Kev

by Mark A Labbe

  I looked at Ruby and said, “How many times have I lost my memory?”

  “More times than I can count,” said Ruby.

  We sat at the bar and the bartender delivered two unordered drinks, saying, “This might help clear things up for you. By the way, I’m Max. Try to remember that.”

  “Thanks, Max,” I said, grabbing the glass of greenish liquid and taking a sip. I heard children laughing and playing and then a voice that said, “Hello, Kev. Welcome to The We Think You Should Know, but We Know You’re Going to Forget Experience.”

  “What?” I said, looking around for the source of the voice and then at Ruby.

  Ruby smiled and said, “It’s the green tea. Nothing to worry about.”

  The voice continued, “Kev, or shall I call you Kevin. Kevin is a much better name, don’t you agree? I mean, were your parents mentally challenged at the time they named you? Maybe they were drunk?”

  “Okay, call me Kevin,” I said, not caring either way, since I barely knew my own name.

  “Wonderful. So, you are about to experience the entirety of your life in the span of ten seconds. Pay attention and you might remember some of it. After that, we have a special treat for you.”

  In the next ten seconds I experienced an infinite number of lives, all of which I knew were mine, but none of which I recognized. I experienced bursts of infinite knowledge lasting fractions of fractions of picoseconds, moments of extreme agony and despair, joy I could not comprehend, and a near infinite number of things I would classify as absolutely confounding. At the end of the ten seconds, I found myself on my back in the bedroom I had just been in with Ruby. Ruby was straddling me and doing things I will not describe here, things that I prayed I would forget. That moment passed and I found myself back in the bar, facing Ruby.

  “Which one did you get?” she said.

  “Which what?”

  “Which green tea experience?”

  “Oh, I don’t remember the name.” While much of my memory of the green tea experience had faded, I remembered enough to ask, “How long have I been alive?”

  Ruby smiled. “I don’t really know, to be completely honest, but I think you have been alive for a very long time.”

  I tried to remember more from the experience, but the memories were like bright flashes in a dark room, imprinting on your retina and quickly fading away.

  Ruby steered the conversation away from the green tea experience, telling me about her home world, Nidia, and about Nidians and their curious way of drugging and intercopulating with unwitting victims, all in an effort to have children.

  Nidians could mate with pretty much any species in the universe. They were a type of hermaphrodite, possessing both male and female reproductive organs. They could get pregnant either intercopulating with a male or a female of almost any species, or they could (although they rarely did) impregnate themselves. Nidians never had sex with other Nidians (other than themselves), however, and generally regarded self-impregnation as giving up.

  A Nidian would have five children before going through a transformation that would render them sterile. Ruby, now pregnant with her fourth child, tried to persuade me to be the father of her fifth, arguing that it just wouldn’t be right for the her fifth child to have a different father. I told her four children was plenty and she was lucky I had given her that, to which she said, “We’ll see about that.”

  Ruby told me about a number of other places that she had been to in her life. She mentioned a planet called Gamma War and I stopped her. I remembered Gamma War, and something about a black hole sucking it into oblivion, but Ruby told me that had been in another, prior universe. Of course, I asked what she meant by prior universe and she said, “Well, you should know. You’re the one who once negated all the universes that ever existed with a wish.” She would say no more on the subject and moved on to Uthio Minor, my purported other home. Ruby claimed Uthio Minor was considered the ultimate paradise in the universe, a planet covered by a single ocean with only one island, a twenty-mile long crescent at the equator, two miles wide at its widest point. The island had a bar and two homes. The girl and I lived in one of the homes and Clive lived in the other. Ruby had already told me that Clive was my best friend, someone I had grown up with, and, of course, I believed her.

  She told me about another planet she claimed I had frequented, a place called Galthinon, a strange and immense world in another dimension. She said I used to go there quite often, but wasn’t sure why. She had never been there, but told me it was a beautiful world, a world I had created, something she had heard from two unnamed others. Ruby added that I was one of only three beings allowed to visit that world, the two others being the aforementioned beings who had described the beauty of Galthinon to her.

  By that point, I had gotten used to getting partial answers to my questions and vague descriptions of events, people and places. Several times, Ruby had mentioned something about rules, though she wouldn’t explain these rules. She claimed to have broken rule six, and possibly other rules, adding she wasn’t entirely sure because she wasn’t really paying attention when the rules were stated.

  We had some drinks and some laughs. Despite my rather alarming experience with Ruby, I found myself quite taken by her. She had tremendous depth and a terribly powerful urge to be a parent, loving children more than anything else. She told me about my sons, the three Kev’s and about my daughter Soph. She told me the children absolutely adored me and that I was an amazing father, at least when I was around, which more often than not was not the case.

  “So, do you want to go meet everyone?” said Ruby.

  “Do you have a spaceship or something?” I said.

  Ruby laughed, pulling out a little, purple cube from some hidden place in her dress. “No, Kev. We’re going to teleport there. What year do you think it is?”

  “Haven’t the foggiest.”

  “It’s a trick question, Kev,” called out Max.

  “Okay, what year is it?” I said.

  “Well, we’re in two thousand, sixteen, but the present is three thousand, three hundred, thirty-seven.”

  “So, let me get this straight. I’ve been traveling in time, right?”

  “Kev, you have traveled in time more than anyone I have ever met. Of course, most of the time you were using the black cube, so you…oh, shit. I shouldn’t have said that.”

  “What? What did you say?” I said, trying to remember what Ruby had let slip. Something about a black cube and time travel, I thought, but I wasn’t sure.

  “It’s nothing. Anyway, let’s go to Uthio Minor.”

  We appeared inside a home made of bamboo, with a thatched roof and floors that appeared to be made of cork, springy and strange. This appeared to be the family room of the house. Off to my right I saw the kitchen and a dining area. On a couch in the middle of the room, I saw a large, brown man with a silly grin on his face. This had to be Clive, based on what Ruby had told me. In the kitchen, with her back turned to me, I saw a young woman. At the dining table, I saw a young girl playing with some sort of holographic ball. The woman in the kitchen turned to me and smiled, and in that instant I remembered her from a brief glimpse of my childhood that I remembered from my green tea experience. This was my one true love.

  “Where have you been?” said the girl.

  “He doesn’t remember anything,” said Ruby, laughing.

  “Oh, too bad,” chuckled Clive. “I was hoping we could have some fun with the Proth Sphere.” I noticed a floating yellow sphere in the corner of the family room, wondering what it was for a moment before I heard it say, “Hey, Kev. You want to connect?”

  “Uh…”

  “Maybe later,” said Clive, getting up from the couch and giving me a bone crushing hug. “Great to have you back. Do you have that million dollars you owe me?”

  “What?” I said.

  “He’s messing with you, Kev,” said the girl.

  The young girl, who I assumed had to be Soph, came over and gav
e me a hug. “You want to play Mister Spider after dinner, daddy?”

  “Sure, if you tell me what Mister Spider is.”

  “It’s tickle torture!”

  I gave Soph a quick tickle on her sides and she screamed, pulling away and running to the other side of the room.

  “I’m going to give birth and then bring back the Kev’s,” said Ruby, disappearing.

  I felt an overwhelming urge to cry, wondering why I could remember nothing of my life.

  After dinner, I played with the three eldest Kev’s and Soph, running around the house, happy to have what I had, even if I couldn’t remember a damned thing. When I wasn’t playing with them, I sat with Ruby, holding Kev the fourth in my arms, a truly wondrous experience. Hours passed and night came; we all turned in.

  “I had sex with Ruby,” I said to the girl, feeling ashamed.

  “I know, Kev. It’s nothing to worry about. She drugged you. It’s her way.”

  “A pretty strange way, if you ask me, but I can’t complain. The Kev’s are amazing. Soph is wonderful too. I hate it that I can’t remember. I feel like I’ve missed out on so much.”

  “You’ll remember,” said the girl, kissing me softly and curling up next to me.

  I had a million questions, but harbored a very deep suspicion that I would get no answers.

  In the morning, I awoke alone, got up and found new clothes, and then went out into the family room. There I saw an older, wrinkly man sitting on the couch. The girl was in the kitchen, and Soph had gone out to play on the beach.

  “Ah, Kev. Back from the dead,” said the man, Aputi.

  “I’m sorry, but I don’t know your name,” I said.

  “Of course you don’t. I’m Aputi, or uncle Aputi as the kids call me.”

  “Are you related to me?”

  “God no. Just an old friend.”

  I sat beside Aputi, wondering if he would shed any light on things and was more than a little surprised to find him more than a little communicative. Much of what he told me I had already heard from Ruby, but there were a couple of things that were new to me. One, in particular, which he said in confidence to me, stood out. Aputi made me swear I would not tell anyone and then said, “Kev, in three days, the universe is going to come to a rather sudden end unless you help me find something that will allow me to save it.”

  “What’s that?”

  “A little, yellow cube.”

  “Where is it?”

  “How should I know? But, you can find it. That I am sure of.”

  “Well, shouldn’t we tell the others? They can help us find it.”

  “Absolutely not. They are the ones who are trying to end the universe.”

  “What?”

  “Nihilists, every last one of them, including the kids. They all want to terminate the universe forever, but you and I can stop them if you get me the yellow cube.”

  “But, I don’t remember anything. I have no idea where to look.”

  “Well, I know this much; the person who has it is a human female.”

  “Are the others really trying to end the universe or are you just pulling my leg?”

  “Pulling your leg? Hardly. This is quite serious, and if the others find out what you and I are trying to do, they will not be merciful.”

  I didn’t know what to believe. Here I was, living a new life with a family that seemed so wonderful, and now Aputi was telling me they were a bunch of nihilists who wanted to end the universe.

  “Before I lost my memories did I want to end the universe too?”

  “Absolutely not, and you were onto them and I know you were close to finding the yellow cube. Try to remember. You know where it is, I’m sure of it.”

  I searched my memories of my last green tea experience, hoping to find something there and caught a glimpse of a little, yellow cube in the hands of a woman, but I could not see the woman. However, I noticed a ring on one of her fingers, a little silver band with an amethyst. That stuck in my head. I knew that memory held the key to finding the yellow cube. However, I did not know who had it.

  “She has a ring,” I said.

  “A ring? Countless women have rings. Come on. Search deeper.”

  I probed deeper and remembered something about the yellow cube. It could be used to manipulate matter. Anything that could manipulate matter had to be uniquely powerful. In the hands of the wrong person it could lead to all sorts of horrors.

  The girl walked into the room, interrupting my train of thought, handing me a glass of greenish liquid, which I assumed was green tea, but not green tea. On her hand I saw a silver ring with an amethyst. I knew who had the yellow cube, but I couldn’t believe it, in much the same way that I couldn’t believe that the girl would want to terminate the universe. The girl kissed me and then returned to the kitchen.

  “Well?” said Aputi.

  “I have no clue where it could be,” I said, wondering if Aputi could be trusted. Nothing I had experienced in the last day supported the theory that the girl, Clive, and the others wanted to destroy the universe.

  “Well, in three days, we are all going to die, unless you find it. You don’t have it do you?”

  “No.”

  “Are you sure? You might have found it and forgotten.”

  “No. I have a clear cube, a red cube, and a black cube. No yellow cube.”

  “You have the red cube?” said Aputi, his eyes widening. Although Aputi did not know what the red cube could do, he believed, as did many in the universe, that it was an artifact of great power, an item that could give him great power.

  “Yeah. What is it?”

  Aputi had a hungry look. “Can I see it?”

  I started reaching into my pocket, but stopped, suddenly suspicious. “You know what, Aputi? I want to believe you, but I’m going to need some evidence to support your claim. For all I know you want this yellow cube to do something just as horrible as ending the universe.”

  Aputi’s shoulders sagged. “Well, don’t blame me when you don’t exist anymore, Kev.”

  “So, you can’t prove it?”

  “Look, I overheard them talking. Clive is going to use the Proth Sphere on you on your birthday and that will end the universe.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “The Proth Sphere,” hissed Aputi. “It makes all of your dreams and nightmares come true. One of your nightmares is the end of the universe. You see, in your nightmare, a giant nozzle sucks up the universe, destroying everything. Don’t you remember that?”

  In that instant, I did remember that nightmare quite vividly, and new weight was put on Aputi’s words. “So, where is the sphere? Maybe we can hide it somewhere.”

  “Clive has it and you are not going to be able to get it from him. We need the yellow cube, Kev. That is the only solution.”

  Of course, not everything Aputi said was false. The Proth Sphere could make that nightmare come true. Further, I did clearly remember the nightmare, so Aputi wasn’t lying about that. However, the part about Clive and the others connecting me to the sphere to end the universe could have been false, and was false, although I did not know that. What I did know was that I didn’t want to take any chances. I did not want the universe to end.

  “Maybe I should hide somewhere where they can’t find me.”

  “They’ll find you, Kev. They always do.”

  “Well, why didn’t they connect me to the sphere when I arrived? Why the wait?”

  “I don’t know. I only know what I heard. Now, if you could somehow control what you gave to the sphere while connected to it, none of this would be an issue, but you have lost your memories and I’m sure you don’t know how to do that.”

  Again, Aputi was telling the truth, but he had lied about Clive and the others connecting me to the sphere on my birthday.

  “Look,” I said, a plan forming in my troubled mind. “Why don’t you tell me how to fix this with the yellow cube and if I find it I will save the universe. I don’t want to be rude, but I don�
�t know if I can trust you.”

  “There isn’t enough time to train you, Kev. It takes years to master the yellow cube. You could do one thing wrong and turn the entire universe into a giant cesspool. Do you want that to happen?”

  “Then I’ll have to go into hiding, but I don’t know where to hide.”

  “I told you. They’ll find you. You have nowhere to hide.”

  “Then I’ll have to take my chances,” I said.

  “I swear you are the most stubborn human I have ever met. Just get the cube and I’ll teach you how to use it.”

  Later that day, while searching my bedroom, I found the yellow cube in a box underneath the dresser. I put it in my pocket and then took a walk on the beach. Aputi had left not long after our conversation, but said he would be back for dinner. He told me we would need to use the yellow cube to reorganize the Proth Sphere’s matter so that it couldn’t process my end of the universe nightmare. Of course, this was just rubbish. The Proth Sphere was pure energy, not matter. However, I knew nothing about the sphere, so accepted Aputi’s claim.

  I sat on the couch and turned on the TV, which happened to be a holographic television, something I found quite remarkable. I found some movie about a love affair between a beautiful Nidian and a snail and zoned out until the girl interrupted me.

  “Kev, have you seen my yellow cube?”

  I didn’t want to lie, so I said, “Why? What is it?”

  “It re-organizes matter. It’s gone missing.”

  “Do you think the kids might have it?” I said, careful not to lie.

  “I doubt it. Did you see Aputi go into the bedroom at any point?”

  “Aputi?”

  “Yes. Did he go into the bedroom?”

  “I don’t know, why?”

  “Because if he gets his hands on the yellow cube, all hell is going to break loose.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Aputi has wanted that yellow cube for ages, Kev. Don’t you remember when he wanted to wipe out everyone on Earth except for three million people and re-engineer their minds so he could ‘save the universe,’ and he tried to get you to find it for him?”