Diners, Drive-Ins, and Death: A Comfort Food Mystery

by Christine Wenger

  “And then what?” I prompted, pouring another hit of champagne into his empty flute and mine.

  “And the restaurant was doing great. There was a line out the door every night. We had the classiest people clamoring for reservations. The place was a hit, and we were swimming in money. Then he wanted to close the place for three days to feed those people.” He swept his palm in the direction of Tent Town and the blue-plastic lineup of potties and showers.

  “The Rubbers?”

  “What a name. Can you imagine them in my— our restaurant? For three whole days. I would have had to cancel hundreds of reservations, and, on top of that, Nick didn’t even want to charge the . . . Rubbers! He said that we could afford to pick up the tab for his friends.”

  “I see.”

  “Can you imagine such nonsense? Well, I put my foot down and told him that it wasn’t going to happen. Then he hopped onto his bike, revved it up, and rode it through the restaurant. Almost everything was ruined. He knocked over tables and chairs, broke glass, destroyed the bar when he rammed it. And then he rode away and I never saw him again until last night at Manning’s funeral parlor.”

  He drained his flute, and I poured him more. I’d have to make sure he didn’t drive.

  “Is that right?” I asked, my eyebrow raised.

  “Oh, wait,” he said. “I did see him at a fund-raiser I organized about six months ago. We fought. He broke my nose. And I slashed his arm with my switchblade.”

  “Your illegal switchblade?”

  “One and the same.”

  “And, in the meantime, you had your lawyers and private investigators keeping an eye on him?”

  “Yes. That’s how I found out he broke our contract and changed his policy without my knowledge and put Antoinette Chloe first. I was next. His brother, Sal, is third. The two of us would have to die before Sal got anything.”

  “And Antoinette Chloe would either have to die before you got anything or be found guilty of killing Nick.”

  He held up his glass in a toast, and my desire to kick the chair legs out from under him returned.

  “No one had better try to hurt Antoinette Chloe,” I said as forcefully as I could. “They’d have to go through me first.”

  He grinned. “I’m not looking for a life behind bars. I’m having too good of a time.”

  “How long will your good time last? If you’re chasing down an insurance policy, I’ll bet you’re almost broke.”

  “I’d say that’s none of your business!” His nostrils flared like mine did whenever I smelled pizza. He quickly got himself under control.

  “Like I said, Antoinette Chloe is my friend, pal. And you’re not. I’m looking out for her.”

  “I think it’s time for my overpaid lawyers to earn their retainer and file an order of protection for you to stay away from me, Miz Matkowski. Can’t have you meddling in my affairs, now, can I?”

  “Weenie.” I am so brilliant when threatened with lawyers, I resort to name-calling.

  He said nothing and glanced at his watch. “This conversation is over, Miz Matkowski. I have to shower and get ready for my interview with your detective friend.”

  Taking the hint, I left and went back to my Big House to see what was going on with the Miss Salmon contestants. They’d be gone in four days, so I could get my life and my house back.

  The first person I ran into was Aileen Shubert. She was loading the dishwasher. Now, that was a woman after my heart!

  “Thanks so much, Aileen.”

  “No problem at all.” She was chirpy and friendly, and I still envied her hair. She had perfect makeup and tasteful jewelry and reeked of class.

  If she didn’t win Miss Salmon, she should be named Miss Salmon Congeniality.

  We sat down at the kitchen table to have a cup of tea.

  “Where are you from, Aileen?”

  She tossed her hair. “A small town in Vermont, but I’ve traveled all over.”

  “Doing what?”

  “Modeling, mostly. My credits are in my application that I submitted when I entered Miss Salmon.”

  “Have you entered other pageants?”

  She tucked her hair behind her ears. “Several. Though this is the smallest one I’ve done.”

  “Why did you pick Miss Salmon? It’s such small potatoes, Aileen.”

  She giggled. “I don’t want to sound like a snob, but small pageants are easy for me to win.”

  She’s right. That did sound snobby.

  Betsy, Lisa, and Cher came into the kitchen and sat down. They started complaining about being fish in the main number.

  “Ladies, it’ll be fine!” I said. “How are you finding the Roving Rubbers Motorcycle Club of New England?”

  “The committee members won’t let us near them,” said Aileen.

  “Good! Speaking of the committee members, where are they?” I checked my mental list of those who were on duty—it should be sisters May and June, and also Connie DiMarco.

  “Talking to fisherman at the cleaning station,” said a tall redhead.

  Lord, I wish I could remember names.

  “Trixie, Antoinette Chloe said that she’d lend me some earrings to match my evening gown. Do you know when she’ll be back?” said a short girl with long black hair and white streaks.

  “I don’t know yet. She’s had some difficulty and will be away for a while,” I said.

  For as long as possible, I wanted to put off telling the contestants that ACB was in jail.

  Finishing off my tea, I picked up my purse. “Sorry, ladies. I’d love to stay and talk longer, but I have a couple of things to do downtown. What are your plans for the rest of the day?”

  “We’re going to practice our routine on the lawn,” Aileen said.

  I winked. “Be careful of the fishermen. They just might catch you.”

  That prompted a bunch of groans, so I exited stage left.

  I went upstairs to change out of my funeral clothes. I slid on a pair of tan capris, a nice aqua striped T-shirt, and a pair of comfortable sandals.

  I felt I looked presentable to see Janice Malloy, the lawyer. I called her on my cell phone as I was leaving to make sure she was available.

  “Come right over, Trixie.”

  “Give me fifteen minutes, Janice.”

  “No problem. Just come into the hardware store, and I’ll meet you there.”

  “Okay.”

  Fifteen minutes later, I walked into Malloy’s Hardware and Gift Emporium. I scanned the gift area and saw wood carvings of salmon jumping out of the water, snow globes that said SANDY HARBOR, NY on them, salt and pepper shakers with the same logo, postcards, and various other knickknacks.

  A very pretty woman with curly black hair up in a haphazard ponytail approached me. She was tall and thin and had deep-set brown eyes.

  “Trixie?”

  “Janice?”

  “Yup. Let’s go up to my office.”

  We walked up a worn staircase and entered a beautiful home. The walls were covered in knotty pine, and there was a huge stone fireplace taking up one wall. The kitchen had mossy green granite counters and tall birch cabinets. Beautiful.

  Janice’s office was off the main room. It was cozy and loaded with cute objects—an eclectic array of things that Janice said she’d collected over the years.

  I sat down in the chair opposite hers. Her big desk had an overhang where I could pull up my chair.

  “What can I do for you, Trixie?”

  “I need you to represent Antoinette Chloe Brown,” I blurted out. “She’s currently in the Sandy Harbor Jail, and I’m afraid that her life could be in danger, too, so maybe it’s better if she stays there. Oh, I don’t know!”

  “Wow!” She settled back in her chair. “First, I adore Antoinette Chloe. Second, what’s she in jail for?
”

  “Murdering Nick Brownelli.”

  “Impossible. There’s no way that she’d harm a flea.”

  “I know.”

  I filled her in on the events so far, and ended with her being arrested. She took copious notes on her computer and on a yellow legal pad.

  “When’s her arraignment?”

  “Nine o’clock tomorrow morning.”

  “I’ll be there. I’ll ask for bail. After all, she’s a longtime resident of the Sandy Harbor community and she has a business here. She’s not a flight risk,” Janice said.

  “No, she’s not. And she’s been staying with me to help chaperone the Miss Salmon contestants.”

  “Excellent. Oh, Trixie, are you prepared to bail her out?”

  “Absolutely.”

  “Let me explain what that would entail. You might have to put up your house, the Silver Bullet, and maybe even the housekeeping cottages to guarantee that she’ll appear for all her court appearances.”

  “I’ll put up the whole point to get her out of jail,” I said. “But I’m worried that her life might be in danger if she gets out.”

  I told Janice everything I knew, guessed, or assumed.

  When I had finished relaying everything to her, Janice slid her chair back and stood. “I’ll drive over to the jail and interview Antoinette Chloe tonight. But thanks to you, I have a terrific start.”

  “I’m heading over to the jail now. I’ll tell her that you’re on board.”

  We shook hands and walked out together. Janice went back to her hardware business, and I drove over to the sheriff’s department. It was really a beautiful building.

  Knocking, I turned the brass knob of the thick oak door with frosted glass. It had thick black letters that said SANDY HARBOR SHERIFF’S DEPARTMENT.

  Ty’s feet were on his desk, and he was on the phone.

  When he saw me, he cut his phone call short.

  I sat down, and he removed his feet from the desk so I didn’t have to look on the soles of his department-issued shoes.

  “Ty, did you know that the secondary beneficiary on Nick’s life-insurance policy is the not so charming Chad Dodson? Sal is third.”

  “Yes.”

  “Do you know that Chad Dodson is broke?”

  “I know. He recently had a falling-out with his parents and extended family over his extravagant lifestyle and bad investments.”

  “How did you know that?”

  He raised a perfect black eyebrow.

  “Okay. Never mind,” I said. “Do you think that ACB might be in danger from Chad Dodson?”

  “Yes.”

  “Did you put her in jail to protect her?”

  He hesitated. “Not exactly, but that’s an extra benefit of her arrest.”

  “What else? Certainly not ACB’s phony fingernail and earring and fascinator—oh, and yellow bunny—that were scattered like bread crumbs.”

  He ignored that. “There’s also the fact that three upstanding ladies of the community, along with the rest of your diner patrons, heard her threaten to kill Nick and saw her ruthlessly stab an Italian sausage.”

  “I am convinced that she’s being set up, Ty.”

  “What—someone put a gun to her head and made her stab the sausage and yell about how she wanted to kill Nick?” Ty asked. “Seriously, Trixie, who do you think is setting her up?”

  “I don’t know yet, but I will find out. You can bet on that! But do you know? Do you have a suspicion as to who is framing her?”

  The other perfect black eyebrow went up. “Trixie, let me handle this. I mean it. I don’t want you or anyone else to get hurt.”

  “If you’re trying to keep her safe, I don’t know if I should bail out Antoinette Chloe. She’s supposed to be the emcee for the Miss Salmon pageant. If she misses it, she’ll be a crazy woman.”

  “When is it again?”

  “Four more days.”

  “Maybe I’ll have the perp by then, and she’ll be free to go.”

  “Are you that close?” I couldn’t contain my excitement.

  He folded his arms across his chest.

  “So, I shouldn’t bail her out now?” I asked.

  “No. If you’re really her friend, let her stay here. Believe me, she’s very comfortable.”

  “Will you let me in to see her?”

  “Of course. Follow me.”

  He opened another thick oak door and held it open for me. There was one cell.

  “Where is she?” I asked.

  “This is the men’s side.”

  Another door led us to the women’s side. ACB was on her cell phone. She was ordering curtains with “a garden display” and getting overnight delivery.

  Her jail cell looked almost as cluttered as her room at my house. She’d been here only a couple of hours, and her cell was stuffed with all the comforts of home.

  She had a pretty bedspread with big red peonies on it, a nightstand with a doily, a pink-tasseled reading lamp, a stuffed cat on her bed, and an assortment of clothes hanging on hangers from the cell bars.

  She was eating takeout from the Gas and Grab.

  “Trixie!” She hung up her phone. “Come and share my meatball sub.”

  “I’m good.”

  “Ty, would you bring in a chair for Trixie?”

  “Yes, ma’am.” He gave a salute and left the room.

  When he returned, Ty opened the door to ACB’s cell and let me enter. He put the chair next to her bed.

  “Aren’t you going to search me, Deputy?” I asked. “I might have a hacksaw in my purse to break this dangerous criminal out of here.”

  “Go for it,” he said. “And take all her stuff with you.”

  He left without locking the cell behind him, and ACB kept eating.

  “It’s not so bad here in jail, other than the orange jumpsuit. It doesn’t suit my coloring at all.”

  “But you have several muumuus here.”

  “They’re my court clothes, but I don’t think that Ty would mind if I change into them instead of wearing this orange thing. Do you?”

  “I’m surprised he was able to talk you into putting that thing on.” I chuckled, thinking of what Ty must have said to Antoinette Chloe to get her to do it. “Who brought you the other items—your comforter, doily, lamp, and all the rest?”

  “Ty did. I made him a list, and he brought this all back.”

  That alarmed me. “You gave him the key to your house?”

  “It’s unlocked.”

  “But you let him go in there? Heaven’s sake, Antoinette Chloe, he could search it. Maybe he’d even find things that could incriminate you.”

  “I don’t have anything to hide, Trixie. Besides, look at all my things that were found where Nick was buried. Someone else beat him to it.”

  Maybe I was being paranoid. In spite of my earlier annoyance at him, I knew that Ty was a fair and honorable guy. But he had a job to do. It was hard to explain that to ACB when she thought he was the best thing since mayonnaise cake.

  I changed the subject. “I talked to Janice. She’s coming to see you soon. And we’ll both be with you when you appear in court tomorrow morning.”

  “Thank you. You’re a good friend, and I trust Janice.”

  “By the way, I have your payroll things in the car. Fingers sent it all. You could do your payroll in here and write out the checks. I could pass them out or give them to Fingers to pass out. I’ll go and get everything. Be right back.”

  I stood, but she put her hand on my knee. “Ty will get everything. Just give him a yell.”

  I didn’t want to be waited on by Ty. He had better things to do.

  “That’s okay. I’ll get them later.” I handed her a napkin to wipe the tomato sauce that was all over her hands. “So, are you doing ok
ay in here?”

  “It’s nice and quiet, and I’m getting a lot of things done. I’ve made a lot of phone calls regarding the pageant. Tying up loose ends. I think it will turn out great. I can’t wait!”

  “Antoinette Chloe, you can’t emcee the pageant from jail.”

  “I’ll just have to bail myself out,” she said. “Trixie, I hate to ask you, but would you be my backup plan just in case my bail is too high?”

  I felt like crying. “I’d bail you out in a New York minute, but I don’t know if I can. All my property is still in Aunt Stella’s name. She wanted to put it all in my name, but I wouldn’t let her until I pay her off completely. I’m so sorry, Antoinette Chloe. So sorry.”

  “I understand.” She took my hand and held it. “Please don’t worry. I can put up Brown’s and my drive-in land.”

  “Yes, you probably can. We’ll just have to wait and see how much your bail is going to be.”

  “Maybe they’ll set my bail really high. I’m charged with second-degree murder, Trixie. I think that’s one of the things Sal was found guilty of. Doesn’t that sound just awful?”

  “Yes, it does, but we both know that you didn’t kill Nick.”

  “Who hates me enough to frame me?”

  “I don’t know, Antoinette Chloe, but I’m going to find out. Now, do you have anyone in mind?”

  She shrugged. “There may be some women who are jealous of my couture. I mean, I’m pretty much of a fashion leader here in Sandy Harbor.”

  Yikes.

  “And my restaurant is successful, and since I hired Fingers, it’s really rocking. The man is a gem. I think I’ll give him a raise.”

  ACB was just so generous. If the people of Sandy Harbor knew how generous she actually was, they’d be astonished.

  If a farmer needed money to hold him over until his crop came in, an anonymous money order came in the mail. Single mothers often found boxes of groceries by their front door. If someone couldn’t pay their doctor’s bill, ACB anonymously paid it. If a family was struggling through Christmas, ACB bought candy and gifts for the children, along with a turkey and all the trimmings, and had them delivered anonymously.

  When Sal was arrested, Antoinette Chloe came to me and asked if I could teach her to cook. Subsequently, she trained with all of my cooks for a good two weeks, and never missed a day.