Doctors at Risk

by Alison Roberts

  Ross was unconvinced. ‘Kelly seemed to think it had been a fairly scary incident. You should have called me.’

  ‘Like you did when you had the pulmonary embolus?’

  Ross’s expression suggested that the comparison was justified but his frown returned swiftly. ‘You should think about getting a flatmate.’

  ‘I’ve only got one bedroom.’

  ‘Then maybe you should shift.’

  ‘I was planning to shift, remember?’ Wendy couldn’t help the echo of bitterness in her tone. ‘I’d even written out the notice for my landlord. I’d written my letter of resignation for this job as well. Just as well I didn’t post them, isn’t it?’

  The silence was heavy. Ross shifted his position on the bed and his expression finally softened.

  ‘I’m sorry, Wendy. Guess I stuffed up quite a few plans for you, didn’t I?’

  ‘They weren’t just mine,’ Wendy said tonelessly. ‘We made those plans together, Ross.’

  Ross made a sound of wry amusement. ‘We had it all sorted, didn’t we? We were going to live in my house in the bush. We were going to win the Coast to Coast race together. You were going to get a job at the Coast hospital.’

  ‘Until we started a family.’ Wendy’s words were no more than a whisper. She wasn’t sure Ross heard them. How had her visit descended so swiftly into this emotional quagmire? She had been so careful to avoid it recently. So careful to try and let Ross believe that she would support him, as a friend, until he got through this period of uncertainty. Maybe she had failed. Or did Ross feel the need to bring it out piece by piece to ensure that any ghosts were properly laid? Wendy wished she wasn’t feeling so weary. Tears were threatening and showing Ross how deeply this still affected her wasn’t going to help. She swallowed hard and blinked the prickle away from the backs of her eyes.

  ‘You even picked out the limestone cave as the place you wanted to get married in.’

  That hurt. The reminder of the beauty of that small, natural cavern and the pure magic of the mutual declaration of love was too much for Wendy. ‘It’s only you that thinks it’s not still possible.’

  ‘Oh, come on, Wendy! You wouldn’t even be able to push the wheelchair up that path.’

  ‘The cave was just an idea, Ross.’

  ‘No—it was a lot more than that. It was a symbol, wasn’t it? It was outside. A bit wild and free. Like the kind of life we planned to share. The kind of life you can still have. It’s over, Wendy. You have to accept that. There’s no future for us.’ His voice cracked harshly. ‘There’s no chance I’m going to marry anyone the way I am, even if it wasn’t going to be in some stupidly inaccessible cave. There’s no way I’m ever going to roll down any aisle in a bloody wheelchair.’

  Another silence fell and Wendy saw Sam push himself back into the room and position his chair for a transfer onto his bed. The other occupants of Room 2 would be returning shortly as the ward settled for the night. Her private time with Ross was over.

  Maybe it was time to accept that everything with Ross was over.

  CHAPTER SIX

  FRIENDSHIP was a consolation prize.

  It meant that Wendy hadn’t got what she’d wanted but she wasn’t walking away totally empty-handed. It hadn’t seemed like that initially. Accepting the downgrading of her relationship with Ross had been a temporary measure as far as Wendy was concerned. A means of still providing loving support and being available to catch any opportunity to reinstate what they’d had. After that heartbreaking declaration from Ross that he would never consider marriage to anyone the way he was, Wendy had to admit that keeping a friendship intact was more like a means of providing false hope and a ticket to wasting her life. It was never going to be good enough and it was all that was on offer.

  Wendy drove down another line of cars in the parking area outside the popular vineyard close to the city. It was a lovely spring evening and it appeared that many more people than her USAR training class colleagues had decided to enjoy the venue. Moving into the first of several clear slots at the end of the row, Wendy pulled on her handbrake and sat for a moment. She really needed to collect and then file her personal thoughts before she could summon anything like enthusiasm for a social gathering.

  Even that safety net of friendship had changed now. For the worse. Ross had flung himself into an intensive rehabilitation programme that astounded his various therapists. He was focussed on his recovery as though nothing else mattered. Including Wendy. She would have expected that the steady rate of his progress would have given him a new perspective on his future—a reason to hope that, given time, his recovery would be enough to make a future with her possible. But, if anything, it seemed to have given Ross a reason to be more introspective. To withdraw further and further until Wendy felt more like an acquaintance than a friend.

  Dropping her car keys into her shoulder-bag, Wendy started the long walk to the vineyard’s reception area. A beautiful old stone house had been converted into a bar and restaurant and its gardens contained pockets furnished with rustic tables and long benches before it blended seamlessly into the ordered rows of grapevines. All perfectly wheelchair-friendly. Ross could easily have attended and would have been made very welcome by his ex-classmates.

  Admittedly, Wendy’s attempt last night to get Ross to change his mind about attending had been half-hearted. More of a gesture than anything else. She hadn’t expected him to want to discuss it again and it had almost been a relief to give up the effort and move on. It really was time to accept what she couldn’t change, and try and move on herself in a more decisive manner.

  She had made a start already. Requesting a transfer back to ICU, instead of working in the wards, had given her a natural distance from Ross. For more than a week now, any contact had simply been in passing. Had Ross even noticed that the sharing of news had been one-sided? Every new marker on his road to recovery was noted, like his ability to use the bathroom unaided, being able to negotiate kerbs in his wheelchair…his first driving lesson. Ross hadn’t even asked her how her life was going.

  Wendy would have been happy to give him progress reports. She could have told him about the lunch she’d had with Kelly and Jessica and how Jess had summoned the courage to propose to Joe. And how it had backfired and now Jessica had taken Ricky home to Silverstream, determined to pick up the threads of her old life. She could have said that she’d taken on board his concern about her safety and had had new window locks and an alarm system installed in her townhouse. She also had caller ID monitoring her phone system in case those silent phone calls did have any sinister undertones. She would have liked reassurance that the incidents had simply been coincidental and that the faint echo of paranoia was something she was right in dismissing. That odd, unsettling feeling she had sometimes that she was being watched. Or followed, even. Like the evening run earlier this week with the jogger who had kept to the same route she had, just far enough behind to be unrecognisable.

  Wendy shook off her negative mind-set the moment she stepped through the arched entranceway of the reception area. She squared her shoulders, glancing down and adjusting the fit of her clothing with a casual tug. She hadn’t been enthusiastic enough about getting ready to take the time to find the low-cut black lingerie set she had bought to go with the elegant cross-over top she was wearing. The peep of white lace was irritating but hardly a major problem and Wendy forgot about it the instant she spotted the group of familiar faces.

  They stood in one of the garden rooms with glasses in their hands. She could even hear the laughter punctuating their conversations. Joe was there. And Fletch. And Kelly. Wendy’s smile was quite genuine as she moved towards her friends. If Ross could cope on his own, so could she. She was going to forget her own problems for a while and enjoy herself. This was exactly what she needed and she was glad she hadn’t let Ross’s attitude persuade her that she didn’t want to come out tonight. This was going to be fun, dammit!

  Joe Barrington seemed to be tackling the
evening with a similar agenda. ‘Hey, Wendy! Isn’t this fun?’

  ‘It is.’ The first glass of wine was helping considerably and Wendy nodded to confirm how much she was enjoying herself. ‘I’d forgotten what a nice bunch of people we had in our class.’

  ‘With one possible exception.’ Joe’s wry smile was enough to prompt Wendy to look over her shoulder. Kyle Dickson was the last to arrive and was almost scurrying through the reception area in an effort to make up for lost time. Joe chuckled. ‘He always was a little on the hyped-up side, wasn’t he?’

  ‘Mmm.’ Wendy’s determination to use the evening to lift her spirits had just taken a solid dent. ‘I have to confess I wasn’t disappointed not to see him here when I arrived.’

  ‘I wonder why.’ Joe’s smile broadened into a grin. ‘Do you remember that session when you had to be a patient with a crush injury?’

  ‘How could I forget?’ Wendy groaned. The memory of how eager Kyle had been to grab her wrist to check for a pulse was enough to cause a momentary shudder. Thank goodness Kelly had been swift enough to intervene before Kyle had managed to do a body sweep for evidence of major haemorrhage.

  ‘And Kyle thought he’d save you by heaving the slab of “concrete” off your leg.’

  They both laughed at the memory of Kyle’s exaggerated pretence that the polystyrene block had taken real effort to shift.

  ‘And Fletch told him that he’d probably just killed me.’

  ‘He didn’t like that, did he?’

  ‘It was a bit unfair,’ Wendy admitted with no remorse. ‘He wasn’t to know about the toxins that crushed tissue exudes and the cardiac arrhythmias they can produce.’

  ‘It’s a shame it didn’t teach him something about being so over-confident,’ Joe said seriously. ‘If it had, Ross wouldn’t be where he is right now.’

  ‘No.’ To her dismay, Wendy’s spirits dropped another notch. She made an effort to regroup. ‘Roger and Owen are still getting mileage out of that day we had at the rubbish tip. I think the story of that tape recording is getting more lurid every time it’s told. It’s positively hilarious now.’

  ‘It was pretty funny then.’ Joe grinned. ‘Those groans could certainly have passed for something a lot more exciting than being buried under a collapsed building.’

  ‘I wonder who they got to do it?’ Wendy returned the grin. ‘Do you remember how embarrassed Kelly was when you suggested she’d carried a tape recorder on her last date?’

  ‘And you asked for his phone number,’ Joe reminded her. He raised an eyebrow. ‘I wonder what Ross thought about that?’

  ‘Ross has a good sense of humour,’ Wendy said lightly. ‘At least, he did have. I can’t say I’ve seen much evidence of it lately.’

  ‘I was hoping he’d come tonight. I offered to provide transport but he reckoned he wasn’t allowed parole yet ’cause he hadn’t behaved himself well enough.’

  ‘He could have come,’ Wendy said quietly. ‘He just didn’t want to.’

  ‘That’s a shame.’

  ‘Yes.’ Wendy let her gaze wander. ‘But he’s not the only face we’re missing.’

  Joe looked uncomfortable at the acknowledgement of Jessica’s absence. ‘Time I found another beer,’ he announced. ‘Oh…there’s Fletch. I haven’t caught up with him yet.’

  Wendy watched Joe stride off to intercept his mate on his way to the bar. He was clearly not willing to discuss his relationship woes, which was probably just as well. Wendy had no intention of being enticed into discussing her own problems. Or even thinking about them in any depth. She had even less intention of allowing Kyle to catch her without a companion. Her smile at Kelly was an invitation to join her.

  ‘I’m sorry I haven’t been out to visit Ross for a while.’

  ‘That’s OK. He knows how busy you are.’

  ‘It’s the height of the season for the daffodils,’ Kelly said apologetically. ‘When I’m not at work I’m helping my mother get the blooms picked and packed for the market. She can’t afford to hire extra help at the moment.’ She raised her eyebrows. ‘How are things going at the moment?’

  ‘Not great.’ Wendy had to smile inwardly at the understatement but this was no place to fall apart and cry on a friend’s shoulder. ‘I wanted Ross to come tonight. He’s quite independent in his wheelchair now, and getting out for the first time would have been a major hurdle to get through, but he refused to even discuss it.’

  Kelly’s gaze shifted to take in the group of USAR personnel surrounding them. ‘I guess being out with us might have been too much of a reminder of the accident and everything he’s lost.’ Her glance rested on Wendy again and she could see a more personal concern there. Kelly knew better than anyone else here just how far her relationship with Ross had deteriorated.

  ‘It’s been nearly two months. He’s got to face up to it some time.’ With a wash of sadness Wendy realised that her words were really intended for herself. ‘We all have to accept things that can’t be changed and move on.’

  Kelly’s nod was sympathetic. ‘How’s Jessica, do you know? She still sounded pretty upset when I spoke to her last week.’ Her gaze was wandering again. ‘Joe hasn’t said anything about the break-up. In fact, I hardly seem to see him around headquarters these days.’

  ‘She’s gone back to her old job. She told me she’s determined to pick up the pieces and get on with her life.’ Just as she herself ought to be doing, Wendy added silently. As she was going to do from this moment on.

  ‘Good for her.’ Kelly was staring at Joe and Fletch now, looking as though her thoughts were also turning inwards. ‘Such a shame, though,’ she added softly. ‘I thought those two were meant for each other.’

  Wendy was struggling not to cry. ‘Like me and Ross?’

  ‘You and Ross are going to be fine. You’ll get through this.’ She paused. ‘I think I’d like a glass of wine.’

  No. Now was definitely not the time to tell Kelly the way things really were. Wendy emptied her glass. ‘You’re right, Kelly,’ she said brightly. ‘I’m not about to give up on Ross.’ It was true. She had every confidence that Ross was going to be fine. It was simply their relationship that was the real casualty, and she wasn’t going to let that ruin her life. She had managed well enough before she’d met him. She would survive without him. ‘Let’s both find a glass of wine and drink to the future. Preferably on the other side of this vineyard.’ Wendy started moving purposefully. ‘I’m getting really fed up with the way Kyle keeps staring at me.’

  Dave Stewart intercepted her escape route just as she and Kelly had exchanged their empty glasses for full ones. ‘How’s Ross doing? What a shame he didn’t feel up to joining us tonight.’

  Owen and Roger made noises of agreement as they arrived beside Wendy and suddenly she was trapped in a knot of people that unfortunately expanded to include Kyle. Wendy tried to join in the general chat as news was exchanged. Then reminiscences of their time together on the USAR training course took over the conversation.

  ‘You guys are the best-trained team we’ve got now.’ Dave held up his glass in a salute.

  Wendy exchanged a smile with Joe and then Kelly. She wasn’t the only person hoping that any future class wouldn’t have the opportunity they’d had to put their new skills into practice.

  ‘I keep my kit packed,’ Kyle announced. ‘It sits right beside my bedroom door.’ He sidled a little closer to Wendy, which made Kelly’s lips twitch with suppressed mirth. ‘I’m ready for the next callout. How ’bout you, Wendy?’

  ‘I can’t say I’ve thought about it.’ Wendy took a deliberate step sideways to increase the distance between herself and Kyle. ‘It’s not something that’s very likely to happen, is it?’

  ‘You never know.’ Joe’s tone was almost a warning. ‘We thought that before the last callout, I seem to remember.’

  ‘Have they got any closer to finding out who planted that bomb?’

  ‘They’re not likely to, in my opinion.’

 
Kyle’s tone of being privy to expert knowledge made Wendy’s skin crawl. She couldn’t stand being this close to him a second longer. The direction of his gaze prompted another tug to hide any white lace that might be issuing an inadvertent invitation. Her silent visual communication with Kelly was effective enough to allow the two women to slip away from the group but she could still hear Kyle’s voice as it rose in volume and self-importance.

  ‘I heard that the video surveillance tapes were destroyed and, anyway, how could they trace someone that could have left a bomb programmed to go off days later?’

  ‘This wine is nice,’ Kelly said appreciatively.

  ‘I’ll have one more,’ Wendy decided aloud. ‘And then I’m going home. I don’t really feel like being sociable.’ It hadn’t achieved its purpose at all and Wendy was wishing she hadn’t come. None of her close friends were looking much happier than she was, which didn’t help. Joe had every reason to seem subdued but Kelly didn’t look like she was particularly enjoying herself either.

  The decision the group made to move on to a nightclub was a good excuse to leave and Wendy wasted no time. She left her half-full wineglass on the bar and headed for the car park. Fishing for her keys, Wendy was annoyed to see how close the car on the other side had parked. She walked around the back of her own car. The white marker line on the asphalt had been crossed by a full tyre’s width and she was going to have to back out of the slot with extreme care to avoid contact. Then her eyes widened and Wendy felt a now familiar chill caress her spine.