A SEAL’s Desire

by Seton, Cora

  “I left home.”

  Renata cocked her head. “Most people leave home,” she observed.

  “Most people don’t grow up on a commune.”

  A smile twitched her lips, and he relaxed a little, although walking was still uncomfortable. Damn the camera crew. If they hadn’t shown up, who knew what he and Renata might be doing right now? Best not to think about that too much.

  “Tell me about the commune. Was it like people picture them to be?” she asked.

  “Damn straight.” Greg remembered this was Renata he was speaking to. She’d have researched him back when she came to Base Camp. She was asking these questions for the cameras. “A certifiable Oregon commune. It was a big farm.”

  “Kind of like Base Camp,” Renata pointed out.

  “Base Camp is situated on a ranch,” he corrected her. “Greenside is a lot different.”

  “How many people lived on this commune?”

  “About eighty-five. Roughly nineteen families.”

  Renata whistled. “And this was an egalitarian commune? Or was there some kind of guru running it?”

  “No guru,” Greg told her, knowing all of this would end up on the show. “Just a few savvy leaders who made sure everyone involved knew all about consensus building and the democratic process.” Those lessons had been drummed into him and every other kid on the place. That didn’t mean they all acted like saints, though.

  Far from it.

  “Each year various committees set mission statements and goals, and everyone talked them over, hashed out their differences and voted on them. We did our best to come up with a consensus. Didn’t always work out.”

  “If it was so idyllic, why did you want to leave?”

  “Because it was too idyllic. Too boring for a kid who was raring for some adventures.”

  “But now you’re back in a commune,” Renata pointed out.

  “Ironic, huh?” Greg shoved his gloved hands into his jacket pockets, wishing they were alone rather than talking about this stuff. The crew trailed after them, spoiling the romance of the intermittently moonlit night.

  “What made you decide to join Base Camp?” Renata sounded genuinely curious. She wouldn’t have been able to discover the answer to that in her research. Greg had never told anyone.

  “A girl.”

  “A girl?” Renata wasn’t sure how to take that, and her surprise made her gruff. Had Greg come here chasing some other woman? Or had he been running from one? Somehow she’d thought she was the only one he’d been interested in since coming here. Right from the start she’d noticed the way he watched her—

  But she could have mistaken necessity for something more.

  The way he’d been kissing her when the crew arrived, though—

  “It’s more complicated than it sounds,” Greg went on. “But the girl shows up a couple of times in my story. In my senior year of college, I took a semester abroad. That’s when I met her. It was during a kind of crisis.”

  He was watching her now, making sure she was following the story. He shouldn’t have worried; she couldn’t help but hang on every word.

  “We were thrown together. I knew her for only one night, and then I had to leave. I didn’t think I’d ever see her again.”

  Renata nodded. She knew what crises were like. So intense you focused on one thing at a time. If you met someone in those conditions, you’d remember them for a lifetime—if you noticed them at all. After the crisis in Peru was over, she’d realized she could hardly remember anything about it except the girls in her care. She must have talked to a hundred people that first night, trying to find word about their families, but she didn’t remember a single face.

  “Anyway,” Greg continued after a moment, “after that, I decided I wanted to do something meaningful. I wanted to be a man who knew what to do in a crisis. I joined the Navy.”

  She nodded. That made sense. A young man would think that becoming strong and powerful would make a difference.

  “After a number of years, I was ready for a change, and I’d realized that the kind of natural disaster that inspired my decision so many years ago was only going to get more common if we didn’t do something about climate change. I heard about Base Camp—”

  “And you didn’t think twice about the communal aspects?” Renata pushed.

  “Oh, I thought twice, believe me. But I figured I could handle it.”

  “Where does the girl come in? You said she figured in your story a few times.” It hurt to ask the question, but she did it anyway. If there was someone else in the picture, it would make it easier to stay away from Greg.

  Greg’s gaze held hers for a moment. He shook his head, a half smile tugging at his mouth. “Heard she was in the neighborhood” was all he said.

  “And yet you keep kissing me.” She didn’t mean to sound so bitter. Hell, this would end up on the show, too.

  “And yet I keep kissing you,” Greg agreed. “Funny how life works, isn’t it?”

  He drew her close and kissed her again.

  “You look like a fish when you’re kissing, Renata. Can’t you be sexier?”

  Clem’s voice cut through the night air like a buzz saw, and Renata nearly leaped out of Greg’s arms. She drew a shaking hand over her mouth as if she could wipe away the evidence of the kiss, sure she was flushing. Thank goodness it was dark.

  “Ignore him,” Greg murmured, stepping closer again. “He’s jealous.”

  She hated the way Clem kept getting under her guard, the epitome of every bully she’d faced in her years in foster care.

  “It’s late.” She wriggled out of Greg’s arms, threaded through the crew and walked swiftly back the way they’d come, moonlight illuminating the track well enough, although the snow made the footing treacherous. She heard the huff and puff of the crew working to keep up, mild swearing behind her probably meaning someone had slipped.

  “Renata, wait.”

  She hurried on, and they were nearly to the bunkhouse by the time Greg caught up to her, took her arm and walked with her. “You can’t let him get to you.”

  “He does get to me, though,” she admitted almost in a whisper.

  “I know. He’s an annoying ass, but don’t let Clem ruin… us.”

  Before she could answer, Avery stepped out of the bunkhouse.

  “Renata, Greg, there you are. Come in—there’s an announcement.”

  “Another one?” Greg asked.

  They picked up their pace and followed Avery inside to find the rest of the members of Base Camp already gathered.

  “Thanks for interrupting your evening for this,” Kai said. “There will be snacks in order to make it up to you!”

  A little cheer went up from the gathered crowd. Late-night snacks weren’t the norm.

  “We have some special news to share,” Addison said, clinging to Kai’s hand. “Of course a few other people beat us to the punch. I’m looking at you, Eve and Samantha!”

  “If you haven’t already guessed,” Kai said. “We’re…”

  “Pregnant!” Addison blurted. “Come and eat!”

  The two of them picked up platters of canapes and began to pass them around, even as the others thronged around them to give them their congratulations. Renata spotted homemade smoked bison topped with homemade cheese, among other things.

  “That looks good,” Greg took a couple of the appetizers from the tray as Kai passed. Renata took one, too, but she wasn’t really hungry.

  Another baby.

  Another happy couple.

  “Things are looking up around here,” Greg said.

  They were—for everyone else.

  “What are you looking for?” Greg asked Walker the next morning when he found the man going through shelves and cupboards in the bunkhouse. He’d finished his daily check in of the energy systems and ducked inside to warm up before his next task.

  “A ceremonial fan,” Walker said. “Need it in a couple of weeks. Can’t find it anywhere.”


  “Is it valuable?” He hated to ask. Of course something like that would have all kinds of significance to Walker and his family. He had no idea what the protocol was when something like that went missing.

  “Passed down in my family for eight generations.”

  “Hell.” Greg got to work helping him look, figuring he’d know a ceremonial fan when he saw one, even if he’d never seen one before. “Where’s the last place you saw it?”

  “My bag. With my other things.”

  All of the men had large duffel bags they used for storage until they married and got their own tiny houses. It was a drag living out of your luggage for months, but as SEALs they had been through far worse. Life at Base Camp was downright cushy compared to that.

  “Who would go through your bag?” Another dumb question. Their food had been raided. Their energy systems messed with.

  Walker didn’t bother to answer. When they’d searched every corner of the bunkhouse and kitchen, Greg walked him to the door. “Sorry, man. I’ll keep an eye out for it.”

  “Grandmother’s going to freak out.”

  Greg pictured the taciturn woman in his mind. That would be something to see. He’d heard about the time Sue laid into Walker at the grocery store early on during their time at Base Camp. She hadn’t been happy about him spending time with Avery.

  “You ever straighten things out with the woman she wanted you to marry?” He’d never asked Walker such a personal question. Wasn’t sure the man would answer it.

  Angus, who’d just walked into the main room from the kitchen, raised his eyebrows, obviously listening in to their conversation.

  Walker shook his head. “Soon.”

  “You’d better get on that,” Angus said testily. “After Greg marries Renata, it’s just you and me, and I’m not going next, so you’d better be ready to marry Avery.”

  Something like pain flashed over Walker’s face, and Greg’s gut tightened. Surely the man wasn’t going to ditch Avery after stringing her along for months?

  “Get it sorted out,” Angus repeated.

  Walker nodded again and headed outside. Off to search somewhere else, Greg figured. He didn’t know if he should follow and offer to help.

  “What a damn mess,” Angus said, watching the door shut. “Him and me both. Hell of a way to end this thing.”

  “You’ll marry, though, right? When the time comes?” Greg pressed him. They were all screwed if he didn’t.

  “I will if you will. What if Renata says no?”

  “I’ll marry,” Greg assured him through gritted teeth. It might kill him, but he’d do it. He’d never let the others down.

  “I’ll marry, too,” Angus said darkly. “But I bloody well won’t like it, will I?”

  He stormed out of the bunkhouse before Greg could answer.

  Clem’s chuckle made Greg’s fingers flex. He hadn’t noticed the director in the kitchen doorway, but he kept his anger under control and headed out to his own chores.

  At lunchtime, they were all back at the bunkhouse again, and Greg was sitting with Avery and Renata.

  “This is really good,” Avery said, swallowing a bite of homemade pizza.

  “It is,” Renata agreed.

  Greg had no idea how Kai had managed to make the crust without flour. If he wasn’t mistaken, there was a lot of cheese in it, but he couldn’t place the rest of the ingredients.

  Avery leaned closer to Renata and asked in a low voice, “Do you think every woman on this ranch is pregnant except me?”

  “I’m not,” Renata assured her. She refused to meet Greg’s gaze when he tried to catch hers, but he’d seen her frown when Kai and Addison had made their announcement, and he was sure she wanted a family of her own. Did she simply not want to start one with him, or was there something else keeping her from going after it?

  “If this pizza wasn’t so damn good I’d lose my appetite,” Avery said darkly. “I’m going to be the only one at the end of this show unmarried, childless and alone.”

  “A lot of women spent their lives fighting for the right to be that very thing,” Renata told her tartly.

  “They spent their lives fighting for the choice,” Avery corrected her. “I’m choosing to want to settle down and be with—” She broke off, and her shoulders slumped. “Maybe I do need to ask Boone to find me a backup husband.”

  “Walker will come around,” Greg assured her. “He’s just distracted right now. He can’t find that ceremonial fan of his.”

  Renata frowned. Avery nodded. “I know. It’s killing him.” She toyed with her food. “Do you think Clem took it?”

  Renata’s frown deepened, and Greg wondered if she knew anything about the theft. He didn’t like to think of her participating in anything like that, but the crew had messed with them before. Maybe Renata needed some encouragement to put a stop to it. “I don’t know, but if he did, he’s messing with the wrong man. Walker seems all mild-mannered—until he isn’t,” Greg said. “And once he’s mad, you don’t want to be anywhere near him.”

  “You served with him?” Avery asked.

  “For a while,” Greg said. “We didn’t get to know each other too well, but there was a real troublemaker serving with us. The guy was messed up. Stole cash from all of us. Had a habit he couldn’t kick. He took this little statue thing Walker had. Something a relative had sent him—didn’t look like it was worth anything, but this guy must have thought it was. Walker caught him. One minute the guy was standing there holding it. Next he was on the ground, and Walker had it back. None of us even saw Walker move—and I’m talking a room full of highly trained men.” Navy SEALs, in other words. “Kid was transferred asap after that. I doubt Walker made the complaint—someone else did, but Walker was a guy you wanted happy. Worth five of anyone else, and everybody knew it. You don’t want to be on the wrong side of him.”

  “That sounds like a threat,” Renata commented dryly. She was watching Avery, Greg realized. Was she trying to send the young woman a message? Hinting that Walker wasn’t an ideal partner? Or trying to cover her own tracks?

  Greg didn’t want to be the one who got between Avery and Walker. No matter what obligations the man was trying to sort through, it was obvious Walker cared for Avery. “All I’m saying is he’ll forgive just about anything, help just about anyone, unless you cross that line. His family comes first. His heritage. You mess with that, and all bets are off.”

  Renata was still watching Avery, who had twisted her hands together, but as Kai walked past, Avery straightened her shoulders and turned to him. “Terrific pizza.”

  “Wanted to keep celebrating our good news.” He clapped Greg on the shoulder. “You’d better hurry up if you want to be part of the babypalooza around here.”

  He kept going, leaving an awkward silence behind him. “Hear that?” Greg drawled, trying to make a joke of it. “We need to hurry up.”

  Renata was focused on Avery again, who was watching Walker across the room.

  “Walker will come around,” Greg assured Avery. “He’s crazy about you.”

  That got her attention. “You think?”

  “I’m sure of it.”

  “But will that be enough?”

  “They kicked it over?” Renata asked early the following morning. She’d just gotten dressed and found Byron gathering his camera equipment to film something outdoors.

  “It’s on its side,” Byron confirmed. “All of them are.”

  “Maybe it was the wind,” Addison said, pulling on her spencer. She’d arrived at the bunkhouse only moments ago, but apparently she meant to go back outside and assess the damage. An icy breeze was whipping in fits and starts around the building, rattling the windows.

  “Who even uses the composting toilets anymore?” Avery asked, joining them. “The outside ones, I mean.”

  “The guys do sometimes when there’s a line in here and the outside ones are closer than their tiny houses.”

  Renata pulled on her spencer, too, and headed outside
with the others. Byron was right; the closest composting toilet stall had been knocked over. Presumably the composting toilet itself was on its side in there as well.

  She shivered in the cold breeze. The tiny houses the married couples lived in had their own composting toilets. The bunkhouse and the manor had flush toilets and presumably septic fields. In the beginning, before the tiny houses had been built, several other composting toilets had been placed around the property in outhouse-style stalls. Avery was right, though; she doubted they saw much use these days.

  “Someone’s getting desperate for our attention,” Renata said.

  “It wasn’t you?” Byron asked.

  “Why on earth would I knock over composting toilets?”

  “For attention, like you said!” Clem boomed behind her.

  Renata jumped but didn’t turn around. The ass had snuck up on her.

  “I don’t need attention. I’m getting plenty of it,” she said. A crowd was gathering around them, including Greg, who ran a hand over a stubble-covered jawline as he took in the overturned stall.

  “I think it’s strange the way everything started going wrong when you began to spend your nights here,” Clem went on, loudly enough for everyone to hear. “You’d think you’d find something more interesting to do than slip outside and knock over toilets, but maybe Greg’s not man enough to keep you occupied at night.”

  “Fuck off,” Greg said cordially. He threaded through the onlookers to Renata’s side. “You been tipping toilets?”

  “No.” Her teeth were chattering in the cold, but she refused to stand down.

  He chuckled at her frustrated tone. “It was probably Clem.”

  “Probably,” she agreed, although she couldn’t imagine Clem being willing to do physical work. “This is getting out of control. I’m calling Fulsom.” She moved away before placing the call, and as soon as Fulsom’s secretary, Julie, patched her through, she said, “Your boy Clem is making a real nuisance of himself. He’s damaging property now. Did you know that?”

  “Good morning to you, too, Renata.”

  She wasn’t wasting her time with niceties, gripping her phone to her ear and turning her back on the wind. “He’s a menace. You know it’s only a matter of time before he steps over a line. You know what he did on Tracking the Stars. You saw our video.” Clem had been fired from his last job for assaulting a female crew member.