “I’m going to get back to Christie. They’re setting me up to bunk in her room.”

  “Nice meeting you,” Jon said. “Maybe I’ll see you when you’re up in the fall, too.”

  Christie’s husband left the waiting room and Autumn turned to Jon. They stared at each other for a moment before Autumn threw her arms around him in a hug. Her relief fueled his in an electric charge that first held them in a motionless embrace and then pushed them apart with a force as strong as the one that had drawn them together.

  “I’m so glad everything turned out as well as it did,” she said, stepping back to widen the space between them.

  He reached for her hands and held them in his. “Me, too.” It had felt good to share his fears and relief, even if his words weren’t actually saying that.

  “Christie and the baby had to be okay. I couldn’t be responsible for another friend’s...” Her voice broke. “Tragedy.”

  The stark pain on her face tore his heart, so he did the only thing he could to relieve it. He pulled her hands and stepped toward her. Bending his head, he pressed his lips to hers to kiss her with all of the feelings that had been building inside him since that first evening when he’d toured the birthing center. When her grip on his hands relaxed, he lifted his head.

  His heart ached to comfort her more. “You have to stop blaming yourself. It’s God who has control over birth and death. We’re only His instruments. That’s why I’m an obstetrician. So He can use me to bring care to women who need my care, women like my cousin Angie.”

  Autumn blinked at him in confusion.

  He rushed on to explain what he’d never explained to anyone else, not even Nana when she’d supported his choice of medical specialty, although he suspected she had a good idea that he’d chosen obstetrics because of Angie. “Angie was a missionary in Haiti. She had complications after she went into labor and there was no doctor to help. She couldn’t get the care she needed.”

  “I’m so sorry,” Autumn said.

  “Thanks. Your birth wasn’t like Angie’s. She had no one who could help. Your friends had the best care possible, you.”

  “But I should have...”

  “No shoulds,” he interrupted. “Maybe God has a different plan for your friends.”

  A thoughtful look replaced some of the pain on her face. “Jamie said that Suzy and Jack have applied to become foster parents.”

  He nodded in reassurance. “See? And your quick action got Christie to Albany Med for the care she and her baby needed.”

  “My action, along with your help.”

  Help that Jon longed to continue to give Autumn until she regained her faith in herself, until she could confidently go back to catching babies for the women in her hometown who needed those services.

  Autumn’s lips turned up in a weak smile that called him to taste their softness again. He pulled her into his arms and did just that.

  When he released her, she smiled up at him. “We do work well together. In more ways than one,” she said, restarting the double-time tattoo of his heart that had finally started to slow.

  “We need to investigate those other ways.”

  “How do you propose we do that, Dr. Hanlon?”

  “We might try putting our kissing into a more appropriate setting by going on a date.”

  He loved the way her cheeks pinked when he’d said “kissing.”

  “I do hear that’s how other people do it.”

  He took her hands again. “Seriously, I care for you and want to see if whatever is going on between us is something real.”

  “Me, too.” She rose on her toes and gave him a peck on the lips.

  Her sweet response was almost enough to make him forget that a relationship with Autumn didn’t fit into his plans right now.

  * * *

  Autumn had fallen asleep on the drive back from Albany with the taste of Jon’s lips on hers and his admission that he reciprocated her feelings humming in her heart. They’d parted ways with another toe-curling kiss when they’d reached the duplex. Now, two days later, she still couldn’t get Jon’s kisses off her mind, although the anticipation of moving their relationship forward was waning. He’d yet to actually ask her out on a date.

  She took extra care braiding her hair into a French braid and applying her makeup, telling herself that her particular attention to her appearance was because she and Kelly had a meeting with potential new parents after Jamie’s appointment and not because she’d be seeing Jon.

  Enough! She dropped her mascara wand in her makeup bag. Who was she kidding? She wanted to look nice for Jon. He’d finally won her over. It hadn’t been his movie-star good looks or the killer smile that made other women swoon. It was getting to know him as a man who could be depended on, a man who wasn’t the cad her former roommate had made him out to be, nor the player he was reputed to be at Samaritan. A caring man she could share her personal and professional life with if her future in Paradox Lake were more certain.

  Chapter Fourteen

  “Whew!” Jamie fanned herself as she and Autumn walked back to their office from Jon’s after Jamie’s appointment. “What was that?”

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Autumn said. After she’d told Jon that it would be better to see Jamie the first time without her, Jamie had insisted she come this time. Autumn couldn’t very well tell Jamie she didn’t want to sit in on her appointment because Jon had kissed her, said he wanted to date her and then hadn’t asked her out. It was all too high schoolish.

  “You, Jon. The electricity in the air. I was afraid it would short out all of the electronics in the room.”

  Autumn lifted her hand and placed it on Jamie’s forehead palm out.

  “What are you doing?”

  “Did Jon’s nurse take your temperature?”

  “Ye-es.” Jamie drew out her answer.

  “I was checking to see if you have a fever that’s making you delirious.”

  “I’m not delirious. Admit it. There’s something sparking between you two.”

  Autumn bit back the “there is not” that leaped to her tongue. She didn’t want to sound like she was protesting too much. “Jon and I shared a harrowing birth on Sunday. My childhood friend Christie was vacationing at the house Dad rents out at the lake. Her baby wasn’t due for five more weeks, but her water broke and the baby was coming fast. We had to transport her to Albany Med. Everything turned out fine, but the experience brought us together.” Autumn touched her finger to her lips.

  “It’s about time,” Jamie said.

  Autumn ignored her comment and pushed the door to their office open.

  Lexi looked up from the computer. “Jon called. You forgot your meeting with him.”

  “Our meeting? I just came from Jamie’s appointment with him.” Autumn looked at Jamie, who grinned back at her.

  “I don’t know.” Lexi shrugged. “He sounded like he was expecting you. I said I’d send you right down,” she prompted when Autumn made no effort to leave.

  Send her down? If he’d wanted her to stay, he could have said something. As Autumn turned to leave, she heard a stifled giggle from Lexi followed by a “shush” from Jamie. Were Jon and them up to something? Her heartbeat quickened along with her steps. No. She stopped herself. He’d probably assumed she’d stay to go over Jamie’s appointment, and her friends were making more of it than there was.

  Jon met her in the hall outside his office and opened the door so they could enter.

  “We can talk here.” He motioned to the couch in the waiting area.

  Autumn sat. “Are you going to get your notes? I assume you want to talk about Jamie.”

  “No, this is pe
rsonal.” He made himself comfortable on the couch next to her; the clean, crisp smell of his aftershave emphasized his nearness.

  Autumn clasped her hands in her lap. Was this where he said he didn’t want to see her after all? That his admission Sunday evening had been a let-down reaction to the tension of Christie’s emergency delivery?

  “I finished my research on the center’s need for a gynecological nurse practitioner on staff and sent the request to HR.”

  That’s what he’d wanted to tell her? How was that personal?

  When she didn’t respond, he added, “I recommended you for the position, assuming it’s approved.” He leaned back into the couch, a Cheshire cat smile on his face.

  Nothing about their kiss or date or relationship? “Thank you,” she got out.

  “Stunned you, didn’t I?”

  “Yes. Yes, you did.” Stunned was right. If Jon’s request went through, her job situation here would be a lot more secure. And it could mean the birthing center’s financial situation was better than the center grapevine thought. In which case, she should be feeling more than stunned. Or it could mean the medical center was finessing appearances for a sale.

  “I’ll let you know as soon as I hear anything from HR.”

  “Please do.”

  “And, now...”

  The office door opened and Jamie and Lexi wheeled in a utility cart with a luncheon for two.

  “I wanted to take you out to lunch,” he said, “but didn’t have enough time between appointments, so I ordered in.”

  So that’s what Lexi’s giggle had been about. “My favorite. Seafood Cobb salad from the Corner Café. How did you know?”

  Jon nodded toward Jamie, who was slipping out the door behind Lexi.

  “I should have known.”

  He placed their meals and two glasses of iced tea on the table in front of the couch. “Surprised?”

  “Yes.” And pleased at the pains he’d taken to surprise her.