Never Let Me Go

by McAvoy, J. J. ;

  “You’re right.” He frowned, looking away. “Alone is how I’ve always been so I don’t know.”

  “You’re Dorian Rhys-Gallagher, you have so many people around you all the time—”

  “‘Around’ isn’t the same.” He forced a smile. “It’s pitiful that I’m the one who lived, who inherited everything, and yet I’m sure, because he had you, he had a much happier life.”

  I scoffed at that. “I wasn’t his sun or anything.”

  “His last moments, he talked about you,” he said, and my throat felt heavy. “How he wished he’d been a better man for you, what kind of life he could have had with you. He laughed, he smiled, and he died, happily thinking of you. Thank you for that, too.”

  Inhaling, I wiped away the tears in my eyes before forcing myself to smile. “Going through this sober is kinda torture.”

  “Do you want—”

  “No,” I said quickly. “I wanted the life he spoke about, and instead, he goes and tells you while dying and didn’t even… I loved him, and I hate him.”

  “Me too.”

  We fell into silence. He never looked away from my face, and in his eyes, I saw his pain and his loneliness. The weight of the world was on his shoulders.

  “That night I was broken. I couldn’t feel or think of anything but pain. And you were right, I did want to feel better, but I didn’t think it was possible. I didn’t think I’d ever feel better. In that moment, you made me feel human. If you hadn’t been there, I don’t know how deeply I would have fallen, if I would've even made it to the morning. Now, I want to help you, too.”

  “Thank you, but I don’t want to be your charity case,” I said, placing the card on the table.

  “It isn’t charity, it’s yours by right,” he replied. He got up, fetched a tablet, and moved closer, showing it to me.

  “What is this?” I asked, looking at the list and charts.

  “Donovan and I had a falling out, and I cut him off from the family, hoping he’d come back for help. He didn’t, but I never took his inheritance. I held it back so he couldn’t blow it. In the end, he left it to you and Alaric. It isn’t charity. It’s yours. By law. It was the only thing in his will.”

  “What?” I gasped.

  He laughed, showing it to me again. “You see that eight and all those zeros behind it? It’s yours, along with the cars and the house—”

  “Stop. Am I dreaming?” I placed a hand over my eyes. “Things like this don’t happen to me.”

  “They should.” He hugged me, and he was so warm, so gentle, I didn’t want to pull away. When we broke apart, his head was close to mine.

  It was wrong and stupid, and it proved how horrible a person I was, but I leaned in.

  He pulled back slightly but didn’t let go. “I didn’t bring you here to do…to use you again. All I want is for you to be happy and maybe I could meet and visit Alaric, if possible.”

  “You are one of two people in my life who has ever said they want me to be happy. Thank you—”

  His lips were on my mine before I could blink. I didn’t want him to stop. He lifted me off the chair as he stood. I opened my mouth for him, my tongue exploring every inch of his mouth.

  “No,” he gasped, pulling away. “This is wrong. I don’t want to treat you like—”

  “An escort? But I am an escort.”

  “And now you don’t need to be anymore. Besides, you’re my brother’s girl. I didn’t know that last time, but—”

  “But I did. We’ve done it once already. It doesn’t get more shameful doing it again.”

  “Still.” He closed his eyes and hung his head.

  “I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to come on as…desperate as I did. I must look so pitiful—” I tried to pull back and away from him, but he held me square against the table. “You’re not letting me go.”

  “Because I don’t want to. I feel guilty, wanting you right now. This isn’t the reason I sought you out, and yet I can’t forget the last time. Nor can I ignore how beautiful you look right now. I want you, but this is going to make things confusing and messy.”

  “Your choice. What you want, I’ll do,” I told him, and I could feel his bulge against me.

  “Strip for me.” His voice was barely above a whisper, and his eyes were filled with lust.

  Taking a step back, I pushed his arm away, stepping out of my heels and kicking them aside. I worked on the buttons of my shirt.

  “God, why are you so beautiful?” He muttered under his breath like he was upset with himself…or God. I wasn’t sure, but it was sweet.

  “What next?” I asked, stepping out of my underwear until I stood in front of him completely naked. His gaze made my skin hot. He licked his lips and had to breathe through his nose.

  “You are killing me, Luella.”

  “Lulu,” I corrected. “Call me Lulu.”

  “I want you, Lulu,” he replied. “But taking you might ruin us going forward.”

  “Okay, then.” I smiled and bent over to pick up my clothes when he took hold of my arm and drew me closer to him.

  “Will you stay in the morning?” He asked, his hand lifting to brush the loose strands of my hair off my face. “Or will you run again?”

  “I’ll be here,” I replied. I removed his belt, and he didn’t stop me. Falling to my knees, I opened and reached into his trousers. Taking hold of his hard cock, I stroked him in my hands and licked the tip.

  “Fuck,” he gasped, gripping the table.

  When I licked him again, he twitched, and I smiled.

  “We… Oh…” He tried to speak when I took him in my mouth. He clutched a fistful of my hair, thrusting into my mouth. “Lulu.”

  When I closed my eyes, he sounded like Don.

  DORIAN

  This was not the plan.

  I was going to give her the money, ask to visit Alaric, and try to have a decent relationship with my nephew’s mother. Instead, I was ramming my cock into her sweet mouth. This was wrong. I wasn’t even sure how it happened. One moment she was filling in the blanks of the past, I was aching for her pain, and the next she was stripping down into her bra and panties. She was a beautiful woman, there was no denying that.

  “Jeez.” I bit my lips together, glancing down at her. Her mouth was sinful, and her tongue—good God, her tongue. It licked all around me. If she kept this up, I was going to come down her throat. That thought only turned me on more.

  “S-stop,” I demanded, but she didn’t listen. I pulled out of her mouth and lifted her to her feet, then wiped the corner of her mouth.

  Stop this here, Dorian.

  But I didn’t want to. “You have no idea how badly I want to fuck you right now.”

  She reached into her purse and pulled out a condom. “Nothing is stopping that but you.”

  Nothing but my guilt and shame, and it was surprisingly easy to push that down. “You’re right.”

  I stripped the rest of my clothes off before closing the gap between us and kissing her. She jumped onto me, her legs wrapping around my waist. As she kissed the side of my face, my neck, bit my ear, I led her from the dining room to the stairs. My dick still throbbed as her breasts pressed up against me and her lips roamed over my skin. Never in my life did it feel like forever to get to a bedroom.

  Finally, we were inside, and once again, all the reason I had to not do this left me. “Get on the bed.”

  She untangled herself from me and did so without hesitation, exciting me further.

  “Pleasure yourself for me,” I stated, stopping at the foot of the bed to watch her. What the fuck was wrong with me? Why was I acting like this out-of-control sex maniac with her? I didn’t know, and the more I watched her, the less I cared.

  She licked two fingers and slid them slowly down her body. Her back arched when they entered her eager pussy. She pulled on a nipple, squeezing hard.

  “Oh…” She worked her fingers faster, legs spread so I could see the wetness on her thighs.

  �
�Please,” she begged. “I need you.”

  The question was, did she need me or my brother? I wasn’t sure, but I knew I needed her. I couldn’t look away from her.

  Kneeling on the bed, I reached for her hands and sucked her fingertips. I ran my tongue up her thigh and kissed my way up until I was at her clit. I licked it, and she shivered.

  “You taste divine.” I slid my fingers into her as I sucked and kissed. Her legs went to my shoulders as I ate her out.

  “Oh-ha!” she gasped out, rocking against my tongue.

  Was that a word? I wasn’t sure, but I enjoyed hearing it.

  I finger-fucked her harder, faster. I could feel her as she trembled against my tongue, she was so close and tasted so sweet.

  “Oh my God!” she cried out, unable to control herself as she came.

  Kissing both her thighs, I sat up, pulling my fingers from her and licking them clean. She watched me for a moment before sitting up and licking them as well. Her hazel eyes never strayed from mine, nor mine from hers.

  “Kiss me,” she whispered, and I did, letting her taste herself on my tongue. My cock brushed against her pussy, and we rubbed against each other. I held on to her thighs as her lips moved to the side of my jaw.

  “Don’t hold back.” She reached between us, sliding the condom on me. “Everything you feel, make me feel it, too.”

  I grabbed her throat, glaring at her. “Why do you tempt me like this?”

  “I should be asking you that,” she replied, and just when I thought she’d already broken me, that she’d already made me lose any self-control I still had, she said, “Fuck me, please.”

  Heaven… Everything about this was heaven to me.

  Pushing her down on the bed, I gave her what she wanted. I parted her legs and slammed myself into her as hard as possible. Her back arched off the bed.

  “God, yes.” She smiled, gripping the sheets. “That’s right, baby, harder.”

  I was known for my self-control. Everything I did was with a level head. I thought, planned, and executed everything to near perfection.

  But with her, there was none of that. Another part of me I didn't recognize came out for her.

  “Oh… Fuck,” I hissed, grabbing the headboard tightly. Her legs wrapped around me as I rammed into her.

  The whole bed rocked. Her pussy was so tight, gripping me, and her body moved in sync with mine, her breasts bouncing freely under me. I could lose myself in her forever plus a day and never complain.

  “Harder,” she demanded, her hands roaming over my chest.

  I locked her hands above her head. “What’s going to break first, the bed or you?”

  She laughed. “Make it me.”

  I pulled out slightly and SLAM.

  “Fuck yes.”

  SLAM.

  “More.”

  SLAM.

  “Please let me touch you.” She tried to wriggle free, but I wouldn’t let her.

  SLAM.

  Her lips parted again. “…Ahhh.”

  She felt so good, I wanted to scream. My heart was racing, and I couldn’t hold on to her wrists anymore.

  I fucked her savagely, mercilessly. Sweat dripped off my nose, my vision spotty.

  She cried out once again, coming for me.

  “Fuck, Lu…” I grunted, gaining my release.

  Pulling out of her and dumping the condom in the wastebasket, I laid down beside her.

  The room reeked of sex, and with every harsh breath I took, reality worked itself back into my head.

  Goddamnit, Dorian.

  For the second time, I’d fucked my brother’s girl, the mother of his child, and this time I had done so knowingly. I bought her, and I fucked her. Part of me knew she most likely thought of only Donovan the whole time, though. That thought bothered me more than the fact that I’d chosen to screw her.

  “This, it can’t happen again,” I said to her. She was staring at the ceiling, her hair sticking to her sweaty body.

  “You sound like you’re begging me.” She shifted to face me. “But you’re the one in control.”

  “Am I?” I asked back. Because control was the last thing I felt with her.

  “You bought me, and I know your good intentions. But when you found out who I was, you could have easily just come to see me. Instead, you summoned me to your rooftop,” she said, with this look on her face like she knew something I didn’t.

  “I was afraid of what would happen if I just came to your door. I thought about simply giving you the money and staying out of your way, but I want to meet Alaric. I want to talk to you—”

  “So, you bought me.” I frowned at that, but she didn’t. She rolled over and placed her hand on my face. “I’m not upset. If you want to be in Alaric's life, I think we should at least be okay with being honest…or as honest as possible with each other. Why did you buy me?”

  She didn’t look away, and the more I stared, the more mesmerizing she was. “Because I wanted to help—”

  She kissed my lips gently, and then backed away. “Why did you buy me and bring me to a hotel?”

  “I—”

  She kissed me again and broke away too soon. “Why the dinner?”

  “To talk—”

  Again, a kiss, and this time my hand rested on her hips, and again the kiss was over too quickly.

  “Why did you move closer?”

  Kiss.

  “Why didn’t you let go?”

  Kiss.

  “Why did you tell me to strip?”

  Enough. Climbing on top of her, her hands went up around my neck, and I stared down at her, realizing why the hell she’d be worth a quarter of a million dollars. Once a man got stuck in this trap, there was no hope of getting out.

  “Tell me the truth, Dorian,” she whispered. “You wanted to help me but you also wanted to…”

  “Be with you again,” I finished for her. “I bought you for several reasons. Some because I thought it might help you, but also because, personally, I wanted you again. I brought you to a hotel because it feels private and decent at the same time, and I had dinner sent so we could talk, so I could get to know you and you could get comfortable. I moved closer because you were in pain. I didn’t let go because I’m in pain. I told you to strip so we both could feel something other than pain.”

  She smirked, and there it was, lust in her eyes. I bent to kiss her, and she placed her finger on my lips. “I thought you said this can’t happen again.”

  Now I understood the point of this. She was smart. Very smart. She wanted me to see that if we were around each other, this was most likely going to be the end result.

  “Apparently, I didn’t know who I was up against,” I replied and felt the same smirk on my face.

  “I just want us to be honest,” she said gently, leaning back up to kiss me.

  She made me believe I had all the choices, that I was completely in control—all for me to do what she wanted.

  I, the Butcher of Wall Street, that son of a bitch, that motherfucker, the man who always thought two steps ahead and avoided anything scandalous, fell hook, line, and sinker into her trap.

  And I enjoyed falling.

  5

  It’s All Just a Little Bit Messy

  DORIAN

  She laid on my chest, and her body felt so soft and warm against mine, I didn’t want to move. I ran my hands through her hair, my mind completely blank, something I’d never experienced before. Sex so good that I was in a state of euphoria.

  “No one has ever called me Lulu or even Luella when I…” Her voice trailed off, and I waited for her to keep speaking. When she didn’t, I said what I knew she didn’t want to.

  “When you were working as an escort?”

  Silence.

  It took a second until I felt her nod against me. “Have you ever seen Pretty Woman?”

  “No, but I’ve heard about it. It’s about a prostitute and a wealthy businessman who fall in love with one another, right?” I wasn’t really much o
f a movie person.

  “Yeah, that’s the one.” She giggled, and the sound tickled faintly on my skin. “Everyone loved that movie when it first came out. Julia Roberts was nominated for an Oscar for it. People still watch it and think it’s cute and sweet. But when they meet an escort or a prostitute in real life, it’s like we have a scarlet letter written all over us. Women and men judge, and we stop being people and become sex toys. People don’t think we can have an honest sexual experience with someone.”

  She lifted her head, resting her chin on my chest, and looked to me as I looked to her. “Are you trying to tell me what we just did was an honest sexual experience?”

  “Yes,” she answered. “Just like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman didn’t let men kiss her on the lips, I don’t let anyone call me Lulu.”

  “You didn’t need to tell me,” I told her and meant it. “Your past doesn’t hurt or faze me. Just like in Pretty Woman, I’m a rich businessman who does not care, and besides, you’re no longer an escort, or in need of money. There’s nothing you gain by being here with me, so how could I think it was dishonest? I’m the one who wants you to stay. Not just you but also—”

  “Alaric,” she said.

  I nodded, looking up at the ceiling. The lights from the city outside the window reflected on it. “Did you know, biologically, I could technically be his father? Donovan and I were identical twins.”

  “I know, that’s why I didn’t come to you the first time. I was afraid you’d take him from me. If Donovan didn’t think I was fit to be a mother, what would his well-to-do brother say? You said you have no other family. I thought if you knew about Alaric, you’d want him desperately. With all the money and power you have, I knew you’d take him if you wanted to. I was a broke woman with only a high school diploma, and a whore on top of that. You could fight for him and take him. And I would die.”