The Crazy One

by Rebecca Markus

  She could imagine him there with her so strongly she thought she smelled his mixture of cologne and perspiration. Although she'd never met him in person, she knew what he smelled like. She'd once read an interview in a teen magazine where he'd been asked what kind of cologne he likes to wear. Eros by Versace. The next day she’d bought a bottle. The throw pillow she was now clutching had been sprayed with it. All she had to do was squeeze it tight and watch every move Beau made on TV.

  Beau's segment was over and she was ready to put in his concert DVD. She let the Late Show run while she retrieved the disc. The next guest was now sitting on the couch making the host and the audience laugh. Lucy recognized him but didn't know his name.

  Normally he wore a suit and held a microphone while he hosted various TV specials with a larger-than-life personality. Now he was the one being hosted. He was funny and humble and a little self-deprecating. And he was cute. He wasn't hot like Beau Castle–he didn't have tattooed biceps or an edgy haircut–but he had a sweet face and an infectious smile. He looked like the stereotypical guy you'd like to take home to your mother. She rewound back to the beginning of his interview.

  "Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome Joel Ruskin." Applause. He walked out–big, colorful tennis shoes under black dress pants–and his smile seemed to beam even brighter than Beau's. He sat and was questioned as per the formula.

  "So, you're single, Joel." Cheers and hollers from the ladies in the audience.

  "Yes, yes." Shakes his head. Bashful smile.

  "I hear you're quite popular with the moms." More whoops from the crowd.

  "I am. They try to fix me up with their daughters."

  "Is that right?"

  "I get several messages a day from moms who think I'd be the perfect son-in-law."

  "Well, you're very non-threatening. Do they just get you online, or does it happen in person, too?"

  "Sometimes they stop me on the street and try to push their daughters onto me, like literally."

  "Are the daughters on board?"

  "Not always." Roars of laughter.

  She paused the show to study Joel's face. He was mid-laugh and looking toward the camera. She imagined he was laughing at something she'd said. They'd just met and he thought she was fascinating. But, he'd better be careful. She was here with Beau Castle. And Beau could be possessive.

  The interview resumed at the push of the button.

  "Beau was telling us he enjoys all those Hollywood parties. Are you the same way?"

  Joel scrunched up his nose and gave an awkward smile to the audience.

  "I’m not so sure," he said. "I usually feel awkward around all those famous people. I don’t feel like I’m one of them."

  Her heart leapt. He was saying he was socially awkward, just like her.

  "You are. Of course you are."

  "I know." He shifted on his seat. "But I feel like an imposter. I never know how to act. I’m faking it most of the time."

  The crowd laughed and applauded.

  "I’ve heard you have a few favorite charities."

  "I do," Joel replied and nodded. "I’m active with the ASPCA."

  "Ah, you love the animals."

  "I love the animals, yes. I care very much about their treatment."

  "And you support cancer research."

  Joel nodded. He looked toward the camera. Lucy’s hand pressed to her heart. Could this man be real? He was funny and smart and loved animals. The next bit of information pushed her from mere interest to infatuation.

  "It says here you recently visited a young fan at St. Jude’s hospital."

  Joel nodded again and grinned modestly. The crowd cheered and whistled.

  "I did. His teacher had contacted someone who got in touch with me and we made it happen."

  "But you didn’t stop there."

  A picture of Joel surrounded by children in a hospital flashed onto the screen. They were smiling at the photo opportunity. It was all overwhelming. Suddenly he was like some kind of knight that had swooped into her life and saved the day.

  "That’s right. I saw a lot of kids that day. I didn’t know that many would know me, but they did. We ended up spending all day at St. Jude’s. It was a really great…" he stuttered, "…great experience."

  By the time she crawled into bed it was ten after one in the morning. She stared at the red digits on her bedside clock, feeling them burn into her retinas, waiting for the final zero to turn to a one. When it finally read 1:11, she squeezed her eyes shut tight, turned her head, and opened them only when she knew the red glow wouldn’t invade her peripheral vision and make her start all over again.

  As tired as she was, her mind raced too much for sleep. She'd spent the evening researching Joel Ruskin online. His face was scorched into her mind. It appeared in the darkness in front of her.

  Was she a terrible person? She'd started the night with Beau and now here she was mooning over another man. What would Beau think if he found out he was being upstaged by someone down-to-earth like Joel? All of these new feelings nagged at her as she drifted to sleep.

  Joel Ruskin invaded her dream. He was talking to her on her mom and dad's living room couch. His words didn't make much sense, but it didn't matter. She was focusing on his smile. His teeth were slowly growing in brightness and she had to look away. She suggested they go upstairs to her old bedroom for a bite to eat.

  They walked separately to the wide staircase. But when she started to ascend the stairs Joel slipped his arm around her waist. They climbed the stairs side by side, arms clutching each other possessively. Joel's hand groped her hip as they kept climbing. Climbing. The stairs seemed to have no end. He turned his head and kissed the top of hers.

  Lucy was startled awake by thunder outside her bedroom window. She was back in her apartment. The room was pitch black except for the light of her alarm clock. Her heart was racing as if it might jump out of her chest and she was breathing heavily. It was easy to recognize this physical reaction. She was in love with Joel Ruskin and she knew there was no way she could shake it. She knew she didn't want to.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  Lucy’s Notebook

  Elijah,

  Thank you for letting me tell my side of the story. Below is a full account of my relationship with Joel Ruskin from beginning to end. I hope this gives you what you need for your book. I hope to see you soon.

  Lucy

  I met Joel Ruskin at a party. I was there with my rock star boyfriend Beau Castle. I wore a black, sequined dress that was short enough to show off my legs but not so short that a wrong move could show off everything. I still wasn't comfortable around all of these rich Hollywood people, being a nobody from Nebraska. My first drink hadn't taken the edge off enough for me to relax, so I was on the prowl for another.

  Beau was off somewhere talking to important people and I was standing alone, casually scanning the room for that next drink. I hadn't noticed Joel standing near me because, frankly, I didn't know who he was. To me, he was just another guy at the party not talking to anybody.

  A waiter walked between us carrying a tray with one martini. When I reached my hand up to grab it, so did Joel. He graciously offered it to me and we squabbled over it for a second while the poor waiter stood there, helpless. Finally, Joel took it from the tray and handed it to me.

  "You have to take it," he insisted. "Martinis make me uncomfortable."

  "Really? How so?" I chuckled at him and tilted my head in anticipation of his surely witty answer. His eyes were bright and his smile was infectious. He looked familiar, but I still couldn't place him.

  "I never know what to do with the olive." He tapped the end of the black stick that rested in my glass. "Is it just for decoration or is it cretinous for me to eat it?"

  I laughed out loud this time. Then I drew the stick from my drink and removed the olive with my teeth. I told him, "I guess you feel as out of place at these fancy parties as I do then."

  "Are you out of place?"

  "Just
a little bit."

  "Then you must be here with someone." His face still looked hopeful but dropped slightly when I nodded my head.

  "My boyfriend, Beau Castle." I motioned in the direction I thought Beau might have gone. I couldn't see him anywhere. Joel grinned and nervously shoved his hands into his pockets.

  "That Beau's always been a lucky man," Joel mused.

  "Do you know him?"

  "I've worked with him before." He clearly saw no recognition on my face because he said, "I'm sorry. I didn't introduce myself before I mischievously tried to steal your martini. I'm Joel Ruskin. I hosted a charity concert that Beau was involved in last year."

  I gasped and Joel's eyes lit up. I swear he smirked a little. Maybe I imagined it.

  "I know who you are," I said. Then I touched his arm. "I'm so sorry I didn't recognize you."

  "Were you there?"

  "No, but I watched on TV. You were great."

  That was the moment Beau decided to make his reentry. He slipped his arm around my waist and pulled me to his side as if claiming me as his own. He stretched out his other arm to shake Joel's hand.

  "Good to see you, Ruskin," he said. "What are you up to these days?"

  "A little of this, a little of that."

  Beau and Joel had a short conversation. I didn't listen. Instead, I stood back and watched the two men, amused by how unalike they were. Joel was a relaxed-looking guy with unruly hair. He wore a button-down shirt with black pants and beat-up tennis shoes.

  Beau, on the other hand, wore short sleeves that showed off his mean tattoos and he had tons of gel in his bleached hair. They were as different as they could be. In fact, the whole room was full of an odd mixture of people who seemed very different from each other but were tied together by one common interest.

  After only a few minutes Joel excused himself to go find a drink, "since your girlfriend took the last martini." He winked at me and then hurried away.

  "What were you two talking about?" Beau put his arm around my waist again and gave me a squeeze.

  "Nothing. He introduced himself. He said he'd worked with you."

  "Ruskin is trying to move in on my girl," he teased. I rolled my eyes. His possessiveness got to me sometimes. I knew he fooled around when he was on tour, but I chose to pretend to ignore it. The fact that he ever got jealous was hardly fair.

  The rest of the party was loud and jumbled. Beau kept his arm around me the remainder of the time, as if he'd realized I might get away. He had nothing to say about leaving me standing alone for so long. I wasn’t sure how long it had been. When Joel had shown up I'd stopped keeping track.

  There was another moment when we were about to leave that Beau left me standing on my own again. Someone had swept him away for one last thing. I waited impatiently by the door, trying not to let my face show how badly I wanted to get out of there. Then Joel appeared and I suddenly didn't want to leave anymore.

  "I was just leaving," he said nervously. "I'm not stalking you."

  This made me laugh.

  "Beau ran off again," I explained. Then I whispered loudly, "I really am ready to get out of here."

  "I feel like a schmuck," Joel said. "I didn't get your name."

  "Lucy," I answered. I was smiling. I realized I'd been smiling most of the time when Joel had been around. A knot of guilt formed in my midsection and then dissipated. We were just talking, after all. There was no reason for Beau to worry.

  "Pretty name. Are you on Twitter, Lucy?" He pulled his smartphone from his breast pocket and swiped the screen. I told him how to find me there and I quickly heard the notification from my phone in my ridiculously tiny purse.

  "There," Joel said. "Now you can follow me and we're friends, as they say."

  I nodded and then laughed. We were friends. Just friends.

  CHAPTER FIVE

  Omaha – 2015

  Lucy discovered that Joel Ruskin was highly active on Twitter, so she set up an account for herself. She could get to know him in his own words. Most of his posts were funny, some were informative, some poignant, but all of them made her smile as if she were reading personal messages from a good friend.

  She was at work and Joni was going on about her crazy Saturday night while absently flipping through a Victoria's Secret catalog. Lucy put down her phone and listened intently so she could picture herself as part of Joni's story. She imagined herself cracking witty jokes and being the life of the party. Maybe Joni would be jealous of all the attention she was getting. Maybe she would finally see how cool and interesting Lucy was. Her emotions during these regular recaps swung between excitement and envy.

  One time she had gone to meet Joni at a club but had lost her less than an hour later when Joni slipped out the front door with a strange guy. She’d been left standing in the middle of the noisy and crowded club with a drink in each hand. It was as uncomfortable for her to be surrounded by scantily clad, self-assured people as it was to have the bass thumping in her ears and rocking her chest. She’d never fully forgiven Joni for that.

  When Joni finished her tale, she stared at Lucy who was lost again in her own thoughts. She'd let her mind go off on a tangent that involved her ditching Joni at the club instead of the other way around.

  Joni rolled her eyes.

  "So, what did you do Saturday night?"

  The worst thing in the world would be to let her think she didn't have a life of her own. She couldn't let on she had no social life outside the walls of the shopping mall. So she lied, kind of.

  "I went to a party."

  "Oh?" Joni leaned one hand on the counter and eyed her skeptically. Or maybe it was interest. Lucy was never good at reading people.

  "It was cool." She acted casual as if going to parties was like eating lunch or getting a haircut. "I met a guy. He's really funny."

  "Really?" She drew out the word to accentuate her interest. "What's his name?"

  "Joel." Lucy scratched her left arm which left a white streak on the skin. It tingled. She had to scratch the right one to even it out.

  "Is he hot?"

  "He's cute. He's not super hot, but he's nice and he's funny."

  "Hmm." Joni went back to her catalog. She wasn't the type who liked to hear tales of kind-of-cute guys who are funny. She liked the hot and suave types, preferably with muscles and cars with loud stereos.

  "We're just friends. It's no big deal." She wanted to backtrack. She should have said he was hot. But would Joni believe that? What hot guy would ever go for Lucy Bonneville? In fact, so far no guys had gone for her. There was her cousin's friend who'd gotten her virginity right after high school, but she'd never heard from him again so it didn't count for much. In her whole life, the only boyfriends she'd ever had were imaginary. Joni didn't need to know that.

  "Did you invite this guy to that Beau Castle concert tomorrow night?"

  "No. You want to go?" It was an empty invitation. She had only bought one ticket. She’d bought it the minute the pre-sale opened. She’d been waiting months to see him in the flesh. That was before she’d met Joel. Guilt began to gnaw at her, but Beau didn’t need to know her mind was on someone else. Still, she had to get to him. Maybe meeting Beau for real could cure her newest infatuation.

  Joni laughed. "Are you kidding? Two hours in the car with you singing Beau Castle songs? Pass."

  Lucy rolled her eyes, mimicking Joni’s attitude. It was a relief. She had plans beyond seeing him in concert. Joni would try to stop her.

  CHAPTER SIX

  Kansas City, Missouri – 2015

  Beau Castle and his band finished their final song and walked off stage, leaving their instruments behind. The lights didn't dim and the crowd didn't budge. Instead, they shouted a deafening roar for their mega-star hero because they knew the show wasn't over. Rock concerts never end without at least one encore anymore.

  While the crowd raged around her, Lucy commenced her mission. She squeezed down the row of cheering fans and out of the large arena. Around the back
of the building, she found a crowd of people who'd apparently had the same idea. Two large security guards were blocking the back doors. A few women in tight clothes were talking to them, but everyone else stood in an orderly group. Most of them were holding something they wanted the celebrity to sign. She silently joined them.

  A high fence surrounded the rear parking lot where four buses and a semi were parked. There was a gate directly behind the two guards. It was standing slightly open. Here was her opportunity. She crept closer to the edge of the group. One of the women was showing the guards her somewhat intimately placed tattoo. One slow step at a time positioned her behind one of the guards. No one in the group was paying any attention to her. It was a skill she'd been cursed with her whole life; she was a forgettable person and could go unnoticed because few people seemed to care.

  When she knew no one was watching, she slipped through the gate and casually walked toward the three buses. A couple of guys wearing lanyards passed her but must have assumed she belonged there since the guards hadn't stopped her. It was a crazy miracle, really. She'd tried this stunt many times before with many bands and had never been successful. Now that she was here what was she supposed to do next?

  All three buses were black. They were numbered on the front, but there were no markings to indicate which one Beau would be using. Fate decided which one she would go to. The doors of all the buses were open. The three drivers were standing together in front of the middle bus smoking. They were absorbed in a conversation. Lucy walked with purpose as if she belonged there. When the drivers could no longer see her, she sprinted to the door of the first bus and climbed inside.

  The interior was immaculate and shiny with blue lights around the ceiling. There were brown leather couches on both sides and a booth for eating. The tiny kitchen area was crammed with bottles of water and soda and booze. She touched everything. She wanted to feel what Beau felt. For months she'd been imagining he was her boyfriend and now she was actually standing in his world.