Distorted Hope

by Marissa Honeycutt

  “What about these guys?”

  “They don’t like women much. If they choose you, you’ll probably get hurt.”

  “Patrón tells them to not hurt us,” Julia said. “But they don’t always listen.”

  As I put on my costume, I prayed I wouldn’t get chosen. I liked being with Mark, and I didn’t want to get hurt.

  The performance began with a group number. We all danced to an upbeat rhythmic song that got my heart pumping. Then smaller groups of girls danced—some to fast songs, others to slow songs. Only Madison and I had solos. They were both slow and sensuous.

  My stomach churned as I heard the first few beats of my song. I took a deep breath and began dancing, slowly moving my hips and arms to the rhythm. I closed my eyes and lost myself in the music, only opening them when I sat in my final pose: on my knees with my back to the audience, one hand behind me, supporting my upper body as I leaned backward and reached toward one man in the audience. I was supposed to aim for one of the guests, but since I had my eyes closed, I didn’t know I was reaching for Patrón until I opened my eyes.

  Our eyes met and locked for an eternal moment as my chest heaved, trying to catch my breath. My heart began to ache for him again and I closed my eyes and straightened. I stood and curtsied, then took my place at the edge of the stage to watch the other dances.

  We had one last dance together and then the performance was over and my heart pounded as Patrón came to stand in front of us.

  “I hope you enjoyed yourself, gentlemen,” he said with a calculated smile. “Feel free to choose your companion for the week. Of course, you may change them at any time.”

  We stayed still as the men moved. Once the guests had chosen, the other guys could grab one of us or leave. I glanced at Mark and he winked at me before turning back to John, to whom he was talking.

  The older man came to stand in front of me and I gave him a bright smile, hoping I looked like I wanted him, even though I was terrified of being chosen. He trailed his fingers across the tops of my breasts and I inhaled sharply.

  He walked away and I was relieved later when the men had made their choices and I wasn’t one of them. Mark was walking toward me when Patrón stopped him by catching his arm. “You need to choose someone else tonight, Mark.”

  “Why?”

  “Because the other men want a chance with her but won’t step forward because they know you want her. Choose someone else. Quickly.”

  Patrón walked away and Mark gave me an apologetic look before making his way over to Leandra. She looked surprised, but pleased, and gave him a lingering kiss.

  I told myself it didn’t bother me, but it did. I liked Mark. I adamantly denied I loved him as more than a friend. I wouldn’t let myself fall in love again. It hurt too much.

  Toby walked up to me with Ajani, a broad-chested man with dark skin and eyes, and a shaved head. He was a nice guy, if a little rough sometimes. I raised my brows, seeing their playfully wicked smiles. “Hi.”

  Ajani walked behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist, kissing my neck. “Hey, sexy. How would you feel about playing with the two of us tonight?”

  My eyes widened as I looked at Toby. “B-both of you?”

  “You’ve never been shared before?” Toby asked with a grin.

  I rolled my eyes. “C’mon. When would I have been shared?”

  Ajani’s chest rumbled as he chuckled. “Well, then, tonight would be perfect. We loved your dancing and have all sorts of ideas of what to do with you.” He bit my neck and I let out a soft moan.

  I glanced at Toby, certain the apprehension was showing on my face. He laughed and stepped forward. “Kyra, when have I ever disappointed you?”

  My cheeks warmed. Never. Toby was very thorough when he played. Yes, he made me beg and sometimes even cry, but he always made sure it was worth it. Always.

  What would the two of them do? I’d only been with Ajani a few times. He was harder on me than Toby, but never more than I could handle. And he had made it worth it, too.

  “Do you know the amazing orgasm you can have with two men filling your delectable holes at once?” Ajani whispered in my ear and then nibbled on the sensitive lobe.

  “Okay,” I whimpered, scared and aroused at the same time. Ajani was very ‘blessed’ in his nether-regions—as much as Patrón was. I’d heard women talk about how big black men were but had never experienced it until he took me up to his room.

  Toby took my hand and led me out of the hall. I caught Patrón’s eye on the way out. His expression was inscrutable, but I felt his gaze on my back until I was outside.

  I groaned as the morning light streamed into Ajani’s bedroom. My body hurt all over, but I really couldn’t complain. They had pushed my limits last night, especially when they’d worked both of their cocks inside me at the same time. I was thankful Ajani had taken my pussy. I was amazed they’d fit. Barely. But, oh my! Ajani had been right. What an orgasm! I wouldn’t hesitate to be with both of them again.

  The three of us barely fit into Ajani’s bed and I was sandwiched tightly between the two of them. They apparently weren’t shy around each other, either. Not that they’d done anything to one another, but various parts of their bodies got close last night, and I can’t imagine their balls not touching when they fucked me.

  “Sore, baby?” Ajani whispered, rubbing my hip.

  “Mmm hmm,” I mumbled.

  Ajani raised his head and rested it on his balled fist. He trailed his fingers over my breasts. “I think you might have some bruises for a few days. I’d apologize, but I think you enjoyed it as much as we did.”

  I giggled. I had. I hadn’t known there was a level of consciousness beyond the pain when the pain started to feel good. I just floated on a cloud as they used a riding crop and flogger on me. I think I even came when they hit my clit. “I think I did.”

  Ajani kissed me, his thick lips enveloping mine. I ran my hands over his broad shoulders. “We might turn you into a pain slut after all,” he murmured.

  I pulled away, hurt. Although I guess I couldn’t really complain about the use of the word ‘slut’. I was a slave, after all.

  “Sweetie, slut isn’t an insult in this situation,” Toby said in a sleepy voice behind me, kissing the back of my neck and sliding his hand around to cup my tender breast.

  I looked at Ajani and he nodded. “It’s actually a compliment.”

  “Oh.” I didn’t know whether or not to believe him, but he seemed sincere.

  “Wouldn’t you love to take her to a club?” Ajani said with a gleam in his eyes.

  Toby chuckled. “That would be awesome.”

  “Club?” I asked, confused.

  “There are places where you can go and hang with people of similar interests.” Toby said. “You can watch others play or play and let others watch you. They usually have more equipment to play on.”

  I could feel him hardening against my hip and I pressed back against him. He groaned. “Be nice, or I’ll flip you over and fuck you so hard you’ll scream.”

  “I do that anyway,” I said with a giggle.

  The men both chuckled. “Naughty girl,” Ajani said, pulling me to lie on my stomach. “I think she needs a spanking first.”

  When I was walking back to the women’s house later that morning, Patrón passed me in the entryway.

  “Good morning, Patrón,” I said politely, keeping my eyes down.

  He paused and I could feel him looking at me. “Good morning,” he said in a soft voice that pierced my heart. “Are you alright?”

  Why is he asking me that? I looked up at him, my heart moving into my throat as I met his gray eyes. “Yes, Patrón. I’m fine.”

  He stepped toward me and started to reach out to me but lowered his hand before he could. “You have bruises.”

  I looked down and saw the dark marks on my cleavage and arms. “I’m okay,” I said with a shrug. “Ajani and Toby like to play.”

  “Did they hurt you?”


  I was confused at his question and his concern. He surely knew what Toby and Ajani liked. “They…” It was such a relative question. “No more than I could take.” He was probably just making sure his guys were behaving themselves.

  “Kyra,” Patrón began, stepping even closer. “They’re not supposed to play with girls who don’t like to play.”

  I suddenly realized one of the reasons I liked to play was because it helped my heart not hurt so bad. The physical pain outweighed the emotional pain. At least for a little while. “I don’t mind. I like it.”

  For a moment, I saw sadness in his eyes. He stepped closer until he was standing less than a foot from me. I could feel his body heat, and his spicy scent made my heart pound and ache at the same time. I wanted to run away.

  Patrón raised his hand and ran the back of his knuckles down my cheek. Tears sprang to my eyes. He tipped my head backward so I could look up into his eyes. I saw my Nathan in his eyes and my lower lip trembled.

  He cradled my cheek in his large, gentle hand. “Kyra,” he whispered. I closed my eyes as he began to lower his face to mine. I could feel his breath on my face when he stopped. “No,” he said in a strained voice.

  Abruptly, his hand disappeared from my face and his body heat faded, leaving me cold. Opening my eyes, I saw his retreating figure in the courtyard. I stared at him as he strode away for a moment before sprinting back to my room in the women’s house. I fell onto my bed sobbing.

  I didn’t get up until after dinner that evening, when we were required to go to the living room. After I cleaned myself up, I followed the girls to the main house, greeting Patrón politely as I passed by him. “Good evening, Patrón.”

  “Kyra, you need to go back to your room,” he said in a soft but firm voice. “I don’t want you out until your bruises are gone.”

  I looked up at him, confused and hurt. Why did it matter if I had bruises? I’d had them before and it hadn’t bothered him.

  He raised his eyebrows. “Go.”

  “Yes, Patrón,” I whispered, and fled back to the women’s house.

  Pasha was in the living room watching TV. “Kyra, mija. What are you doing here?” She held her hand out and I went to sit by her on the couch.

  “Patrón told me to stay here until my bruises were gone,” I said, trying not to cry.

  Pasha put her arms around me and was quiet for a while. I thought she had forgotten about me. “Kyra, he was protecting you.”

  “Protecting me? From what?”

  “You have some very dark bruises. If the Arabs saw those, they would likely believe you liked things rough and use you tonight.”

  “I thought he wanted me to be used.”

  The older woman hugged me. “They would hurt you. Probably very badly. They wouldn’t care if you were enjoying yourself, like our men do. They would take the bruises as a sign to do whatever they wanted to you. Have you seen Hanne?”

  Hanne had been chosen. I shook my head.

  “She’s not feeling very well. Patrón warned them to back off when he saw her this morning. He was very upset.” She kissed my forehead. “He would never forgive himself if that happened to you.”

  “He doesn’t care for me anymore,” I sniffed.

  “If he didn’t, you would still be in the other room.”

  I didn’t want to dare believe her. I just wanted to be over him—for my heart to heal and be okay with the rest of my life as a sex slave.

  I stayed hidden away in the women’s house until after the Arabs left. I didn’t even dance the last night. Mark came to check on me a few times and told me the same thing Pasha had about Patrón caring about me, but I tried to brush it off. I didn’t want to deal with the hurt again.

  A few days after the Arabs left, Patrón summoned me into his office. I wondered if he’d finally decided to use me. That was the only reason the girls were ever called to his office.

  I knocked on the door and Patrón immediately invited me in. “You wanted to see me, Patrón?” I asked, going to stand by his desk. Mark was sitting across from Patrón. I wasn’t sure if he looked happy or not—it was kind of a mixed expression.

  “Have you ever traveled, Kyra?” Patrón asked.

  I looked at him, confused. “A little. My grandparents took me to San Diego one summer.”

  He nodded and glanced at Mark. “How would you like to go to Europe?”

  I stared at him in shock. “What?” He frowned. He hated when I did that, but I didn’t know what else to say. “I’m sorry, Patrón.”

  He sighed. “Mark has some business to take care of in Europe and I thought you might like to go along.”

  “Is he finding another engineer?” I really didn’t want to see him kidnap anyone.

  “No, he’s meeting some potential new clients.”

  “Oh.” Why would he want me to go along with Mark? I didn’t know anything about weapons.

  “When Mark and the others go on business trips, I prefer them to not get entangled with women. It can make things messy and put our whole operation at risk. They can be gone for long periods of time and to go without sex for that amount of time is… asking a bit much, I think.”

  He wanted me to go along so I could have sex with the men. I supposed there were worse reasons to travel.

  “Also, a couple is less noticeable than a bunch of single men, and with security getting tighter and tighter these days, it gets more difficult to get in and out of places unnoticed.” Patrón shrugged. “A wealthy couple with bodyguards is not unusual in Europe.”

  “I will do as you ask, Patrón,” I said in a soft voice. Maybe it would be good to get away from him for a while—maybe it would help heal my heart—and traveling around Europe sounded wonderful.

  “Good.” Patrón sounded pleased. “You will leave at the end of the week. Tomorrow, Mark will take you into Panama City to buy you some clothes. You can buy the rest when you get to Paris.”

  A week later, I was on the jet with Mark, John, Bryce and Carlos, heading to Paris. I wore a thick gold bracelet which looked very pretty but held a GPS tracker and was locked so I couldn’t take it off. So I couldn’t run away. It hadn’t been tempted to run away before, but I couldn’t deny there was a little part of me that wanted to. The thought of being my own person again was alluring. I guess that’s why I had the bracelet.

  I was traveling as Mark’s wife but was expected to take care of all four men when we were in the privacy of our hotel room. Patrón made sure I understood that before I left. He made sure Mark understood that, as well.

  I stared out at the blue expanse of ocean below the jet. It was an eleven-hour flight and we’d been in the air for about an hour. Mark was on the computer, checking messages and our itinerary.

  “Kyra, how would you like to go to the ballet while we’re in Paris?” Mark asked from the front of the jet. I was stretched out in the bedroom in the back; it was quieter there. And though there was a TV, my Kindle was in my lap.

  I stood and walked to the where Mark was sitting. “The ballet?”

  He nodded. “It’s one of the places a client said would be a good place to meet. I know you like ballet…” He shrugged. “Two birds with one stone.”

  The idea of watching the Paris Ballet dance was heavenly. I know Mark was trying to make the trip as enjoyable as possible for me. Who knew if I’d ever get to go anywhere again? I nodded eagerly. “I would love to.”

  “The first thing we need to do when we get there is get you some formal dresses,” he said with a shake of his head. “It’s amazing how much business you can get done in formal situations.”

  I sat down in the chair across from him. “Is Patrón trying to get rid of me without getting rid of me? Does my presence bother him that much?”

  Mark looked at me over the laptop sitting on the table in front of him and then leaned back in his chair. “I think that’s part of it. As much as he tries to deny it, he’s still in love with you. He thinks if you’re gone for a while, when we return, he�
�ll be over you.” He paused and looked out the window. “Yuri contacted us when the Arabs were there.” He looked back at me. “They’re visiting the hacienda next week.”

  I sucked in a breath and was suddenly very glad I was on the jet and not back at the hacienda.

  “Nathan didn’t want you at the house when they were there. Honestly, I think that was his primary reason for sending you with me.”

  “Why?”

  “Because they know you two aren’t together anymore, and Yuri made some comments about you that were rather disturbing.”

  “Like what?”

  “Let’s just say you would be lucky to be walking when they left. What Pavel did to you cost them a lot of money. Nathan tacked on a surcharge for hurting you. I think they want their money’s worth.”

  I swallowed and looked out the window. “He’s protecting me?”

  “He won’t admit it, but yes, he is.”

  “Why doesn’t he just send me home?” I whispered. “You know I wouldn’t tell anyone about him.”

  Mark shrugged. “I don’t know. I offered to take you home, but he said no.”

  I leaned my head on the headrest behind me and looked out the window. I wish Nathan would allow himself to go back to how he was. Then we could be happy together again.

  Paris was in full bloom when we arrived. Flowers were everywhere. As were people. I’d been at the hacienda for over a year now and was not used to crowds anymore. Going into Panama City was stressful enough a few days ago. The capital was even more crowded.

  The five of us were driven through the old city to a hotel just a few blocks from the Champs-Élysées. We had a suite on the top floor and each of the guys had their own room. I put my things in Mark’s room since I was supposed to be his wife. I could stay in any of the guys’ rooms with them, but my main room was with Mark.

  We had a couple of days before our first meeting, so we were able to do some sightseeing. We saw the Eiffel Tower, the Arc de Triomphe, and the Louvre. We shopped and picked out several formal dresses for me, as well as a whole host of other really nice clothing.