Broken Wings (The Broken Series Book 3)

by Ruff, K. S.

  I glanced at the clock on my nightstand as I tugged a silk camisole and sleep shorts on. It wasn’t even nine o’clock yet. I had ended my date with Kadyn early so I could sift through my feelings. I knew it was time to make a decision, I just didn’t know how to go about doing it.

  I wandered back into the bathroom so I could brush my teeth and run a comb through my hair. I eyed the medicine cabinet, then reached for my bottle of sleeping pills. Maybe this wasn’t the best time to choose. A decision as monumental as this required a clear head... and for that I needed sleep. “Sleep,” I murmured longingly. I slid the tiny pink and blue capsule onto my tongue, reached for a glass of water, and threw my head back.

  * * * * * *

  A warm hand slid soothingly down my back. “Hey, sleepy head, wake up.”

  I tried to open my eyes but couldn’t. “What time is it?” I mumbled.

  I could feel the chuckle riding low in Rafael’s chest as he bent over to kiss my cheek. “It’s one minute after midnight.”

  “No,” I moaned. “I can’t get up. I’m too tired. I took a sleeping pill. I need to sleep.”

  “You can sleep in the SUV,” Rafael murmured in my ear. “Where’s your swimsuit?”

  I tried to point, but my hand wouldn’t move. “Over there,” I mumbled irritably.

  Rafael laughed as he rose from the bed and began digging through my dresser drawers. “I found it and a change of clothes.”

  I opened one eye just as he began stuffing my clothes into a backpack. “Where are we going?”

  He glanced at me before turning toward the bathroom. “To the beach.”

  I groaned. “That’s like three or four hours away from here.”

  Rafael chose to ignore my whining. “I have your toothbrush and deodorant. Do you need anything else? Oh, I know! Sunglasses and sandals.”

  I pulled the pillow over my head. He was entirely too enthusiastic. “Don’t you ever sleep?” I mumbled through the pillow.

  Rafael stood over the side of the bed and laughed. He tossed the top blanket over his shoulder, then scooped me up into his arms. “Come on sleeping beauty. Don’t turn into a pumpkin now.”

  I wrapped my arms around his neck and snuggled into his warm chest. “I think that was Cinderella… and I don’t think she turned into a pumpkin. That was her carriage.”

  Rafael nuzzled the top of my head as he made his way downstairs. He snagged a couple of bottled waters from my refrigerator as we passed through the kitchen. “If you say so.” He carried me down the last flight of stairs and deposited me in the front seat of his Lincoln Navigator, which was parked right outside my garage.

  I smiled as he draped the blanket over me. “Oh. The seat warmers are on. I love seat warmers.”

  Rafael reclined my seat back before shutting the door. He walked around the front of the SUV and folded himself into the driver’s seat. “Good. Maybe it will help you go back to sleep. I don’t know what you were thinking when you took that sleeping pill. I warned you I was coming over at midnight so we could jump start our date.” Rafael pulled out into the street.

  A soft sigh escaped my lips as my eyes closed. My thoughts grew jumbled as sleep beckoned me. I began mumbling. “I couldn’t think… I needed sleep… I have to decide.”

  Rafael reached over and brushed the hair from my face. “Decide what?”

  “Who to choose,” I whispered groggily. Then I drifted back to sleep.

  “Choose me,” Rafael responded softly.

  Then everything fell silent.

  * * * * * *

  I woke to the soothing sound of waves colliding gently against the shore. I held perfectly still so I could study Rafael. He was staring out the front windshield at the darkened beach. “Hey,” I whispered softly.

  He turned and smiled at me. “You woke just in time.” He swung his door open, climbed out of the SUV, and grabbed a bag from the back seat. He made his way to my side of the vehicle, opened my door, and stretched out his hand.

  I glanced down at his hand. “I’m still in my pajamas.”

  He laughed. “We’re the only two people on the beach.”

  I stepped gingerly from the vehicle as I reached for his hand. My feet sank into the sand. I tugged the blanket around my shoulders with my free hand. “It’s still dark outside.”

  Rafael pulled me close as we trudged through the sand. “That’s why we left so early. I thought you’d like to see the sun rise over the ocean.” He picked a spot a few feet from where the waves met the shore. He pulled me into his arms and kissed me before sliding the blanket off my shoulders. “Let’s lay this on the ground. You’re not going to need it now that you have me to keep you warm.”

  We each grabbed an end as we spread the blanket over the sand. I kneeled on the blanket and peered at the dark waves. “You do the most amazing things, Rafael.”

  He smiled as he began digging through the bag. He pulled out a thermos and two travel mugs. “Would you like some coffee?”

  I stared at the thermos, then looked at Rafael. “See! That’s exactly what I’m talking about. Amazing. The fact that you thought to pack coffee at midnight is amazing!”

  Rafael laughed as he kicked his shoes off and joined me on the blanket. He handed me a travel mug. I twisted the lid off and watched as he poured the dark, rich fluid from the thermos into my mug. He filled his own mug, then set the thermos aside. “Come here,” he murmured softly. “I want you tucked right here in my arms when the sun comes up.”

  I climbed between his legs and reclined against his chest. “The water is beginning to glow over there.” I pointed with the hand that was still holding the coffee mug. My other hand was holding Rafael’s arm as it rested across my stomach. “Where are we, anyway?”

  Rafael took a sip of coffee. “We are at Lewes Beach, just up from Rehoboth, Delaware.”

  We grew quiet as we drank our coffee and waited for the sun to appear. The waves were lulling me back to sleep, so I breathed in coffee fumes in the hopes that it would help keep me awake.

  “There it is,” he whispered in my ear.

  I nuzzled my cheek against his as the sun peeked over the ocean. “It’s beautiful,” I breathed. The clouds on the horizon glowed purple and orange while a bright sliver of sun reflected against the waves.

  Rafael kissed my cheek. “I much prefer to watch the sun rise than set. Sunsets make me feel sad, like something just slipped from my fingers. Sunrises seem to beckon new beginnings.”

  I pondered Rafael’s words as I watched the sun ease a little higher. His words felt right. There was hope in a sunrise, the kind of hope that comes with new beginnings. I tightened my hold on his arm as he pulled me snug against his chest. My voice was barely a whisper. “Are you my new beginning?”

  Rafael tugged the coffee mug from my hand and set it in the sand. He slowly turned me in his arms. He grasped my face as he gazed into my eyes. “I am yours as you are mine.”

  I could feel the sun’s rays dance along my skin as Rafael’s lips met mine. His tongue swept through my mouth in a kiss that promised… everything. Something stirred deep inside of me as I relaxed into his arms. Rafael eased me to the ground and fit his body to mine without breaking the kiss. He stretched my arms far above my head, then linked our fingers together.

  I luxuriated in the current running along the seam where our bodies met. His kiss grew more sensual, and my body hummed its approval. His heart beat against my chest as it called to mine. Something shifted between us. My breath caught when I realized what it was. As the sun crept over the horizon, Rafael laid claim to my heart.

  Chapter 6 – All of me

  I glanced up at Kadyn, who had flipped me now for the fourth time. “Okay. I’m done.”

  Kadyn chuckled as he leaned over and reached for my hand. “You don’t want to try flipping me?”

  I eyed him skeptically. “Do you seriously think I can? You weigh like a hundred pounds more than me.”

  Kadyn smiled. “You can overcome the size dif
ference with the right technique. Stand here. I’ll show you.”

  I stood nervously with my back to Kadyn. I glanced over my shoulder as his voice rolled over me. “Okay. The key here is to catch the guy before he gets a grip on you. As soon as you feel him coming for you, turn and step to the side, like this.” Kadyn shifted me slightly. “He’ll be reaching for you. So grab the wrist closest to you and pull down hard, while pushing up on his elbow with your right hand. This will force his head down. His body will follow. If it doesn’t, you’ll end up breaking his arm. As soon as you throw him off balance, you run just like Rafael taught you.”

  My confidence grew as Kadyn and I practiced the move a few more times. “Okay, so what if someone is coming at me from the front?”

  Kadyn smiled. “Actually, that’s much easier. Grab his shirt with both hands. Throw your body back on the ground and kick both feet into his abdomen. He’ll fly right over your head. You really need to use your momentum and his so he clears your body. Otherwise he’ll land right on top of you. The downside is that you are now lying on the ground. You have to get back on your feet and run as quick as you can.”

  I nodded. “Okay.”

  Kadyn’s eyebrows rose. “Do you want to give it a try?”

  “I won’t hurt you?” I asked nervously.

  He laughed. “No. Unlike your attacker, I know what you’re planning, and I know how to roll out of it.”

  I crouched in front of him and smiled. “Okay, tough guy, bring it on.”

  I grabbed Kadyn’s shirt as he came at me. Then I threw myself backwards on the mat. He landed right on top of me, but he braced his weight with his arms so he wouldn’t crush me. “You didn’t get your feet to my stomach fast enough. Next time, bend your knees as you fall, then kick up hard.”

  Kadyn and I ran through the move a few more times. Then I sprawled out, completely exhausted, on the floor. “Okay. Now, I really am done. I hurt too much to do anything more.”

  Kadyn stood and pulled me to my feet. “You didn’t do half bad, Kri. Let’s go get showered and change for work.” He patted me on the bottom as I walked toward the women’s locker room.

  I showered and dressed quickly in the hopes that I could snag a little extra time to talk to Kadyn. I met up with him outside the gym. He was sitting on the curb, texting on his phone. I tossed my gym bag on the sidewalk and joined him on the curb. “Hey. Do you have a few minutes to talk before work?”

  Kadyn looked up from his phone. “Sure. What’s up?”

  I swallowed nervously. I had been dreading this conversation all morning. As many times as I’d run it through my head, I still couldn’t get it to end well. I took a deep breath, then let it all out. “I don’t think I’m cut out to date two men at once.”

  Kadyn turned to face me. “Okay…”

  I sighed miserably as I stared down at my shoes. “I love you, Kadyn, and I don’t want to lose you, but I feel like our timing is off. I agreed to date Rafael before you told me how you felt. I know that I agreed to start dating you too, but every time you kiss me, I feel like I’m cheating on him. It feels wrong.”

  Kadyn’s voice was firm. “But you and I were dating long before you met Rafael.”

  I shook my head. “Up until last week, you and I hadn’t dated for over ten months.” I held up my hand as he attempted to speak. “I know. We stopped dating because Michael kidnapped me, but when I came back, you told me we could only be friends. I have spent months convincing myself that there can’t be anything more between us. Now you’re asking me to believe there can be more, and I’m having a really hard time working through that.”

  Kadyn silently studied me.

  I continued. “I know I let you down when I agreed to marry Michael, and you had every right to be hurt and upset with me. But you rejected me too, Kadyn. Right or wrong, you rejected me. We both abandoned this relationship and settled for just being friends.”

  Kadyn sighed. “I was hurt, and I was trying to do the right thing. You needed time to get over Michael.”

  I reached for his hand. “I know, but I’m not sure either of us is ready to take this relationship further. I think Rafael forced your hand. You jumped back into dating because you don’t want to lose me… and I agreed to start dating you because I don’t want to lose you. Kadyn, I’m not saying we can’t work this out eventually. I’m just saying that now is not the right time for either one of us.”

  Kadyn removed his hand from mine and ran it over his face. He looked defeated. “What do you want, Kri?”

  I turned to face him. “For us? I want things to go back to the way they were two weeks ago. I want to continue spending time with you, but I don’t want to take things any further. Not right now, anyway. I want time to date Rafael exclusively. I told him I would give that relationship a chance, and I can’t really do that if I’m dating you too. You and I have had that opportunity to date exclusively. I know how good things can be between us, but I need to give this relationship with Rafael a fair shake before I decide which relationship is best for me.”

  Kadyn’s jaw clenched. “So you just want me to sit back and wait for you? How long do you expect me to sit on the sidelines, Kri? How long do you expect me to sit idly by while you’re dating, kissing, and sleeping with another man?”

  My heart hurt. I knew what I was about to lose. “I can’t ask you to wait, Kadyn. That wouldn’t be fair.”

  Kadyn stood. Tension rolled off him in waves. “So you’re telling me you’ve already decided… that you’re choosing him.”

  I rose to my feet. My legs shook as a wave of nausea threatened to send me to my knees. “No. What I’m saying is that I need some time to date Rafael exclusively before I choose the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. I don’t expect you to sit on the sidelines and wait for me to figure it all out. I understand if you want to date other people, Kadyn.”

  Kadyn shook his head. He picked up his gym bag and backed toward his car. “If you’re encouraging me to date other people, then you have decided. Just answer me this Kri… Where’s the girl I fell in love with? Where did that girl go?”

  I shook my head as tears slid silently down my cheeks. I knew that girl didn’t exist anymore. She had died a slow and painful death in Paris. I had pieced her back together as best I could, but I knew I would never again be that girl.

  * * * * * *

  I pushed through work and school as best I could. I drove straight home after school, dropped my books in the library, and walked over to Rafael’s place. He didn’t know I was coming over, and he didn’t know about my decision to stop dating Kadyn. I had questioned that decision right up until the moment when I’d told Kadyn we needed to talk, and I hadn’t been certain I could see that conversation through.

  I stood staring at Rafael’s front door. I didn’t even know if he was home from work yet. Should I use the key or ring the doorbell? I slowly reached for the doorbell. I listened for footsteps, but I didn’t hear any. I waited a few more minutes, then turned to walk away.

  The door swung open, startling me. Rafael had a half-eaten piece of pizza in his hand. He was wearing dark gray sweats that hung low on his hips, and he hadn’t bothered to put a shirt on. He eyed me curiously. “Aren’t you supposed to be out with Kadyn?”

  I shook my head as my eyes trailed over the hard lines that formed his chest and abs. My blood heated. “No. I’m not dating Kadyn anymore.”

  His eyebrows shot up in surprise. He stepped back and motioned me inside. “You’re not?”

  I felt suddenly vulnerable as I leaned against the closed door. “No. I told him I want to date you… exclusively.”

  Rafael stilled. “I don’t have to share you anymore? You’re dating only me?”

  “Yes,” I whispered. I waited breathlessly for his reaction.

  Rafael balled up the pizza and tossed it toward a trash bin in his office.

  I laughed when he missed. My heart stalled when he turned to face me.

  His eyes took on a pre
datory look as he closed the distance between us. “This changes everything,” he growled huskily. He pulled me against his chest. Hard. “No more holding back, Kristine. I want everything… every single part of you.”

  My pulse quickened. Fear spiked my blood, but it was tempered by a deep, primal need. I tangled my hands in his hair and tugged his head down until my lips were nestled against his ear. “I want you to own every part of me.”

  Rafael groaned as his body hardened against mine. He hiked my thighs over his hips as he lifted me. Then he turned toward the stairs. “I need you. Now.”

  We never made it to the top of the stairs.

  * * * * * *

  My eyes slowly fluttered open. A soft smile teased at my lips when I realized where I was… although, I couldn’t quite recall how or when we had ended up in Rafael’s bed. Rafael’s arm was tucked behind my back. He held me firmly against his chest. His leg was hooked around mine, and our faces were so close it appeared we might have fallen asleep in the middle of a kiss. The man was determined to have me, even in sleep.

  I studied his face… the golden skin, the hint of whiskers that darkened his masculine jaw, the high cheekbones that balanced his strong nose, and the thick fringe of lashes that shadowed his cheeks. The early morning light softened his rugged features. Sleep made him look surprisingly vulnerable. I ran the back of my fingers across his cheek before gently tucking a strand of hair behind his ear.

  He opened one eye and smiled. “Good morning, love.”

  I burrowed further into his warm chest and breathed deeply, savoring the soothing scents of cedar and cloves. “I really like waking up next to you.”

  He chuckled. “Then we should make it a point to wake up next to each other every morning.”

  I smiled as I shook my head. “I don’t know… I’m finding it difficult to leave your bed, and I need to go to work.”

  He rolled me beneath him as a mischievous look settled over his face. “I’ll call in sick if you will.”