“But I still have to go,” his continued, his voice catching on the last word. I shook my head, not wanting him to leave, but he continued. “I can’t make you go with me. I see that now.”
“Zale,” I mumbled, my head still tucked under his chin.
He pulled back and I gathered my courage to look at him. His eyes were soft, but a pain that pulled at my heart filled them. “I realize you can never love me as much as him. That this,” he waved his hand between us, “was only a dream.”
“No it isn’t,” I shook my head fervently.
“I wish I could believe that,” his words pulled at my very soul.
“Forget what I said.” I pleaded, and he looked away. “Please don’t leave me. You don’t have to go back to him.”
“But I do,” he said and there was a hint of regret in his voice. He stood up slowly, his eyes still focused on the window.
Without thinking, I stood up and grabbed his hand. My limbs shook and there was a great thrum in my skull that was getting stronger by the second, but when he turned to me the pain left. A soft smile tugged at the side of his mouth.
“You shouldn’t be standing.” Was all he said, but I didn’t listen. I knew he would leave and somehow felt it would be a very long time until I would see him again. My hand reached for his head and drew him down to me. At first he resisted and then gave in with a deep passion, his arms encircling me tightly. Shooting spasms flashed up and down my left shoulder and pain radiated over the bruises along my back and ribs, but I shoved it aside, grasping on to this moment, knowing it could be our last.
He drew back from me, his breath heavy against my lips. “I guess this is goodbye then.”
“Please don’t say that,” I told him. “How can I make you stay?”
He sighed heavily, “I have to leave.”
I nodded, finally giving into his intentions and realizing they really were true. “So are we enemies now?” I had to ask, unsure of what would come.
“No,” he said as he leaned in for another kiss. “I could never hate you.”
“Nor I you.”
“This isn’t goodbye forever,” he said, and my eyes snapped back up to his. “You have a birthday coming up.” As he spoke of the dreaded day, when all safety for my life would be gone, my heart pinched fearfully.
“I’ll see you then,” he promised and kissed me on the head. I closed my eyes knowing he would leave me soon. Gently, he scooped me up and placed me back on my bed, my head touched the pillow and his hand rested next to my cheek once more. I leaned into his palm, my eyes locking with his.
“I love you,” he said.
“I love you too,” the words finally fell from my lips and with them my heart rose. A soft spark lit his eyes for a moment and I had the feeling he wanted to stay. He squeezed my hand and bent to kiss me once more before leaving the room without another glance.
In my mind, I replayed his confirmation of love and the guilt in my heart lightened. Maybe it was enough to overcome the past, and yet I knew it wasn’t. My response had been the same as his words, but what he didn’t know were my true feelings. I had said I loved him, but there was more to it than that.
As I rolled onto my side I mouthed my confirmation again, but this time the words, “More than you know,” fell from my lips.
Epilogue
Days passed without me really acknowledging their existence. I was alive in body, but my heart and soul were nowhere to be found, lost somewhere with the warrior on Hyvar.
Every day had passed with a similar routine; Elik would visit and make sure I was settled in the cabin for the rest of the day. He would talk to me, but I wasn’t very good company. After he left, I would work on regaining my strength. At first I was only able to walk about the cabin before succumbing to the pains wracking my body, but as time passed, I was able to venture out onto the island, stumbling my way to different places that only made the yearning in my heart more painful. Yet, I didn’t seem to care. In some way the pain helped me regain my strength. It forced me to focus on what the future held, and somehow I knew this was only the beginning.
With the passage of time, I was able to walk all the way to the waterfall, but the place held little comfort for me in the loss of the one merman I wanted to see. There was even a day I spent searching for my dagger. I hadn’t seen it since the night of Bolrock’s attack and couldn’t find it anywhere in the clearing.
By the time I was healed enough for Kryssa to visit without the suspicion of my former bruises, my mind was made up. I knew I would return home as the king suggested, and I waited for the right day to tell Kryssa and leave this merfolk world behind, if only for the time being.
She visited me regularly, keeping me in the loop about the goings on in Lathmor and entertaining me as we walked from one end of the island to the other. There was a distance between us and I knew she felt it too. A part of me wanted to tell her what had happened, but I had promised Tunder I wouldn’t speak of Zale to anyone. It was a small sacrifice to make when in return Tunder had promised to send for me if Zale was captured by the Lathmorians. Just the thought of such a thing happening made my stomach knot in a painful ball.
We were on one of our normal walks, passing through the now padded down grass from our earlier treks when Kryssa stopped talking. I realized I hadn’t been listening to a word she was saying and played with the zipper on the jacket I now wore. It was a nuisance to have on, but I couldn’t let her see the scar which ran from my shoulder down to my elbow.
“I have to head back,” she said softly beside me and jerked her head in the direction of Lathmor.
“Okay,” I nodded and she turned to leave, “Wait.” I called.
She turned back to me, her eyes tired. The change in our friendship was evident, each conversation was careful and I often felt as though it was scripted. She avoided asking any personal questions and I did the same with her. But for just this once, I craved what we used to have and wanted to let her in.
“I’m leaving tomorrow,” I said and felt my chest rise and fall with each breath. Now that I had said the words out loud, they seemed more certain, alive and true. Kryssa pursed her lips. “I’m going home. There are reasons for my leaving, and I truly wish I could tell you, but I can’t. I’m sorry.”
She nodded her head, “It’s all right.” When she looked away, I felt the distance was greater than it had been before. Feeling ridiculous, I stepped closer to her and wrapped my arms around her.
“I’ll miss you though,” I said and she squeezed me back; the pressure smarting on my newly healed wounds. “Please don’t risk yourself by coming to visit me though, I’d be too worried about you.”
She laughed gently and pulled back, small pools of water rested in her eyes. “Take care of yourself.”
“You too,” I smiled back, squinting in the sun.
“Bye,” she said and I nodded at her farewell.
She walked toward the trees and was just within their shade when she turned once more. “Does Tunder know you’re leaving?”
“No. And I would prefer it if you wouldn’t tell him until I’ve already left.” I said and she nodded. “Tell him to speak with your father if he needs answers.”
Even from where I stood, I saw Kryssa’s eyes widen suddenly. Then she nodded her head once more and smiled. I waved and she took off into the trees toward the ocean.
The next morning I left for home.
_______________
At home, the weeks passed by quickly as they had before. I had once more set about rebuilding relationships with my family, but there was a sadness when I was around them. This time, I knew I wasn’t going to be here for long. My birthday was coming closer with each passing minute and I had until then to spend time with them.
In the moments during my travel home, I had realized something which lingered with me still. Zale, he was the only one who could truly understand what I was going through. He was the only one that I felt close to and yet I miles away from him. To simply h
ave him near me, to feel his arms around me and be tucked into his embrace was enough of a thought to make my eyes well with tears. Sometimes, during my shift at the restaurant, I found my thoughts drifting toward him and I yearned for his presence.
The same feeling had occurred over and over each morning upon waking, until one morning I found a note on my bedside table. The little piece of paper was like a weight in my pocket as I finished up my shift at the restaurant, and nervous jitters filled my stomach. Six-thirty couldn’t come soon enough.
“Are you finished with your tables?” Jillian came up behind me. The gift shop was already shut down for the night, although the restaurant hummed with patrons. Luckily, I wasn’t closing tonight.
“Yes,” I said and turned to look at her. Her eyes were soft, always so happy to see me. She and my father had been so open to me coming home once more. Somehow I knew they always would be, no matter what, there was always a place for me to live and be happy. There was nothing in this world that could replace a love like that.
“Good, because I am hungry and dinner is waiting for us at home,” she said and rubbed her stomach in hunger.
I smiled, “Me too, but there’s something I have to do before I head home.”
Her eyebrows rose, “Do you need a ride?”
I shook my head, “No, I can walk but I’ll be home soon.”
“Okay,” she said and touched my arm gently. I watched her leave and waited for her to shut the door. My eyes immediately flashed to the clock and I let out a anxious sigh. It was time.
I hung up my apron and slipped out the door into the breezy summer night air. Walking quickly, I headed up the hill toward my house but veered to the right and onto the path that led to the ocean. I reached into my back pocket and pulled out the little slip of paper. My heart thudded heavily in my chest looking at the familiar scrawl. Finally, I would see him.
Meet me tonight. 6:30 on the beach.
Reading the words once more only made my feet move faster, knowing he would be there. It seemed like ages since I had last seen him.
I dashed down the hill, sliding at the bottom, and began to jog to where he had taught me how to throw my dagger. A silly smile spread across my face as I passed the rocks that would reveal our spot. It came into sight and my eyes roved over to the large body that stood directly across from me. Like a punch to my gut, I noted the dark hair and gray calculating eyes.
“You’re late.” Morven said nonchalantly.
He shrugged and pushed off of the rock he’d been leaning against and walked toward me. Each step brought him closer and I could feel the pressure of his presence surround me like a cage.
“Stay away from me,” I said and was surprised by how harsh my own voice sounded.
He chuckled, “I see Zale has rubbed off on you.” I started at his words and one of his eyebrows rose as he cocked his head to the side. “Yes, I know about you two.”
His gaze was conniving, reading my reaction and I got the feeling he was waiting for me to tell him something.
“I don’t know what you are talking about.” I said and shrugged.
“Oh,” doubt filled his voice. “So you just plan to meet someone on the beach without knowing who they are?”
I knew he had me there, but didn’t care. “So what if I do?” I said, not really wanting an answer.
He laughed once more, as though all of this was amusing. I flexed my fingers, wishing my blades would somehow appear. For once, I wanted to be able to hurt him the way he had hurt me, the way he had hurt Patrick. He seemed unfazed by the hostility radiating off me.
“Why are you here?” I asked loudly.
He pursed his lips while his eyes roved over me, the golden tint of the sun flickered off his hair, casting shadows over his face. “I want to know where Zale is.”
My brow furrowed, “But I thought—”, thinking quickly I broke off before I said something I would regret.
“You thought he was in Hyvar?” Morven asked and didn’t wait for my answer. He turned his head to look out across the golden reflected ocean, streaks of pink were beginning to form on the horizon. In his eyes I saw a cloud of worry, was it possible Zale had left Hyvar? Was the control Morven had over him finally gone? My heart leapt into my throat, pounding, and waiting for Morven to clarify what I now thought to be true.
“I think you know where he is.” His eyes snapped back to mine and once more I felt a shiver run through me.
“Funny, you aren’t the first to ask me that recently.” I snapped back at him.
“Ahh,” he said nodding his head slightly. “Well, Bolrock deserved what he got.”
I froze, how did he know how Bolrock had died? I tried to remember back to the island. Zale had killed all that were there. How could he possibly know, unless Zale had told Morven himself?
“Yes,” he said in response to my silence. “I know all about what happened that night. I was glad to hear you were still alive. Couldn’t have you killed and ruin all my plans,” he chuckled again. “Zale told me everything. How Bolrock attacked you, how you were nearly killed, but he saved you just in time. It was all very touching.” Morven held a hand to his heart, always the one to mock me. I tried to ignore the rising anger that made my blood boil. My scar, ran from the top of my shoulder to my left elbow, tingled with the remembrance of the flashing blades crashing down upon it.
“The funny part is,” he continued, not taking the hint I didn’t want to hear any of this, “Zale didn’t even know I had planned it all.”
My eyes widened as I listened to his words. He chuckled and that evil grin spread over his thin lips.
“Of course, Zale thought he was working on his own,” Morven clicked his tongue, “but he was only allowed to do what he wanted, because I let him.” I trembled as the realization of what he was saying hit me like a blow to my gut. All along, he had known about Zale’s betrayal. It all seemed so simple now. The only reason Zale had been able to see me was because Morven had let him. If he had really wanted to, Morven could have kept Zale from coming to me. Somehow it all made sense, as though I had known all along, everything had been too coincidental.
“Then why keep him alive?” I challenged, knowing I was playing with fire.
His cold vicious lips pulled back to reveal his even teeth. “Bolrock was getting in the way, constantly saying Zale was causing problems. But I knew he was really betraying me, him and all of his men. So I agreed to attack Lathmor. I knew it wouldn’t hurt us as much as it would them, and I hoped Bolrock would be gone in the process.”
I stared at Morven in horror, as he confessed to me how easily he got rid of those who served him. Although, as I thought back on it, Bolrock really had put himself in trouble when he began to doubt Morven’s plans. Had he really thought he could have changed this monster’s mind?
“Although it didn’t happen quite like that, the result was the same.” He shrugged once more as though it was all so trivial. The many lives of the Lathmorians that had been lost in the process were merely nothing.
“I’m just glad you didn’t meet the same result as him,” he said and actually sounded relieved, although, I knew it wasn’t for me, but for what he wanted me to become. “You’re lucky Zale saved you the night of the Lathmor attack.” He stepped closer and his hand reached toward my face but I slapped it away. The gleam in his eyes grew brighter as he reached for me with both hands and pulled me up against his body. I struggled, using all my strength to try and wiggle away from him, but it didn’t work. He only grasped me harder.
“I have had enough of you toying with me.” He said roughly against my face. Fear was shooting through every part of my body. I gathered a good scream in my throat and waited to use it but his hand clamped down over my mouth. I screeched against it anyway.
“Don’t worry dear. I won’t be causing you any harm tonight, nor do I want anything from you. I have plenty of willing mermaids.” His lips brushed my cheek and I shuddered. “Although it won’t be too much longer before
you will be begging to serve me, isn’t that right Marina?”
My breath caught and my heart throbbed painfully as I realized the truth of his words. If he did to me what had been done to Patrick, I would be just as he said. Tears of fear sprang into my eyes and he pulled back, a look of total satisfaction on his face.
“Until then,” once more he brushed his lips over my skin and I tried not to lash out at him. He released me and walked a few steps away; my breath came in short aching gasps.
“Oh,” he said and turned back to look at me. “If Zale happens to drop by, I will know. We’ll be watching, until your special day.” Without another glance, he turned on his heel and dashed into the water.
For a moment I was too stunned to even move, but when I finally did, it was upon shaky legs. I wobbled my way over to the old tree trunk that had hundreds of slices in it. Sitting down, I tried to calm the panic that was rising within me. Somehow it all seemed as though it was going to end badly. Zale and I would never be together again. Even the thought of that happening, caused me to flinch in agony. After having lost Patrick, I didn’t think I could lose Zale too.
With a stronger amount of courage than I realized I possessed, my quavering body settled. It was only a matter of time before I was ready to return to the real world and I would figure out what needed to be done later.
I straightened and was just about to turn back to the path that led to home when I saw something flicker out of the corner of my eye. Turning, I gasped loudly as I saw my dagger sticking out of the log. My fingers grasped it and the familiar comfort of the strength it gave me filled my heart with courage. Yet, something about the dagger felt different. I turned it to the other side and inhaled deeply, once more. A carving grazed the handle and I ran my fingers over it.
Two tails, one merman and one mermaid intertwined closely to create a twisted pattern. The scales were elegantly defined and I found myself smiling while looking at it. He remembered the waterfall and treasured it as much as I did. With a stronger hand, I grasped the dagger more firmly and realized what all of this meant.
Ripples (DROPLETS Trilogy Book 2) Page 31