Risk

by Grady, Samantha

  “What do you do for Vinnie?” I asked my voice free of emotion.

  “I work the money.” Jonah answered, shame heavy in his voice.

  “Do you like your job?”

  Shaking his head Jonah closed his eyes, “I hate myself for working with Vinnie. So no Olivia I do not like my job.”

  “So why do you still work for him?” I yelled louder than I meant too.

  “I’m trying to get out Olivia. I’ve wanted out since I started and I’m ashamed to say that it’s only recently that I’ve really been trying to get out. It shouldn’t have taken so long but it was your risk to love me that made me see that working for Vinnie was not worth the risk. What happened last night happened because I told Vinnie I wanted out.”

  Jonah hated what he did for Vinnie I knew that and I could see it because I finally figured out why he got that haunted look on his face. Vinnie had played on an innocent boys mind and guiled him into a business he new nothing about, I didn’t blame Jonah for this, I understood. But did hating what he did and trying to get out now matter when the bottom line was he had and still worked in a drug business, a business that had destroyed my life and many others.

  Searching my face Jonah dropped a hand to my heart, “What matters to you most in this world Olivia?”

  What was the most important thing to me the answer was simple. “You. Love.” Strip everything away but leave me one thing I couldn’t live without and that was love. I thought I understood why Mason chose not to feel but that was just in the heat of the moment because without love I was left with nothing.

  Was our love enough to find the middle ground between right and wrong?

  Was there even a middle ground between right and wrong?

  “I need time Jonah.”

  Pulling my face closer he kissed my forehead gently, “Call me when you can.” He whispered against my skin leaving me confused and heart broken.

  “It’s about time you ended things with him.” Darcy hissed from the door.

  “I bet you’re a happy little person today thinking I’m gone so Olivia will never have to know.” Jonah snapped jumping off the bed to face off with Darcy.

  “Know what?” What else could I possible not know?

  “That call you got from Alex came from your apartment Mason tracked it.”

  “How did you know I got a call from Alex?” I asked shocked.

  “And you think I made that call, right Jonah?” Darcy yelled her cheeks turning as red as her hair.

  “Yeah, because you did.” Jonah shouted back.

  “Hate me all you want Jonah but I did not make that call.” Darcy said lowering her voice.

  “Then who did?” Jonah shot back.

  This was a pointless fight I knew who made that call and it sure as hell wasn’t from my apartment. “Shut up and get out both of you.” I screamed so done with all this shit.

  They both started to argue back, fine if they wouldn’t leave I would leave. Getting off the bed I stomped past them locking myself in the bathroom.

  Sliding to the ground I let the tear come once again.

  Chapter 18

  The sun was gone and dark clouds had turned the sky to a deep grey as I tried to run my pain away the heavens opened soaking me to the bone. If ever there was a moment to say the f-word over and over again, now was the time.

  Turning around I headed home and of course just as my apartment came into view the rain stopped.

  Just freaking great.

  The last three days had been a living hell and anything that could go wrong did but all that was nothing compared to the pain in my heart. I hadn’t realized how much room Jonah had taken up in there until I walked back into my bedroom to find him gone.

  I didn’t have an answer for anyone nor was I talking to anyone, my parents had called a hundred times from whatever vacation they were on now but I’d ignored every call. Darcy had taken off to God knows where but she’d called every morning and night, I hadn’t picked up one. Even Mason and Denny had called once or twice. Only two people in my life hadn’t called, Ty who still pissed at me so he wouldn’t call and Jonah who I’d told not to call so he wouldn’t call either.

  So far I’d picked up my cell almost every hour dialing Jonah’s number only to hang up just before it started to ring because I didn’t have an answer for him.

  As I got closer to my door a stunning woman got out of her car jogging towards me. When she was standing in front of me I felt my ego take a hit, she was beyond the word stunning, straight bleach blonde hair ran perfectly down to the middle of her back, the lightest hazel eyes I’d ever seen and a model’s body, just to be cruel.

  “You don’t know me, my names Rachel, I use to be a friend of Denny’s. My father kind of let it slip that he ran into Denny on a call out. I bribed his partner to give me your address. That sounded a lot less creepy in my head. I’m sorry its just I need Denny to have this.” Rachel said handing me a yellow envelope her smile turning to a frown. “I can’t give it to him myself, could you give it to him?”

  “Uh sure.” I said still trying to catch up, the girl talked really fast and I wasn’t sure how I was going to get this to Denny without running into Jonah.

  Smiling at me a piercing cry came from her parked car just a couple of steps from us. “That’s my cue, thank you for this.” She shouted over her shoulder as she opened the back door revealing a crying baby. “Shh sweet boy mama’s here, that wasn’t a very long nap now was it.” She cooed to the baby. “Oh wait your flowers.” Rachel yelled turning back to me.

  Walking over to her so she didn’t have to leave her baby she shut the back door, quickly moving around to the passage side.

  Looking at the baby in the back my mouth hit the floor it was Denny in baby form, black hair, deep blue eyes, same mouth, nose, everything just a lot smaller. Holy something really big, Denny had a kid.

  “Here,” Rachel said handing me a huge bouquet of yellow roses. “They were at your door when I pulled up I didn’t want them to get ruined by the rain so I picked them up.”

  Jonah had sent me flowers; I knew they were from him without looking at the card because the yellow rose tattoo on his rib cage was imprinted on my brain. “Thanks.” I said taking the flowers from her.

  “Jonah’s girlfriend I’m guessing?” Rachel said nodding to the flowers.

  “Why do you say that?”

  “They tend not to wear shirts in their house like ever, I’ve seen the rose tattoo more times than I can count. I always figured he would be a rose guy when he finally fell for someone.”

  So Rachel was Denny’s ex not just some chick he knocked up. It was rude but I had to ask, “Why aren’t you with Denny anymore?” I asked my eyes going back to beautiful baby in the backseat.

  “He walked away from me.” She said sadly, her eyes following mine to her baby boy.

  That didn’t seem like Denny and to leave his child too no Denny wouldn’t do that. Would he? Nodding because there wasn’t much else I could say I watched her leave wondering what had happened between her and Denny and what could possible be in the yellow envelope.

  Letting myself into the apartment I put the flowers on the kitchen table taking out the little white envelope stuck in the middle of the flowers. One line was written across the card in black ink,

  Remember me not the person you think I am.

  Throwing the card on the table I walked to the bathroom stripped out of my wet clothes and got into the shower letting the hot water warm my skin.

  What did that card mean? Was I thinking of Jonah as a different person since finding out about the drug business? Yes I’d thought of him as a different person the moment I saw him in that alley. The Jonah in that alley was cold and mean and nothing like my real Jonah who was sweet and caring and didn’t care that I cried too much or that I had controlling parents and panic attacks. He loved me, he took care of me and he bought me a puppy. But even when he was being mean and cold Jonah and acting like a completely different person
he was still looking out for me. Was I really willing to let all that go for a mistake he made almost eight years ago?

  Staying in the shower until the water turned cold I let myself really feel what it would be like without Jonah in my life and the feeling had me sinking to my knees the pain too much to take. I had to do something because living without Jonah was not an option; I had to find away to move past Jonah’s mistake.

  While getting dressed a knock came from the front door. Pulling my shirt over my head I jogged to the door hesitating for half a second before opening the door to Mason and Miss Daisy. “What are you doing here?” I screeched taking my bouncing Miss Daisy from his hands so I could fuss over her.

  “Jonah asked me to bring Miss Daisy to you, he thought you might want to see her. I also thought you and I could talk.”

  Waving him in I shut the door and put Miss Daisy on the floor to explore.

  “What did you want to talk about?” I said sounding a lot colder then I meant too.

  “I know about Jonah and Denny, what they do for Vinnie. I thought you might need to talk to someone about it.”

  “How long have you known?” I asked sitting on the floor so I could love on Miss Daisy some more.

  “Since they first started.” He admitted crossing his arms and leaning against the wall.

  “Do you like what they do?”

  “Not at all.”

  “Then why are you sticking by them?” I asked looking up at him and hugging Miss Daisy to my chest.

  “I’ve known Jonah and Denny since I was twelve they took me in showed me what it was like to have a friend, over time they turned into my brothers. When Vinnie took them into his business he didn’t really give them a choice but for me I had a choice, give up the only family I ever had or stay and hope one day they get out.”

  “I understand they never wanted to be apart of Vinnie’s business but the fact is they are a part of his business.” I stressed shaking my head and pushing down the tears that wanted to fall.

  “Jonah told you Vinnie gave him a choice right?” Nodding my head yes Mason carried on, “Vinnie may have said Jonah had a choice but it was a done deal saying no would have only meant Vinnie would’ve had to convince him. You saw how Vinnie convinces people, what he did to Jonah’s face the other day, that was child’s play compared to what Vinnie is known for. ”

  “Vinnie would have seriously hurt him if he didn’t join?” I whispered my eyes pleading with Mason to tell me no.

  “Vinnie would have beaten him till he said yes, if he never said yes he would have had him killed.”

  Gasping and letting Miss Daisy go so I could chew on my fingernail, I shook my head, “Jonah didn’t tell me that.” I said quietly appalled and disgusted that any human being could be that evil.

  “He wouldn’t.” Mason said a small smile lining his lips.

  “Why not?” I asked my face scrunching up in confusion.

  “Do you have any idea what Jonah thinks about you?”

  “No.” I said shaking my head because honestly I didn’t know why a person as gorgeous as Jonah would want someone like me.

  “Jonah calls you his angel.” Oh my, I liked that. “The life Jonah has led for the last eight years has shown him the harsher side to life. Before you came he’d forgot that there are still people and things in this world that are pure, sweet and innocent. Jonah would do anything to keep you from seeing the darker parts of his life, he doesn’t want to risk loosing his pure, sweet, innocent angel.”

  Gosh I like that, but it wasn’t true far from it. “I’m none of those things Mason.”

  “Maybe not, but to Jonah you are.”

  To Jonah I was, I didn’t like that, I loved that.

  Chuckling lightly Mason whistled for Miss Daisy, grabbing her to give her one last hug I let her to go to Mason. “Think about what I’ve told you Olivia, Jonah can’t change the past but he is trying to change his future.”

  “Can Jonah get out?” I asked hugging my knees to my chest.

  “It’s going to be hard but if he plays it right he might be able to break away clean. It’s not going to happen overnight Olivia it’s going to take time. But from what Denny told me Jonah’s not doing himself any favors.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Jonah’s convinced you won’t come back to him at all let alone if he is still working for Vinnie. If something doesn’t change soon he’s going to get himself killed Olivia.” Looking truly worried now Mason picked up Miss Daisy and left quickly.

  I would not let Jonah get himself killed because of me. I understood why Jonah and Denny started working for Vinnie, did understanding make it right, no nothing would ever make what they did right but they were paying for their mistake every day and had been paying for it since the day they took a risk to work for Vinnie. Mistakes didn’t make a person, the clean up did. As long as I could get Jonah out I could get past it, and if I was really lucky I could get Denny out too.

  I managed to wait an hour after Mason left before I threw on jeans and a t-shirt and headed for Jonah’s. I didn’t want to go to Jonah right after Mason left because I didn’t want Jonah thinking I was only coming back because Mason had come to see me. I was going to wait a little longer more but I couldn’t wait, I needed to see Jonah.

  Locking my apartment door I turned to walk to my car and ran into a solid wall of man. Stumbling backwards my upper arm was grabbed roughly by a man with a shaved head and a tattoo on his face, two other men were flanking tattoo face and each one looked as mean as hell.

  Screaming as loud as I could, I kicked out hitting someone and tried to run. I managed to turn myself around before my head was pulled back painfully by a hand tangled in my hair and something hard and cold hit me on the forehead making everything go black.

  Chapter 19

  My head was pounding to the beat of my heart, the pain in my forehead was awful and the smell of dust and cigarette smoke was doing nothing to help my nauseous stomach. As I became more awake I realized pain and a nauseous stomach were the least of my worries, my hands were tied behind my back and voices I did not know were talking around me.

  Crap.

  Opening my eyes slowly I took in the room with blurry vision. My body was laid on an ugly brown rug that could easy be a hundred years old and the three men that had grabbed me outside my apartment were lounging on a green couch.

  Tattoo face noticed I was awake first. Chuckling he got off the couch and crouched in front of me, “Scream all you want now girl no one’s going to hear you.”

  God wasn’t that the truth no one would even know I was gone. I’d been ignoring everyone for the last three days so a call to me that wasn’t picked up wouldn’t raise alarm. I was screwed, before anyone even knew I was missing I would probably be dead.

  Ok so what did one do when being held captive by three scary looking men? Crying seemed like a good idea but my head hurt way too much for that, screaming and yelling was out too, thinking apparently was out as well, I wasn’t doing a very good job of it, it hurt and I was freaking tired.

  “Get Adam, tell him she’s awake.” Tattoo face said a little loud for my liking.

  Turning my head slightly towards a window I saw that it was still dark out, that was good right it was dark out when they grabbed me so it meant I hadn’t been here long, I hoped.

  An older man with long black hair tied at his neck and a ridiculous looking goatee came into view, followed by two people I knew or thought I knew, they looked like the people Jonah and Denny had been with in the alley, just a lot cleaner. That night both had been in jeans and t-shirts, Shark I thought his name was looked more like a surfer, wavy bleach blond hair that looked like it was never brushed and sea blue eyes, now his hair was slicked back, slacks and a dress shirt replaced the jeans and t-shirt.

  “Why is there a woman on my floor?” The one with long hair asked tattoo face.

  “You told us to get Mika’s player. Black hair, blue eyes, last name Rees.” Tattoo face sai
d kneeling back down beside me, grabbing a chunk of my hair and pulling violently, he shook his hand causing me to scream, “See black hair,” his finger pride my eye open, “Blue eyes and her name is Olivia Rees.”

  “Mika’s player is a male you fucking moron.” Long hair shouted, shaking his head as he vibrated with rage.

  “But we tracked her.” Tattoo face said finally letting go of my hair.

  “My office, now.” Long hair hissed through his teeth, “Shark I’m sorry, could you give us a minute.”

  “Go, but Adam, I don’t have all day.” Shark said leaning up against the wall next to his partner.

  The door shut firmly behind the last man, leaving me alone with Shark and his friend.

  Trying to sit up so I could maybe, hopefully get out of here before they came back a hand pushed me back down, “Listen very carefully Adam and his boys are nothing like Jonah and Denny. Right now Adam is telling them to take you somewhere and kill you. You need to give them a reason not to, tell them whatever you want, just make sure you say J will kill them for this and Vinnie will let him. Don’t say it like a lie, say it like the truth it is, china doll.” Stepping away from me Shark leaned back up against the wall and begun picking his nails.

  Adam and his boys came in a seconds later before I could process what had just happened.

  “Where were we Shark?” Adam said gesturing for Shark to leave ahead of him as the three men came to me tattoo face pulling me up by my hair again.

  “Are you going to kill me?” That wasn’t what I wanted to say oh God I was going to die the pain was clouding my brain I couldn’t think straight.

  “Yes, but first we’re going to play with you.” He said with a creepy smile running a finger down my body.

  No no no, I was going to throw up. “Touch me and J will kill you. Vinnie will let him, might even help.” I snapped causing Adam to spin around so fast he almost fell over.