The Darkest Pleasure

by Jenika Snow

  * * * *

  Kerian picked me up at sundown—not a surprise, since he was always punctual. I now stood in his sitting room, staring at the same pictures I'd stared at before. I knew now the man in each photo was Kerian, and as hard as it was to believe, I did believe.

  "Why did you take a picture of yourself in each era?"

  He stood by the fireplace and poked at the logs as the flames licked through them. He didn't turn around to look at me.

  "I wanted a memory of my time there. Believe it or not, I'm quite sentimental."

  He turned to me then, smiling as he laid the poker down and walked over to me. He stood behind me and for a while and we stared at the photos.

  "This is me in the twenties. And that one is from the thirties."

  He pointed out each picture and the date it was taken. I ran my finger over each one, trying to see back to those times, to the man Kerian had been. When he got to the last one, which looked fairly recent, he turned me around and pressed me against the shelves. His tongue delved between my lips before I knew what his intentions were. He stroked the inside of my mouth, and I felt myself get wet with arousal. He stepped closer to me and I could feel him swell. I ran my hand down his stomach and over the bulge as it pressed through his pants as if trying to escape. I pushed at his shoulders until he backed up. He looked down at me with lust-filled eyes that made my heart skip a beat.

  "If we keep this up, I won't get any of my answers."

  He chuckled before kissing me again and stepping away from me. He walked over to the bar and poured two glasses of wine, then sat in one of the chairs and gestured for me. I walked over, taking the glass from his outstretched hand. I seated myself in the chair opposite of him and sipped the wine. The liquid was warm going down my throat, but it felt like a lead weight when it got to my stomach. I felt nervous about the questions I was going to ask, but I needed to know.

  "Ask away, my love."

  His endearments made me blush, but I knew he liked that since a wide grin crossed his face when I felt my face get hot. I cleared my throat before taking another sip and setting my glass down.

  "Are you immortal?"

  That was the first question that popped into my mind, and one of the more frequent ones I assumed he got—if he ever got any.

  "I am."

  "Are there many of you? I mean vampires, immortals?"

  "I assume so, although I've only met one other like me since I've been turned."

  I nodded and ran my finger over the rim of my glass. “And you drink blood?” I swallowed at my own question and looked up at him through my lashes. I wasn't sure I wanted to know if he drank blood. I knew though, in the back of my mind, that he did indeed drink blood. After I asked my questions, a memory flashed through my mind of the first time Kerian and I had been together intimately. I brought my hand to my neck, which seemed to throb at my memory. I remembered the sharp pain and then the ecstasy that followed.

  "I couldn't help myself with you. You smelled so good, felt so good, but I do apologise because I should have had more control."

  "So you did drink my...blood?” I wasn't repulsed as I thought I would be. Instead, I felt wetness start to coat my vaginal lips as I remembered the feeling of him at my neck. I heard a low growl and my eyes snapped to his. He looked at me through half-lidded eyes, his hands braced flat on the table.

  "Whatever you're thinking about is making you wet and driving me crazy. You smell so good, Ashliyn."

  I crossed my legs, thinking that would alleviate some of the pressure, but it had the reverse effect. It caused my pussy lips to press together, and since I was pretty wet as it was, they slid together and pinched my clit. I shook my head and gave Kerian a hard stare. “Don't even think about switching things around. You're not going to avoid telling me what I want to know.” He stared at me and then smiled and leant back in his chair. He lifted his arms above his head and linked his fingers together. His shirt tightened around his chest and his biceps, giving me a tantalising glimpse of his well-defined body.

  "Fair enough. I do drink blood, but since bagged blood is now available, I use that as my main source of sustenance instead of drinking straight from humans."

  "So, I'm the only human you've ever bitten?” My hand went to my neck again, pleasure washing through me at the erotic thought of Kerian biting me. He leant forward, resting his elbows on his knees.

  "No, you have to remember I lived during a time when there was no bagged blood. My main source of sustenance was through humans or animals. Although now I refrain from drinking directly from a human, I can't seem to help myself around you. You smell so good, look so good. The first time I bit you was an accident, and I hated myself for that. I didn't know if I should see you again. I was afraid I wouldn't be able to control myself, and would end up hurting you. I couldn't stay away from you, though."

  I breathed out, surprised at his admission. My heart had stopped at the knowledge he'd contemplated never seeing me again. The emotions that went through me were so strong, I had to remind myself to breathe.

  "Well, I'm glad you changed your mind."

  We stared at each other, then a smile broke across his features and he laughed softly.

  "Oh sweet, sweet Ashliyn. Please, ask away."

  I twisted my fingers together and beat my brain trying to remember everything I had ever heard about vampires.

  "What about garlic and holy water and crucifixes?"

  "All myths. I actually love garlic, and am quite fond of religious artifacts."

  "And...stakes through the heart?” I hated bringing up something like that, but it was something prevalent in myths, and I wanted to be sure I covered everything.

  "It would be quite painful, I'm sure, but no, I wouldn't die from that. Aside from decapitation or stepping into the sun, I'm pretty invincible."

  He winked. I was glad he could joke about something so serious.

  "So, you can't go out in daylight, right?"

  He shook his head, but didn't offer me an explanation.

  "Why?"

  His mouth tightened, and I didn't think he would answer me.

  "It wouldn't be good for me. I don't want to go into detail because what happens when sunlight touches my kind is horrific."

  I thought at first he was kidding with me, but as he stared at me, his face was unyielding. I knew he wouldn't explain further, and I didn't press him.

  "How does someone become a vampire?"

  I remembered his story, but I didn't think I could remember everything he said in detail.

  "There has to be an exchange of blood. I have to drink your blood and vice versa, and it has to be at the same time. I couldn't drink your blood, and then next week have you drink mine. It doesn't work that way."

  "Why?"

  "Because your blood has to be fresh in my system, and mine in yours. It's just the way it works, and before you ask me why, I have no idea."

  "Did the one you knew, the one that was like you, teach you all this?"

  I leant into the table as if he were telling an exceptional story, but I guess he really was. He nodded, looking sad and withdrawn.

  "Jakob, the one like me, took his own life long ago."

  "I'm so sorry, Kerian. Was he the one who killed your family and village?” He shook his head and I reached out and laid my hand on top of his. He fiddled with the linen tablecloth with his free hand. “He was a close friend, wasn't he?"

  "My only friend. I never saw my family again after that fateful night, and didn't trust myself around humans. Over time, I was able to control my hunger, and I learnt I could feed off animals and still live. Animal blood didn't give me the immense strength human blood did, but I could survive on it. Jakob found me like that, drinking from a deer in the forest. It was he who taught me I could control myself. I was still unsure, and wouldn't drink from humans. There were willing donors, of course. Back then, vampires were widely believed in. I'm ashamed to say that Jakob got blood from donors and brought it to me,
as if I were a child."

  He shook his head, embarrassment written across his features.

  "Hey.” I waited until he looked at me again and smiled. “You have nothing to be ashamed of. I find it heroic. You wanted to protect those who were weaker. I get that."

  He smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes. I was shocked and amazed to hear his story, to know he felt such regret for killing that woman. That he never drank from humans again was astounding.

  "I was a coward. I couldn't trust myself with humans, sure I'd end up harming one again."

  "You're not a coward."

  "You're sweet, my love, but alas, I truly was a coward. I left that poor woman on the dirt floor, dead, while I vanished and wept, feeling sorry for myself."

  We sat there for a while in silence, listening to the fire crackle and pop.

  "So, what else would you like to know?"

  Just like that, he had a smile on his face. “Um.” I was surprised he could snap out of whatever dark place he'd just been in, but I wasn't going to question it. Obviously, it was a difficult subject for him to talk about.

  "Is it hard working at the hospital? I mean, with all the blood around you? I assume that's where you got the bags of blood in your freezer."

  "I've lived for hundreds of years, Ashliyn. I have no trouble with blood, and am able to control the bloodlust now."

  I knew he could read my face and had known exactly what I was thinking.

  "I choose my own hours, and before you came along, I worked every night. Now, I can't seem to pry myself away from you. I've saved up a collection of blood over time, in case of emergencies."

  He smiled at me and ran his thumb over my hand. “Can you eat regular food?” I asked. “I mean, I've seen you eat regular food, but I've read in books that vampires can't."

  "I can eat human food, but it has no nutritional value for me. It would be the same as if you drank blood or ate dirt. I do enjoy a nice aged wine or a rare steak at times."

  We laughed. I looked over at the fire and then back at Kerian. “So, you don't feed from humans at all?"

  "I know what you're thinking."

  I didn't pretend I didn't know what he was talking about.

  "I microwave the bagged donations in my freezer. Since I met you , and have the bagged blood, I have no need for anyone else."

  I was surprised at his confession. “You mean you haven't done...what you did to me with other women?” Why I cared about such an act was beyond me. I should be repulsed at the idea of him biting me and drinking my blood, but the idea of Kerian doing that with another woman made me downright jealous. I watched his face get serious and I leant back in my chair. For a moment, I thought I had upset him, but then he got up from his chair and knelt by my side. I stared at him in surprise as he turned my body towards him, grabbed my hands and kissed my palms.

  "You're the only human, the only female—the only being I'll ever want or need. Without you, I am nothing. You are my heart, my soul, my reason for living."

  I had no idea what to say. The things he said were astonishing. No one had ever spoken to me the way he had. I stuttered a few times before I finally started to sob like a baby. His face fell and he took on a look of utter shock.

  "Ashliyn? Have I said something to hurt you?"

  I laughed because even though he was hundreds of years old, a man was still a man. Kerian had no clue what tears of happiness looked like, and that made me cry even harder.

  "I love you, I love you, I love you!” I jumped out of the chair and wrapped my arms around his neck. I kissed him with all the passion I felt—kissed him so he knew how I felt—how strong and intense my feelings were for him. My tears were falling on his face, but I felt a warmth bloom inside me that was beyond happiness—beyond anything I'd ever felt in my life. My momentum from leaping up so fast knocked us backwards and now, I was sprawled on top of him. He didn't seem bothered by our awkward position, though, and when he squeezed me tighter and kissed me back, I knew that I wanted to spend the rest of my life, the rest of eternity with him. I knew if he asked me to be with him forever—if he asked me to become a vampire—I would do it in an instant, because he was my heart, my soul, my destiny.

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  Chapter Twelve

  * * * *

  We moved to the rug in front of the fireplace and curled up together on the plush fabric. We didn't say anything for the longest time, just lay together with our limbs intertwined.

  "So, do you have any super powers?” I said with a lazy drawl, a little sleepy from the long day and the drugging wine. He chuckled and I lifted my head to stare at his profile. The fire cast a soft, warm glow over his face. It reflected in his eyes. I settled back against him to watch the flames again.

  "I don't know if I'd call them super powers. I can do things a human can't, though."

  I was intrigued. I didn't have to probe him for the answers; after a moment, he answered my unspoken questions.

  "I can see and hear better then humans. In the dark, everything is crystal clear to me. I can see a rabbit several miles away with such clarity that I can count each hair on its body. I can hear a child cry in the next town, or smell a fire that has long since burned out. I can run faster, so much faster that it's like I wasn't even there, or climb a twenty-story building in seconds. I'm hundreds of times stronger then humans.” He looked down at me and smiled. “I can crush my enemy's bones as if they were made of paper."

  I didn't know what to say to that, but I had no doubt Kerian could be fierce. While he told me the extraordinary things he could do, he stroked my arm, making my flesh sensitive and tingly. “All of that, huh? Hmm.” My response seemed a little understated for everything he'd told me, but then again, everything he'd told me had the unreal quality of a movie. “Anything else?” He was quiet for so long, I thought maybe he hadn't heard my question. I was about to ask again when he spoke.

  "I can control humans if I feel the need to, and I can heal almost instantly."

  I sat up and stared at him with my mouth open. “Control humans?” He sat up too, avoiding my gaze.

  "I've never controlled you, if that's what you're thinking."

  I hadn't been thinking that, but now that he'd put those thoughts in my head, my curiosity was piqued. “Why?"

  He turned and looked at me with his brows drawn. “What do you mean, why?"

  "I mean, why haven't you controlled me? Made me do your bidding? Made me your sex slave?” I smiled at the last part to make it seem less serious. Kerian didn't seem to think I was the least bit funny, and I felt stupid for even trying to joke about the subject.

  "I wanted you of your own free will. I wanted you to crave me as I crave you. It wouldn't have been real if I'd made you want to be with me."

  He stood and poured us another glass of wine.

  "Besides, I don't feel it's right to control a creature weaker than I am."

  I felt my anger spike at his comment. As if by being a human, I was inferior to his superior self. “What do you mean, a weaker being? You consider humans weaker beings?” He didn't turn around, but I saw his big body stiffen at my belligerent attitude-and it was belligerent. I didn't like the fact that he thought of humans as the weaker species. “You know, Kerian, you were human once.” He turned around and leant against the bar while he sipped on dark red wine.

  "Ashliyn, I haven't been human for over four hundred years. There isn't anymore human left inside of me. I'm an animal—a killer—a vampire. A creature that drinks other species’ blood in order to survive."

  He said it so nonchalantly. I knew my mouth was open, not because he'd said he was no longer human, but because he'd evaded my question. He seemed devoid of emotion. “You didn't answer my question, Kerian."

  "Humans are a weak species. When I was human, I too fell into that category. I call them a weak species because what I can do and what they can do are in completely different spectrums. I could kill a human with one thought. I'm an animal that exists o
n instinct, Ashliyn. Don't make the mistake of thinking I'm still human, or that there's any humanity left inside me."

  "Why are you talking this way? I'm human, Kerian, or have you forgotten that?” I didn't know if this was our first fight, but I knew I didn't like it, and I knew I didn't like Kerian's views on humans—me, in other words.

  "I haven't forgotten."

  I watched as he walked towards me and sat on the floor. He handed me a glass of wine and I downed the whole thing in two drinks. I could see the suggestion of a grin on his face.

  "Even though you're much weaker physically then I am, than even a large human male is, mentally you're my superior. You're cunning and intelligent, witty and bright. You are beautiful and soft, petite and gentle."

  He ran his fingers down my arm and rested them on top of my fingers.

  "Please don't read too much into my words. I meant them exactly as I said them. Humans—aside from you—are weak-minded and easy to control. True, they're physically weaker than a vampire, but the bottom line is, the only reason I'm able to make them do my bidding is because they're weak up here."

  He pointed to his head as he watched me.

  "If you want to know a secret, I've never controlled a human's mind. I've watched Jakob do it, but I guess that's the only part of my humanity I've kept—compassion for others."

  I lay down on the soft rug and went back to watching the fire. I wasn't angry with Kerian, but the fact that he'd said he was superior left me confused, my feelings hurt. But I tried to look at it from his point of view, and could see how I might think the same thing after four hundred years of having powers beyond my comprehension. I pushed my anger away and rolled over to look at him. He was leaning back, braced on one elbow as he drank his wine. I wished at that moment I could read his mind.