Broken Wings (The Broken Series Book 3)

by Ruff, K. S.

  Kadyn laughed. “That’s good.”

  I swallowed nervously. “Hey, I know it’s late but I have a few things I really need to talk to you about. Thursday is my late night at school. Can you stay a little longer, or do you want to try to hook up on Friday night?”

  Kadyn’s eyebrows furrowed. “I’m a bit concerned by that tone in your voice. I think you should lay it on me now.”

  I silently debated which bombshell to drop first.

  Kadyn sat back down on the couch. “Kri?”

  “I’ve finally been offered a job,” I offered cautiously.

  Kadyn looked relieved. “Well, that’s good. Where will you be working?”

  I slowly released the breath I’d been holding. “A non-profit organization called Seeds for Peace.”

  He scowled. “Seeds for Peace? Never heard of it.”

  “They do peace-building.”

  Kadyn’s eyes narrowed. “Peace-building. Where?”

  “The job is based out of DC, but it requires international travel,” I responded evasively.

  “Where?” he repeated drily.

  “Africa, the Middle East, and the former Soviet Union. I’m going to Ukraine in June.”

  Kadyn groaned. “Do you have a death wish, Kri?”

  “No,” I responded defensively. “This is a great opportunity to work in the same field I’m studying. I can put what I’m learning to good use, and I’ll be helping people.”

  Kadyn raked his hand over his smooth head. “What exactly will you be doing?”

  “I’ll be training university students how to resolve conflict peacefully. I’ll essentially be teaching them all of the same things I’m learning at school. Once they complete the training, they’ll start conflict resolution programs in their communities and run similar workshops in their high schools and middle schools.”

  Kadyn’s brows furrowed. “Will you be traveling with any kind of security detail?”

  I shook my head. “No. The countries we’re going to are fairly stable. We’re really not doing anything that puts us at risk.”

  Kadyn exhaled loudly. “You are an American, and you are… well… you. Kri, seriously, can’t you find something safer to do?”

  I scowled. “I want to do this.”

  “So help me God, Kri… if you get yourself kidnapped again…”

  I bolted from the couch. “I won’t! God, Kadyn! Don’t jinx me like that!”

  Kadyn stood. “I’m sorry. I just want you to be safe.”

  I began pacing across the floor. “I’ll be traveling with a team of people, I’m taking a Russian immersion course, and I’m going to be studying self-defense.”

  Kadyn folded his arms across his chest. “That right there tells me that you know this job is going to be dangerous. What kind of self-defense class are you taking?”

  I froze as my stomach collided with my toes. “Well, that’s the other thing I needed to talk to you about.”

  Kadyn stilled. “Why do I get the impression this piece of news is even worse than the last?”

  I sighed. “Rafael is going to teach me self-defense.”

  Kadyn’s eyes widened. “Rafael… as in Michael’s brother, Rafael?”

  “Yes,” I whispered. “We’re sort of dating.”

  Kadyn’s face was void of all emotion, but his voice was beyond livid. “Sort. Of. Dating.”

  My heart pounded mercilessly as I tried to sort through how much to reveal. “He approached me three days ago. He’s not working for Michael anymore. He’s running some security firm here. We went out to dinner last night.”

  His eyes narrowed. “In what world is it okay to date your fiancé’s brother?”

  “Michael is not my fiancé,” I gritted out. “In case you’ve forgotten, Michael kicked me to the curb. He’s made it painfully clear that he doesn’t want to see me anymore.”

  Kadyn’s hands clenched. “So Rafael steps in and picks up where he left off?”

  I shook my head. “Rafael tried to talk Michael into taking me back. Michael refused.”

  “What about me?” Kadyn asked angrily.

  “Rafael waited five months for you to take me back. You said we couldn’t go back to the way things were. You said you’d be my friend, but that was as far as you were willing to go.” I shook my head again. “Michael doesn’t want me and neither do you, Kadyn. Rafael does. He was there for me when I lost the baby. He’s the one who picked me up off the floor and brought me back to my family. He was a good friend through some really difficult times. So why shouldn’t I date him?”

  “Why?” Kadyn asked incredulously. “Why?” he shouted. His voice was dripping with sarcasm. “Let’s start with the obvious. First, he’s Michael’s brother. You don’t get engaged to a guy, then date his brother. Ever. Second, I don’t trust him. He’ll manipulate and deceive you the same way his brother did. Third, you’re still in love with Michael… and fourth… fourth… fourth is me! Rafael isn’t the only one who’s picked you up off the floor, Kri. I have been through hell and back for you, twice.”

  I backed away as Kadyn drew closer. My cell phone chimed with an incoming message. My eyes flitted to the counter.

  Kadyn leaned into my face. “And what’s this crap about I don’t want you? I don’t want you? Do I look like I don’t want you?”

  My heart stalled as Kadyn boxed me in against the wall. “I… no… but…”

  His lips crashed against mine as he pinned me to the wall. “Does that feel like a man who doesn’t want you?” He didn’t bother waiting for a response. His lips captured mine in a kiss that was brutal and raw.

  I tried to push him away, but he wouldn’t budge. I sobbed into his mouth.

  He pulled back. “What the hell do you think is going on here, Kri? I’ve been waiting for you to get over Michael. I’ve been trying to help you heal. I told you I loved you but I couldn’t be with you when you were still in love with another man. I never told you I didn’t love you. I never said I didn’t want you. Shit!” Kadyn pushed away from me as my cell phone chimed again.

  He glared at me from across the room. “I’m out of here. You want to screw up your life again, you go right ahead. Rafael is nothing more than the rebound guy. If he’s as decent as you claim he is, then you’re only going to end up hurting him too.” Kadyn scooped up his movies and stormed out of the house.

  Tears streamed down my face as I slid down the wall. My phone chimed again. I crawled over to the counter, reached up for my phone, and sank against the cupboards. There were three missed messages from Rafael. I swiped at my eyes so I could read through the messages.

  Are you okay?

  The security guys heard yelling. Text me to let me know you’re okay.

  If you don’t text me, I’m sending them in.

  I quickly typed out a response. I’m okay. Please don’t send them in.

  He responded immediately. They just saw Kadyn leave. What happened?

  I reached for the counter and pulled myself to my feet. I leaned against the counter as I typed my response. Kadyn got upset when I told him I’m dating you. I pushed away from the counter and began turning off the lights. I couldn’t believe Kadyn still loved me. How could he want a relationship with me after everything I’d done?

  The phone rang as I turned to go upstairs. I glanced at the Caller ID. “Rafael,” I mumbled wearily. My voice cracked as I answered the phone. “Hi.”

  “I’m sorry, baby. I know his friendship means a lot to you. Do you want me to come over?”

  I collapsed onto my bed. “No, Rafael. This doesn’t trump guarding the prince. I’m upset and a little confused, but I’ll be okay. What are you doing?”

  “I’m walking the perimeter of the hotel. The prince has retired to his room.”

  I closed my eyes. “When do you get to sleep?”

  “I’m not going to sleep.”

  My eyes popped open. “Really? You aren’t going to sleep… for three days?”

  He chuckled softly. “I’
ll catch a cat nap in front of his hotel room if other members of his security detail are still awake.”

  I slid out of bed to dig some pajamas out of the drawer. “That’s got to be brutal.”

  “I’ll catch up on sleep this weekend. How did your interview go this morning?”

  I tried to juggle the phone as I eased out of my clothes. “They offered me the job.”

  Rafael chuckled. “I’m not surprised. Let’s get together Saturday afternoon. I can start teaching you Russian and show you some self-defense moves.”

  I briefly moved the phone from my ear as I slipped a silk camisole over my head. “Are you sure? Maybe you should just spend the day sleeping.”

  “The prince’s flight departs early Saturday morning. I’ll come home and sleep as soon as his plane takes off. Why don’t you plan to come over around four o’clock? We’ll work out for a little bit and grab some dinner afterwards.”

  I yawned as I padded off to the bathroom. “Okay. That sounds good.”

  Rafael yawned on the other end of the phone. “Try to get some sleep, Kri. It’s after two a.m.”

  I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and winced at how wrecked I looked. “I will.”

  “Dream of me.”

  I laughed. “I’ll try. I’ll see you Saturday.”

  “Good-night, my love.”

  I smiled. “Good-night, Rafael.”

  I washed my face and brushed my teeth before crawling back into bed. I had a sinking feeling that I’d caused irreparable damage to my relationship with Kadyn. I wondered if he’d ever speak to me again… if he’d refuse to even be friends. If only I’d known Kadyn’s feelings before Rafael asked me to give him a chance.

  I sighed miserably. Back pedaling was pointless. I’d already agreed to date Rafael, and Kadyn was thoroughly disgusted with me. I picked up my cell phone and typed a quick message to Kadyn. I’m so sorry. I didn’t know. I honestly believed you only wanted to be friends. I never stopped loving you, Kadyn. I wouldn’t have agreed to date Rafael if I had known you felt the same way. I hope you can forgive me in time.

  I tossed the phone onto my nightstand and pulled the pillow over my head. Every time I came close to pulling my life back together, something would blow it all apart. In the past, I’d been able to point the finger at someone else… Tom, Justin, Michael, Emerico Alentisca. Now, the only person I could blame was me.

  Chapter 4 – I won’t give up

  The last two days were a blur, like someone had run his thumb over my life and smudged all the minutes together. Kadyn hadn’t responded to my text. I was convinced he wanted nothing more to do with me. The thought of never seeing him again had left me feeling completely wrecked.

  I beat myself up a million times over my decision to date Rafael. Still, I couldn’t deny that I wanted to date him, and I really enjoyed spending time with him. It was obvious he cared about me, and I cared about him too. But what Kadyn and I had was special. I loved him deeply, and there were so many facets to that love, I couldn’t even name them all. The thought of never seeing him again had left me in excruciating pain when I was kidnapped, and here I was again… wallowing in pain because I might never see him again.

  I gazed out over the Potomac River from a rather shaky standing bow pose on my yoga mat. I was trying to loosen my muscles before I went over to Rafael’s house to lift some weights. It felt weird going over there when he wasn’t home, but he had called a number of times encouraging me to go. I took a deep breath and blew it out as I finished working through my final pose. Then I rolled up the mat, grabbed my keys and bottled water, and walked over to Rafael’s house.

  I eyed his furniture and artwork as I made my way to the gym. Everything was so masculine, mysterious, and a bit dark… but it fit Rafael. I stopped abruptly in front of a picture that hung in the upstairs hallway between his bedroom and the gym. How had I not seen this before?

  The photographer had captured a woman sitting on a park bench. A young black man was holding her hand. He gazed up at her tear stained face while on bended knee.

  The floor tilted. I backed away from the photograph until I hit the rail overlooking the stairs. The woman in the photograph was me… and I would never forget the stranger who sang to me in that park.

  I dropped my yoga mat and slid down the dark wood railing until I was sitting on the floor. Michael had sent Rafael to watch over me when I first moved to DC. Had Rafael seen how sad I was? Had he asked that man to sing to me? My heart beat frantically as I sat there staring at the picture. Just how long has Rafael been in my life?

  I went through the motions with the free weights. I thought about hitting one of the punching bags, but I couldn’t find any gloves that fit me. I was reeling from the photograph and still trying to sort through what it meant. Why had he taken the photograph? Was it intended for Michael, or had Rafael taken the picture for himself? I contemplated texting Rafael but forced myself from the phone. I wanted to see his response in person.

  I returned to my house so I could shower before school. I only had one two-hour class scheduled on Fridays. Still, that class seemed insurmountable given everything that was going on inside my head. Shae had already picked up on my sullen mood. She had been peppering me with questions between classes yesterday. I’d avoided the discussion but only because I’d promised I would talk about it after school tonight.

  We made it through class relatively unscathed… well, as unscathed as you could be when you were forced to mediate in front of the entire class. I was twenty-nine years old, and I still felt like I was standing knock-kneed in front of the junior high cheerleading squad.

  I stopped by the grocery store after class to grab some wine and a couple of other groceries so I could make dinner for Rafael when he returned. Shae had agreed to pick up a large Santa Fe ZPizza before coming over to my house.

  I had barely set my keys down when the doorbell rang. “Hey,” I greeted breathlessly as I swung the front door open.

  Shae smiled. “Do you have any idea how cruel you really are?”

  My jaw dropped. “What? What did I do?”

  Shae huffed out a breath as she joined me in the foyer. “I had to sit in my car and smell this pizza for six blocks. You’re lucky there’s anything left.”

  I laughed. “Did you already eat a piece?”

  “No, but I’m not waiting any longer.” She flung the lid to the pizza box open as we entered the kitchen.

  I reached for the wine opener. “Do you want wine?”

  Shae snorted. “Have we met? Of course I want wine.”

  “Are you okay with a Chianti by Ruffino? It’s really good.”

  Shae grabbed a paper towel as she sank her teeth into the pizza. She climbed onto a stool at the center island. “Sure.”

  I wrenched the cork out of the bottle and filled two glasses with the scarlet wine. I handed Shae a glass before raising mine for a toast. “Budmo.”

  “Bud what?” Shae asked with her glass hanging in mid-air.

  “Budmo. That’s the traditional wine toast in Ukraine. It’s a toast to your health.”

  Shae looked skeptical, but she tapped her glass against mine. “Well, then. Budmo.”

  I took a sip and laughed. “Honestly. I looked it up while I was waiting in the checkout lane at the grocery store. I think we should know the proper wine toast since we’ll be eating out while we’re there. Oh, and just so you know, you can also say za vas, which means ‘here’s to you.’”

  Shae laughed. “Good to know. Now, tell me why you’ve been so down the past few days.”

  I grabbed a piece of pizza and settled into the stool next to Shae. “Well, I broke the news to Kadyn that I got the job. He wasn’t very happy about that. Then I told him that Rafael and I were dating. He got really upset. He said he still loved me, that he still wanted to be with me, but he was trying to give me time to heal from everything that happened with Michael. He was furious that I was dating Rafael. He said Rafael was nothing more than a rebound gu
y and that I was essentially screwing up both of our lives. He stormed out of my house. I texted him to apologize, but he hasn’t texted back. I don’t think he wants anything to do with me, and I’m worried he may never speak to me again.” I choked back a mouthful of pizza as tears pooled in my eyes.

  Shae blew out a long breath. “Wow. I can see why you’d be upset, although I can’t say that I’m terribly surprised. It’s easy to see Kadyn has feelings for you, and the two of you have been through a lot.”

  I sighed. “I know, but Rafael and I have been through a lot too.”

  Shae reached for another piece of pizza. “What if Kadyn decides to speak to you again? What if he asks you to stop dating Rafael and date him instead?”

  I shook my head. “I seriously doubt Kadyn wants to date me again. Not after all this. But, if he did? I don’t know. I love Kadyn deeply, but I also care about Rafael. He’s been a good friend. I don’t doubt that Rafael loves me, and I think I might love him too. I’m just not sure to what extent. My feelings for him don’t compare to Kadyn. Not in any way.”

  Shae nodded. “Well, that’s something you should consider. Kadyn might come back around, and if he does, you’re going to have a very difficult decision to make.”

  I sighed miserably. “I know. I don’t want to hurt anyone, and I have no idea how to choose between the two of them. I know this sounds really messed up and selfish, but they’re both really amazing men. I know I’d be heartbroken if I lost either one of them.” I reached for my wine glass as I finished eating the slice of pizza. “Hey, can I show you something?”

  Shae’s head tilted curiously. “Sure.”

  I took a couple sips of wine. “It’s not here. It’s next door at Rafael’s house.” Shae opened her mouth to say something, but I promptly interrupted. “Don’t worry. He’s not home. He’s working until tomorrow morning.”

  Her eyes widened. “You already have a key to his place?”

  I nodded as we both slid out of our stools. “Take your wine. You’re going to need it.”

  Shae followed me out the front door. “Things seem to be moving pretty fast between you and Rafael.”

  I shrugged. “Yes and no. We’ve known each other for nearly a year now, and we spent a lot of time together in Paris.”