Never Let Me Go

by McAvoy, J. J. ;

  “Luella, where did he want to meet you?”

  “Why?”

  “Just tell me.”

  “Please don’t do anything stupid because of me, this is all my fault—”

  “Don’t you dare...” I bit my lip. “Him hitting you then and now is not your fault. Don’t ever say that to me, or I will lose my mind.”

  “You’ve always had to take care of people or watch them fall apart around you. I don’t want to be the next messed up person in your life, Dorian. We will work something out where you can still be there for Alaric, but you can’t keep saving me.”

  “Why? Name one person on this planet who doesn’t need to be saved from someone or something? Point to one person who isn’t a mess, who doesn’t have problems or baggage? If I drink, I have a greater chance of getting addicted, and if I get addicted, I could drink until I kill myself. I’m terrified of dying alone, but I’m equally terrified of letting people in, because I might hurt them. So, should we walk away from each other? That doesn’t fix anything. Right now, at this moment, all I want to do is protect you, so please let me do that. You were willing to see Hugh to protect me, I can’t even imagine that. Talk to me! Tell me!”

  “Rosewood Hotel, room 301.”

  I kissed her forehead. “Get some rest. You’re safe here.”

  She laid down, hugging Alaric as I got up. “Dorian.”

  “Yes?”

  “Please be safe.”

  “Always.”

  Closing the door behind me, I went downstairs, rolling up my sleeves.

  Goldie stood at the bottom, waiting patiently.

  “Not now.”

  “I’m sorry, sir, but you just want to walk away from Sinclair after months of planning? I don’t understand—”

  “Goldie, you don’t need to understand, you just need to execute. It’s done. I’m done. If Sinclair calls, you can tell him that. I do not, and will not, explain any more than that.” There was no way in hell I was going to get involved if I did, Hugh would always be around.

  He needed to pay.

  “I have a meeting to attend.”

  * * *

  I pulled out a roll of cash and handed it to the bellboy. He knocked once. “Room service.”

  I glanced at the dinner for two, along with the bottle of champagne. Was he going to feed her, then abuse her?

  Hugh opened the door in a robe. “Finally, I ordered this—”

  I snatched the bottle and smashed it on his head. He stumbled back into the room and fell on his ass, stunned.

  “Go,” I hissed at the bellboy, who was already walking away.

  “Have you lost your goddamn mind?” He screamed, gripping his bleeding forehead, the blood staining the white robe he wore. He tried to get back onto his feet, but I kicked him in the stomach, making that difficult.

  “Have I lost my mind? I don’t know, Hugh.” I squatted on him and punched him repeatedly in the mouth. “But what I do know is you are going to regret laying a hand on her.”

  I allowed him to break free, and he spat out teeth as he crawled toward his phone.

  “How many of her ribs did you break? She said it was three, but it must have felt like four or five, right?” I walked around him, picked up the phone, and threw it against the wall.

  “Dor—”

  I reached down and grabbed him by the hair. “And I’m sure you slapped her around a few times too. You’re that small of a man, you get off on beating women because it makes you feel strong.”

  I smashed his face against the glass, and it shattered. I made sure it cut him, then let go. He slumped to the floor.

  “Stop—”

  “Let’s not forget the arm.” I grasped the tall lamp next to the desk and used it like a baseball bat, smacking his arm again and again.

  “Please… Please! Help! Stop!”

  “I’m sure she screamed that too! Did you stop?” I smashed it against his elbow, and he cried out like the little coward he was. “I asked you, did she scream like this too?”

  Taking a step back, I dropped the lamp. He lay in the corner, covered in his own blood.

  “She was just a whore.” He spat out blood, and I wanted to strangle him. “She was paid well enough, wasn’t she? Now she goes whining to her sugar daddy?”

  Grabbing him by the throat, I lifted him back on his feet. “Keep talking, and I will kill you.”

  “No, you won’t. You will beat me up a little, but you won’t kill me. You really going to put your career on the line for a slut? Rhys-Gallagher National will—”

  Wrestling around him, I locked his head into my arms and squeezed tightly. “I am sick of hearing you speak, so here is what’s going to happen. If you ever come near Luella, me, or anyone in my circle again, I will end you. You paid for a woman, and you beat her. If I see any bad press on her, I’ll spin it to make her look like a saint. I have more than enough money and more than enough favors to make that happen. But you will always be a fucking scumbag.”

  His face was turning red. He tapped on my arm. When I let go, he crumpled to the floor, gasping and wheezing for air.

  “Leave the Hamptons, stay out of our way, Hugh.” I turned to leave, and, as expected, he waited until my back was turned before punching me. I saw his reflection in the mirror.

  I turned and flipped him on his back. He landed hard. I put my foot on his neck. “You can never beat me. You couldn’t in school, and you can’t now.”

  He screamed when I dislocated his finger.

  “Enjoy your stay, Mr. Edmund.”

  It was good enough. I truly wished I’d killed him. The fact that he was around, that he might ever scare her again—I couldn’t have that. Not ever.

  LUELLA

  I sat on the stairs, dressed in shorts and a T-shirt, waiting for him to get back. Everyone was asleep, with the exception of Bronwyn, Donovan’s sick dog. She crawled into my lap, whimpering softly as I stroked her brown-and-white fur.

  “I’m sorry you’re hurting,” I whispered, then lifted my head as the door opened and Dorian stepped inside. I stared at his bloody hands.

  Neither of us said anything. Bronwyn cried out softly again. He walked to the back of the house, and I followed with Bronwyn. Next to the double glass doors, which led out to the beach, was a side table Dorian unlocked with a key in his hand I didn’t know he had. He pulled out a syringe and stared at it for what felt like forever.

  “Trade with me.” I passed him the dog, and he gave me the needle. He opened the doors, took off his shoes, and walked right onto the sand.

  The night sky was starless, just the full moon hovering over the roaring ocean, and he sat down. He still didn’t say anything, just brushed back her fur, staring at the water as the tide came in. She licked his hands and only barked once, like she was saying goodbye first.

  “Do it,” he finally said, and pointed to the spot where he wanted me to inject Bronwyn. It didn’t take long for her to close her eyes for the last time. “No more pain, Luella. Let’s try not to let the world hurt us anymore. Despite your past, regardless of my present, our future is undeniable. For Alaric, for you, I will always be here, in any way you need me to be.”

  He was a good man. When everyone else was trying to be something bigger, he was just a good man.

  “And we will be here for you. You have want you need.”

  12

  The Infinite Moment of Us

  LUELLA

  “AH!”

  I screamed as they shot me down with water, trying to make a run for it. I pointed the water gun behind me, blindly shooting at them. However, they caught up and surrounded me, circling and spraying. I stood still, closing my eyes laughing. When the liquid barrage finally stopped, I took a look.

  “Do you give up?” Alaric signed.

  I smiled evilly, lifting my water gun. “You guys are empty, right?”

  “Crap.” Dorian took Alaric’s hand, and they made a run for it.

  “Revenge,” I yelled, spraying at their
backsides, chasing them off the beach and back to the house.

  Alaric laughed loudly when Dorian used him as a shield. “You win.” He signed, and I finally stopped blowing the top off my gun.

  Dorian put him down. “Did. You. Give. In?”

  He wasn’t perfect at signing, but how could he be in such a short time? But he put a lot of effort into learning. He’d asked for the signs for as many common words and phrases and now put them together.

  He shrugged. “You can’t beat Mommy.”

  “Listen to him. I have made him wise.” I smiled proudly, running up and kissing him on the cheek.

  “Yeah, but you have to put up a—”

  “Mr. Rhys-Gallagher,” Russell interrupted, standing at the back of the house.

  Next to him was a bulky man with short black hair and brown eyes, dressed only slightly less formally than Russell. Dorian, Alaric, and I were in beach-wear. The comparison was amusing. I'd been trying to focus on things other than Dorian’s bare chest and the water that dripped down his sculpted abs.

  Dorian grabbed a towel from one of the maids and placed it on Alaric’s head. “Luella, this is Finnick Washington, he will be looking out for us from now on.”

  “Looking out for us?” I asked slowly. “Like a bodyguard?”

  “Yes, Ms. Thorne.” He signed to Alaric. “It is nice to meet you, little boss.”

  Alaric grinned. “Little boss? Mommy, I’m a boss.”

  “That you are,” I replied. “It is a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Finnick. I’m Luella.”

  “Likewise, ma’am, and just call me Finnick.”

  “Luella is fine, no ‘ma’am'.”

  “It seems everyone is ahead of me in sign language.” Dorian frowned. He was frustrated, despite how great he was doing. He wasn’t used to being the only one not able to do something perfectly. He was already forgoing sleep to learn, on top of memorizing every sign I did. At this rate, he really could learn by the end of the week. But then again, Alaric learned quickly too.

  When Dorian went over to speak with Finnick, Alaric drew my attention.

  “Mommy, what happened to Bronwyn?” he asked when Hercules wandered over. He sat down, rubbing the dog’s head.

  I wasn’t sure what to say. I hadn’t talked to him about death yet.

  “Well, Bronwyn was sick, and she wanted to go, so Dad and I let her go yesterday.”

  “Will she come back?”

  “No, sweetheart.”

  He got up and joined Dorian.

  “Alaric…”

  Ignoring me, he pulled on Dorian’s shorts.

  “What is wrong?” he asked him slowly, allowing him to read his lips.

  Alaric wrapped his arms around him tightly. “Don’t get sick.”

  Dorian glanced at me, confused.

  “I told him about Bronwyn.”

  He picked him up, holding him tightly. Alaric looked so hurt, and it hurt me to see him so upset. He was terrified.

  “Why don’t we go play tennis?” Dorian signed.

  “Really?”

  “I’m pretty good.” He smiled proudly. “Can you handle it?”

  “But Mom, I don’t have tennis clothes.” He panicked. I repeated out loud for Dorian.

  “Why don’t we eat lunch first, and Russell will get you everything you need?” he said.

  Alaric thought this over. “I need to be full to beat you.”

  Dorian grinned, placing him on his feet. “What do you want to eat?”

  “Mommy’s spinach soup.”

  “Done.”

  Alaric picked up Hercules and went inside.

  “Do you think your cook will mind if I steal your kitchen?” I asked Dorian.

  He smirked. I wished he hadn’t because it made me take a breath.

  “I’m sure he will enjoy his time off. He gets paid either way.” He dusted the sand off his shorts and out his hair. I couldn’t keep my eyes off him, watching him in what felt like slow motion. “I’m going to need a shower.”

  For the love of God, Luella, stop staring at him. He’s hot. Move on.

  He paused at the door. “You coming?”

  “Sorry, yeah.”

  I’m a mess.

  DORIAN

  “Make sure he puts it in when he’s done.” Luella handed me Alaric’s hearing aid in a waterproof case. “Be good,” she said to Alaric, who said something back, already pulling off his shirt and moving into his room. He wanted me to help him get ready, instead of her.

  “What did he say?”

  “That he’s always good.” She rolled her eyes through the smile that never left her beautiful face. “I’m going to get cleaned up before heading down. I’ll most likely be done before you two.”

  “Why?”

  “He likes bubble baths. Actually, just baths, bubbles are not a requirement.” She laughed, brushing her hair behind her ear.

  Staring into her hazel eyes, I felt this need to touch her, and I might have if Alaric hadn’t come out…naked.

  She wasn’t even surprised. “Alaric, what did I say?”

  “Only bathroom,” he spoke, pulling me into the bathroom and hopping into the clawfoot tub.

  “Water first.” I signed.

  He shook his head.

  I stared. “No water?”

  He pointed to my hands and said with his voice. “No sign and talk.”

  He plugged the tub and turned on the water. I poured the bubbles, mountains of foam rising up around him. Checking the water temp, I sat beside the tub, then tapped his shoulder. Our eyes met.

  “Why don’t you want me to sign?” I asked slowly so he could read my lips.

  “No,” he replied with his hands. “Not all the time.”

  “Why?”

  “Teach me to talk better…please.”

  I was surprised he was speaking so well already, considering he couldn’t hear himself.

  “Why, Alaric? You don’t like signing?” I said slowly so he could see me.

  “Do not tell Mommy?” He turned off the water.

  I waited for him to look at me. “Okay.”

  “I don’t wanna to be teased,” he said and signed before he piled bubbles on his head, smiling, but I could tell he was doing what she did—hiding his pain by smiling.

  “Who teases you, Alaric?”

  He shrugged. “Kids at school.”

  “Aren’t there other kids just like you?”

  “Yes.” He did his best to speak, and I did my best to listen. “They laugh at my voice. Their mommies and daddies give them talk teachers.”

  Speech therapists. Now that I thought about it, Luella had put him in the best school in New York for deaf students. There were a total of sixty students, and all of them were from well-off families. Finnick had given me a full report of everything relative to either of them. Any money Luella earned was spent paying off debts or taking care of Alaric. His voice wasn’t even bad, it was loud, and he slurred some of the words, but with practice, that would go away.

  “I don’t tell Mommy because I don’t want her to work more.”

  I panicked, sitting up.

  “Do you know what she does?” He wasn’t sure what I’d said, so I repeated it.

  “She cooks, but she sometimes has to go away for a long time.”

  I heard the door behind me close. I poked my head out the bathroom door and saw fresh clothes were laid on the bed for him.

  She’d heard.

  I sat back down next to the tub.

  He stared at me, confused. “What?”

  “Nothing. You and I will talk every night, with our mouths and hands.”

  He held out a hand, and we shook.

  “When you start school, they will regret messing with my kid. But don’t be sad about signing.”

  He grinned, flexing to show me his muscles, and I couldn’t help but laugh.

  “Those are good but”—I tapped his forehead—“that’s how you get people not to mess with you. Always be smart.”

 
; I should talk. My hands still ached from beating the shit out of Hugh, but it was a pain well worth it.

  He stayed in for another five minutes before I wrapped a towel around him and helped him dress. When he put his hearing aid back in, I thought he would go downstairs, but he followed me into my room, Hercules trotting behind him. They both climbed on my bed, where he said he would wait for me.

  I’d never taken a shower so quickly in my life. It was odd having people—family—waiting for you. When I came out, he was in my closet with his feet inside my shoes. He was amused by the size difference. I could watch him in awe all day. I grabbed a pair of jeans and a white T-shirt to wear before moving so he could see me.

  “Come on, little man,” I said and signed.

  He showed me how to sign it correctly. “Little boss.”

  “Well, excuse me.”

  He moved down the stairs with Hercules, holding onto the railing as he went. He waved to the maids cleaning the front of the house before running to the kitchen, Hercules now running beside him.

  “Wow,” I muttered to myself when I entered what had once been my spotless kitchen.

  For the most part, it was for show, the cook used a secondary kitchen. I’d never seen anyone slice onions so quickly, sliding them into the pot before spinning and pouring mix into cupcake trays.

  “Soup and cupcakes?” Alaric signed, his mouth dropping open.

  She put down the mixing bowl. “Yep. Vanilla cupcakes for dessert. Go play. I’ll fetch you when it’s done.”

  He hugged her legs. Food really was the key to his heart. He ran off with Hercules.

  The moment he was gone, she turned and placed a tray in the oven then grabbed carrots and chopped them as fast as she had the onions. I couldn’t deny she looked stunning. She had mix on her face, apron, and hands, but she looked like a mother. A panicking mother.

  “Lulu, I know you heard what he said upstairs.”

  She went still, holding the cutting knife tightly.

  Maybe I shouldn’t distract her.

  “I was made fun of for being a slow reader. They called me retarded and pushed me around, and to this day, I can still remember every one of their faces.” She chopped angrily. The poor carrots never had a chance. “When it came time to send him to school, I told myself I didn’t care how much it cost or what I had to do, my son was going to get the best damn education possible. At Ford Academy, every teacher there caters to deaf children. Hell, half the teachers are deaf. They are a bit snobbish, I’m the single working mother while most of them come from rich families and have private drivers. But they help their students feel like they’re just as much a part of society as others. But now I hear he’s being bullied. I shouldn’t have put him there.”