He grinned. “Nah, I saw the dude walking to your door. I thought I’d pay for it, so I had an excuse to talk to you.”
“You didn’t have to buy my dinner to talk to me. All you had to do was walk across the hall and knock on my door.”
“I wasn’t sure you’d answer. I knew if I had food, you’d have to.” He smirked at me.
Ah, there’s that smirk I love to hate.
“Good point. I’d never slam the door in food’s face,” I joked.
I held out my hands, and he gave me the pizza. We stood there awkwardly, neither of us sure what to say next.
“Do you want to come in?” I finally said.
“I thought you’d never ask.” He stepped into my apartment.
I closed the door before following him to the couch.
He sat down and picked up the stack of papers I’d been grading. “What’s this?”
“A one-page report on the Revolutionary War. I have to say, grading homework is probably my least favorite thing about teaching. I have to keep searching random phrases online to make sure they didn’t plagiarize. The little shits are smart.”
He chuckled. “When I was in school, I had dial-up. It would’ve taken me longer to copy something online than to write the paper myself.”
“Careful, you’re telling your age, old man.”
I put the pizza down on the table and opened the lid. I picked up a piece and gestured for Alec to do the same. I watched him out of the corner of my eye as I took a bite. He looked relaxed as he ate. I couldn’t help but notice the difference in his attitude now compared to when we’d first met.
“Why did you act like an asshole in the hallway that first day?” I asked him.
He frowned. “I already told you why. I know your type, Rebecca, and I saw the way you were looking at me. It was better to scare you off and be done with it.”
“So, you don’t normally act like that?” I asked.
He grinned. “No, I do.”
I sighed. “You’re so confusing. I hope you know that. If you’re normally an ass, why weren’t you being one that night? Why aren’t you being one now? The guy I met in the hallway would never have cared enough to break into my apartment to apologize.”
“I didn’t technically break in. I just opened the door,” he pointed out. “I don’t know why I’m being nice to you now. Maybe I’m just hoping that we’ll end up as friends.”
“Are you normally friends with chicks?”
He hesitated. “Not usually.”
“Then, what’s so different about me?”
He seemed thoughtful. “I don’t know.”
We were quiet for a while, both of us lost in our thoughts. I nibbled on my pizza as I tried to figure Alec out. He was a walking contradiction. He’d claimed to be an asshole, and I’d been a witness to more than one episode proving that, but there were times when I’d wondered if he was really as bad as he acted. An ass would never have apologized for what he’d done to me. He wouldn’t be sitting here with me now, eating pizza, like it was a normal thing for us to do on a Friday night.
“Why aren’t you working?” I asked.
He shrugged. “I had some personal shit to take care of, so I called off work yesterday and today. What are they going to do? Fire me?”
“What kind of personal stuff?” I asked, unable to stop myself. I knew next to nothing about Alec, and I was curious. I knew I shouldn’t try to get to know him better, but when he was around, I couldn’t seem to remember that I needed to distance myself.
He looked away but not before I saw the pain in his eyes.
“My dad has cancer, and he isn’t doing very good. I went to see him and get his affairs in order.”
If I hadn’t seen the pain in his eyes, I would have heard it in his voice. Without thinking, I reached out and took his hand in mine. He looked down at our joined hands and lightly squeezed mine.
“I’m so sorry, Alec. I didn’t mean to pry, especially with something so painful.”
He shrugged. “It’s okay. It sucks, but it is what it is. My dad and I have never been close. He worked all the time when I was growing up. I was mostly raised by nannies.” He chuckled, but it was humorless. “My dad and I found out about his cancer almost a year ago. I think I’ve spent more time with him since then than I ever have before.”
“Is he receiving radiation or chemo?” I asked.
He shook his head. “It’s inoperable, and he’s refused any other treatments. I’m surprised he’s made it this long. It’s only a matter of time, probably weeks, until he goes.”
“My mom is a doctor. I could call her, and maybe she could look at his records and see if there’s anything else she might suggest,” I said, desperate to help him.
He squeezed my hand again. “There’s no point. He’s ready to go, Rebecca. I think he’s been ready since we lost my mom when I was little. I’m not going to spend the last few weeks of his life fighting with him over it. I respect his wishes.”
I closed my eyes, trying to hold back my tears. I felt so helpless. All I wanted to do was make things better for Alec, but there was nothing I could do.
“Hey, don’t cry. It’s okay, really. I’ve accepted it.”
“I can’t help it.” I sniffled.
He pulled me into his arms, shocking me. “You know, I hate it when you cry. Please stop, or I’ll do something drastic.”
“Like what? Hit on me?” I asked, trying to lighten the mood. It might have worked if I wasn’t still sniffling.
“I could tickle you until you pee.”
“If you do, I’ll stab you with a pen,” I warned in a completely serious tone. I hated being tickled.
“I’ll take my chances.” He moved his hands to my ribs.
I opened my mouth to tell him not to even think about it, but it was too late. He started tickling me mercilessly. As he tickled under my arm, I scrambled to get away from him, but he was holding one hand around me to keep me from escaping.
“Please stop,” I gasped.
“Not a chance.” He tickled me everywhere he could reach.
I jerked hard, desperate to get away from him, but all I managed to do was fall over sideways on the couch, causing him to land on top of me. He continued to tickle me for a few seconds longer before finally taking mercy on my poor soul.
I fought for breath as I glared up at him. “That was cruel.”
He smirked. “At least you stopped crying.”
My glare disappeared as I realized just how close we were pressed together. I swallowed hard. “You can let me up now. I promise not to cry.” My voice sounded rough, even to my own ears.
He stared down at me, the smirk slipping off his face. “I think I’ll keep you where you are.”
I shoved at his chest as I tried to squirm out from underneath him, but it was pointless. His weight kept me from moving an inch.
“Let me up.”
He pressed his body tighter against mine. I wasn’t sure if he was doing it on purpose or if it was just a natural reaction. I sucked in a sharp breath as I felt the hard length of his dick against my leg. He seemed to notice just how close we were. Instead of moving away like I’d expected, he stayed right where he was.
“Move,” I said, my voice nothing more than a whisper.
He shook his head. “I can’t. Goddamn it. I want to, but I can’t.”
He lowered his head and brushed his lips against mine. It was the sweetest kiss I’d ever tasted. Without hesitating, I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him closer. It felt like the most natural thing in the world. A growl came from deep within his throat when I ran my hands through the silky locks of his hair.
The kiss grew feverish. He kissed me fast and hard, like he was afraid he’d never have another chance. I parted my lips to welcome him to explore deeper, and he didn’t disappoint. His tongue thrust into my mouth, causing heat to flare from deep within my body. I felt like I was on fire everywhere our bodies were pressed together.
&
nbsp; He ran his hand down my ribs, past my hip, and stopped when he reached the bottom of my shorts. His hand was hot against my bare skin. A moan escaped from my lips. My body begged me to let him touch me everywhere.
“Please,” I whispered against his lips, unsure of what I was begging for.
He groaned. “Your body is pure temptation to me, Rebecca.”
I whimpered as his hand moved to the inside of my leg. His fingers crept up and under my shorts. My body jerked when his hand slipped into my underwear. Then, he touched me in a way that I’d never been touched before. My head fell back against the couch as I felt his fingers gliding through my wet folds. Stopping over my throbbing clit, he circled it with his thumb, teasing me. I ground my hips against him, hoping to relieve the ache. He growled as he suddenly lost control. He cursed loudly as he pinched my clit between his fingers. I cried out as common sense left me and my body took over, my hips moving faster and faster. He thrust two fingers into me, and I shouted his name.
“You’re so fucking tight, Rebecca. Come for me, baby,” Alec said just before biting down on my neck.
Without warning, waves of ecstasy crashed over me. I would have been embarrassed at how loud I was screaming Alec’s name as I came, but I was past the point of caring. When my body finally came back down to earth, I opened my eyes.
Alec raised his head and stared down at me. “You make me lose control,” he whispered. “No matter how hard I try to stay away from you, I can’t. What is it about you that keeps drawing me back?”
“My charming personality?” I joked, my voice hoarse. I wasn’t sure how I was even able to speak.
Alec grinned as he slowly removed his hand from my shorts. I jumped when his hand brushed against my overly sensitive clit.
Dear God, the man made me come without taking off any of my clothes.
His eyes darkened when he noticed how I’d responded to him. “I need to go.”
My eyes widened in disbelief as he moved off of me and stood up. “Wait—what? You’re just going to leave after that?”
“I’ve got to go, or I’ll end up spending the night here.”
I opened my mouth to tell him that I didn’t care, but he shook his head before I could say anything.
“You might say yes right now, but you’d regret it later. We’ve already gone too far. I just can’t. I’m sorry.” He walked to my door. “Good-bye, Rebecca.”
I stayed where I was long after he’d closed my apartment door behind him.
What just happened?
I yawned as I climbed the stairs to my apartment door. I was exhausted from working all week. Without thinking, I glanced at Alec’s door before heading to my own. It was a nasty little habit I’d picked up over the past month.
After Alec had left my apartment that night, he’d disappeared again. A week had gone by and then another. When I couldn’t take it anymore, I’d finally gathered enough courage to walk across the hall and knock on his door, but nothing happened. I’d tried again a few days later. He never answered.
I’d assumed that he was home and just avoiding me. I understood why, but I would have been lying if I said it didn’t hurt. The morning after our encounter on my couch, I’d woken up and realized how mortified I was. I’d let Alec touch me. I’d never, not even once, let another man touch me the way he had. With him, I hadn’t even thought about telling him no. At the time, it had felt right.
After a month of complete silence, I’d decided that I was an idiot for giving in to him. He obviously didn’t want anything to do with me. The man had admitted that he was a man-whore, yet he didn’t want me. Obviously, he’d had a moment of weakness that night, and it seemed to only strengthen his resolve to stay away from me.
I glanced back at his door one more time before finally unlocking mine and slipping into my apartment. I needed to forget about Alec. He’d certainly forgotten about me.
Two days later on Saturday morning, I finally saw Alec again. I almost wished I hadn’t. When I opened my apartment door to leave to meet Arie for breakfast, I saw Alec’s door opening as well. My stomach dropped to my knees when I saw a woman stepping out of his apartment. She had obviously spent the night with him if her smeared makeup and wrinkled clothes were any indication. She turned back and kissed him before walking away. She didn’t even seem to notice me standing only a few feet away.
A surge of anger went through me even though I had no right to feel that way. Alec wasn’t mine, not even close, and I had no claim on him. He could bring as many women as he wanted back to his apartment.
Alec started to close the door, but then he noticed me just before it shut. He hesitated, obviously debating on whether to close it the rest of the way or acknowledge me. That made me even angrier.
How dare he ignore me after everything that happened between us.
“Hey,” he said quietly as he opened the door a few more inches. He looked away as he spoke, a guilty look on his face.
I had no idea why he felt guilty, but there it was.
“Hi,” I said, trying to control the rage bubbling beneath the surface.
He raised his eyes to stare at me. Neither of us spoke for what seemed like an eternity.
“How have you been?” he finally asked.
“Um…good. You?”
Could this get any more awkward?
“I’m okay. My dad passed away three weeks ago. I’m still trying to deal with that.”
My anger instantly dissolved, and I took a step forward. “Oh God, I’m so sorry, Alec. I had no idea.”
I raised my hand to rest it on his arm, but I caught myself and slowly lowered it. Touching him wasn’t what either of us wanted or needed.
“It’s okay. I mean, yeah, it hurts, but I knew it was coming. I’d prepared myself for it.”
“It still has to be eating you alive,” I said quietly. “My dad took off when I was younger, and I’m so angry with him for it, but I’d still be heartbroken if something happened to him.”
Alec kept his expression neutral, but I could see the pain in his eyes.
“It is what it is. I just got back a couple of days ago. After his funeral was over, I had to deal with the paperwork to sign off on his estate and to sell his properties. It sucks being an only child because I have to deal with all of it on my own. It’s done now though, so I don’t have to worry about any of it anymore. His lawyers will handle it from here on out.”
I nodded, unsure of what to say. I felt a sense of relief from knowing that his absence hadn’t been because of me. I’d been so consumed with what happened that night that the thought of his father dying had never even occurred to me.
“Anyway, I’m going to head back to bed. I’ll see you later.” He started to close the door.
“Alec?”
He paused. “Yeah?”
“If you need to talk, you know where to find me. You know you can talk to me, right?”
He gave me a small smile. “I know. Thanks, Rebecca. You’re one of a kind.”
I watched as he closed his door. Instead of beating on his door like I wanted to, I turned and walked down the stairs. There were so many things I wanted to say to him, but now wasn’t the time. I wasn’t sure if there would ever be a right time to talk to Alec about what had happened between the two of us.
I felt like I was trapped somewhere between pathetic and obsessive. Alec was constantly on my mind. No matter where I was or what I was doing, I would catch myself thinking about him. I knew I was being ridiculous. Despite that, I couldn’t bring myself to stop.
I’d seen him about a dozen times since he’d told me about his father’s death, but it had only been in passing. Half those times had been while he was either bringing a woman to his apartment or kicking one out. That alone should have cleared my head and made me realize just how screwed-up my infatuation with him was, but it didn’t.
“For God’s sake, Rebecca! Are you even listening to me?” Arie glared at me from her side of my couch.
“I’m s
orry. What were you saying?” I asked, forcing my thoughts away from Alec.
“This is getting ridiculous, Rebecca. Either go fuck the dude’s brains out, or move on. I’ve never seen you like this, and I’d be lying if I said that it didn’t freak me out.”
I swallowed. “I’m sorry, Arie. I really am. I can’t help it. No matter how hard I try to force myself to forget about him, I can’t.”
I’d already told her everything. Her mouth had literally fallen open when I told her how he’d shown up in my bedroom to apologize. After his scene at the bar, she’d never expected him to try and make things right. She’d also been shocked over what I’d done with him because it was so out of character for me.
“I wish I never had told you to go after him. If I had known how things would turn out, I would have forced you to stay away from him,” she said, not bothering to hide the irritation in her tone.
“I don’t know what I’m supposed to do!” I cried. “He wants nothing to do with me, Arie. He barely says hi when we pass each other in the hall. Whatever was going on between us is gone now.”
She shook her head. “He’s avoiding you for a reason. You need to find out why. If not, you’re going to drive yourself mad.”
“What do you expect me to do? Beat on his door and demand to know what happened to make him change?”
“That’s exactly what I expect you to do! Grow a pair, and figure out what the hell is going on. Then, move the fuck on.”
“You make it sound so simple,” I muttered.
“Because it is. Look,” she said, softening her tone, “I know I’m being a hard-ass, but I’m only watching out for you. You obviously care about this douche, so you need to find out what is going on with him. If he’s as much of an asshole as he claims to be, he would have fucked you senseless at least three times by now. You told me that he has women over all the time, right?”
I all but growled, “Yeah.”
“Well, maybe he’s using them to distract himself from you. Did you ever think of that?”
I laughed humorlessly. “Yeah, because I’m such an important part of his life. The man avoids me like the plague. If I tried to talk to him, the only thing that would come of it is that I’d die of embarrassment when he kicked me out of his apartment.”
Taming Alec Page 4