Valor's Calling

by Kal Spriggs

  “I was dragged away,” I thought back. I couldn't help a flashback to the spinning sky and ground and the jarring, tearing impact. I shivered. “But yeah, I'm walking now.” My body had really begun to ache, though. I had the feeling that come tomorrow I'd be using the painkillers that the doctor had shoved in my hand as I left the Academy hospital.

  “Still,” Ashiri shook her head, “you're really lucky.”

  Lucky, I thought to myself, that's hardly what I consider myself. If I were really lucky, then I wouldn't have stumbled into this situation. If I were really lucky, I could have lived a normal life.

  “Let's see how tomorrow looks,” Ashiri said.

  “Yeah, tomorrow,” I didn't want to sleep, didn't want to close my eyes, but after talking with Ashiri, it seemed like it was all I could do to stay awake. Biology, Doctor Aisling talked about it, I've come down off the adrenaline rush, I've gone through the other coping mechanisms, and now I'm crashing. It was a distant part of my mind thinking that, observing it all. The rest of me was simply exhausted.

  I lay back in bed and the last thing I remembered was Ashiri turning out the lights.

  ***

  At Sunday morning formation, Cadet Lieutenant Webster officially broke the news to us. “As some of you have no doubt already heard, it seems that there was some kind of accident at the grav-shell race that several of our cadets and plebes competed in yesterday. Two of our plebes as well as Plebe Rufus were involved. While Armstrong walked away with no more than bruises and scrapes,” he shot me a hard look, almost as if he blamed me for that, “Plebe Dawson will spend the rest of the weekend in the Academy hospital for observation, and Plebe Rufus was seriously injured.”

  He waited and let us take that in. I was glad to hear that Dawson would be out, hopefully by Monday. I was also glad that Rufus was still alive, I'd secretly worried that he had died and no one dared to tell me.

  “While it looks to be purely an accident,” he went on, “as I understand it, the race investigation is still incomplete and the Enforcers have been called in.” I didn't miss how he put extra emphasis on that. Then, to my surprise, Cadet Lieutenant Webster stopped in front of me and looked straight at me as he continued, “If anyone knows what might have caused this accident, either negligence, incompetence, or something of the sort, I suggest they come forward.”

  I just stared right back at him, not really understanding what he meant for a moment. Then, as I realized his intent, I felt first shock and then rage. How dare he... it was all I could do not to shout at him that it wasn't my fault, that it was sabotage. Instead I clenched my jaw and stared straight ahead.

  “Well,” he said after no one spoke up, “I'm sure they'll get to the bottom of things on their own.” He walked back down to the end of the corridor. “Now, normally I would hold inspections this morning, but the Superintendent has instructed that all cadets be allowed the morning to take a mental health break. So all of you are free to take the time to do what you need to do. I understand that Plebe Dawson is allowed visitors this morning. I suggest that some of you see him.” The emphasis he put on that made me clench my jaw again.

  “Plebes, you are dismissed.”

  As we fell out of formation, I nodded at Ashiri and then in the direction of the Academy hospital. She nodded in reply and we jogged off in that direction.

  The hospital section was mostly empty. A couple of plebes and a female cadet were on duty. I hadn't realized that the Academy made so much use of us, but I saw their company patches and realized that they were Ivy, the medical company. After a moment, I recognized Cadet Third Class Elliot from my first drill. I wasn't sure how they saw enough real trauma to get certified as doctors here at the Academy. Then again, I'd been here twice now, so maybe I was wrong.

  They let Ashiri and I back to see Dawson. The broad shouldered young man was seated upright in bed, wearing one of those hospital gowns that makes everyone look absurd. “Jiden!” He perked up when he saw me, “I heard they let you out, I hope you're not here because you're actually hurt!”

  “Me?” I waved at that, “No, just some scrapes and bruises.” I felt self-conscious, seeing him in bed here at the hospital when I'd made it out without any real injuries.

  “Thank God,” he shook his head, “that was a bad one.”

  “Yeah,” I nodded in agreement. “Look, Dawson, I wanted to apologize...”

  “Apologize?” He shook his head, “Are you kidding? I saw Rufus's strut separate, I was looking right at him when it happened.” Dawson looked down at his hands, “It was all I could do to remember my training and unstrap. I looked down to give you warning and you'd already done the emergency fail safe, more than that, you steered us off to the side, out of the way of the other racers, otherwise we'd have been run over, that's when you finally lost it and we flipped.”

  “Wait, what?” I asked. I didn't remember any of that.

  “Yeah, you were mashing on the emergency fail safe and steering us for the side at the same time,” Dawson nodded. “If you hadn't done that, things would have been way more serious.” He cocked his head, “Hey, have you even seen the video?”

  “No... no I hadn't,” I replied.

  “Cadet Commander Mackenzie sent it to me earlier, told me that I was lucky I had a coxswain with a cool head...” he brought up his datapad and I recognized the Arrow. It was weird to watch myself on video, I didn't look the way I thought I would. We were at least ten meters ahead of the next grav-shell, we must have really been booking it. The footage was shaky, like what someone would get on their personal datapad, not a professional camera. It was good enough, though, that I could pick out right when the strut let go. The starboard outrigger separated almost instantly. Then, to my shock, I watched as I steered hard over, getting out of the main track even as the entire craft dropped, starting to roll. I'd turned hard to starboard, which had provided a momentary stability, just enough for the Arrow to get clear of the next craft behind before we smashed into the ground and started rolling. It was a small thing, but I felt relief that I'd managed even that much. Dawson was right. If I hadn't done that, consciously or not, the next grav-shell would have smashed right into our wreckage, probably killing all of us.

  As the Arrow hit and rolled, though, my stomach dropped. I winced as I saw Dawson flung free... but what left me feeling nauseous was when Rufus disappeared under the rolling grav-shell. It wasn't particularly heavy, but we hit at high speed and the strut he was on crumpled like tissue under the impact.

  “Any word on Rufus?” I asked, passing the datapad back.

  “Not yet,” Dawson shook his head. “They didn't even want to tell me that you were okay. I think everyone's tight lipped about this because they still don't know the cause. I saw you press the emergency fail safe. That strut came off without warning... I'm still trying to make sense of it myself, you know?”

  “Yeah,” I answered. I couldn't meet his eyes, “I really hope they find out what really happened.” I didn't know how he'd feel about my steering when it was me that had been the target of the sabotage. I didn't know how much of the investigation would be public or what they'd want me to keep secret, so I didn't want to say anything about it at all.

  “Well, I'll just be glad to get out of here,” Dawson shook his head, “should be tomorrow.”

  “You need anything?” Ashiri asked.

  “Nah, I've got my classwork and stuff,” Dawson said. “And the food's pretty good. As long as I can get back to the company tomorrow, I'll be fine.” He met my gaze, “And thanks, again, Jiden. You really saved our backsides with that steering.”

  I flushed. I didn't feel worthy of praise. It was my fault that someone had tried to kill all three of us. But I didn't say that. Instead I mumbled something about hoping he felt better and I left. Outside, Ashiri said she was going to head back to the barracks. I looked at the time and decided to head down to the chapel.

  I arrived well before the scheduled services and I just sort of wondered inside. Withou
t thinking about it I found myself sitting in my usual spot. I sat there, just enjoying the quiet and peace. I didn't even notice the chaplain sit down next to me. “Had a rough spot, eh, Jiden?”

  It seemed that everyone knew my first name today. “Yes, sir,” I replied.

  “It's funny,” he said, staring forward at the altar. “In the military, we do things that are hard and dangerous. In battle, it seems like we handle injuries and deaths a bit better. These things are terrible, but expected. It's incidents like this that can catch us off-guard.”

  I didn't know about that. Loss was something I hated. I hadn't been close to Ted Meeks but I'd been responsible for his death. I hadn't been close to Rufus, either, but it was my fault that he was in the hospital. “It's my fault.”

  “Bull,” the chaplain snorted. “I'd be willing to believe a lot, Jiden, but not that.”

  I should have kept my mouth shut, but I spoke anyway. Maybe I was just tired of people telling me it wasn't my fault. “It was sabotage. The person who did it was trying to get me.”

  “Sounds like it's that person's fault,” the chaplain replied after a moment. He didn't seem surprised by the revelation. I wondered if he'd already known or suspected... or if he was simply that even-keeled.

  “I knew someone was trying to hurt me,” I said. “I made Rufus a target when I decided to join the grav-shell team.” I couldn't help it, tears welled up. “Just like I made Ted Meeks a target when I asked him to look into the crooked accounting at Champion Enterprises. He's dead. They never even found his body, his parents had to have a funeral without a body... and it's my fault too.”

  “Sounds like you're taking on a lot of responsibility,” he said after a moment. “I never met this Ted, but it seems to me that he made a decision, too, didn't he? Clearly he thought it was important to look into things or he wouldn't have done it, no matter what you said. And as for the people who killed him... well, I think we can both see that they would be the ones who made that decision. Not you.”

  I closed my eyes. As much as I wanted to believe that, I found it hard.

  “Well,” he said, “if my words don't help, just think about this: here at the Academy we teach our students to take a great deal upon themselves. At the same time, we have to strike a balance. We can take ownership of the things we can control. Jiden, none of us can control everything. Some things are in God's hands.”

  I closed my eyes. For a moment I saw spinning earth and sky. I didn't know how I had managed to steer the Arrow out of the way of the race. Maybe the chaplain was right in that at least. Maybe some things were in God's hands.

  “Thanks, sir,” I said.

  “It's what I'm here for, Jiden,” he said gently. He patted my hands and stood. “I'll just be down by my office if you want to talk some more.”

  I closed my eyes as he walked away. This time, though, I didn't see spinning earth and sky, I saw the Arrow swerving out of the way of the following grav-shells. Maybe I should focus on the things that I could control.

  ***

  Chapter Thirteen: One Day At A Time

  “Ladies and gentlemen,” Cadet Commander Mackenzie stood in the doorway of the grav-shell shed, “Plebe Rufus.”

  He gave a wave to the doorway as Rufus hobbled in, on crutches. He gave everyone a sheepish wave and everyone rose to their feet clapping, me included. It was such a relief to see him that I felt tears welling up in my eyes.

  “Hey, everyone,” Rufus said. “Thanks for the warm welcome.”

  “When did you get back?” Salter asked in surprise.

  “I got released last night,” he cleared his throat, “I've already missed three weeks of class and I'll have five months or so of physical therapy. With all the classes I've missed, I've already started the paperwork for being setback a year.”

  “Oh, no,” I said. I wasn't the only one, either.

  “It's fine,” Rufus waved one hand. “I'm just happy that I'll be able to come back. It was...” his gaze went distant, “well, let's just say it wasn't looking good, there at first. But I'm coming back. They're assigning me to a different company, Dust, so I won't have to be behind my former section mates. It's good. I'll have a head-start when I come back, now that I know what to expect.”

  He was so positive, so upbeat about it that I couldn't help it. I walked over and gave him a hug. He patted me awkwardly and I stepped back, feeling suddenly self-conscious. “Sorry,” I said. “I'm sorry that--”

  “Not your fault, Biohazard,” Rufus gave me a nod. “And trust me, when I get back, I'll want you as my coxswain. I saw the videos of the crash, if you hadn't steered us clear, I'd be nothing more than a red smear.”

  I didn't respond.

  “Anyway,” Rufus said, looking around at everyone, “I just wanted to drop by and say hello. I'm headed back home today, but I'll be back.”

  We all clapped for him as he went out, but I felt sad as he left.

  “Alright, guys,” Mackenzie stepped forward. “Now, I know everyone's been hang-dog over all this. The best way to tackle an event like this is to take it head on, learn from it, and grow. Rufus has the right spirit about it. Now, we have our next race in a week. Dawson's back into it and our newbie, Karmazin, is fitting in well. We're hosting the next race.”

  I'd talked to Mackenzie and he'd brought Alexander onto the team as a replacement for Rufus. He hadn't seemed all that eager to let him in, but I'd convinced him that having someone that Dawson knew would work towards getting a new partner integrated. And Alexander had caught up quickly. We still had some issues with him not knowing the commands and getting out of synch, but he'd picked everything up pretty quickly.

  In the meantime, I'd also obtained permission to take nights to do a self-defense class with Commander Pannja.

  Mackenzie looked around at all of us, “That race we host is also parents' day weekend. So not only do we host it, but we're going to have families all over this place. You all know what that means.”

  “Other cadet's cute sisters!” Someone in the back of the room shouted.

  “Cute brothers,” Salter grinned. I flushed at that. I really didn't want to think about her dating my little brother. Thankfully, he's a little young for that.

  “Well, that too,” Mackenzie smirked. “But it mostly means being on your best behavior and making us all look good. Because parents like to see sports and if they like to see sports, they'll try to get us more funding, and we're down a grav-shell in case no one else noticed.”

  I winced at that, but no one shot me any glares. I'd had no idea how expensive a grav-shell was, not until I'd taken a look at the paperwork that Mackenzie had put together to request donations for a new one.

  “Now, then,” Mackenzie said, “there are a few more admin details related to parent's day. But we can handle that at the First Class level.”

  I perked up at that. There'd been rumors that our plebe class might get accepted before Parent's Day. That would mean we'd have a few more liberties and I knew I'd certainly be happier talking about the place to my parents and little brother if I was no longer a Plebe. I’d have far more freedom to walk around, I wouldn’t have to snap to attention every time a cadet officer walked past… I’d almost be able to act like a normal human again.

  Mackenzie didn't drop any more hints though. “We'll need to set up a demonstration for families at the track. Salter, I want you to run that, you're pretty good at handling people. Gallagher, you and Tyson get rowing duty for that, since you're down a coxswain.” I saw both of them nod. Their coxswain, a cadet third class, had just failed a series of projects. From what I understood, he'd been told to drop all extracurricular activities until he brought his grades back up.

  “Everyone else, plan on doing ferry duties and helping out in general. We'll all be pretty busy with a parade and formation. You know, standard dog and pony show. Remember to smile a lot and all that, right?” We all chuckled at that. One thing that being on this team had taught me was that the upperclassmen were under
just as many pressures as us plebes.

  Of course, they don't have someone actively trying to kill them...

  I had been careful to keep an eye out for Commander Bonnadonna, but I'd only ever seen him in class. Other than some awkward encounters with the overly chatty Commander Scarpitti, I'd not spoken or dealt much with any of my instructors. Even in class, most of them seemed distant and unwilling to discuss anything outside of class.

  I wasn't sure what to make of that. I wondered at what kind of discussions happened at their level, at what they saw that we didn't.

  Commander Bonnadonna's classes hadn't changed, that I could tell. He still engaged us with discussions that seemed aimed at making us examine our own conclusions. Half the time I came away from class frustrated and annoyed, half the time I came away reconsidering some of my assumptions. It was all the more frustrating for the fact that he seemed to be the only suspect I had as far as who might be after me. Yet he'd not given any indication that he wished me harm, I just found myself uneasy around him.

  As we got ready for practice, I just hoped things stayed that way.

  ***

  “Strike hard,” Commander “Panda” Pannja snapped at me. The normally easy-going piloting instructor turned over a new leaf during his self-defense classes.

  I stepped forward and attacked my practice partner with as hard a punch as I could muster. Hargrave reacted with the drill we were supposed to be learning and I found myself tasting the practice mat.

  “Technique and speed are essential,” Pannja said as Hargrave helped me to my feet. “But delivering blows with real force is just as essential. Do not forget, we are here to learn to defend ourselves and to hurt those who would hurt us.”