Loner

by Janine Infante Bosco

  “It’s not about whether I’m prepared for you or a question of whether I’m willing to wait for you. It’s about understanding I have a say too. It’s accepting we were meant to ride through life together and respecting me enough to include me in any decisions regarding our life. It’s about owning your fears and facing them together. I’m not blind to what you stand for, Linc. My eyes have always been wide open.”

  The fears that forced us apart are still there and very much valid but, living in fear isn’t really living. It’s existing and Kelly is right, life is too short to just stay idle. What good is being on this earth if you’re not doing the things that make you happy? Once upon a time, this girl was everything to me. She was the other half of my heart, the other half of my soul. She still owns all those parts of me. Walking away from her didn’t extinguish those facts and neither would danger.

  Yeah, my life is fucked and I’m not the guy anyone wants for their daughter but, I’m certain no one will ever love her as much as I do. She’s no stranger to my lifestyle, something I didn’t take into consideration before. In fact, she’s the very reason I wanted to be a Knight. It was those days and nights we spent together when she taught me the fundamentals of the club and showed the lifestyle from her eyes.

  Putting on that vest doesn’t only make me an outlaw. There are other sides to being a Knight, sides that are often overshadowed by the mayhem we breed. It’s the loyalty, the respect, the family you choose. It’s finding acceptance in the cold world. It’s not every day a man finds a woman who accepts all his flaws. It’s not every day a man finds a woman strong enough to ride the wind with him.

  “Be sure you want me. Be sure you’re ready for me,” she whispers, leaning closer to me. “Do you know what’s better than a good comeback?”

  “What’s that?” I rasp. Drawing in a breath, I touch my forehead to hers and stare at her lips as they curve.

  “A happily ever after and a pink dog.”

  The sliders shut startling us both and we pull away from one another. Glancing over Kelly’s shoulder, my eyes widen when I see Jack standing next to Nico.

  “Is now a bad time?” he asks cocking an eyebrow.

  “No,” I reply, straightening my posture.

  Tucking her hair behind her ears, Kelly slowly turns around and faces Jack and Nico. Her cousin wiggles his eyebrows suggestively as he crosses his arms.

  “I was just leaving,” Kelly says.

  “That’s not what it looked like from where I’m standing,” Nico points out, nudging Jack with his elbow. “Am I right Uncle Jack or what?”

  Rolling her eyes, Kelly walks over to the two men and laces her arm with Nico’s.

  “Grow up,” she mutters. “Let’s go.”

  “Where are we going?”

  “It’s no wonder they won’t let you prospect,” she replies, leading him out of the kitchen. Jack’s gaze follows them until they disappear from the room, his lips quirking slightly before he slices his eyes back to me.

  “So, you and Wolf’s niece, huh?” he questions.

  Rounding the table, he pulls out a chair and turns it around. Straddling the back, he takes a seat and motions for me to do the same.

  “Yeah,” I reply, pushing my walker away.

  “I can’t say I’m surprised,” he admits. “I’m a crazy motherfucker but, I’m a perceptive one too. Saw it the second she rolled her wheels onto Wolf’s driveway and your eyes met. Wolf says you two knew each other way back when.”

  “We did,” I say, taking a seat.

  “It’s funny, you’ve been with me what, two years now? And until that girl came barreling in here I had no idea you were with Sin’s charter or that Wolf’s niece was your former old lady.”

  “You never asked,” I point out. “And, she wasn’t my old lady. I never claimed her to the club.”

  “Any particular reason?” Jack questions, giving me his undivided attention.

  “I was a pussy,” I admit. “I don’t know how much Wolf has told you about my past…” I say, watching him intently.

  The thing about Jack is, no matter how hard you try to read the man, you never can. I don’t know if that has anything to do with him being bi-polar or if it’s just the way he’s trained himself to be. He doesn’t give you a glimpse into his head and until now it was never a concern of mine. The man never paid much attention to me and it makes me wonder the nature of his visit.

  “He didn’t tell me anything,” he admits. “I never asked him to find you or the others either. He took matters into his own hands and came back with four men who fit the bill,” he says with a shrug. “I didn’t need to ask about your past or run a background check on any of you. Wolf gave me his word, and that’s golden in my book. It helped that the four of you proved your worth the minute your feet touched our streets.”

  “Well, before I became a Knight, I was just a kid on the streets of Nashville trying to make something out nothing.”

  “Nashville, huh? That got anything to do with why you offered to sing at my wedding?”

  “I played the guitar,” I admit. “Sang some too but, had a girl who was born to sing.”

  “There’s always a girl,” he comments.

  “I guess there is,” I agree. “Anyway, I was a kid. I fucked up, and she paid the price. I started gambling and when I lost big, she lost her life. It was brutal, and I never thought I’d find another girl who made me feel the way she did much less allow myself to love her.”

  “In comes Wolf’s niece,” Jack interjects.

  “Never saw her coming,” I reply.

  “We never do,” he says, crossing his arms over the back of the chair. “Reina crept up on me.”

  “I bet,” I tell him.

  “She was engaged to my brother,” he reveals, meeting my gaze. “Life got a funny way of bringing people together, kid,” he shares his wisdom.

  Realization dawns on me and I can’t help but laugh at him.

  “What’s so funny?”

  “This is the talk,” I say, pointing a finger at him. “The one you give everyone,” I accuse. “Where you tell me to find my heart and all that.”

  He stares at me blankly.

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he says, convincingly.

  “Are you pulling my leg?” I ask narrowing my eyes.

  “Is it working?”

  “You almost had me,” I admit. “So, you are here to give me the talk then.”

  “That’s not why I’m here,” he says with a shake of the head. “But, if that girl is the one thing that will keep you from being reckless, then you grab a hold of her and hang on tight. Every man needs a good woman to reel him back when he’s drowning. And she rides,” he says. “That is reason enough to wife her.”

  “Thanks for the talk, Jack, but, I don’t need any convincing,” I tell him. “When the dust settles on this mess with Yankovich and I’m sure I have a future to give her, I’m claiming her. The whole fucking world is going to know that girl is mine,” I rasp hoarsely. “Second chances are hard to come by, I won’t blow mine.”

  “Second chances are hard to come by,” he repeats, thoughtfully.

  “You don’t agree?” I ask, watching as his eyes flicker with something I can’t quite place. Jack is truly fascinating to watch. I mean if you’re ever bored, just sit in front of him and watch the crazy unfold. It’ll blow your mind watching him disconnect from reality.

  “No, I do,” he says, finally. “You just reminded me of someone I used to know.”

  Suddenly I feel like I’m on the edge of something big, something deeper than Jack’s find your heart speech.

  “You’ve heard the stories of Cain,” he starts, and I go still at the mention of my father. “Well, that’s something he used to say. After my son died, I thought about killing myself and he stepped in. He reminded me that I still had a daughter that needed her father and encouraged me to get help. Actually, he begged me to get help and to be the best father possible. I eventua
lly caved and the first time I was ever committed to the psych ward, Cain came to see me. I don’t remember much. A lot of my life is colored in shades of gray due to my illness but, I remember that day. Which is strange considering I was likely doped up on sedatives,” he pauses, lifting his head in thought. “Isn’t that funny?”

  I can’t speak.

  I can’t do anything but blink.

  Hanging on his every word, I stare at him and wait for him to give me more. More of my father. More of himself.

  “He told me he had cancer, that the doctors gave him six to eight weeks. Then, he told me second chances are hard to come by and to get well so I could make the most out of mine. That’s also the day he told me he wanted me to take his place as president. Imagine that? I was in a straightjacket, committed to a psych ward, a certifiable man on lithium and there was Cain, handing me his throne.”

  He shakes his head.

  “I wish I knew what he was thinking,” he rasps. “Every fucking day, I wake up and ask myself why me, why did he think I was fit to rule this club.”

  Sighing, he turns to me.

  “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to unload all that on you.”

  Trying to find my voice, I shake my head.

  “It’s fine.”

  If there was ever a time to tell this man who I am, it’s now but, as quick as the thought enters my mind so does Wolf’s voice. Torn between the man my father trusted with his club and the man my father trusted to keep me safe, I remain quiet.

  “I came here to thank you,” Jack says. “I know you suffered, that you’re still suffering every day you’re unable to ride, and I gotta tell you, I’m proud to call you a brother,” he says reaching out to touch his hand on my shoulder. “You’re a strong motherfucker, Linc. I can’t say that if I was in your shoes, I’d have the will to fight as hard as you do every day. Wolf is a crazy bastard but, he’s smart and he’s got an eye for good people. Loyal people. He did good by bringing you nomads here and I’m grateful for him and for the four of you. We joke that he scoured the east coast looking for four fools eager to join our club but, what he found was four souls who breathed life back into a bunch of battered men. Four people who everyday remind me what being property of Parrish truly means.”

  He gives my shoulder a pat before rising to his feet. Righting the chair, he tucks the seat under the table and turns to me.

  “When you claim that girl of yours, make sure she knows she’s not only yours to keep safe but all of ours. Make sure she knows she has a place in my family, right next to you.”

  It takes everything in me to muster a nod as I stare into his dark eyes.

  I’ve spent my whole life chasing the legacy of my father, trying to find my place in his world and I realize then, I never needed it. I never needed to be Cain’s son. All I needed was to find my heart and accept I am property of Parrish.

  Chapter Thirty-one

  “Get dressed,” Linc calls from the doorway. Twisting around, I look over the back of the couch as he shuffles into the living room with his walker. It’s the first time since I arrived that he’s wearing jeans. Fucking jeans that mold his thick thighs and hug his impressive cock. A groan escapes the back of my throat as I lift my gaze, noting the view up top is just as sweet as it is below the waist. The cotton of his thermal stretches over his biceps making it abundantly clear he’s put on some muscle since starting physical therapy.

  Is it wrong to want to swing from his arms?

  Fuck, I don’t give a damn. Sign me up.

  Bringing the walker to a stop, he stands tall and grabs the worn leather cut draped over it. Shrugging it on his shoulders, he tips his chin toward me.

  “Did you hear me?”

  “I’m sorry,” I say, blinking as he smooths a hand down the patches. “Were you talking to me?”

  “No, I was talking to the pint of Cherry Garcia ice cream in your lap. Cobra and Celeste will be here in twenty minutes to pick us up,” he says.

  Glancing down at the ice cream on my lap, I try to place which couple he’s referring to. Someone should really consider dubbing Brooklyn the city of brotherly love since everyone here seems to be in a relationship.

  “That’s the couple with the little girl, right?”

  “Yeah, and they’re having another one,” he supplies, dropping down on the couch next to me. His cologne assaults my senses and I shove another spoonful of ice cream into my mouth. Taking the spoon from my mouth with one hand, he uses the other to snatch the pint of ice cream.

  “Hey, give that back,” I say, lifting my palm to my forehead. “Fuck,” I growl as a bout of brain freeze slams into me.

  “You’re done,” he says, placing the pint on the coffee table. “Now, go get dressed. Cobra hates being late for anything.”

  “Late for what?”

  “The eight of us are going to The Crazy Taco,” he reveals.

  “Who is the eight of us?” I ask.

  Raising an eyebrow, I lower my hand.

  “Me, you, Celeste, Cobra, Deuce, Ally, Stryker, and Gina.”

  “Whoa,” I interject. “What?”

  Rolling his eyes, he twists his torso to face me.

  “Don’t make a big deal out of it,” he says. “The guys just figured we all could use a night out before all hell breaks loose and since they’re all wifed up and don’t do anything without their women, it became a couple thing.”

  After last week’s episode in the kitchen, Linc and I haven’t mentioned where we go from here. We both have made our intentions clear but, until this mess the club comes to a head, neither of us is willing to make a move. For him, he wants to make sure he comes out of this thing alive and for me, I want to make sure he understands I am my own person. We both want to give it another go, there is no denying that, but, we’re kind of stuck in purgatory.

  “So, I’m your plus one,” I tease.

  “You know there are better ways to use that mouth of yours,” he points out.

  “Ha!’ I exclaim, slapping his shoulder. “That’s something you have to earn,” I add, scrambling off the couch. “And to be clear, it’s going to take a lot more than a few tacos to get this mouth,” I pause, pointing a finger to said mouth before continuing. “…where you want it.”

  A mixture of mischief and want flit across his features as he leans back against the couch.

  “I’ve waited this long,” he says. “Besides, I’ve got my sights on something sweeter.”

  “Is that right?”

  “Baby, I’ll take your pussy over your mouth any day. Now, go get dressed before I call Cobra and tell him we’ve made other plans.”

  I know I’m playing with fire but, sue me—I don’t remember the last time I had an orgasm. Up until now, I’ve been able to control my attraction to Linc. I was too hurt and too angry to want him but now, the ice around my heart is starting to melt and my vagina has decided she’s done being on strike.

  “Just so we’re on the same page, what would those other plans be?”

  “You naked and riding my face.”

  “I wanted to be sure,” I say swallowing. “I’ll go get dressed.”

  “Later, then,” he says with a wink. “Oh, and Pinky, while you’re in the shower don’t do my job,” he warns. “I’ll know if you’ve touched what’s mine.”

  Holy mother of God!

  It’s like he’s inviting me to finger myself in the shower.

  Part of me wants to defy his wishes, while the other part knows it will be much more rewarding if he’s the one getting me off. As I climb the stairs, I chastise myself for my illicit thoughts. Making my way toward the bathroom, I start to wonder just how bad of an idea, getting naked with Linc might be. Deciding to throw caution to the wind and let the chips fall where they may, I step into the shower. I’m not going to over analyze things tonight. This is a first for us. Going out with couples even though technically, we’re not a couple. I don’t want to ruin tonight by abiding by some set of imaginary rules. I’m going to follow my
gut and go with what feels right. If I happen to end up straddling Linc’s face, so be it.

  Stepping out of the shower, I make my way to Nico’s room. Since my arrival, the simple space has turned into a tornado of clothes. Grabbing a pair of jeans, a simple white tank and my favorite leather jacket that resembles the British flash, I dress. Staring at the alarm clock next to the bed, I decide there isn’t much time to style my hair and opt to slick it back in a high ponytail. Next, I take the first tube of lipstick I find, a dark crimson shade, and apply it to my lips. Quickly, I brush a coat of mascara onto my already long eyelashes and slip my feet into my favorite pair of riding boots.

  By the time I make my way down the stairs, Linc is standing at the door. Slowly he turns around and I watch his eyes travel up my body. The heat in his eyes makes me wet and I regret the decision not to relieve myself in the shower.

  “You’re in for it tonight,” he growls as I reach the final step. Extending his arm, he takes my hand and pulls me close to him. “You’re beautiful, you know that.”

  “What I know is you’re trying real hard to get me naked,” I tease, as his breath mingles with mine.

  “Is it working?”

  “Guess we have to wait to find out,” I rasp. He dips his head and I hold my breath as his mouth inches closer to mine. Teasingly, he kisses the corner of my mouth. A groan slips past my lips and he grins devilishly.

  “It’s going to be a long night,” he murmurs, leaning back.

  It sure as fuck is.

  Cobra emerges, taking Linc’s walker and shoving it into the back of his SUV. It takes some time for Linc to get down the few steps but, he does it with no assistance from me or Cobra. Reaching the truck, Linc and I slide into the back seat. Before Cobra pulls away from the curb, Linc laces our fingers together.

  “There’s a change in plans,” Cobra reveals. His eyes meet Linc’s in the rearview mirror. “The Crazy Taco is closed.”