Mr. Smithfield

by Louise Bay

  I glanced at him with a frown. “Absolutely not. Do you?”

  “No, of course not.”

  I tried to bite back a grin. I liked that the serious, almost gruff side of Gabriel was back. It wasn’t as if that wasn’t him during sex. Just that he was . . . more. He was open and far less guarded. I liked it all. I just hoped I wasn’t about to get a case of whiplash again. There had been a number of times when I thought my attraction to him was reciprocated and then he receded into being my boss and a man I happened to live with. After tonight, I wasn’t sure I’d handle it from him.

  “So, do we have to have a talk now about how this shouldn’t have happened?” If that was the way this was going to go, I wanted to know now. I liked Gabriel and the sex had been the best I’d ever had. Whatever I’d been doing before couldn’t really be described as sex anymore. There was no real comparison. “Because, it has happened. And I can’t regret it, Gabriel.”

  He pulled me toward him, circling my waist with one arm. “That’s not how this is going to go. I like you, Autumn. There’s a connection between us that I can’t ignore, however hard I try.”

  “But I don’t understand why you’ve tried so hard.” I wasn’t a virus to be avoided.

  “There are a lot of reasons. Dexter. Hollie. You’re young. A great nanny. All that, and my last relationship didn’t go so well. I don’t want to hurt you, Autumn. And I don’t want . . . Bethany’s life disrupted.”

  Gabriel usually said so little, but right now he seemed to be sharing almost everything on his mind. I didn’t want to push things too hard. I wasn’t angling for a ring. Honesty and openness were all I wanted.

  “I’ll tell you what it will take me to concede at Monopoly,” I said, wanting something from him that was beyond words. “Show me your workshop.” I’d been wanting to get behind that door since the moment I moved in. And now I’d seen him naked, it seemed suddenly unfair that he was keeping it from me.

  “Now?” he asked.

  I shrugged. Seemed as good a time as any. He looked deliciously rumpled, softer somehow in the afterglow of the best sex I’d ever had.

  He shoved a hand deep into his jean pocket and pulled out a key.

  “Okay,” he said, like it was no big deal.

  I wasn’t sure if my heart was racing like a greyhound out of the gate because I would finally get to see where Gabriel disappeared to every night, or because he took my hand, kissed me on my knuckles, and then slid his fingers between mine. “Don’t touch anything, mind.”

  The click of the lock sounded, and he bent to kiss me before he turned the doorknob and pushed open the door.

  I didn’t know where to look first. “It’s a . . . workshop.” A huge wooden island sat in the middle of the room, aged with layers of bumps and scratches. Clamps were attached around one edge and a couple of machines were set on the other side. Beneath my feet were bare floorboards littered with wooden boxes full of . . . implements. The walls on two sides were covered in green racks of chisels, hammers, and lots of other tools I had no name for, sitting over built-in wooden cabinets. Along another wall was open shelving, stuffed full of books and cans of paints and tubs and jars. It was like I’d walked into a small factory. How was all this hidden behind that door?

  “I told you it was a workshop.”

  “I know you did,” I replied, stepping inside. “But I didn’t expect it to be this kind of workshop.” Gabriel Chase, the serious, soulful lawyer, was a secret carpenter on the side. Who would have guessed?

  He glanced down at his feet. “I’ve never shown anyone.”

  I snapped my head toward him but didn’t say anything, feeling sad for him that for whatever reason, he hadn’t had anyone to share this with. I was honored to be the first.

  “So, you use all this stuff?” I asked, trailing my free hand over a smaller side bench that was up against the near wall. I liked the idea of him in those worn jeans, flexing his delicious muscles as he sanded, painted, and chiseled. It was so earthy. So freaking sexy. And I thought he was sexier than any man I’d ever met before I’d known what was behind his secret door.

  “Yeah. I’m surprised you’ve never heard me.”

  Now that I thought about it, I had heard banging from time to time, but I’d assumed it must be the neighbors. I wasn’t exactly used to living in silence at the Sunshine Trailer Park, so I’d just accepted it.

  “What kind of thing do you do in here?”

  He dropped my hand and moved to the far side of the room. “This is my latest project,” he said, pulling off the plastic cover from a huge bookcase, taller than even Gabriel. “I haven’t really started yet but it’s a Globe-Wernicke,” he explained, and his chest lifted with a hint of pride as he spoke.

  “It’s nice,” I said, unsure what to make of the reddish-brown, hulking piece of furniture.

  “It’s not really. Not yet. And I overpaid for it.” He sighed. “I’d wanted to do one for ages.”

  I grinned up at him. “And when you say you want to do one, what exactly does that entail?”

  “Well,” he said, bending and running his fingers down the edge of it. “See here? The beading has been knocked. It’s splintering all down this side. And this . . .” He pinched the brass knob on the front of one of the shelves. “This is my favorite part.”

  Each of the six shelves had a glass front and he lifted up the door on one and pushed it back on itself so it stayed up. “Isn’t it great?” he said, turning to me, a grin across his face. “These little up and over doors . . . It’s perfect. Or it will be. Two of the shelves are broken.”

  “So you’re going to fix it?”

  He nodded. “I haven’t decided whether or not I’ll sand off the entire thing. I doubt it. I’ll probably just polish it up. You can’t plan too much with these things because there’s always something that comes out of left field and surprises you. But if I was going to take the lacquer off and take it back to the wood and then re-stain and re-coat it all, it would take me years. Between work and Bethany, I don’t get too much time in here.”

  “I’ve imagined a hundred things that could have been behind this door,” I said. “But I didn’t suspect anything like this.”

  “Are you disappointed?” he asked, smirking and lifting me by the waist up onto the workbench island.

  I smoothed my hands over his shoulders, taking in the room from this change of viewpoint. “I should have guessed. I mean, I know you’re good with your hands.”

  He chuckled and pressed a kiss to my forehead. “This place saved me after Penelope left.”

  He’d never mentioned his wife before tonight, but apparently she was a shadow that loomed over him. Was she an ex-wife? Hollie had explained she’d walked out without any warning when Bethany was a baby, but I didn’t actually know if they were divorced.

  “Distraction is a good thing,” I said, trying to keep neutral and not wanting to open a can of worms marked ex.

  “It didn’t work so well with you,” he replied with a grin.

  I shrugged. “I’m relentless,” I said on a yawn.

  “We should get to bed.” He checked his watch. “It’s late and I’ve got a busy day tomorrow.” He took me by the waist and set me down on my feet. “You were right, though. I need to get back to the office.”

  “Good. Remember this so that next time I don’t have to sleep with you to convince you to see it my way.”

  “Okay,” he said, grinning as we filed out of his workshop. “But maybe I like having you convince me.”

  “Yeah, I don’t mind that part so much either.”

  He smiled one of those rare smiles I liked enough to count. I pushed my hands through his hair. “Thank you for showing me this,” I said. Gabriel unlocking that room and sharing it with me felt like a turning point between us. More than the flirtatious glances and the illicit touches. More even than the sex. Him showing the workshop to me was him letting me in. And I wanted to stay. But I knew better than most that real life didn’t have many
happy-ever-afters. It had for Hollie, and there was no one more deserving, but there was no way London could be my salvation too, no matter how hard I wanted it to be.

  Thirteen

  Gabriel

  It had been almost a week since I’d been with Autumn, but I’d barely seen her. I couldn’t wait to get home tonight. I’d have missed dinner with Bethany, but I would get to put her to bed at least. I unlocked the door, went inside, and was greeted by music coming from the living room. “Hello,” I called but no answer. It wasn’t bath time yet. Where were they?

  I set down my things and took off my coat and went to investigate.

  I poked my head around the door to find Autumn sitting on the floor, her back against the sofa, surrounded by pillows and a duvet over her. She was grinning up at Bethany who was dancing in front of the TV.

  “Good evening,” I said, wondering what the hell was going on.

  “Daddy!” A pajamaed Bethany squealed and ran into my arms, officially making it the best part of my day so far.

  “We weren’t expecting you so soon,” Autumn said, smiling at me.

  “It’s movie night,” Bethany explained. “We have popcorn.”

  I glanced at the coffee table, covered in plates and drinks.

  “We made it in the mic-wave.”

  “This is very cozy,” I said as Bethany put her arms around my neck and squeezed. I swear the girl was half-human, half-anaconda.

  “Come join us,” Autumn said, patting the floor next to her.

  “Yes, Daddy. Eat popcorn. Please stay and don’t work.”

  How could I say no to an invitation like that? “Okay but you’ve got to tell me what I’m meant to do.”

  Autumn laughed. “You need instructions to relax, watch a movie, and eat popcorn?” She shook her head. “It seems we have some work to do on your daddy, Bethany.”

  “In my defense, it looks like you have more going on here than that.”

  “You want in?” She lifted the duvet.

  “Yes, Daddy. You have to be under the duvet if you’re sitting down.”

  Autumn shrugged. “The rules are the rules.” She offered me the bowl of popcorn and I shuffled under the duvet and took it from her.

  “This was dinner?” I asked as I toed off my shoes and took a seat next to Autumn, making sure I wasn’t touching her in case that freaked Bethany. I didn’t want it to look like I was deliberately not touching her either.

  “We had an early dinner,” Autumn replied. “This is Friday night after-dinner snacks. We have a fruit platter as well. You don’t need to worry.”

  “And hummus crunchies,” Bethany said, trampling over our outstretched feet, finding something that looked vaguely like a crisp, and bringing it back and handing it to me. “They’re yummy.”

  I took the crisp and took a bite. Not because I was hungry or curious but because my daughter wanted me to. “Yummy,” I said. “So what’s the film?”

  “You have to call it movie, Daddy. Like Autumn.”

  “Okay,” I said, smiling at her. At this rate she’d have an American accent by the end of the month. “What movie are we watching.”

  “Singing and Dancing,” Bethany said, and I groaned. Not a musical.

  “Singin’ in the Rain,” Autumn said. “Like I said, she’s four. She should know these songs by heart.”

  “Yes, I remember. I’m a terrible father for neglecting her musicals education.”

  Autumn’s smile was like a physical touch. It filled her face, lit up the room, and warmed my soul. “Well, at least you’re aware and willing to put things right. Or at least have me put them right.”

  “I might leave you to it,” I said, shifting to get up. There was always work to do. “I hate musicals.”

  “Sit your butt back down,” Autumn said.

  “Butt, butt, butt, butt.” Bethany started jumping on the spot.

  “No one hates Singin’ in the Rain,” Autumn declared. “It’s impossible. And if you’ve never seen it, you can’t say you hate it.”

  “It’s sooo good, Daddy.”

  “I can hate it,” I said. “I got dragged to see Cats once when it was in the West End. Was up there as one of the worst experiences of my life.”

  “Well, Jiminy Cricket, Bethany, what a terrible life your father has had. But what he doesn’t know is that movie musicals are different from stage musicals. And Singin’ in the Rain is the best movie musical of all time.” She turned to me. “You hated the show Cats. It doesn’t mean you hate all movie musicals. You can’t write things off like that.”

  “Why would I waste my time? It’s not like I’m Sam I am. I’ve tried them. I just don’t like them.”

  Autumn burst into a laugh. “That’s a perfect name for you—Sam I Am.”

  I wanted to grab her and kiss her senseless for teasing me. No one ever dared to tease me. “I’m the opposite of Sam I Am. I’ve already had green eggs and ham.” Oh Christ, I was rhyming now.

  “Nope. You saw one musical. One time. Broaden your horizons. Give them another shot. The genre deserves a second chance to impress you.”

  She was relentless. I loosened my tie and resigned myself to at least half an hour of hell. After that, surely she’d agree I’d eaten my green eggs and ham. “Okay then. Do your worst, put it on.”

  “You’ll stay?” Bethany said. “You don’t have to work?” She landed on my lap with a thud, and I pulled her so she was leaning against my front.

  It pinched at my heart that Bethany assumed I’d have to work rather than stay with her and watch a film on a Friday night. I wanted to provide for her and be a good role model, but she should know that I’d rather hang out with her than do anything else in this moment.

  “Only if I get some popcorn,” I replied.

  “You can have all of it. Can’t he, Autumn?”

  “Yes, he can,” she replied.

  “You’re going to love this movie so much, Daddy.”

  What I was going to love was sitting with my warm, snuggly daughter in my lap, next to one of the most beautiful, bright, kind women I’d ever met.

  Every now and then, Autumn would glance at me and smile, seemingly glad that I was making the effort to stay and enjoy the film. Intermittently, Bethany would get up and dance to the music and we’d applaud her and she’d curtsey.

  Just as we were getting toward the end, Autumn sat up straight. “This is it. Are you ready?” She glanced at Bethany. “Fingers on lips.”

  Dutifully, Bethany put her index finger across her lips and drew her knees up to her chin.

  Gene Kelly and Debbie Reynolds gathered in a doorway to shelter from the rain. Apparently something important was about to happen.

  We all held our breath as Autumn stared dreamily at the screen.

  “Gah,” Autumn said as music started playing. “That is the most romantic line in movie history—‘This California dew is just a little heavier than usual tonight.’”

  Gene Kelly was dancing his way down the rainy street. “Is that romantic?” Maybe I was missing something.

  “Not that line. The next one when he says ‘Really? From where I stand the sun is shining all over the place.’”

  I didn’t laugh because I could tell she was serious, but it took some effort.

  She glanced at me and then shifted toward me when she saw I didn’t agree. “What? You don’t think it’s romantic?”

  “You don’t think it’s a little . . . cheesy?”

  She groaned as if I was the stupidest person on earth. “It’s not cheesy if you’re so in love with someone that you can’t even tell it’s raining.”

  “I think if you’re out in a rainstorm like that and you can’t tell it’s raining, you need to go to the doctor.”

  She shook her head and folded her arms. “Such a cynic.”

  We watched the rest of the movie in silence, and I couldn’t tell if she was completely engrossed or smarting at my comment.

  “You see,” Autumn said, as the credits started to
roll. “Wasn’t it just the greatest?” She grinned as if she was having the best time of her life.

  “It’s not as bad as Cats,” I said, hoping that would be enough to placate her.

  She rolled her eyes. “It’s a phenomenal movie.”

  She was phenomenal.

  “Although, second time around it looks like it put your daughter to sleep,” she said.

  I glanced down at the comfortable tangle of limbs in my lap. She hadn’t fallen asleep on me like that since she was a baby. It seemed like yesterday and at the same time, so long ago. That first year of Bethany’s life I thought I’d finally got the perfect family and now here I was, a single father.

  “It’s late,” I said, looking at the clock. “Just gone eight.”

  “Another wild, crazy Friday night.”

  For a brief second, I wanted to ask her what her Friday nights were like back in America. Had they been wild and crazy? Is that what she wanted? Parties, being up all night? I stopped myself. I shouldn’t be thinking about what Autumn was looking for. I could deal with right now and not a moment in the future.

  We’d not talked about the fact that we’d had sex. I’d been tied up at work and we’d barely seen each other. And I didn’t know what to say. For so long I’d kept that side of myself locked away, but Autumn had come along and bulldozed her way into my life. Into my heart. And although I had a thousand reasons why I shouldn’t touch her again, whenever I was near her, none of them seemed to matter.

  I reached out with one hand and cupped Autumn’s face. “You look beautiful,” I said, stroking my thumb against her cheek. She slid her hand over mine.

  “It was nice that you stayed. Thank you.”

  “How could I say no?” I asked, wondering if I could dive into those deep brown eyes of hers.

  I removed my hand. “I need to get this one to bed,” I said as I stood. “Can you bring Bear Bear?”

  “Sure,” she said, scooping the toy up and following me as I headed upstairs.

  I laid Bethany in bed and pressed a kiss against her cheek, tucking Bear Bear under her arm. God, I loved her so much. All the pain with Penelope was worth it to have such a miracle in my life every day. I was so lucky.