“More than half of our LGBTQ group is graduating today,” Wynn explains Kade’s odd mood. “He had to remove us from the group last night– Miriam Ross demanded it. He’ll be getting a fresh crop come fall, though.”
Making a dying sound, Bren darts from the room. Hayden is licking at his heels, but gets cut off by a closing door.
“Have you figured out what’s up with him yet?” I’ve had Wynn on Bren duty all week. I’ve lowered my standards by asking him to use sexual favors on Kade to get the details.
“No,” Wynn pouts. “Kade tricked me three times in a row, saying he’d tell me afterward.” He manages to blush and look flabbergasted at the same time. “All I can figure, Franny moving away this afternoon is hitting Bren harder than I expected.”
“They have been friends since the sandbox.” I can hear Bren being upset in his bedroom while Hayden keeps knocking and asking if he’s okay. It’s tearing my heart out. “Today should be a happy day.”
“I’m happy!” Wynn says with a big, genuine grin. “I’d be happier if Bren and Kade weren’t being buzzkills.” He shrugs. “There is so much to be thankful for. I almost didn’t get to experience today. So I’ma take whatever I can get. It’s why I was okay with rooming at school.”
“Believe it or not, that was Kade’s idea.” I didn’t want to let Wynn go, but Kade convinced me otherwise. It was the first selfless act on Kade’s part I’ve witnessed. It was so noble it made me forget all the selfish ones.
“Ready?” Now it’s my turn to get emotional. “I can’t believe this day has arrived.” I clasp Wynn on the shoulder. “You’re officially a grown man. Dammit!”
“I’m as ready as I’ll ever be.” Wynn is radiating excitement, practically vibrating out of his skin. “Let’s get this show on the road.” He walks out into the hallway, movements playful, almost dancing. Cupping his hands around his mouth, “Royce said I’m a grown man now!” he bellows down the staircase. “Ya know what that means, ya old, ornery bastard?”
Kade’s insane laughter bubbles up from downstairs. “Wrong graduation, ya little shit.”
“Nice try, son.” I slap a disappointed Wynn on the back, and then jog down the steps. “Drag your brother out of his depression chamber… I mean his bedroom.”
Kade’s leaning against the front door, laughing silently with an evil smirk twisting his lips. “I ought to make Wynn wait. I’m the epitome of patient. I only let Warren win the grand because I couldn’t take it anymore, but I could’ve if I tried.”
“Don’t play games,” I warn Kade, and his face transforms from amused to serious. “It’ll happen when it happens. It doesn’t have to be a special date or time, or the perfect setup or setting. You could just be sitting around doing nothing with Wynn, and you’ll just know. It’ll be perfect because you love each other.”
“You’re such a sap.” Kade ribs me, but he’s blushing. “There was no way your time with…” He makes a whistling sound while pointing up above. “Was perfect.”
Laughing uncomfortably, I rub the back of my neck. “It was, though. Even with why we were doing it. She chased the hell out of me, had these innocent seduction skills. So when it happened, it was pure fucking chaos, and I needed that in my life. Still do.”
“Still need what?” Wynn asks as he hops down the stairs two at a time, with an entourage trailing behind him.
“Balance,” I answer with all honesty. “Surreal. My first born is a grown man today, and I was blessed to have Kade and Wynn as well.” My eyes widen in amazement. “I’ll need Dr. Cassidy to talk me down the day Hayden and Hayley graduate. Dammit!”
“I’ll keep your shit together. Promise.” Willa takes my breath away. Every day she’s a new version of herself– a better version –and I’ve loved each and every one of them. I’ll never be bored, that’s for damn sure.
Dressed in an innocent, white sundress, miles of tanned, healthy skin and long, flowing hair, I have to blink to make sure Willa’s real. She steps to the side, showing off her mini-me, and a sharp bark of laughter is yanked from my chest.
“Baby girl, what’d you do?” I put my hand over my mouth, containing my laughter.
“It’s a Kennedy tradition,” Hayley says in her girly voice, shifting side-to-side on her feet while twisting her fingers in the hem of her frilly dress.
All the Kennedy kids are sporting a summer buzz cut. I did Bren, Bren did Hayden, and they both took turns at my noggin with the clippers. But Hayley? Hayley no longer has a fauxhawk; she has the real goddamned thing. “Well, gotta say, you do a mohawk justice.”
“It’s time!” Wynn shouts, tugging at everyone he can reach. “I want my fake diploma. I wanna give my speech. I want to be done with high school. C’mon!” He shakes Bren silly, finally knocking a bit of the melancholy off of him. “I’m the first Gillette to graduate high school and get into college, and I earned my own way!”
Enthusiasm contagious, “Let’s put Wynn outta his misery.” Kade’s words are sarcastic, but he looks more excited for Wynn than Wynn is for himself. “Bren?”
“Yeah?” My normally happy boy is the most miserable sonofabitch I’ve ever seen. If his head hangs any lower, it’ll be dragging on the floor.
“Put your troubles in your back pocket.” Kade wraps an arm around Bren’s shoulders, herding him out the front door. I feel a tinge of jealousy that my son won’t come to me, but not as much as the relief I feel that they have each other. Donny and I were like that for each other forever and a day ago, and every man needs a brother. “You can take your troubles back out tonight and suffer with ‘em. You’ve worked for twelve years for this. There are no do-overs. Enjoy yourself today.”
Wynn flashes Willa and me a look that screams ‘see how awesome Kaden is?’ “God, my baby brother reminds me of a puppy. I give him two semesters before his ass is back in Rusty Knob.”
“Thanksgiving break,” I counter. “Winner gets to pick which bedroom we’ll use.” I hedge my bets with a passive-aggressive way of asking Willa to share my bed from now on.
The Gillette in Willa can’t pass up a challenge. She stabs me in the chest with her fingertip. “You’ve got yourself a bet, mister.” Then runs the tip of her finger up my neck, and turns back into slap-happy Willa to seal the deal.
Graduation
“I haven’t been back in this dump since they fired my ass,” Kade grumbles underneath his breath as he wiggles his large behind to fit into the auditorium seat.
Our group is crowded into the third row– it’s a packed house. All three schools in the district are bang, bang, bang. One graduation right after the other today. We’re second up, having the afternoon. I feel bad for the folks who have to go to all three.
“Your fault,” Willa says every time Kade brings up how he was fired for not keeping it in his pants for a few more months. “You got what you wanted, so quit your complaining.”
Warren stretches his arm across several seats to high-five his sister. “Glad you’ve got the balls to say it for me. I didn’t want to ruin our friendship.”
“Are you shitting me?” Kade glares at Warren. “You say it all the time… gimme the kid.” He takes Copper even though Warren doesn’t want to let him go. “At least this little feller still loves me.”
“Ba-by,” Hayley whispers, face going soft. She offers her finger as a temporary rattle. “I want more cousins. Can’t wait ‘til Copper’s bigger so I can boss him around.”
“What about you?” I turn to Hayden, nudging to get his attention. He wanted the aisle seat so he could see around the bald guy in front of us. “How do you feel about babies?” He just shrugs, not impressed. “Yeah, I didn’t care for ‘em until I had my own.”
Miriam enters the stage, walks up to the podium, and taps on the mic. Kade stiffens. “Am I having a PTSD flashback?” Willa issues a taunting laugh, and Warren echoes her. Poor Kade.
“Welcome friends and family of Rusty Knob’s class of 2015!” Miriam shouts into the mic amongst a chorus of cheers.
“This is even more generic than when I graduated,” Kade whispers loud enough to be heard from four rows away, meaning Miriam heard. “Wynn and Bren are gonna shit a brick when they graduate college. I went from forty-seven in my high school graduating class to over six thousand when I graduated from Penn State. It was a whole ‘nother world.”
Willa sinks lower in her seat, and I can read her like an open book. I twine her fingers with mine, and then press the back of her hand to my lips. I keep her hand in my lap, trying to comfort her.
“I…”
I whisper in Willa’s ear to soothe her. “Our children will have a life we never got to lead. Neither one of us graduated from high school, but look where we’re sitting today. You’re still a young woman. You can do whatever you want, and I will support you.”
“It’s like with learning to drive when I should have already had my license for years. There is nothing to be proud of when I should have already done it.”
“Look at Warren,” I gesture with my chin. “If that ain’t pride shining through, then I don’t know what it is.” Warren’s face lights up the entire auditorium when Penny walks onto the stage with Wynn right behind her. Two kids later, Bren is ambling forward.
“Look at your momma and Uncle Winnie the Pooh,” Kade imitates Penny, making Copper’s little, chubby hand wave to the stage. “There’s Jack! Look at that bratty Bren scowling at us. He’s a dimby-wit. Oh, here comes Francis. He’s so silly. He’s gonna get his ass lynched.”
The auditorium goes dead silent for a heartbeat, and then erupts into pure chaos. Francis Parker walks onto stage to take a seat, wearing a rainbow graduation gown instead of the red they were given. Seated, Franny tips his head down, allowing the top of his cap to show a message.
F. U. R. K.
With a satisfied smirk stretching his lips, Francis challenges the town.
“Just like Josh Truman.” Kade reminds us of the kid who outed half of their group, including the superintendent’s son, was bullied but fought back by calling them all out, and then left for Rhode Island. “Only Franny was smart enough to book a flight out of here before the dust settles.”
With the patience of a saint, Miriam waits for the crowd to die down as the last of the students take their seats. “Well, that was out of the ordinary.” She raises an eyebrow at Kaden, recognizing his signature written all over Franny. “Our very own Wynn Gillette has prepared a speech for us today. Rusty Knob’s valedictorian, 2015 Basketball State Champion, and recipient of a basketball scholarship to West Virginia University.” Miriam gestures to the podium, and then takes a seat on stage.
“My God, Wynn’s glowing like a supernova.” Mesmerized, Kade’s pupils are blown. “I will not be held accountable for my actions after graduation.”
Striding across the stage like he owns the place, Wynn turns on a dime to face the auditorium with a huge grin stretching across his face. He clears his throat twice, lifts his index cards, and memorizes a few lines. His lips twist into an expression I’ve never seen grace my son’s face before. A warped mix of excitement and fury, tarnishing what should have been a proud moment.
“I prepared a speech for today,” Wynn begins in a defiant tone. “It was going to be poignant, proving how eloquent of a speaker I am after growing up in the hollers. I was going to hit on how isolation breeds ignorance, not a lack of intelligence. I was going to put a voice to my struggles, being the youngest of poor white, abusive, drunk trash. How I was adopted at seventeen. How through all of that, I maintained a high GPA and led our basketball team to victory.”
Wynn raises the cards in his hands, and tears them down the center while wearing a rebellious smirk– the microphone picks up the audible ripping sound, causing it to echo around the auditorium. Speech fluttering to the ground, he releases all of the pent-up rage he’s held on to for far too long.
Hands gripping the edge of the podium, Wynn leans into the microphone with eyes blazing fury. “I agree with Francis Parker. Fuck you, Rusty Knob!” Slowly enunciating, words quiet, they hit their intended targets like ammunition fired from a gun. “Fuck! You!”
Deafening silence rings throughout the auditorium, and I have no idea where Wynn is leading with this, and no one else does either. I crank my head around wildly, trying to gauge the reaction from the crowd.
“Rusty Knob?” Wynn cups a hand to his ear. “Can you hear me now? You’ve been mighty deaf lately. For the past seven months, I’ve either been called a faggot or patted on the back for being courageous. Both reactions were insulting– both insinuating something is wrong with me. Whether we’re at fault or not, it doesn’t change the fact that this school fired my boyfriend because we’re gay. So fuck you!”
Kade leans forward, releasing a noise I hope to never hear again. I yank the idiot back by the collar before he crawls on stage.
“But I owe you a thank you,” Wynn circles back, finally having our undivided attention. “Thank you for the education, for allowing me to make the most of it. I hope your eyes and ears are now open to the sources of education all around you. I’m no longer ignorant, so thank you.”
Wynn reclaims his seat while whispers roll through the auditorium, all versions of ‘what the fuck was that?’ Miriam has everything under control. Whatever speeches and events planned for the ceremony are cut in the wake of the chaos weaving its way through the auditorium.
Miriam walks to the farthest part of the stage near the steps. One of her helper monkeys on the school board hands her rolled up fake diplomas from a woven basket. Child after child crosses the stage, exiting down the stairs to join their family members as a high school graduate– an adult.
Jessica Arnold is the first to cross the stage, appearing to be physically ill. Three kids later, Jackson Duncan strides forward with an air of ‘I don’t give a fuck’. He grabs his diploma without shaking anyone’s hand, and jumps off the end of the stage. Penny Gillette walks on rubbery legs, so petrified we can see her shaking. After saying a meek thanks, she makes a beeline to Warren and Copper. Wynn floats across the stage, kisses Miriam Ross on the cheek and refuses to shake her crony’s hand– Hayden dominates Wynn’s time at the end of our aisle, having to inspect the fake diploma. My son walks like he’s headed to his own execution, and I wait for him to join us. But he congregates with Jack and Jesse. And then there is Francis Parker, cartwheeling across the stage.
Kade groans like he’s dying. “That kid… I swear to God he’s begging for a hazing.” He shakes his head left and right. “After you’ve had dog shit flung at you from a moving car, you keep your gay tendencies to a minimum.”
“Do you really want to do cartwheels?” Warren grimaces when Kade slaps him upside the head for being an idiot.
“Wait… What?” I turn in my seat abruptly. “Are you saying someone did that to you?”
Leveling me with his unflinching gaze, Kade breaks my heart. “Dad, the past seven months have not been easy for Wynn and me. I wasn’t locked in my house for no reason. Sure, I was depressed– depressed because of what happened whenever I walked outside. Nothing like a redneck tossing shit at me. A ‘gift’ he said, because I love ass so much, I ought to love what comes out of one too.”
Kade looks to me with haunted eyes. I have no way to erase what he’s been through, so I keep my mouth shut.
“Why do you think I want Wynn to get his ass out of here? I’m protecting him the only way I know how. Maybe by the time he graduates from college, the Life Skills Center will have made a difference. And if it doesn’t, Wynn will be older, smarter, and stronger by then.”
“Son, I-I-I…” I stammer, having no idea how to fix this for him. My eyes seek out Wynn, who is chatting animatedly with Hayden, oblivious of what Kaden is discussing.
“All the kids in my group came out to support Wynn and me, and they’ve been bullied every fucking day. Look at ‘em!” Kade points to Jack, Franny, Jessica, and Bren. “They’re miserable as fuck, but happy to be getting the hell out of here.”
>
It takes all of my control to force my voice to sound neutral instead of betrayed. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because you would have leveled this town to the ground.” Kade’s expression says it all. He knows what happens when my shit spirals out of control. People either go to jail or wind up dead. “That’s why. It was nothing we couldn’t handle, and we were watching your back for once.”
“What–” Hayden being flung over Wynn’s shoulder stops my words.
Proving he has impeccable hearing, “We handled it, and I’m perfectly happy!” Wynn leans down, over several of our seats, with the widest grin I’ve ever seen. “C’mon, watch us toss our caps to the sky.” Moving away, he takes off with Hayden riding piggyback.
“Wait for me, Uncle Wynn!” Hayley crawls over us and scampers through the crowd.
“If the golden boy calls, we shall follow.” Kaden rises first, looking impatient. “Stop blocking traffic, old man. I don’t wanna miss it.”
We empty to the front of the school, into the circular lawn created by the exit and entrance driveways. The crowd surrounds the forty-some brand new adults wearing caps and gowns. Wynn’s halo of blond hair is a head above the rest. I can just make out Penny at his side, with Copper being held in her arms. My boy is in the center of a huddle, being supported by his friends.
Hayden and Hayley steal Willa’s and my cellphones and capture the moment on video. With a big whoop, the caps are flung into the air, signaling the end of an era and the beginning of another.
We all crowd in, offering congratulations and hugs. Groups break off and empty to the parking lot. Willa and I stand back, taking it all in. Penny and the baby are being swallowed by Hayden and Hayley and Warren, chattering so fast she can’t answer.
“Can we stay with you tonight, Aunt Penny? Tomlin and Hannah live next door and they’re having a campout. Can we? Can we?”
“Ask your momma and daddy.” Penny laughs, flashing us a look that she’s okay with it.
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