Consolation (Consolation Duet #1)

by Corinne Michaels

  Then I wonder about Liam. The fact that I’d be entering a relationship knowing the life I’d live with him and the possible outcome. But I was built for this. I’m a SEAL wife. I know the life, the struggles, and the joys that it can bring. I know I’m able to handle deployments and all that goes with it. I just don’t know if I could withstand losing him. Loving Liam comes with a cost.

  “What’s going through your mind? I can feel you tensing up.” Liam breaks the silence.

  I lean on my hand that rests upon his chest. His blue eyes sparkle and I give a sad smile. “I’m thinking about all of it. The love, the loss, the affair. I think the fact that I don’t have answers is the hardest part.”

  “Do you want to talk to her? Will that help?” Liam’s hand continues to run up and down my back.

  “I don’t know. A part of me wants to forget it all and call her a liar. What does it even matter?”

  Liam kisses the top of my head and lets out a deep sigh.

  “Where do we go from here?” I ask.

  Liam’s hands grip my shoulders and he pulls me on top of him. I’m lying on his chest and we’re face to face. “We decide. You decide because I’m here with you, but I need to know you’re not there with him.”

  Pushing my hands up his chest, I rest against his shoulders. “I’m with you right now.”

  He sits up so quickly I’m not sure how he manages it. He flips me so I’m on my back and he’s on top of me. My body warms from his touch and he glides his calloused fingers down my bare arm. “Liam . . .” I sigh his name.

  “Tell me when you need me to stop,” his voice is low and smooth.

  I don’t know that I’ll ever be able to tell him to stop. I hope he has more control than I do.

  His fingers graze my pants where my shirt meets. I squirm in anticipation. Liam pauses and my eyes lock on his. I don’t speak or move, but I grant him the permission he seeks. He knows how to read me, my body, my tiny movements that not many would be able to pick up on. It’s a blessing and a curse.

  The pads of his fingers float across my stomach and my breath stops. Lust flurries and builds as his fingertip moves higher. It skims my ribs and he traces the underside of my breast.

  “Tell me if it’s too much,” his husky voice gravels in my ear.

  “It’s not enough,” the words fall from my lips.

  Liam groans and his tongue traces the shell of my ear. My eyes roll back in my head in pure pleasure as he pushes underneath my bra. When his finger grazes my nipple, I nearly buck off the couch.

  “You’re so perfect,” he reassures me and rubs back and forth, my nipple pebbling beneath his adept touch.

  Needing to touch him, I run my hands under his shirt, pushing it up. Liam uses one hand and rips it off. My fingers delicately press against his skin. I trace the tattoo on his ribs: Dulce bellum inexpertis. I outline the letters and he tenses. “What does that mean?” I ask as he kisses my neck.

  He looks up and his blue eyes darken. “It means war is sweet for those who haven’t experienced it.”

  My voice is barely audible, “I’m sorry. I know you’ve lost a lot.”

  “I’ve gained too. War takes from us. It robs us of so much, but if we let it . . . it can save us. You being here in my arms right now is reminding me that sometimes the victory is worth the battle.”

  Liam bows down as each breath passes between us. As much as he’s breathing life into me, I’m doing the same for him. We’ve both lost because of war. Liam’s lost countless friends as well as handling his own demons. “I shouldn’t be feeling this way,” I say as he brushes the hair out of my eyes.

  “What do you feel?” his voice is rich and warm. It heats parts of my body that have been forgotten. “Describe it,” he demands.

  I close my eyes as his hand floats down my body and back under my shirt. I allow the sensations to overtake my mind and Liam’s touch is what I give myself over to. “Your hands are strong, but when you touch me, it’s tender.” His thumb brushes my nipple and I sigh. “The scraping of your thumb against my skin.” He does it again.

  “Does it feel good?” he asks gruffly.

  “Yes,” I moan, as his hand cups my breast and he squeezes.

  “Do you want me to keep touching you?” he asks.

  Keeping my eyes closed, I stay in the moment. “Please,” my voice is low and dripping with need.

  His weight shifts and he pulls my shirt over my head. I look at him and his eyes turn to liquid as he appraises me, setting my nerves at ease. Liam groans in approval. “Perfect. Every inch of you is perfection.” He pulls my straps down and waits. I tilt and unhook my bra, but leave it in place.

  No other man has seen me like this besides Aaron. Aaron was my first and only. Liam seems to understand my hesitation and then he’s on top of me again. His mouth fuses to mine and he kisses me eagerly. My fingers pull his beanie off and tangle into his hair. I want him so much right now. Every cell feels like it’s on fire and I’ll soon become cinders. Burning with need, I get lost again. No thoughts of anything but him exist.

  My hands grip his ass as he grinds down on me. I feel his hardness against my core and I begin to throb. His hands start to drift down my side as he pulls the bra from between us, but keeps me covered with his body.

  “I’m going to suck on your breasts, Natalie. Do you want that?” he asks and I practically melt into the couch.

  I whimper as he reaches behind my back and pulls me with him. He keeps me shielded with his chest. I’m straddling his legs, feeling the exceedingly large bulge between my legs.

  He holds me against him and stares into my eyes, “Do you want my mouth on you, or do you want me to stop?” There’s no anger or hesitation. He wants me, it’s clear, but he’s not wanting to push me too far.

  “Don’t stop,” I plead and his hands drift down my back ever so slowly. There’s no hurt in my heart right now. I feel alive and adored. My heart races and my core clenches.

  Liam carefully extends me onto my back, keeping his eyes on me. His head drops and his tongue circles my nipple. He lavishes it and caresses me. “Oh, oh God.” My voice is husky and my breath comes in short bursts.

  His mouth moves to the other breast and my hips move against him, creating the friction I’m desperate for. “Your skin tastes like heaven.” He sits back and looks at me.

  I fight the urge to cover up, and the way his eyes appraise me keeps me still. The tip of my finger slides to the front of him and his head falls back. I rock against him again. It feels too good to stop. “Liam,” I sigh his name.

  “Tell me to stop or I’m going to flip you over and not be able to control myself.”

  “Kiss me,” I request and he acquiesces. Our mouths come together and my hand rests on his heart. I feel his life beneath my palm. He’s alive, real, and he’s good to me. Liam was there when Aara was sick, when I was sick, and any other time I’ve needed him. Liam’s mouth never touched Brittany. His hands press against my back and he holds me tightly against him. There’s nowhere else I’d rather be than right here in his arms.

  We break apart and we stay chest to chest. “I’ll never take you for granted. I’ll never give another woman a piece of me once you’re mine. I’ll only be yours.”

  I look up with tears in my eyes. “I’m not ready, but I’m yours now. I want to give myself to you completely when it can be only about us.”

  “What makes you think I was offering myself to you?” Liam smirks and the mood shifts from raging desire to playfulness.

  “Oh?” I raise my brows in question. “I think if I wanted you, I could have you.”

  Liam pulls me closer and I nuzzle into his neck. “Are you calling me an easy lay?”

  I laugh and he kisses the side of my face. “Never. There’s nothing easy about you.”

  “Well, except my banging hot body . . . I mean, that’s just easy on the eyes.”

  “Arrogance is not sexy, darling,” I tease as his finger makes designs on my back.

/>   “I think you’re very sexy,” Liam says as his hands make their way to the sides of my breasts.

  “Oh?” I reply as my lips press against his neck.

  “Should I show you with my mouth?” he inquires while his scruff grates across my shoulder. It prickles my skin and ignites the lust that had dropped to a low simmer.

  My phone chimes, interrupting where we were going. I groan and reach over toward my purse. Liam adjusts himself and sits back, looking at my half naked body with a smug smile.

  “Shit,” I say when I read the text. “I gotta go. Aarabelle is being super fussy and Rea has to run out.” I grab my bra and Liam snatches it from my hand. “I need that.”

  “I’m thinking you wouldn’t want to leave the house like that.”

  I don’t want to leave. God knows I want to stay here with him. It’s the only time I’m whole. There’s no pity in Liam’s eyes. When I see myself in him, I’m desired and beautiful. I lean down and kiss him and grab his t-shirt. I throw it over my head and smile.

  “Keep the bra. I can wear your clothes.”

  Liam stands before he takes a measured step, slowly drawing me in. “I’m going to take the coldest shower I can manage. I’ll somehow find a way to not think about you in my clothes. Walking around with my shirt clinging to your body and you smelling like my cologne.”

  I step back and grab my purse. “You may need to take two showers.” I wink and open the front door. I turn back and glance at him over my shoulder. “You know, I might even sleep in it.” I turn back and hear him groan as I close the door behind me.

  Funny, I didn’t think of the pain Aaron caused even once while I was in Liam’s arms.

  “Dempsey, my office now,” Commander Hansen orders and I pop tall. What the hell did I do now?

  “Sir,” I say and stand at his desk.

  “Take a seat,” he instructs me and points to the chair. Commander is the kind of officer we all want to serve under. He’s fair and doesn’t think he’s above everyone. He’s a leader you want to follow and it makes taking orders from him pretty easy. “My wife is a pain in my ass. She meddles, and most of the time I’m able to handle her shit, but Natalie is a different story. Gilcher served under me for six years. I knew him and he was like family. So, me calling you in here isn’t Commander to Chief. It’s man to man.”

  I nod out of respect and bite back my response. It’s no one’s business what the hell happens between Natalie and I. The other night was a shit show. What was supposed to be a turning point ended up in complete disaster thanks to a stupid bitch.

  “I’m sure you don’t give a shit, and honestly, I don’t care if you do. I care about Lee and Aarabelle. More than that, my wife makes my life miserable when she gets like this. Rea is worried, so if you need to take a few days and be there, go.”

  That wasn’t what I thought he was going to say. I thought I was going to get the stay-away-from-her speech. To which I would’ve found a way to tell him to suck my dick . . . respectfully. “How long?”

  “If you need to drop leave, I’ll approve it. We have the next two weeks where there’s nothing going on. Hell, most of you guys will leave before lunch anyway.”

  “I’ll do that, sir. I appreciate it.”

  Commander looks away and huffs. “Natalie didn’t smile, cry, or laugh. For weeks she just sat with no emotions. Reanell was in the delivery room with her and it wasn’t until Aarabelle was born that she finally cried. She went back to that way a few weeks after Aaron’s memorial.” He scratches his face. “Then she started to open up when she thought no one was looking. I attribute that to your arrival.”

  “I don’t know that I had anything to do with it.”

  “I don’t either, but it’s a hunch.”

  This is the most bizarre conversation I’ve ever had.

  Commander stands and walks to the wall. “I suspected something was going on before he left for Afghanistan,” he admits. “I think Natalie remembers a different life than what she was living.”

  Aaron was my best friend. I knew he was struggling with a baby coming and what it meant, but I never thought he was fucking around on her. He and I were living on opposite coasts, so we didn’t talk as often, but he sure as fuck never mentioned another woman.

  I think about Natalie and how she is already reconstructing her walls. I remember what she felt like, tasted like, and how long it took my dick to go down. Yesterday was another day I didn’t expect to happen the way it went, but she opened up to me. The need to claim a part of her was so strong, I wasn’t sure I would stop. I had to constantly remind myself that she was in control of how far we went.

  She’s worth the blue balls.

  “I understand, Sir. I’m going to need those few days.”

  “I was hoping you were the man I thought you were.” Commander stands and extends his hand.

  “Commander.”

  “Chief, I’ll see you in a few days.”

  I turn and start to form a plan. One that includes no way out and maybe rope.

  “So, you guys still together?” Quinn asks as we load the weights on the bar.

  “Yeah,” I reply and get aligned to lift. I’m going for a personal record and all this dick wants to do is talk about Natalie.

  I line up my hands and Quinn pushes down so I can’t move. “She’s okay with this? The fact that her husband—your best friend—was fucking around on her and she wants to be with you?”

  “I’m not sure where you got confused when I said ‘yeah.’ She and I are together. Aaron fucked up, but he and I are separate.”

  “If you say so,” he scoffs and moves his hand.

  He’s always got something smart to say. It’s irritating and I’m tired of his bullshit. “You know, you’re not a part of my fucking life choices. If I want to be with her, I will. If she’s okay with it and I’m okay with it, then what the hell do you care?”

  Quinn steps back with his hands raised, “I’m just asking, dude.”

  I sit up, pissed off. “When you’ve fucked anything that walks, I never said shit. You’ve fucked up more than all of us combined.” My hands tremble as I clench them into a ball. “Lay off about me and Lee.”

  He moves toward me. “I won’t say another word after I say this. You hurt her and I’ll beat the ever-living shit out of you. She’s not just some girl. She’s his fucking wife and that’s his daughter. I know the cost that comes with a single mother.”

  “I’m not stupid.”

  “The jury’s still out on that one.” Quinn slaps me on the shoulder. “I may not have been as close as you and Aaron were, but he was my friend too. I know you’re not a piece of shit. I’m saying to make sure you’re all in before you go any further.” He gives me a pointed look and then morphs back into his normal, jackass self. “Now, let’s see if your weak ass can lift this.”

  We’ve been friends for a long time. It’s probably the longest speech I’ve ever heard. “You don’t have to worry about me hurting her.”

  “All I wanted to hear. Are we going to work out or do you want to hug it out?” he jokes while waiting.

  “Dickhead. Let’s go.” I get back on the bench and try to focus on getting through the rest of the workout.

  Quinn and I finish and decide to go grab lunch. He’s smart enough not to bring up my relationship or whatever the fuck this is with Lee. We talk about the upcoming deployment. Having our own squad means we work together but each manage a group of guys. We’re hoping our squads aren’t split since we understand each other. It’s nice to know the guy who’s watching your six.

  “I heard you’re taking a few days off,” Quinn mentions as he grabs his drink.

  “Yeah, I’m going to take Natalie and Aarabelle somewhere. I have to figure it out,” I laugh. I’ve racked my brain trying to think of something close that she’d like. Just something for us to get away from all this shit and see if this is something or if it’s a matter of circumstance.

  “Why don’t you take her to my beach
house?”

  “Where?”

  “The one in OBX. I know she lives on the beach and all, but it’s a nice house and it’s away.”

  “I gotta admit, man, I’m shocked,” I muse and lean back. He’s the last person I thought would be helping me out.

  “I told you, I wanted to be sure. You care about her and you’re taking the kid. I think that says it all. Here,” he says and takes the key off his ring. “Take it. Go or don’t. I don’t care. I’ll tell you all the info. It’s a few hours, but Corolla is a cool spot. I’ve seen the wild horses a time or two.”

  “You’re not such a dick after all.” I smile as I put the key in my pocket.

  “Don’t tell anyone.”

  “Your secret’s safe with me,” I slap him on the back. “Until you piss me off. Then I’ll tell everyone.”

  “Yeah, I’ll tell everyone how you couldn’t lift the bar today.”

  Now, I need to get my bag together and a plan to get Natalie to agree.

  This should be fun.

  “Mamamama,” Aarabelle repeats over and over, sitting in her highchair. It’s music to my ears. She’s growing up so fast. I wish I could push pause and freeze frame each tiny moment.

  She’s truly mobile now, which has been a huge pain in the ass. Plus, everything goes in her mouth, and I swear the child can find the tiniest things.

  “Mamamama.”

  “Hi, beautiful girl.” I smile and put another Cheerio on the tray. I’ve learned one Cheerio gives me time for about one dish to get washed. Timing is everything.