by Ruff, K. S.
Shae and I were hooked up to IVs and wheeled off to radiology for CT scans. Shae had two cracked ribs. My kidney was bruised, my left rotator cuff was torn, and one of my ribs was cracked.
Kadyn was offered a pair of scrubs to replace his blood soaked clothes. He kept me apprised of everything that was happening, but he had to repeat everything multiple times, since I couldn’t register half of what he said. Thankfully, the medication they had given me wore off after a couple of hours.
We were discharged from the hospital six hours later. Kadyn reserved two large suites in a nearby hotel and arranged for transportation before we left the hospital. We were exhausted and numb by the time we checked into the hotel. We transferred Ethan and Brady from their wheelchairs into their beds, then lingered in their room.
Rafael nodded toward the phone that sat on the nightstand between the two beds. “Why don’t you have some food sent up, then try to get some rest? Brogan, Aidan, Chance, and Jase should arrive within the hour.” He looked at Ethan. “Your wife is with them. Call if you need me to let the waiter into your room or if you need help getting to the bathroom. I’ll be right next door.”
Tears pooled in my eyes as I stood staring at Ethan and Brady. “I’m so sorry they hurt you.”
“Why are you apologizing? We’re the ones who were supposed to protect you,” Brady responded teasingly.
I sighed miserably. “You wouldn’t have been hurt if I hadn’t gone to Ukraine.”
Kadyn wrapped his arm around me as he escorted me from the room. “None of us knew you’d be targeted like this.” He swiped the card through the scanner as he opened the door to the second room.
I glanced nervously at Kadyn and Rafael as Shae eyed the two beds. “Will you guys share a bed so I can sleep with Shae?”
Rafael looked disappointed, but he nodded.
Kadyn shook his head. “I’m not so sure Rafael and I are going to fit in one of those beds together. We’re both big guys. I think we’d all sleep better if each of the guys shared a bed with one of the girls, since you two are so much smaller than we are. Besides, it’s not like anything’s going to happen when we’re all sleeping in the same room together.” He glanced at Shae. “I promise I’ll be a perfect gentleman if you bunk with me.”
Rafael looked at Kadyn. “Are you sure?”
Kadyn shrugged. “I’m fine as long as Shae is comfortable sharing a bed with me. Given everything that’s happened today, I think you and Kri should be together. I’m just sorry I couldn’t find a hotel with more than two available suites.”
“I’m fine with it,” Shae replied. “I’m actually glad we’re all sharing a room. I feel safer with the two of you in here, and I really don’t want to be alone right now.”
Rafael glanced at his cell phone. His thumb tapped at the screen as he typed out a text message. “My men have just arrived at the airport. I’m texting them the address to the hotel, so they should be here shortly. They’ll secure the hotel and stand watch outside our doors as we sleep. I don’t think we’re in any danger, but the Russian SVR may very well have agents in Berlin. It’s better to err on the side of safety.”
I sank onto one of the beds as a fresh wave of tears threatened to pull me under. “I don’t understand why they shot Michael in the back if they got the money they were demanding.”
Rafael kneeled in front of me. “I don’t know. Michael texted me from the car to warn me they were having trouble getting the transfer to go through. They were struggling with the Internet connection, but the last text I received from him said the transfer went through. He told me to have the pilot prepare for departure.”
Kadyn sank onto the couch as Shae stepped inside the bathroom. “Maybe something happened to disrupt the transfer after Michael walked away from the car. Is there any way to tell if the transfer went through? Do you have access to that account?”
Rafael folded his right arm across my lap. His left arm, like mine, was in a sling. “I have Michael’s laptop and the financial documents he stored in the briefcase, but he had a number of investment accounts. I don’t know which account he transferred the money from, and I don’t know any of his passwords. Michael’s assistant, Devry, may know the passwords. If he doesn’t, then I’ll have to search for them in Michael’s office when I go to Paris.” Rafael sighed as he laid his head on his arm. “I’m not quite sure I understand the point. Michael is gone. What does it matter if the SVR got their money?”
I ran my fingers through Rafael’s hair as tears streamed down my face. “I’m so sorry,” I whispered brokenly.
Kadyn rose from the couch. “I’m really sorry too, Rafael. I don’t understand why they would shoot Michael.”
Rafael looked up at me through watery eyes. “Maybe that was their plan all along. Maybe they were going to kill all of us after they got their money. That would be the only way they could ensure our silence so the U.S. government wouldn’t take action against them for torturing U.S. citizens.”
Kadyn nodded. “They did tell Markov that the deal was off if we got the government involved.”
Shae stepped out of the bathroom. “If that transfer didn’t go though, they may seek revenge. Do you think we could still be in danger?” she asked nervously.
Kadyn sighed. “If we aren’t targeted for that, then we will be after we go to the U.S. Embassy tomorrow.”
Shae’s eyes widened. “Why do we have to go to the embassy?”
Kadyn opened a large bottle of water that was sitting next to the coffee pot. He poured four glasses, then handed one to Shae. “I’m assuming the SVR still has your passports, since you never got your purses back. You’re going to have a hard time getting into the United States without passports. Frankly, I’m surprised the German government let you off the plane without them.”
Rafael stood. He walked over to the desk where he had left Michael’s briefcase. “Unless Michael secured them when he transferred the money…”
We waited with baited breath as Rafael dug through the briefcase. He slowly pulled two navy blue passports from an interior pocket. He flipped them open. “I should have known Michael would have insisted on these being returned.”
My stomach clenched. I bolted into the bathroom.
Rafael kneeled beside me as I heaved into the toilet. I flinched when he rubbed my back. He stood and warmed a washcloth in the sink, then gently washed my face. He set the washcloth aside and reached for my shirt. “Can I see?”
I shook my head as I tugged my shirt back into place. “I don’t want you to see what they did to me.”
Rafael’s jaw clenched. Then his voice and face softened. “Please.”
I sighed. “It’s just going to make you mad, and I want this to be over. I don’t want you trying to track these people down so you can extract some sort of revenge.” I began trembling as tears spilled down my face. “I’ve already lost Michael. I can’t lose you too.”
Rafael reached for the washcloth and wiped away my tears. Then he stared at me expectantly.
My shoulder’s fell as I silently relented.
He gently removed my arm from the sling. His eyes locked on mine as he slowly lifted my shirt. His eyes didn’t stray until he pulled my shirt over my head and arms. His breath caught.
“Holy shit,” Kadyn exclaimed from the doorway. “What the hell did they do to you?” He turned to face Shae as she joined him in the entrance to the bathroom. “Do you look like that too?”
Tears pooled in her eyes. “I don’t know. I haven’t really looked.”
Rafael motioned her into the bathroom. “Do you mind if we take a look?”
Shae slowly lifted her shirt.
I closed my eyes and rested my head on the toilet. I already knew what Shae looked like. I had seen the bastards beat every single bruise into her body.
Kadyn’s voice was low and menacing. “Someone is going to pay for this.”
Rafael brushed the hair from my face. “I think we should take some pictures to document this, and I think we need to go to t
he embassy first thing in the morning so they can see what the SVR did to you.”
I shook my head.
Rafael’s voice grew firm. “I think you’re less likely to be targeted if we report this to the U.S. authorities because it will reflect poorly on the Russian government if anything further happens to you.”
Shae pulled her shirt back on. “I agree,” she confided as she leaned against the vanity.
Kadyn’s eyes sought mine. “I’m sorry, Kri, but I think we need to get the government involved.”
I reached for my shirt. “So we’ll have to spend the entire day at the embassy tomorrow, reliving the hell we just went through?”
Rafael helped me put my shirt back on. He fit the sling over my arm, then tucked me against his chest. “I’ll be with you the whole time.”
Kadyn nodded. “Rafael and I will be there… for both of you.”
I exhaled loudly. “Fine, but I want to at least take a shower and track down a change of clothes before we go. I’m filthy.”
Shae pushed off from the counter. “Me too.”
Rafael glanced at Shae. “I can have my men pick up some clothes for both of you. Ethan’s wife can help them. Just write down your sizes and a list of things you need.” He looked at Kadyn. “Do you think the cameras on our cell phones are sufficient for documenting the injuries?”
Kadyn nodded. “Yes. I’m sure the embassy will photograph the injuries tomorrow, but I think we should have our own copies, and we should text or e-mail them someplace where they can be stored in case anyone gets ahold of our phones and tries to destroy the evidence.”
Rafael glanced at Shae before focusing his attention on me. “I’m sorry, but you shouldn’t take a shower if you were sexually assaulted. It could destroy the evidence,” he noted apologetically.
Shae diverted her eyes to the floor. “I don’t know how much evidence a stun gun leaves when it’s pressed to your vagina. That’s the only thing we were sexually assaulted with. They didn’t rape us… at least not with any body parts.”
All of the air rushed from Kadyn’s lungs as he slid down the wall. He raked his hand over his head, then squeezed his eyes closed. He didn’t speak.
Rafael’s eyes hardened, then pooled with tears. “I’m with Kadyn. Someone’s going to pay for this.”
* * * * * *
We spent the entire day at the embassy. Shae and I met with an endless stream of people who interviewed us over and over again. We were asked to strip down completely as a female employee from the American Citizen Services Unit documented our injuries. We both signed medical releases so they could access our CT results from the hospital.
Kadyn and Jase took Shae out to dinner so Rafael and I could have some time alone. With all the time we’d spent at the hospital and the embassy, we hadn’t had much time to talk. Neither of us were up for going out, so we ordered room service and picked at a tray of food while sitting in bed. I sat facing Rafael. He was sitting up against the headboard. “Will you ever be able to forgive me?” I asked, feigning interest in my sandwich.
Rafael shoved the tray aside and pulled me onto his lap. “For what?”
I ran my right hand over his chest until I found his heartbeat. “For everything. For going to Ukraine when you warned me about the danger… for getting mixed up with the mafia… for allowing Maxim to kiss me… and… and… for causing Michael’s death.”
Rafael sighed. “There is nothing to forgive. You had good intentions when you went to Ukraine. You chose to do this because you wanted to help others, Kristine. You got mixed up with the mafia because you had no other choice. I’m not thrilled about what transpired between you and Maxim, especially after seeing the way he kissed you, but imagine where we’d be if he hadn’t taken an interest in you. I don’t know that anyone else would have been able to secure your release from the SVR, and they seemed hell bent on torturing you.”
I looked away as my eyes filled with tears. “I’m sorry I woke everyone up last night. I think part of me is still in Ukraine being tortured by the SVR.” I shuddered.
Rafael’s eyes filled with pity. His thumbs gently swiped the tears from my face. “And I thought your nightmares were bad before…”
I leaned my head against his chest as my thoughts returned to Michael. “My heart hurts.”
Rafael sifted his fingers through my hair. “Mine too. I can’t believe Michael is being cremated today.”
I tried to speak around the lump in my throat as I sat up to look at him. “Have you thought about what you want to do with… his remains?” I choked on the last two words.
Rafael nodded. “I was thinking we could spread his ashes in Saint-Tropez. He loved that place, and I know he always felt at peace when he was there.”
I nodded my agreement as I tucked a strand of hair behind Rafael’s ear.
Rafael reached for my hand. “I need to take care of a few things in Paris first. I was hoping you would come with me.”
I sighed. I had been hoping to avoid the house in Paris and all the memories it was sure to evoke, but I couldn’t bear the thought of Rafael facing that alone. “I’d like to go with you,” I responded softly.
Rafael looked thoughtful. “Was Shae able to reach Sammi? Did they make it home okay?”
I pulled the toothpick out of my sandwich and removed the bread so I could pick at the bacon. “Shae called Sammi when you were next door with Ethan and Brady. Apparently, they went to the embassy in Kiev when Maxim’s men told them we were missing. They stayed in Kiev until Maxim confirmed you had gotten us out of Sevastopol. Then they flew back to DC. I feel bad that they didn’t get to teach at that second university, but everyone agreed it was too dangerous for them to stay.”
He nodded. “I heard from Maxim earlier. He wanted to make sure we arrived okay. He had a message for Shae.”
I glanced up in surprise. “Oh?”
Rafael smiled. “He wanted me to let Shae know that Konstantin is okay. He finally regained consciousness and was asking for her. He left me a phone number so Shae can call him.”
My eyes widened. “Konstantin survived too?”
Rafael nodded. “His legs were broken, just like Ethan and Brady’s, and he took a nasty hit to the head, but he’s going to be okay.”
I breathed a small sigh of relief. “Thank God.”
Rafael lifted my hand. He studied the ring Maxim had given me. “Do I have to worry about Maxim coming for you?”
I glanced at the ring before looking into Rafael’s eyes. “No. I don’t think so. He admitted he has feelings for me. He wanted me to take the job with the ministry of foreign affairs and move to Ukraine, but that was before the SVR kidnapped me. When he said goodbye at the airport, he said he didn’t want me coming back to Ukraine. He said I didn’t belong there.”
Rafael looked relieved. “I didn’t realize how much he cared for you until he told Michael he understood why he let you go.”
I glanced back down at the ring. “He didn’t think our relationship would work out because of everything that happened between Michael and me. I was worried Michael would talk you out of it, that you wouldn’t want to be with me after you talked to him.”
Rafael gently lifted my chin. “Michael wasn’t happy with my decision to become involved with you. We found out you were missing when we were in the middle of that conversation. I think Michael realized then that you were no safer apart than you were with him. I think he came to Sevastopol hoping to make amends. I think Michael wanted to work things out with you. He told me he wanted to take you back to Paris when you were released.”
My eyes filled with tears. “I still love him. I can feel this gaping hole in my heart where Michael used to be. I don’t know that I will ever get that back. I think he will always have that piece of me.” I tucked my head under Rafael’s chin as I began to cry.
Rafael rubbed my back until my tears subsided. “I know you still love him. I will always love him too.”
I pushed off of Rafael’s chest so I
could look into his eyes. “I love you too, Rafael. Just because I love Michael doesn’t mean I can’t love you too.”
Rafael set the tray of uneaten food on the nightstand. He pulled the covers down so we could slip into bed. He burrowed into my neck as he curled around me. “I love you too, baby.”
* * * * * *
Rafael’s security team flew back to DC with Kadyn and Shae. I didn’t envy Ethan and Brady that long flight, especially given the casts on their legs. Thankfully, they were able to secure seats in first class. I had a difficult time saying goodbye to Kadyn and Shae, but I knew my place was with Rafael. There was no way I was going to let him bury his brother alone. Michael’s pilot flew us to Paris shortly after the flight to DC departed.
Rafael and I were standing outside Michael’s house two hours later. The house shimmered through my tears. I clutched Michael’s urn to my chest. “How do we do this?” I whispered brokenly.
Rafael wrapped his arm around my back. “One step at a time.”
I placed my foot on the first step and was transported back in time… to the very first time I had walked these stairs… when the butler hung suspended between the house and the car, anxious to assist but too uncertain to proceed. A time when Michael had been so determined to make me fall in love with him… this life… this house. We trudged up a couple more stairs, and I saw Michael whisking me away… to the Musée Rodin… the Champs-Élysées… the Tuileries Garden… Giverny… our favorite café… and the Palais Garnier. A few more stairs and memories of embassy staff and trips to the hospital tore at my heart.
The butler opened the door just as we reached the top stair. His eyes were rimmed in red. He reached for Rafael’s hand, then pulled him in for a hug. His eyes filled with tears as he reached for me. He gave me a hug before offering to take the urn.
I smiled shakily, but I shook my head. I tightened my hold on the urn as we walked inside the house.
Rafael turned to face me just outside the office. “I need to talk to Devry and take care of a few things in here. Where would you prefer to wait?”
I stared at the beautiful foyer, the gleaming floors, and the grand piano. Everything looked the same. “I would like to walk around for a bit, if that’s okay.”