When You Fall...

by Robinson, Ruthie

  Thank God it was Friday, Carter thought to herself, which meant absolutely nothing on the ranch. Work still had to be done; horses were still in need of feeding. But today she’d decided to tackle a labor of love; the round pens, or what was left of them. Her great-grandfather had used them for training, and she’d been giving some thought to training, too.

  Wielding a heavy-duty, extra-long mallet, she headed out to tear down the old fencing and start from scratch. Today was destroy day.

  Tomorrow she would return to town and pick up enough supplies to build herself a new one pen—two new ones, if she was feeling optimistic, which she still was. She hoped to get the chance to work with Grey and Augustus soon, although she had no clue what she would do with them. Maybe just have them run in circles around the pen, following her. So what. As long as she and those horses were in the same round pen, life was better than good.

  She heard Grey neigh. He was a great guy, even-tempered, patient. She spotted him outside in paddock number one, eating contently, while Augustus remained inside the stables, not quite up to getting out yet, but steadily putting on weight. He was a good guy, too, even-tempered like Grey.

  She’d been giving serious consideration to asking her dad if she could act as the permanent property manager for the family. She was here anyway, knew as much if not more about this place, and they wouldn’t have to pay her. She would do it for free.

  She turned to look over Rafael’s property, a place where her eyes wanted to roam frequently. He was walking toward his truck when he caught sight of her and waved. She waved back. All we do now is wave to each other, she thought.

  She took her mallet and hit the fence hard, knocking away years of decay. She smiled, looked over at Rafael who was now in his truck and pulling out of the drive, and hit the fencing again.

  She hoped she hadn’t ruined something important. She knew he wasn’t sure about her sanity when she’d arrived, but he’d helped her anyway. She had come to value his friendship and hoped she hadn’t messed it up, with her Mr. Bentley Now act.

  #

  Friday evening

  Later on that evening, Carter left the barn, headed to house. She was less sore these days. She was getting used to the life on a farm. She was getting stronger. Maybe there was hope.

  She saw a car pull into her drive, recognized it as friend, not foe, increasing her stride to meet it, with a sudden surge of energy. Her girlfriends were here, apparently ignoring her texts insisting that she was okay. They were here to check her out for themselves.

  She almost started to cry again, looking at them, knowing what they’d had to do to get here. Gwen and Sandra had husbands and children—young children, which meant sitters and planning and expenses. Frankie was childless. She loved those three.

  They spilled out of Frankie’s SUV, hands laden with grocery bags. Frankie held two bottles of wine in her hand and another tucked under her arm. She had a we-are-about-to-get-fucked-up look on her face.

  “Hey,” Carter said, smiling, stopping next to them.

  “Well, if it isn’t Ellie Mae Clampett,” Sandra said, laughing, glancing at Carter’s dirty jeans and t-shirt.

  “All you need are some overalls and straw coming out of your hair and your outfit would be complete.”

  “What are you all doing here?” she said, smiling with pleasure, used to their ribbing.

  “Wanted to see you for ourselves, make sure you were okay. It’s been two weeks,” Frankie said, smiling.

  “I miss you all. I’m so glad you didn’t pay attention to my texts telling you not to come,” Carter said.

  “Why would we start paying attention to you now?” Gwen replied. They all laughed as they made their way inside.

  Carter cooked burgers for them while she brought them up-to-date on everything: the horses, her run-in with her neighbor—the pepper spray fiasco—and later, her family with their intervention.

  “When are you coming home?” Gwen asked when she was finished.

  “I’m not. I’m staying here for a while. We’ve lost our property manager so I’m going to fill in until we find another one and put the place up to sell,” she said.

  “Nothing is that drastic. I know your folks get on your nerves, and the YouTube video in front of the church didn’t help, but you don’t have to check out of life.”

  “I’m not checking out.”

  “I thought you didn’t want to sell?” Frankie asked.

  “I don’t, but it doesn’t look like I can prevent it. I would be the only one of five not on board.”

  “And your family always pushes you around,” Sandra said.

  “Not always.”

  “Sure Carter. Got to stop trying to please your father. Try to please you for a change,” Gwen said.

  “Let’s talk about it later. I’ve had enough talking about me for a lifetime. What’s going on with you all? How are my two favorite twins doing?” she asked, looking at Gwen.

  They allowed her to change the subject and spent the next hour or so bringing her up-to-date with their lives. They’d gone through several wine bottles—everyone except Frankie, who agreed on the drive down to be the designated driver.

  Around ten, the doorbell rang. Carter stood up.

  “Is it safe to answer that?” Frankie asked, looking through the kitchen window at the darkness outside.

  “I don’t know how you do it. What happened to street lights? I can’t believe you’re out here by yourself. It’s too dark for me,” Sandra said, standing up and following Carter to the front door. “And what are you hiding?” she asked, coming up behind Carter, who was holding the door partially opened.

  “Oh, it’s just my neighbor,” Carter said. Sandra walked over and laid her head on Carter’s shoulder while she gave Rafael the once over.

  “Oh, he’s a cutie,” she said, in her slightly buzzed state. She reached around Carter for Rafael’s hand and pulled him into the house. He came easily, smiling that slow and sexy smile, his hair in its natural wavy and windblown state on his head, falling over his forehead, a little into his eyes.

  “Look what I found,” Sandra said, pulling him along behind her into the kitchen where Gwen sat next to Frankie. Carter laughed at the looks on their faces as they got a load of Rafael.

  “Oh, you’re cute,” Gwen said, standing up, making her way around the table, ending up at Rafael’s other side.

  “He’s Carter’s neighbor,” Sandra said as she put her arm around his waist. She placed her other hand under his chin and gave it a squeeze.

  “You’re gorgeous, yes, you are,” Sandra said, moving his head side to side with her hand, his chin locked between her fingers, like she was talking to one of her two-year-old twins.

  Rafael laughed, smiled that beautiful smile again—so white against the brown of his skin—and all three of them sighed. Carter felt their sighs, but she had already taken advantage of him, and knew he was truly sigh-worthy. But with her knowledge of Danielle and Charlie, she was keeping it cool.

  “So, are you married? ‘Cause our girl Carter is looking for a man, as she is always so quick to point out,” Frankie said.

  “Was looking for a man, and thanks for pointing that out to him, but he already knows. I’m not looking any more,” Carter said, pulling Rafael’s hand from Sandra.

  “Since when?” Gwen asked.

  “Since now,” she said, making a face.

  “Rafael owns the farm next door to us.”

  “I like that name, it sounds so sexy. Bet you can be sexy, too,” Sandra said.

  “And on that note, thanks for stopping by,” Carter said over her shoulder, as she led Rafael back to the front door. When he was safely on the other side, she shook her head and laughed.

  “Did you need something?” she asked, playing it cool, like he hadn’t been in her body a few nights before.

  “Danielle told me you stopped by. It’s been a busy week, and I couldn’t talk to you around Charlie. Did you need anything?” he asked.

>   “No, I was stopping by to say thanks for… for the other night, for making me feel better,” she said, serious at the end.

  “You’re welcome. How are your horses?”

  “Fine. Getting better. I’d better get back. My friends drove down to see me, to make sure I was okay and not killing myself.”

  “The ones from the wedding. Good friends, those three,” he said.

  “Yes, they are. And speaking of friends, we’re still friends, you and I?” she asked.

  “Sure. Why would you think otherwise?”

  “I enjoyed the other night,” she said, smiling.

  “Me, too. No. We’re good. I like you, Carter.”

  “I like you, too,” she said.

  “What are you doing out here, Carter?” Sandra asked, opening the door wide. Sandra was now at her side, her head resting against Carter’s shoulder again. “You come back now and play with our Carter,” she said and giggled.

  Carter rolled her eyes. “See you later,” she said, closing the door firmly this time.

  Rafael heard “G..u..r..l,” before the door completely closed. He smiled, shook his head and chuckled as he walked back to his truck.

  “Okay, I changed my mind. I agree with you, completely—one hundred percent agree with you. You need to stay here. Don’t come back to town. Stay out here, more specifically, get him to stay here with you. Screw him until you can’t see straight,” Frankie said, once Carter and Sandra were back in the kitchen.

  “Hey, you two can farm together,” she added.

  “He really is a farmer?” Gwen asked.

  “Yes, as far as I know, although we been too busy doing other things to talk about farming,” Carter said, before she presented them a full smile.

  “Oh,” Frankie squealed, “Give it up! Was he as good as he looks?”

  “Better. You wouldn’t believe the things that man can do,” Carter said, “And I deserved him, after all I put myself through,” she said and sat down, then proceeded to give them all the dirty details.

  “You go girl. It’s about damn time, too,” Frankie said a few minutes later.

  “It was one time only. I’m done looking for men, my sisters and Gloria not withstanding. I’m done,” she said.

  “That’s just hurt talking,” Sandra said.

  “It may be, but I’m still done.”

  “Have you seen your video lately?” Gwen asked, changing the subject, looking at Carter. She stood up and walked over to where they’d dropped their purses when they entered.

  “I have, but not since before I’d gotten fired,” Carter said.

  “There’s been a few more since then. You up for seeing them?” Gwen asked.

  “I am, thanks to my good friends and their good bottles of vino.”

  “Good, cause I want to watch them. Some of them are really entertaining, and I’m always amazed at what people are willing to put out there for all the world to see.”

  “Ain’t that the truth. There are no limits anymore. Just put your stuff out there, even if it’s something that’s best kept to yourself.” Sandra added.

  Gwen pulled up the videos and they watched, making fun of the copycats. Carter even responded to some of the comments left on her Facebook page, finding strength in fighting back, even if she didn’t know those people.

  Frankie glanced around the group, her eyes landing on Carter. They had been seriously worried about her. They’d gotten down here as fast as their schedules permitted, ignoring all of Carter’s I’m okays. Whew… she could let go of some of her worries regarding Carter now that she was here.

  Carter seemed calm, restful even, for the first time in a long time. They’d been worried about her, even long before the attempted break-up of Bentley’s wedding.

  How to describe their friend? Well, she was restless, a bit of a dreamer, and in constant competition with those stepsisters of hers, all for the love of her dad. Daddy Woodson was overrated as far as Frankie was concerned.

  Frankie wasn’t totally surprised that Carter had wound up attempting to break up Bentley’s wedding. He was the only man that seemed to accept Carter the Cowgirl, and who knew if another one of those would come along again.

  This evening, however, Carter had surprised them all. And if she’d gotten some from that Latino lover, all the better. She hoped Carter would finally figure out what she wanted to do with her life, maybe even find a man she loved, and not because it was some requirement—something that met her father’s definition of success and acceptance—but because her heart had led her to it.

  Frankie was gay, had found her life’s partner and had a hard time understanding Carter’s unrelenting quest for affection and this desire to fit in. But she’d come from different parents; ones that were not so consumed with being whatever, to whomever.

  And she hadn’t lost her mother and been left with Mr. Woodson, Carter’s dad—the African American model of perfection for a father, either. Sometimes African Americans were harder on themselves and each other than anyone else could be. There is only one way to be black, don’t you know?

  Her parents had only wanted their daughter to be happy and loved her without conditions. And what a gift that had been.

  #

  Friday night around midnight

  “You all can stay, spend the night. There’s plenty of room,” Carter said.

  “Nope. Got kids’ games in the morning,” Sandra said, kissing Carter as they loaded up their bags and purses.

  She hugged them, watching as they piled into Frankie’s car. It was almost midnight. She waved as they pulled away. She did and would continue to miss them, chuckling again at their reactions to Rafael.

  #

  Ten

  The house phone was ringing again as Carter entered the house, returning from her early morning stall cleaning and feeding of the animals. Should she answer? Madison was the only person that called her on that thing. She walked into the living room and picked it up.

  “Hello?”

  “Hi Carter. Dad and I discussed you last night,” Madison said.

  “Really?”

  “Really. It was my suggestion to use you as the new property manager. I mean, what’s wrong with you? You know the ranch. You grew up there, and you’re free. So why pay someone, right?”

  “I was thinking the same thing,” Carter said, starting to feel a little excitement at Madison’s words. If her father had a favorite, it was Madison. He might listen to her. Of course, he didn’t play favorites. He’d told her that when she in anger, had posed that question to him.

  “Well, after listening to him, I realized that he has a point. It wouldn’t be good for you to stay out there. You can’t hide out forever. You do need to find yourself a job,” Madison continued, bringing Carter’s hopes to a crashing halt.

  “Is there a reason for this call?”

  “So touchy. What’s up with you?”

  “I was on my way to breakfast,” she said.

  “Nope. Just passing on my conversation with dad. Heard Savannah has got you set for July. I’m working on mine. Anyway, bye for now,” she said and hung up.

  #

  “Hi Dad,” Carter said into her cell phone later that day.

  “Carter, I haven’t been able to track down the old property manager or the real estate firm that hired him. I’ve called several times, on the different numbers he’d left, but nothing. I’ve left several messages and haven’t received a returned call, which is no way to manage a business. Has he turned up there yet?”

  “No.”

  “This is what we’ll do, then. I’ve already started to locate another real estate company. I’ll find someone to come and finish what you’ve started, to oversee both the repairs and the subsequent sale. I’ve set up some interviews for the end of the week with a few potential applicants. Losing the property manager may turn out to work in our favor. If he was as bad as you say, and living in the house, then we don’t have the hassle of getting rid of him.”

  “D
ad, you don’t need to hire anyone. I was going to call you and tell you that I could do the work. I can finish the repairs, hire out for the things I can’t do,” she said. It had grown quiet on her father’s end. Not a good sign, but she pushed on anyway.

  “I’ve given some serious thought to living out here for a while, too, so it makes sense for me to become the property manager for us, free of charge.” It was still quiet on the other end. She pressed on.

  “I’m already here. I’ve been cleaning up. You saw yourself how it looked. You hadn’t seen the before picture, but believe me, it was like watching an episode of Hoarders. Plus, I’m more familiar with the ranch than any person you could hire. I’ve seen it at its best. I’ve already made a tour of the land, repaired the fencing, had all that old junk dumped on our property removed, and cut the grass. I can do this,” she pleaded into the silence.

  “I appreciate the offer, Carter. Really, I do,” he said, softening his voice, trying not to hurt her feelings. It was a rare moment for him, for sure. He must have thought she was close to the edge.

  “But I’d prefer to have a real estate company with management experience and the resources to handle this. It would be better for everyone, I think. You are too close to the land; it means too much to you. And we also wouldn’t want to interfere with your future job search, now would we?” he asked, pausing before he added, “You can’t hide out forever.”

  “I’m not hiding out,” she said.

  “Then it would be good for all parties concerned to have an objective third party handle this sale. I’ll be in touch. Goodbye, Carter.”

  “Goodbye, Dad.”

  #

  Saturday afternoon

  Rafael pulled into his parent’s driveway. He tried to stop by often when he was in Austin, which was at least three or four times a week. His dad’s truck was parked in the front drive, next to his mother’s. Another smaller Jeep sat in the drive. He didn’t recognize it as belonging to any of his brothers or their wives.

  His dad had called and asked him to stop by around lunchtime. He planned to tackle putting on a new roof next week and wanted advice. Since Rafael had done some roofing during his summers, he could help.