Such Happiness as This

by Laina Villeneuve

  Grace stopped at her car. She looked at the dark house and then back to Robyn. She placed her hand on Robyn’s shoulder. “I feel really bad for Kristine and Gloria, but I have to say we managed pretty well.”

  Robyn flashed a smile. “Yeah,” she said, distracted. Though it was after midnight, she didn’t want the night to end. Talking about how neither one of them wanted to have a baby made her wonder what other desires they had in common. Right now she very much desired another kiss. She remembered the last one viscerally and regretted presuming that she already knew the kind of person Grace was.

  Grace gave Robyn’s arm a little squeeze before she let go to open her car door.

  “I want…” Robyn stammered.

  Grace paused, waiting for Robyn to continue.

  “I don’t want to go home,” she said, feeling like an idiot when the words came out of her mouth. “I know it’s late, but I…” Robyn felt like she was floundering in a wild sea hoping Grace would reach in and rescue her, yet Grace kept her hands to herself. Under the soft glow of the streetlamp, she waited. Robyn’s insecurities laughed at her for even thinking about asking for what she wanted, noting Grace’s flawless complexion, her styled hair and expensive coat.

  She wanted to feel Grace’s arms around her again, feel their bodies meeting in all the right places and melt into the heat of her kiss, but couldn’t see what Grace would see in her, so opposite in poise and confidence.

  Pushing past the tides of doubt, she took a tiny step. She reached for Grace. She bent to pull Grace to her, gasping at the satiny warmth of Grace’s lips. Grace’s hands quickly slipped through Robyn’s hair, pulling her closer.

  Robyn’s arm curled around Grace’s hips to anchor her body as the kiss swept her away.

  Not letting go of her head, Grace pulled away enough to breathily ask, “You want…”

  “More.” Robyn sank back into the kiss.

  She felt Grace’s smile before she broke away again. Tipping her mouth out of reach she asked again, “You want?”

  Robyn pulled back enough that she could see Grace’s eyes. When she’d said more, she was thinking about how much she wanted to touch Grace. More skin. More contact. But she couldn’t say that out loud. She should ask for a date, take her out. Her spinning thoughts slammed into the regretful memory of telling the beautiful woman in front of her that she’d already dated her. “I want to say I’m sorry for presuming things about you before I even knew you.”

  “Your eyes are telling me something very different, but I accept your apology.” Grace captured Robyn’s sensitive earlobe between her teeth. “What do you really want?”

  Robyn inhaled sharply, tipping her chin into the soft warmth of Grace’s neck. “For you to follow me home,” she whispered. It was easier to say when she couldn’t see Grace’s reaction.

  Grace answered her with a slow, searing kiss. “Drive. I’m right behind you.”

  Chapter Thirty-Four

  Touch

  Robyn did her best to stretch to her bedside table to pull a stone out of her bowl without jostling the bed. A warm hand slipped around her hip and fanned across her stomach to pull her back into bed.

  “You’re not going anywhere,” Grace mumbled.

  “I wasn’t even trying.” Robyn glanced at her stone and smiled before placing it in the smaller bowl. She rolled back to Grace.

  “What was that all about?” Grace propped herself up on her elbow.

  “My morning meditation.” Robyn took her stone’s cue and ran her own palm over Grace’s lovely curves, marveling at the beauty of her in the morning light. “I have stones that have words on them. Today I got Touch,” she said huskily.

  “I very much enjoy your touch.”

  “I’m so glad to hear that.” Robyn’s hands wandered more freely.

  Grace’s muscles fluttered under Robyn’s attention. “How do I know this isn’t some morning-after line you offer all the girls?”

  “I never cheat.”

  Grace took a deep breath, and Robyn sensed her assessing her as well as the statement. A coy smile on her lips, she straddled Robyn to reach for the stone placed in one of the bowls on the small box next to Robyn’s bed. It gave Robyn the gift of her full nakedness. Grace ran the pad of her thumb across the lettering on the stone. Robyn ran both hands from Grace’s hips across her belly, teasing at the top of Grace’s curls with her thumbs and earning her a soft smack from Grace. “Can I try?”

  “Sure. Just don’t get a little one.” Robyn’s hands traveled up Grace’s belly, admiring her core muscles as she bent to take her own stone. Grace’s leaning also afforded Robyn better access to her pale breasts which she brushed with her palms before pushing Grace’s waves of hair past her shoulders. She didn’t care where her hands were as long as they were somewhere on Grace.

  “You just said you don’t cheat.”

  “It’s not cheating. It’s just that the small ones are Loss and Tears. Or God. I never know what to do when I get God.”

  Grace spun the stone to read her meditation. Robyn watched Grace’s expression as she held the stone’s word secret from her. “I think you should stop rigging your selection.” Seductively, she traced the stone from Robyn’s clavicle between her breasts and rested it in Robyn’s belly button.

  She felt by the way it nestled perfectly that Grace had picked one she would have passed by. Brow furrowed in question, she peeked at the lettering. Joy.

  “Prophetic,” Grace said without any trace of teasing.

  Gently, Robyn set Grace’s stone next to her own, trying to remember how long her fear of loss and tears had caused her to avoid joy. The two stones would spend the day together, and she willed Grace to stay too. She pulled Grace into a kiss that made her body hum with the memory of their night of exchanged pleasures. As she rolled Grace back into the mess of sheets and blankets, her phone buzzed.

  She glanced at the screen and said to Grace, “Kristine.”

  “Answer it.”

  Reluctant to interrupt her morning with Grace, she answered nevertheless. “Moshi moshi.” She pursed her lips as Kristine quickly updated her on how the kids slept, adding that it would make her life a hundred times easier if she didn’t have to feed Bean.

  “Consider it done.” She smiled apologetically at Grace as she said goodbye.

  “What’s moshi moshi? You said that when I called from Kristine’s.”

  Robyn ran her hand along the curve of Grace’s hip. “It’s how the Japanese answer their phones. Whenever I called here, my grandmother answered ‘moshi moshi.’”

  Grace closed her eyes for a moment. “I like that.” She opened her eyes, exploring Robyn’s face. “Go.”

  “You’re sure?” Robyn asked. She hated to leave so abruptly, especially with her body begging to linger with Grace’s all day long.

  “It sounds easier than babysitting.” Grace looked at the clock. “And according to Kristine’s schedule, you’re already late.”

  Robyn laughed, remembering how she had watched Grace struggle to help her friend at the barn after Eliza was born. “You’re welcome to join me.”

  “Oh, no. I don’t see what fun you and Kristine see in the animals. I’m very happy where I am unless you were hoping to sneak me out the back door.”

  As Robyn backed down the steep ladder to her room, Grace stretched forward on her arms across the mattress. Robyn paused to kiss her once more. “I’d have to sneak you out via the rooftop if that was the case. Stay as long as you like. I’ll be at least an hour.”

  Grace slumped her chin onto her crossed arms watching Robyn on her way down. “In that case, I’ll get up in a few and forage for something to eat if that’s okay.”

  “Anything you want.” Robyn descended the rest of the way into her room to dress.

  “Anything?” She peeked at Robyn alluringly from the loft.

  Her question drove Robyn up the steps again where she stole another kiss. “What did you have in mind?”

  “Meeting back
here. I have to go to work tomorrow, and I haven’t had nearly enough of you.”

  Robyn’s head swam with desire and surprise. She couldn’t wrap her mind around the fact that Grace was thinking exactly what she had imagined her day to be. A slow smile crept across her face.

  “I can see what you’re thinking. Go. The faster you go, the faster you’re back.”

  “Agreed,” Robyn said, finally wrenching herself away, stumbling as she hastily threw on clothes to get her feeding chores out of the way as soon as possible. She could hear Grace’s laughter trail after her as she hit the stairs, taking them two at a time.

  Chapter Thirty-Five

  Grace lay in Robyn’s attic loft grinning like a schoolgirl. She closed her eyes and thought about where her morning would have gone had Robyn not had the horses. Exploring her own skin, she thought of how different Robyn’s skilled woodworking hands felt against her body, how the lightest of touches made her tingle to her core. And her hands on Robyn’s soft skin, how different it felt to traverse the same landmarks on another body taking in the strength of her arms, back, thighs. She needed to get up, get dressed, find something to eat, but all she could do was think about how they had created their own world with their arms around each other.

  She skipped her bra, pulling on just her shirt, panties and slacks. Without Robyn to warm her, she shivered outside the covers and wished for a sweatshirt which she found on the last stair when she descended into Robyn’s room. Touched, she pulled on both it and the thick socks Robyn had left and crept down the main staircase to the house’s first floor.

  Someone was in the kitchen bustling about and making Grace feel shy. If it was Jen, she’d have some explaining to do. If it was another tenant she hadn’t met… She hated having to face anyone at all in her morning-after glow, and put it off by using the bathroom at the bottom of the stairs first.

  Bladder relieved, hands and face washed, she had no more excuses and breezed into the kitchen doing her best to project Robyn’s invitation to make herself at home.

  “Morning,” Jen said without a hint of surprise. “Hungry?”

  “I thought I’d make some toast.”

  “Best to use the loaf right there on the counter.” She rummaged in a drawer. “Here’s the bread knife. Butter? Jam?”

  Grace accepted the knife. “Both, thanks.”

  “Tea or coffee?”

  “You don’t have to play hostess,” Grace said, feeling like she was intruding.

  “It’s no problem. I know where everything is.”

  “This isn’t a little weird?”

  “It’s great. Robyn looked pretty darned happy on her way out of here.”

  “Can we not talk about this?”

  Smiling, Jen set down the butter and jam. “Okay. You want to talk about rehearsal?”

  “No. That would be even weirder.” The toaster popped, and Grace frowned at the product, toasted only on one side. “Your toaster is broken.”

  “You gotta flip it around to toast the other side,” Jen said. “But count to fifteen and then pop it. Otherwise it’ll burn.”

  Grace flipped the toast and started scanning the open-faced cupboards in search of a teacup.

  “Mugs are to the left of the sink.”

  While Grace extracted a mug from a precariously-jammed shelf full of mugs of all shapes and sizes, Jen popped her toast. “Thanks,” she said, accepting that Jen wasn’t going to play along with her wanting to be unobtrusive. “Teabags?”

  “Second shelf to the left of the mugs. Kettle’s already hot.”

  While she buttered her toast, Grace weighed how impolite it would be to carry her breakfast upstairs to escape Jen’s company.

  Having brewed two cups of tea, Jen stood poised with her bowl of yogurt and granola. “The sun’s out. I’m taking my breakfast out back.”

  Sucking up her desire to be alone, Grace took her own plate and tea and walked outside. The view from the back porch stopped her short. Whenever she drove to campus, she admired the Humboldt State University buildings nestled in the redwood forest, and that was the scene that greeted Robyn every time she stepped out of her home.

  “Nice, isn’t it?”

  “Redwood forest from the back porch, the bay from your studio: what a place!”

  “I know. I may never leave.” Jen sat in one of two plastic chairs under a tree. Grace sat next to her.

  “Are these fruit trees?”

  “This one is a Bing cherry,” Jen confirmed. “Another month or so, and we’ll be in heaven. Like I said, never leaving!”

  “What’s in the raised beds?” Grace asked.

  Jen launched into a list of what Robyn grew and how generous she was to share so much of her harvest with the tenants, and somehow turned the conversation to music. So when Robyn returned from the stable and found the two of them still together, Grace had entirely forgotten her unease and smiled warmly, welcoming her back.

  Robyn walked right to Grace’s chair, resting her hand on Grace’s shoulder. “Success in the kitchen?”

  “With Jen’s help,” Grace said.

  Jen stood. “See you later this week, or…around.” She waggled her eyebrows, gathered both of their dishes and disappeared.

  Robyn sat in the vacated chair. “Has it been okay?”

  “Only a little awkward.”

  Robyn reached for Grace’s hand, resting it on her thigh. “You have on way more clothes than I pictured.”

  “I’m sure you weren’t picturing me in your backyard. I hope you weren’t picturing me naked in your backyard,” she revised.

  “No. I didn’t know you’d have breakfast with Jen.”

  “It seemed rude not to, and it was fine. If we were at my place, we’d have Tyler.”

  She was just about to ask Robyn about her idea to spend the day in bed when a pale young man in blue surgical scrubs entered the yard through the gate. He wore his short, dark hair spiked off his forehead and a tidy mustache.

  He smiled brightly when he saw them. “Nice day for it.”

  “Isaac, this is Grace. Grace, Isaac.”

  Isaac’s gaze lingered on Grace for longer than she was comfortable. “Enjoy it for me.” He climbed the second set of stairs that had puzzled Grace the evening she had found Robyn in her shop.

  Robyn squeezed her hand. “Sorry.”

  Grace wondered if she was sorry for the interruption, for how he’d looked at her or for what his words insinuated. “How many tenants do you have?” she asked.

  “One more. Sergio has the room downstairs.”

  “I didn’t even know there was a room downstairs.”

  “Across from the living room. He keeps his door closed.”

  “So three tenants.” Spending the day with Robyn took on an entirely different feel.

  Robyn rubbed the web between Grace’s thumb and forefinger. “You’re regretting your decision to stay.”

  Grace appreciated that Robyn wasn’t asking, that she could sense the shift in her mood. She took a breath, quieting the disappointment she felt.

  “How about we walk up to the redwoods?” Robyn suggested.

  “There are trails behind campus aren’t there?”

  “And the community forest. We can walk from here.”

  “Like go on a date?”

  Robyn swept Grace’s hair back to expose her neck, tickling the sensitive skin behind her ear. “Probably a good thing to go on a date before I drag you back to bed, don’t you think?”

  “Who says you’re doing the dragging?” Grace stood and pulled Robyn from her chair and into a kiss.

  “Okay. I’ll let you take a turn dragging. Does that mean I get you the whole day?”

  “I told Tyler I’d be home for lunch, but I didn’t make any promises about being home tonight.”

  “Nice that you can just tell him to fend for himself?”

  “Indeed,” Grace said, recalling what a relief it had been to walk away from Kristine’s little ones the evening before. But even though
her brother didn’t depend on her like an infant or toddler, she still felt the responsibility of caring for him. That complicated how she’d rather spend her time.

  Chapter Thirty-Six

  Confidence

  “You don’t have to do this.”

  “I want to see what the fuss is about,” Grace said. “And now that I’ve seen you in your breeches, I’d follow you anywhere.”

  “Very funny.”

  “I’m not kidding. Those pants are something else.”

  She slid her hand along the taut nylon stretch of Robyn’s blue riding breeches before Robyn could duck into Bean’s stall to hide her embarrassment. Barb had never commented on her body or openly talked about being attracted to her at all. She smiled to herself. Then again, Barb had never seen her in her riding attire. She haltered Bean and led him to the crossties. “Here’s your mount.”

  Not hiding her disapproving scowl Grace crossed her arms. “Why do I have to ride the funny-looking one? Yours is so much prettier.”

  “Bean is gorgeous. Most people would much rather have the paint than the boring bay.”

  “But look at his face.”

  “What?”

  “He has funny ears.”

  “He’s a mule, you know? He’s supposed to have long ears.” Robyn pulled out a curry and brush and made quick work of the grooming, so she could saddle them.

  “Kristine owns a mule?” Robyn could hear the dubiousness in Grace’s voice.

  “Her family breeds them over in Quincy, and their crosses are exceptional. This one is out of a champion barrel racer. You’ve seen her, right? Kristine said you helped her sell the series of photos she took of Dani riding Bean’s dam. We met her at Kristine’s birthday.”

  “Fine. You’re so impressed, you ride it.”

  “You’ll change your mind when you see the saddles,” Robyn predicted. She finished picking out the animals’ hooves and outfitted them with their tack.