“Cawfee?” I smile and mimic him, putting the pen on the desk.
“I see we got jokes.”
“Only with you, Twilight.”
“See?” Mark says as he sprawls out on the loveseat I have in my office. “We make a good team. You’re Sparkles and I’m Twilight. It’s like a match made in heaven.”
I laugh, “I think you’re hitting on me, Mr. Dixon.” I know he’s not, but it’s fun to rile him up.
“No, I’m just kidding.” He lifts his hands in mock defense. “I wouldn’t disrespect you, Natalie.”
“Calm down,” I shake my head. “I know you’re not. Aaron would kick your ass,” I reply jokingly and my hand flies to my mouth. “I meant . . . I . . .”
Mark stands and heads over toward my desk. “He would, and so would Liam. It’s okay.”
“Did someone say my name?” I hear Liam’s voice and my eyes snap up. Oh, great.
“Hey,” I greet him and walk over.
“Hey, Dreamboat!” Mark smiles and they shake hands and hug.
“What’s up, man? Long time no see.”
Liam and Mark finish saying hello and catching up briefly before Mark heads out. I don’t know if Liam heard, and if he did, whether it would bother him. Regardless, I’m surprised to see him here.
“I wasn’t expecting you.” My voice is wary.
He enters and closes my door. “I know. I sent you a text but you didn’t answer. I figured I’d just stop by.”
“Well, I’m happy to see you.” He steps closer and I take a step back. Why am I retreating from this man?
“You look beautiful.”
“You look incredibly sexy in uniform.” I appraise him as he approaches. He’s wearing his woodland camo. His sleeves rolled up make his already large biceps look huge. The way the top clings to his chest is hot, and I can only image how amazing his ass looks. Something about the uniforms always makes their asses look fantastic. Maybe I’ll have him spin so I can see.
Liam’s lip slowly rises as if he’s reading my mind. “What are you thinking about?” he asks as he approaches.
I trail his body with my eyes and then back to his face with a grin. “Your ass.”
He laughs and then his eyes darken.
I love the game we play. Playful but seductive. I keep pushing him and soon enough he’s not going to be so patient.
“I’d be happy to let you see my ass . . .”
“I bet you would, but I’m at work and that would be all sorts of inappropriate.” I giggle and put my hand on his chest to stop his approach. Liam pushes me back slowly as if I’m not even there. “What can I do for you, sailor?”
“The guys are going to a bar tonight,” he pauses and I nod. “I haven’t gone out with them in a long time.”
Another step he pushes me back.
“Okay?” I respond slightly confused where he’s going with this.
Liam’s eyes lock with mine. The way he’s looking at me leaves me breathless. I take a deep breath but it does nothing to help, all I smell is him. His cologne mixed with a hard day’s work filters through my body and makes my head spin. “I want you to come with us. With me.”
“I-I . . . but . . .” I trail off and look away. “I don’t know if that’s a good idea.” I keep my eyes down but, of course, Liam isn’t having it.
His arms cage me in as he presses me against my desk. “I don’t want to go and have to push away random skanks all night. I want you by my side. I want to spend the night with you, Natalie.” Liam’s lips press against my neck and I shiver. He slowly trails feather-light kisses down my collar, then to my shoulder, and I groan. “I want to walk in and have every motherfucker look at me and think ‘damn, how’d he get so lucky?’ Then I’ll take you in my arms . . .” Another kiss and he moves his way up my neck to my ear. “And I’ll . . .”
“You’ll . . . ?” I whimper when he bends back.
“You have to tell me if you’re going to go first.”
It’s impossible to say no to him. His blue eyes glimmer with hope and he has me practically trapped between his arms. This date will be different. It’s us going out as a couple with mutual friends. People who knew Aaron and then will see me with Liam. I have to choose whether I will let my past define my future.
“Who’s going?”
“Does it matter?” he counters.
“Yes,” I say looking at him. “Of course it matters. I mean, what do we say?”
Liam’s eyes don’t waver. “Don’t go inside your head. It’s just friends, going out for a beer.”
“No, it’s you and I going out with our friends. Friends that don’t know us as us. Plus, you’ve already told me what you plan to do,” I reply with a taunting look.
“Lee,” he says cautiously, “This doesn’t have to be strange. I’ll keep my hands to myself the whole night.”
I look at him with raised brows. “Right. After you assaulted me in my office with all your promises.”
“Hey, I can keep myself in control. It’s you I worry about. I’m prime meat and you may want to mark your territory. And my assault was working?”
The laugh that escapes me is loud and effortless. My head falls back and his lips find my neck again. I sigh and wrap my arms around his shoulders. “You use your sexiness against me.”
“All part of the plan, sweetheart.”
I squeal and smile, “Okay, you win. I need to see if Paige can watch Aarabelle tonight.”
“Mmmm,” he groans against my collarbone before looking at me. “Hands to myself, right?”
I lean up and kiss him chastely. “It’s not tonight yet.”
“No, no, it’s not,” Liam says before he presses his lips against mine. He reclines me against the cold desk but I only feel heat. His heat. He holds me close and cradles my head in his hands, winding my hair around his fingers. My heart thumps erratically in my chest as he kisses me relentlessly. I claw at his back and pull him closer.
I open my mouth to him and his tongue brushes against mine. And it’s like a switch is turned off. He devours me and takes away all the fear I was holding on to. I’m floating from my body as his weight is on top of me. He won’t let me hurt. He’ll protect me even if it’s from my own guilt.
I feel his joy radiate from him. Both of us have found happiness through each other. It’s scary but also beautiful. I want to give him more. I want to give him what I know he wants. I’m just not sure I’m ready.
Aarabelle is asleep when Paige arrives. This girl saves my life being available on zero notice. I’m not sure what to wear since this is the first time I’m hanging out with everyone. I change over ten times, but finally settle on my favorite jeans and an off-the-shoulder purple top. Cute and comfy is my goal for tonight.
I hear Liam’s car pull in the drive and I give myself a mental pep talk.
I can do this. It’s just friends, and Liam and I aren’t doing anything wrong. Hell, we’re not even sleeping together. Just a lot of kissing. Really, really good kissing. Amazing kissing.
Before he knocks, I open the door. Once again, this man is too good-looking for his own good. How did I never notice this before?
“Hi, sweetheart.” His deep voice is velvety seduction. I melt at the way he draws out the “heart” in “sweetheart” as he appraises me.
“Hi, yourself.” I smile and grab my clutch.
“You ready?”
“As I’ll ever be.” I close the door and reach up to kiss him but he moves away. What the? “Ummm?” I question with my eyes wide.
Liam puts his arm out in a gesture for me to loop mine through, but I stand there waiting for an answer.
“What the hell was that?” My voice is filled with indignation.
“That,” he says, tapping my nose, “Was me keeping my promise. You want me to behave, so you can’t go starting off the night using me for your pleasure,” he informs me, putting his arm back out.
“You’re joking.”
Liam leans down and his lips ba
rely touch my ear as his voice drops lower, “If I touch you now, the rules are off. I want to be able to have my hands on you tonight, but if I start I won’t stop. So you choose. I want you . . . don’t doubt that.” He pulls away and I know this has to be my choice.
Talk about a decision.
I want him and he makes me happy. “And if I want you to kiss me now?”
“Then I get to kiss you later, when I want.”
“What if I don’t want you to kiss me later?”
He laughs and moves his lips so they align with mine, “I think you’ll like me kissing you now, and I know you’ll like me kissing you later.”
“Well, since you put it that way,” I grip his shirt and pull him flush against me. His lips meet mine and I lose myself in his arms. Liam’s hands slide down my body and he cups my ass, lifting me off the ground. Pressed between him and the door, my hands grip his neck and I give him what he wants.
Kissing Liam is unlike anything I’ve felt before. He’s rough, but at the same time tender. His tongue dances with mine as if we’ve been doing this our whole lives. There’s no awkwardness. When he gives, I take, and vice versa. I could spend my entire day kissing him and be completely content.
I moan in his mouth and he grinds his hips against mine. Oh. My. God. My body starts to shake and he does it again. My lips break from his and I’m freaking panting.
“We should go,” he grumbles against my neck.
“I’m going to need a few beers after this.” I shake my head and slide down Liam’s body.
“I need a cold shower.” Liam grabs my hand and we walk to the car. He opens the car door for me. “Seriously, though,” he pauses and waits until our eyes meet, “You’re beautiful.”
My arms wrap around his neck and our lips press together. “Thank you.”
He kisses the top of my head and I climb into his car.
I pray I can make it through tonight without anything exploding.
My God, this woman is killing me. She’s got me wrapped around her finger, but she doesn’t see it. I can’t stay away from her no matter what I do. Running is useless anymore. I wind up thinking about her during any song that comes on. The gym is a joke, every blonde that walks past me I compare to how Natalie’s body is better. I’m growing a fucking vagina.
She looks at me like I’m saving her. I wish she knew how much she is saving me. I’ve always been reckless on missions. There hasn’t been anyone waiting for me at home, so I’d take a bullet for anyone. Now, during our training, I think about how she’d feel. How it would be for her if something happened to me. Not that she loves me . . . yet. But I know she cares. She sure as hell wouldn’t kiss me like that if she didn’t.
“So, what fine establishment are you guys meeting at?” Lee asks as she shifts in her seat. Two of my favorite women are with me right now. Robin and Natalie.
“The Banque,” I reply and wait for her reaction. The Banque is a country line-dancing bar. It’s a little run down, but we get in free thanks to the owner, and there’s never a shortage of women willing to give it up.
Natalie tilts back with a groan.
“What’s the matter, sweetheart?” I ask a little condescendingly. I know she hates that place. All the wives do.
“It’s almost as bad as Hot Tuna. I mean, do you guys even want to try to have some game? Or pick up women who aren’t laying it all out there for you?”
She’s so adorable when she’s like this.
“I’ll let that slide.”
“Let what slide?”
“I have plenty of game,” I let her know. “I’ve never had to work hard.”
She snorts and shakes her head. “Arrogant ass.”
“Don’t worry, only you get to see my game,” I gleam and put my arm behind her seat.
Natalie slaps my chest and smiles. “Well, maybe you should try a new playbook because you’re not getting much here, sweetheart.”
“That hurt.”
“You’ll live.”
“You’ll pay for it.”
Natalie laughs, “I’m sooo sure. You don’t scare me, Liam Dempsey. You’re scared of me though.”
“Damn fucking right I am,” I say under my breath but I’m pretty sure she hears me. I’m terrified of her. She’s everything I want and I have no business wanting her. She’s got a kid and has already lost a husband. I live a dangerous life. I love my life and won’t give it up. There’s so much more to fear in this entire thing than just the fact that she’s my best friend’s wife. Natalie has walls and fears that are valid and I know this. And I’m a selfish prick because I really don’t care. If she doesn’t want me, then she can say so, but until then . . . I want it all with her.
We drive the next few minutes and she stares out the window. I don’t know how to handle her sometimes. Like with the tears. Tears I don’t do. When we pull up to the bar, Natalie sighs. She gets so deep in her own worries, it’s hard to pull her out. I know this isn’t easy and I hate it. I don’t have the baggage of worrying what everyone thinks the way she seems to. Quite frankly, I don’t give a shit. People will judge no matter what, and Natalie and I are grown adults.
“Lee?” I ask her and her head falls to the side as she looks at me.
“You ready to stake your claim, Dreamboat?” she smiles and my worry fades away.
“Stake my claim?”
“You know . . . let everyone know we’re together.”
I lean forward and she turns to look at me. “Is this what you want?”
“Liam, of course.”
“No, I’m serious.” I pause because I want her to actually hear me. “If you need time, if you don’t want to keep going, we can just go back to friends. I’m only saying this before I get any closer to you. I’ve known you a long time and it feels like once we flipped the switch from friends to more, I don’t want to slow down.” I admit this because I know she needs to hear it. She’s had a shit year and I can respect that, but my feelings for her grow each day.
“That’s what scares me. I think about you all the time. I worry this isn’t normal because it feels so easy.” She looks out the front window and then back to me. “I care about you so much. You make me happy and . . . I just . . .”
“Just?”
“I don’t want to go too fast and then screw it up. I don’t want to lose you either. I have to think about Aarabelle, and I worry about when we take the next steps, how I know I won’t be able to guard my heart from you.” Natalie’s eyes are open and she’s vulnerable. I know how she struggles with letting go and it’ll be next to impossible to ignore the feeling that a ghost is watching.
When we’re in her house, it’s strong. I see Aaron around every corner and it freaks me the fuck out. I can’t imagine what it’s like for her.
“I’ll never hurt you intentionally. You don’t have to guard your heart.”
Natalie’s eyes fill with tears and I feel my body start to go into panic mode. She swipes at her eyes. “You’re going to make me fall in love with you, aren’t you?”
“I’m pretty sure that’s a done deal.”
She laughs and opens the car door, breaking the moment. “We’ll have to see about that.”
When she reaches me on the other side of the car, I pull her against me. “Yeah, we will.”
I haven’t been to this bar in years, but the place hasn’t changed too much. There’s a dance floor in the middle and it’s surrounded by tables. There are two bars on either side and there’s a huge bar in the back of the room. The pool tables are always occupied, but maybe I can convince Natalie to play a game or two. Maybe she’ll need me to teach her.
I start to imagine what she’ll look like with the stick, bent over the pool table. The way her hair will fall and her eyes will find mine. I’ll walk behind her and feel her ass press against my dick. The way she’ll wiggle . . .
Nuns.
Puppies.
AK-47s.
Diapers.
Glad I got that back under control
. We find the table where a few of the guys are already sitting.
“Hey, fucker!” Quinn stands and claps me on the shoulder, already giving me his bullshit-disapproving stare.
“Hey, where’s what’s-her-name?” I ask knowing he cycles through women like it’s nothing. I don’t think he’s ever fucked the same girl twice.
“I’m looking for fresh meat today.” He gives me a look and turns to Natalie. “Hey, beautiful!” Quinn walks over and gives her a hug. I swear if he upsets her, he’s going home to ice his balls.
“Hi, Quinn. I haven’t seen you in a long time.” Natalie’s voice shakes a little. She’s nervous, which I try real hard to not let bother me. I’m ready to show everyone where we stand and I wish she was too. I know it’s been less than a year and I know it shouldn’t bug me. But the problem with knowing and letting are two different things.
We’re good together. I’ve known her for almost nine years and never did I imagine I’d be with her like this. She brings something alive inside of me.
I say hello to the rest of the guys from the team, and when we get to the end, Natalie shrieks.
“Rea!” she runs over and hugs her best friend. “I didn’t know you’d be here.”
The infamous Reanell Hansen. The two of them giggle and I see Commander Hansen tip his beer to me. Fuck. How the hell did this happen?
“Commander,” I say and shake his hand. It’s one thing when we’re all deployed, but to be drinking with your boss when you’re home is another thing.
“Dempsey, today it’s just ‘Mason,’” he says and grumbles under his breath.
“Oh, Mason, stop being a dick,” Reanell says, and she stands, walking over to me.
“I’m Reanell. It’s nice to finally meet you for more than two seconds in passing.”
“Nice to meet you, ma’am.”
“You did not just ‘ma’am’ me.”
I laugh and immediately like her. “No. Never.”
“That’s what I thought. Now, sit and let’s get some alcohol going so Natalie looks like she can breathe.” She smiles and makes us sit.
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